Cancer man inlove with Tuarus woman break up (Page 3)

totally agreed......it's a sort of social breeding thing this....seems to be self forfilling if that makes sense? people think having lots of partners is a big thing these days...it's not...it's having the right one

this fwb situation --- it's a male and female in it right - 2 people? so automatically the woman gets branded:
FWB - FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS = women with absolutely no self respect=chivalry dead.

Time for women to say no and mean it. Stop spreading the legs, my son will be out there soon, and the last thing I want is for him to have a disease they so proudly donate.

How about the guys sticking it where they see fit? what will be the advice for them?

Hmm and I always wondered why men have no respect for women from a very young age when they are not sexually active?

then the guys asks: so the women are STUPID for wanting to want the same thing that guys want? Do men not spread diseases around and convince women to have sex while giving her the impression he wants more than sex? if the men don't ask, would the woman have to say no? someone must have taught the guys to ask for fwb or instant gratification to begin with right?

I follow your point but I'm just not seeing why women are still getting different treatment from men --- oh right, never mind this is the view of the society we've always lived in I guess...thanks...

i agree zena

I don't know Virgotme,
What I'm getting from your text is the way you want people to be - what if they're actually happy with anal, fwb, porn, etc? is that not a possibilty or because you don't want it, the assumption is why would they? Not everyone likes the same things - allowance and acceptance for variety in tastes, etc, should be what is taught, right? Bottom line, no one ever knows what makes another happy deep inside, why decide for them?

hmmm.... it is true that FWB may be what some people really WANT - but the nature of it makes it completely contrary to the idea of a commited relationship.... that's the whole point after all - no commitment.

What I was talking about and what virgogotme responded to was how these types of situations destroy the chances of a real committed relationship..... girls often do get into FWB situations thinking they can turn it into something more.... and the EXPECTANCY that a relationship has to be based on physical, often leads people to neglect the emotional.... I think that a long distance relationship has an excellent chance of surviving between two people who are truly compatible because of the fact that none of the physical stuff gets in the way. I'm not saying a long distance relationship is BETTER than one where two people are close, only that the nature of a long distance relationship does not, as has been suggested, mitigate its potential....

way too many inconsistencies

well you have quite a bit of contrariness to get over yourself.... you just love to argue with people.

And anyway, NO IT DOES NOT MITIGATE THE POTENTIAL - people use the fact that the relationship is long distance as an excuse for why they hurt the other person - it's not their fault, it's because it was a long distance relationship and those just aren't meant to be..... BULLSHIT - the fact is ANY relationship has equal potential to fail or succeed; it is entirely dependent on the people involved and how they feel about each.

I'm a bull - we're EXTREMELY physical people; I love to touch - to hold hands, and cuddle, and kiss, and be close. I'm the sort of person who could spend hours in silence just happily holding the one I love - if I can handle a LDR then so can anyone else - unless of coure physical is ALL they are looking for. And again, if that is the case then they will fail in the relationship regardless. Relationships are not ALL about physical, and if you really love someoen and want to be with them then weeks, months, even years apart won't change that.

If a relationship relies on physical to succeed then it was never going to succeed to begin with - it was just about convenience and physical gratification. If you want to be with someone then distance won't make you change your mind when you believe you have the rest of your life to spend with them and be physical. A long distance rtelationship fails the same way any other relationship does - one or both people just don't have their hearts in it.

Pure love IS all you REALLY need - that is why people have commitment issues these days and they get divorced - because pure love is rarely taken into account; again it comes down to instant gratification, that and ridiculous standards that have nothing to do with love. LDRs are not more difficult than any other relationship - all types of relationships present unique problems. And plenty of people have fallen in love throughout history without sex - even today, there are still such things as arranged marriages, and people who wait for marriage to have sex - and plenty of them [even the arranged marriages] end up happy unions. Bonding is extremely important - more important than sex; but you can bond over the phone, email, letters, etc.

What about people whose partner is paralyzed and can't have sex? That is love without sex....and it does exist. And in that case you're talking about FOREVER - in a LDR you're only talking about as long as it takes until you can be together.

by the way: fuck you.

Wow! What an interesting thread! Mindcrash, would you mind giving us an update? Haha, it's like a soap opera but horoscope focused! LOL!

I have to say though -- seeing mindcrash go through the whole range of CANCER EMOTIONS is quite interesting. I'm a Cancer and I too have gone through those range of emotions and have often though/acted the way mindcrash did. I also had the same doubts, insecurities, fears, and inconsistencies that he faced -- maybe not to the degree he was going through but often, i wouldn't be able to eat, sleep, or even think 80% of the time. i often wondered, what the hell is going on w/ me and why am i acting this way?

Which leads me to give one bit of advice to mindcrash which has helped me maintain my sanity when it dealing with our intense cancer emotions -- repeat this to yourself multiple times a day when you are feeling like you're losing control:

"_I_ am in control of my emotions. My emotions DO NOT control me!"

haha, if you repeat it enough times...you'll start to believe it, and if you believe it...it can work wonders for us poor fragile Cancerians...

well me and her have been talking and flirting alot...but I think it's mainly just her still feeling lonely in the new uni.....I'm not sure...a few times she has said things that make it sound like she wants me.......made a joke last night calling her the boss of me....I joked back saying she wasnt...she said oh but she could be......so anyway made jokes that there was a part position if she wanted it....things like that.....hopefully I am going to spend the weekend with her ont he 17th but we will see as she is yet to reply....she still texts first thing in the morning....so that must be some sort of a good sign.....thing is I am not patient....and after the job jokes she said she wasnt ready to take a job yet.....wether it was a joke or our twisted way of talking I dont know...she told me too stop being so serious so I think she knew what I was talking about....so last night I told her....I just really want to start something new with her from scratch....I couldnt care less about the distance or what things like facebook or people know or think.....she didnt reply at all just changed the subject and started talking about the cuddly toys I got her hugging on the chair....

I hope so...just gotta wait three now and be patient and put in the work!

No, actually it's called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. When you have unconditional love, nothing will get in a way of a relationship - NOTHING.

Actually unconditional love is only for a parent and a child. Unconditional love between a man and a woman doesn't even exist. Unconditional love is a myth. The only way to unconditionally love someone is to be totally in charge of them.

A parent can love a small child unconditionally because a small child is under strict, complete control of the parent. The parent has the ability to pick the child up and place them elsewhere if they are not satisfied with what the child is doing.

On the other hand, if someone has a mind of their own and that particular person has the ability to ignore you, shut you out and make their own decisions that the other person can not prevent even if they wanted to, you cannot love them unconditionally.

YOU CANNOT PREVENT ANOTHER PERSON FROM DESTROYING THE LOVE. That is the reason SOME women need to learn the art of being lovers instead of mothers.

I shall carry on with my life story-soap-opera 😛

anyeay....talking today has been a little strange after last night...none the less the talk of me wanting to move on in my job and buy a new car came up...she got really into that...long story short I said I will put her on the insurance and she can drive it when I visit...........totally out of character reply came in the form of...."thats a committment"....to wich I rfeplied. yes it is.one I am willing to make now. and then she changed the subject....just thought I'd share

maybe....who knows.....nothing I can really do tell I actually see her wich is yet to be confirmed...

always little things that set me back emtionally 😢 like now she is saying she just needs to find out about parking and such and if it's ok for people to stay in the dorm and such...sounds like excuses but ohwell

krobe you make sense 😉

mind_crash...

some thoughts about your recent story...

1) you can't have a relationship if both people don't want the same thing. if she doesn't want a relationship, you can't make her or pressure her. make sure that putting her on your car insurance is something you would do for her as her best friend, not her "potential future bf". you need to separate this clearly or your emotions will get all tangled up again (well it's already tangled up but it will be even more tangled if you don't distinguish now)

2) sounds like she's deflecting the subject of commitment quite a bit. i think you need to back off and just stay as good of a friend as possible to her. do the things for her that you do because she's a great person and you truly want her to be happy.

3) i think cancers are so needy, clingy, whiney sometimes. i myself am a cancer... i tend to get that way around a girl i really like. bigtime turn-offs. there are things we can do each day to improve ourselves. my last bit of advice to you is -- if you want a AWESOME girl to fall for you, then you should be PRETTY AWESOME yourself. focus on that, focus on yourself. make yourself AWESOME -- go work out, take some classes in things u like, focus on career and work hard, be the best YOU that you can be and do all the things that you feel will make you better, stronger, more confident. that will do wonders for your relationship. this girl isn't the only girl in the world who can make you happy. right now, it seems that way because -- well, you have no others to compare her with. but if you focus on yourself and IMPROVE and BECOME AWESOME, everything can only get better.

and most importantly, do all of this for YOURSELF...not for her. do it because you want to be better, you want to improve...not just for her. instead of feeling sorry for yourself when things don't go right -- go out there and do something about it. set goals, achieve them, become a stud...learn, improve, ... you're 24...a young guy, you can do all of this! focus on self-motivation, not self-pity...

and be there for her as your friend, but in the meantime, focus on yourself...put your efforts on things you can control like improving yourself -- and let the rest of the things u can't control, take care of itself.

all good advice....and I am trying that........for me.....I just dont want to do the typical thing and run away....I always do that...not an ex left that I talk to anymore......becuase I always just ran away........this time I dont want that.....I want to prove I can be trusted with her feelings....

why the personal attacks between P and angelfish? anways cancer and tauruses rock. later

because ms pisces is a bitch - if I wanted to discuss me and cj's relationship here I would have just started my own goddam thread.

no - to begin with I am not a drama queen, though I have never denied being insecure. But you ARE a bitch because having that particular bit of personal business thrown out there was not for you to decide. That is between me and him and as I said if I wanted to discuss it openly here then I would have posted my own thread.
Whether you assumed you knew something about it or not, that question was highly innapropriate and if you had any tact you would have considered that answer might be exactly what it was.

and your speculations about why he feels the way he does are neither appropriate nor welcome. If ever I WANT your opinion on MY relationships I will ask for it.......

you are seriously demented.... you just don't get the fact that it is NOT for you to bring those kinds of things up. That question was innaproriate no matter how you intended it.

Ladies please......calm down......while love everyone views please could we stick to the topic here more......

Ms.Pisces....please leave you apparent Angel bashing to another thread thanks...Angel has given me nothing but brilliant advice so far.....respect that fact this is my topic

Actually I did NOT bring it up - I was talking about LDRs in general and YOU brought me and cj specifically, which was disrespectful and innapropriate.

Twist the words any way you want - it has nothing to do with me "basking in misery" or imagining you attacking me. No matter what I say you very pointedly disagree with me. I made a comment about your contrariness, and I also offered my opinion in rebuttal - none of that was an attack against you or an insinuation of an attack from you.... however the connection between this situation and me and CJ would have been for ME to bring up if I wanted and since I didn't there was no reason for you to throw it out there unless you were trying to take a pot shot at me and put my business out there. If there was another reason for it then I would have said so without you bringing it up.

sorry MC... I have nothing more to say here... I don't need people picking apart my personal life withut me asking for advice just for the sake of putting my pain on display for everyone......

Angel you have no need to say sorry....dont worry....your advice is still more than welcome!

That is th ereason why i cant be with PISCEs women they the ones that like drama and be all dreamy and out of this world or in their world. MS pisces how would u like it if someone pointed out the faults of your relationships and i mean very personal. U would not like it. It was something that was WRONG. Fullstop!!! but besides that though mindcrash it is up to u what u decide . It's a learning process and eventually u will get it right. To angel mwaaaahh and big hugs. Do not study it... brush yuh shoulders off. Head high and mmmmmmm fooodddddd, i'm hungry later. Oh i left some cheesecake in the fridge,lol. Oops off topic talking making me hungry. I made lasagne today and of course every one finished off all of it. Cant wait to try some new dishes. Probably something hawaiian or from the food network. MMMMM later.

well back on track....seems like at the end of the day (figuratively speaking) she misses me.....if she's alone I'll get a message if she's sad I'll get a message...if I dont contact her to reply to something i'll get a message.....first thing in the morning aswell....if she buys something she will send me a picture.....she called me just to say she was going to the post office.....it's getting to the point though where I have less and less to say...and that worries me....I am not sure if things cannot go towards trying a relationship again I do not think I can continue being her friend...she needs the support yes...but the heart ache for me when a new man steps in will be too much....

Xangelfishx Get your Ass!! back here and do your thing , Yes your Harsh but your
true and that's what lm about and some times the truth hurts, Sorry Ms Pisces u
Don't do that , intention meant or not, its painful and you picked the one thing
that you know would hurt her for self amusement , if you were honest you would
admit it!, l had a pisces! do exactly the same to me for impact and Jealousy , and
yes it messed up my best friendship . ... look you will need support one day on this
site,and you may just curse the day you bought that comment to the
public domain in that way , very disrespectful Babe , check your self and do the
right thing ,you could have taken many examples but that one.

And just to mention l ain't here to fight , l like the fact others on here helped me
through the crap l had to deal with ,and l also think you did at some point too.

God Bless x

here's the deal MC - yes, she misses you. She is doing everything she can to show you she misses you and to stay in contact. I don't keep in touch with people... it's just not me.... BUT someone I love [an SO] is different - she called to tell you she was going to the post office - that is just her way of getting to hear your voice even though she can't think of anything important to say.... she's not going to be direct because she feels as though you're just looking for friendship at this point and NEEDS you to tell her otherwise, to tell her how you really feel about her. When she makes those mysterious comments about committment it's because she wants to see how you react because she's not sure if you meant it that way or not.
Stop playing around and tell the girl how you feel.

Now Thats The Bull I Know !!

Ms Pisces

Like you l have a wicked sense of humour,and l predicted you would say somthing like that ,to turn it to your favour , no issues withbthe either.you get ur fun on here and ,you know what l dig that too, so unlike others l will not get drawn by your need to draw folk into your web of fun ,but hey looking at you, l would say you believe in god!so be careful!! There is only so much he Lets you play with, take note! Babe (and that is not a joke!)

For angel.......Told her everything about how I feel.....she told me she couldnt hear it over the phone she just coldnt hear me say it so I had to text her.....she said she wasnt ready and didnt know if she would ever be.....although she was texting I know she was crying and upset becuase I know she was alone and replying in seconds then answers took ages.....so fact is....no matter why she cant do it...wether as you say she is afraid it wont be different(what I still believe) or something else.....so I am going to have to move on now....it cant be good to keep trying....but I do feel really lead on and used a bit by her this week...she pulled on my heart strings and she knows it

she still said she was afraid to lose me and I told her I had to say it becuase of how I feel and how afraid I am to lose her....said that just taking the safe option and being friends is not really the safer option.....

oh well de-tox time...

very good time to move on. Weird though why is she afraid to lose u and yet she isnt ready?Odd for a bull.

well in her head she is totally alone I think...I think thats it....I am her only real friend at the moment...in her eyes I think

mind crash,

i'm sorry to hear that you have gotten to the point where you're fed up with all this push-pull from your friend.

two observations i want to share with you:

1) have you considered that she's just very young and immature? it may not be so much horoscopes or astrology at this point. she's 19...she's at a very vulnerable and confusing stage in her life. maybe she's just too young to have a serious relationship at this point.

2) people on this board, such as xanglefishx, are giving you advice from a taurus woman's perspective. however, they are also more mature, experienced, and self aware than your friend. these advice, while they may help w/ a taurus woman of that age or experience level, may not really help you with your exact situation.

3) you have put yourself out there for your friend and you have told her how you feel. i think as one Cancer guy to another, you have done all you can and you have nothing to regret. you've done your best mindcrash and if you feel it is time to move on, i support you 100% . i know how frustrating it can be -- us Cancers feel so much emotion and rejection is not something we're very used to. at some point, while dealing with the overwhelming feelings of sadness and rejection, we just feel that a part of us dies...and we just need to move on with our lives.

you'll be just fine mind crash...time heals all, even us vulnerable and fragile Cancers...

err i meant 3 observations, not 2 🙂

good advice^^^^^^^^^

cj....I'm biting my tongue right now trying very hard not to say anything............

i didnt do it.......

She probably just doesn't trust him not to change his mind again - she did give him a chance to prove it to her. A phone call might have been too much for her to handle, but she did give him the opportunity to talk via text. And he confirmed her fears: that he wasn't really serious.

An "I love you, I'm sorry I did that" text isn't really proof that he's sincere - only that he's feeling vulnerable right now and afraid to let go.

Speaking from the point of view of a taurus female, I wouldn't give him the chance to talk if I wasn't HOPING he'd change my mind. She may be 19, but I remeber being 19 [it wasn't THAT llong ago.....] and my convictions about love and faithfullness and loyalty and committment were as strong then as they are now. I never went through a phase where I need to play the field and see what was out there. I tried to MAKE myself do that at one point because it was what "normal" 20 somethings did - but that didn't last long because it was NOT what I wanted for myself.

So who knows - maybe she is immature, maybe not.... but just being 19 isn't an indicator of immaturity. Taureans tend to mature faster than others.

When you think taurus and romance think ostentatious declerations of love - think Richard Gere at the end of Pretty Woman, or John Cusak and that famous scene from say anything.

MC, I'll approach this from a 30,000 ft view and it might sound blunt.

She wants her cake and eat it. She's holding on to you till something better comes along. You are her emotional stepping stone. You two will only end up being really good friends through your emotional hard work. When the time comes, she'll find Mr Right and will tell you all about him. You will then be the person she tells all her dreams, hopes and problems to but her heart will belong to the other guy. Is this what you want? If no then I would suggest letting her go.

If a lady is not ready. She's not ready. Period. You can be the greatest guy in the world and it won't matter.

Cut your losses now, heal and recast your net out into the sea. There are plenty of fish out there. Yes, you can say that this one was a special fish and I firmly believe you, however there are other special fish yet to be discovered. 😉

fer real exactly what texas said the want the cake and eat it too syndrome. sickening.

well I still have no idea about all this anymore.......I have backed off a bit....problem is I give in when she "needs" me.....for example she seemed to want to talk to me every second of this weekend (as she was alone at uni most people went home to families) I did not realise and was very busy so was not replying as I normally would....she kept telling me how she was feeling really low but not about what...and how she needed a hug etc etc but has started behaving very very strangely and kept telling me how sorry she was thats she's been behaving "off" and that she didnt want to burden me with her troubles as in her mind I have enough going on im my life at the moment anyway (wich I guess is right)

she is comming back up for the weekend on the 17th of november for a rememberance ball....not sure if I should do something....still incredibly hung up on her......keep thinking if I knew a way to show her the inside of my head and she could see how badly I want this work that she'd open up....still feel like she wants to communicate with me but is lacking the trust still....

maybe I should take my sisters and your guys advice and just cut the ropes and drift away.....

Maybe I should rent a convertible fill it full of roses drive across the country to her and tell her how I feel.....but even that....when it may show her how I really feel I dont think she will believe it and as angle says I think thats the problem