Cancer man testing the kinky (D/s) waters :)

Cancer man and I have been seeing each other exclusively for seven months. We’ve had sex many times, but we mutually put it on hold a few months ago until he’s ready for the feelings (love) that will come with it (I broke it off for a little while in January because he was running hot and cold, that stopped and he’s been amazing since). In the meantime, we have become VERY close, very emotionally intimate, and we still have very physically intimate moments usually twice a week (making out, heavy petting). Dirty talk is a big thing for us, and we trust each other 100% and are completely comfortable with each other.

All that being said, I was a little surprised when he started getting more adventurous with the dirty talk in recent weeks. A couple of weeks ago, he called me “my dirty girl.” I loved it. About a week ago, he whispered to me under his breath while we were flirting heavily (at a restaurant) that I was a dirty little slut. Stunned, but I loved it. Then last night, while we were groping each other, he called me a little whore. Again, shocked, but I loved it. However, this was a stretch for him and showed me how much he trusted that I would not only not judge him for it, but actually like it.

I’ve always had sub tendencies (given his cancer intuition, I’m pretty sure he picked up on that a while ago), but I’ve never been with a partner where I felt trusting and confident enough to fully explore it. Given these three instances (and he always tells me I’m a good girl after I orgasm, which he knows I love), it seems that he has some Dom tendencies that he’s finally feeling trusting enough with me to test out. I know cancers are super super sensitive, and while I know that it’s important to talk about these things, boundaries, limits, etc. when engaging in BDSM/degradation play, I don’t want him to feel awkward about it. Do any of you have experiences with cancers that are into this sort of thing? I just feel so comfortable with him and I really want to explore this, and make him feel as comfortable as possible.

Why would he feel awkward?

Posted by Wizardz_

Part of the excitement for him is exploring/releasing this side of himself so I wouldn't highlight it or refer to it. If you are excited by it too then it's sort of like the golden goose. Let it happen, one golden egg at a time, rather than confronting him and saying "so you want to be my Dom?" or you might end up causing too much stress

He is in the role of dominant so he should be the one to gradually ramp up the power dynamic which it sounds as if he is doing already... so I would say relax and as long as you are enjoying it then let him take control gradually at his own pace. It's highly psychological and there are a lot of guilt and morally tricky parts to negotiate, depending on what he is used to, what his upbringing was like etc. This can cause a lot of stress and end up in arguments. There is also the concept of "topping from the bottom" which is where you, as the submissive, end up trying to control things, for example, telling him to say this and not that etc. You said he calls you good girl after orgasming because HE knows you like that - this is a good sign

So what I am trying to say is there is a lot that could go wrong by you stepping up and trying to organise and control what is happening, when as the sub it is better for you to trust that he wants it to and he will make it happen at his own pace

Re: talking about safety limits, sure that is important but it doesn't sound that you are at a stage where that is necessary? and he is moving fairly slowly. I'm sure you will know when the time is right to discuss those matters. Sounds like you have great trust, which is the key to making it work. Take time to enjoy the journey and don't rush it

I have Cancer moon so I think I understand how sensitive a process it might be for him which is why I think it would be better if you let things take their course without any interference on your part

I can’t thank you enough for this advice! This is all new to me, so this is incredibly helpful, especially from a cancer perspective. I want to enjoy all of this in the best way possible.

Posted by alexscaries

There's a podcast and the guy on that is cancer and the woman is scorpio. I think it's called lovingbdsm.

Thank you!

Posted by DMV

Why would he feel awkward?

I have no idea, that’s why I’m asking. I guess maybe because exposing a kink makes you vulnerable?

Posted by alexscaries

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by DMV

Why would he feel awkward?

I have no idea, that’s why I’m asking. I guess maybe because exposing a kink makes you vulnerable?

Sure does. A huge factor depends what you are into.

click to expand

Oh God, I feel so boring. No kinks that I can think of 😔

Ask to tie him up and see what he says 😂

What sign are you op?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Ask to tie him up and see what he says 😂

What sign are you op?

Libra sun, Aqua moon 😊

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

click to expand

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

click to expand

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

Moon in Virgo, Venus in Gemini

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

click to expand

Mars in Sag

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

click to expand

Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true for my Leo ex. He was a lazy lover and I had to take charge most of the time. He would initiate and sit back and enjoy.

I have a mars in Leo. In the beginning, it was hot. Not gonna lie. But then it fizzled out. I think Leo’s go hot and then crash and burn.

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

Moon in Virgo, Venus in Gemini

click to expand

Not shocked at Venus in Gem. Where is the mars?

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true for my Leo ex. He was a lazy lover and I had to take charge most of the time. He would initiate and sit back and enjoy.

I have a mars in Leo. In the beginning, it was hot. Not gonna lie. But then it fizzled out. I think Leo’s go hot and then crash and burn.

click to expand

Mars in Leo crashing and burning? That happens when they are no longer into someone otherwise their sexual libido is strong. Leo needs romance. Leo mercuries are the biggest fantasists. Leo Venus and mars need romantic to show you their fire.

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

Moon in Virgo, Venus in Gemini

Not shocked at Venus in Gem. Where is the mars?

click to expand

Mars in Sag

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true for my Leo ex. He was a lazy lover and I had to take charge most of the time. He would initiate and sit back and enjoy.

I have a mars in Leo. In the beginning, it was hot. Not gonna lie. But then it fizzled out. I think Leo’s go hot and then crash and burn.

Mars in Leo crashing and burning? That happens when they are no longer into someone otherwise their sexual libido is strong. Leo needs romance. Leo mercuries are the biggest fantasists. Leo Venus and mars need romantic to show you their fire.

click to expand

Well, I cooled off because he wouldn’t communicate and commit. I have venus in Cancer and emotional needs too, not just sexual ones.

I think he took it hard that I refused sex and to give him attention. He has venus in Virgo, mars in Capricorn.

It’s too bad our romance is dead. Alas, life goes on.

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true for my Leo ex. He was a lazy lover and I had to take charge most of the time. He would initiate and sit back and enjoy.

I have a mars in Leo. In the beginning, it was hot. Not gonna lie. But then it fizzled out. I think Leo’s go hot and then crash and burn.

Mars in Leo crashing and burning? That happens when they are no longer into someone otherwise their sexual libido is strong. Leo needs romance. Leo mercuries are the biggest fantasists. Leo Venus and mars need romantic to show you their fire.

click to expand

Well, I cooled off because he wouldn’t communicate and commit. I have venus in Cancer and emotional needs too, not just sexual ones.

I think he took it hard that I refused sex and to give him attention. He has venus in Virgo, mars in Capricorn.

It’s too bad our romance is dead. Alas, life goes on.

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true for my Leo ex. He was a lazy lover and I had to take charge most of the time. He would initiate and sit back and enjoy.

I have a mars in Leo. In the beginning, it was hot. Not gonna lie. But then it fizzled out. I think Leo’s go hot and then crash and burn.

Mars in Leo crashing and burning? That happens when they are no longer into someone otherwise their sexual libido is strong. Leo needs romance. Leo mercuries are the biggest fantasists. Leo Venus and mars need romantic to show you their fire.

Well, I cooled off because he wouldn’t communicate and commit. I have venus in Cancer and emotional needs too, not just sexual ones.

I think he took it hard that I refused sex and to give him attention. He has venus in Virgo, mars in Capricorn.

It’s too bad our romance is dead. Alas, life goes on.

click to expand

I dated a double earth sign in venus and mars. In fact he was mars and Virgo is Venus. I didn’t know astrology in depth back then. He was such a Negative Nancy, which was such a mood killer. Venus in Virgo is is detriment. The most unromantic Venus and this coming from Aqua stellium. I’d say I’m more romantic than them. Their love language just won’t gel with most people.

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by borednbeautiful

Posted by aquarius09

This Cancer dude’s Venus is Virgo? Mars in Cap by any chance?

What about Mars in Cap? My ex Leo had that placement.

Take charge in bed kinda guys and the kink is off the charts. They match very well with Mars in Sag.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t ring true for my Leo ex. He was a lazy lover and I had to take charge most of the time. He would initiate and sit back and enjoy.

I have a mars in Leo. In the beginning, it was hot. Not gonna lie. But then it fizzled out. I think Leo’s go hot and then crash and burn.

Mars in Leo crashing and burning? That happens when they are no longer into someone otherwise their sexual libido is strong. Leo needs romance. Leo mercuries are the biggest fantasists. Leo Venus and mars need romantic to show you their fire.

Well, I cooled off because he wouldn’t communicate and commit. I have venus in Cancer and emotional needs too, not just sexual ones.

I think he took it hard that I refused sex and to give him attention. He has venus in Virgo, mars in Capricorn.

It’s too bad our romance is dead. Alas, life goes on.

I dated a double earth sign in venus and mars. In fact he was mars and Virgo is Venus. I didn’t know astrology in depth back then. He was such a Negative Nancy, which was such a mood killer. Venus in Virgo is is detriment. The most unromantic Venus and this coming from Aqua stellium. I’d say I’m more romantic than them. Their love language just won’t gel with most people.

click to expand

Gurllll!!!! 😸

That describes him perfectly. He was very robotic and just unemotional. His cap mars made him work, work, work, work, work. On top of that, he was into material things. Yet he was religious too. Just an odd mix of everything. We don’t even talk anymore but I know he’s still single.