Cancer sensitivity (Page 2)

Posted by LittleFairy
It's either you that's the problem ..or her. I dunno which ..but if it's her leave. If it's you she will leave you.

Peace.

you know what, i love her so much i'm willing to go through everything that i am going through with her right now. i just want to know what to do. i'm actually going to propose to her the next time we meet and we're okay. hope she says yes.

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by LittleFairy
It's either you that's the problem ..or her. I dunno which ..but if it's her leave. If it's you she will leave you.

Peace.

you know what, i love her so much i'm willing to go through everything that i am going through with her right now. i just want to know what to do. i'm actually going to propose to her the next time we meet and we're okay. hope she says yes.

click to expand

I think it’s so great that you feel that way about her... but you two definitely have some work to do. Don’t jump into something (i.e. marriage) in hopes of magically fixing your relationship. Your relationship needs to be more than ‘okay’ for that to even be an option. Just my opinion.

I’m super sensitive, but aware of it. My partner tends to hurt my feelings all the time without even knowing it, and I’ve just gotten to the point where I can acknowledge it and talk about that calmly. He and I are going through a difficult time in our relationship and if he were to propose to me any time soon, I’d think he’s nuts. He actually had already bought me a ring and kept trying to call it an engagement ring. As nice as that sounded, I was sensible enough to say that we really needed to work on our communication and us in general before any of that marriage stuff.

Posted by cancergirrrl

Posted by scorpio04

Posted by LittleFairy
It's either you that's the problem ..or her. I dunno which ..but if it's her leave. If it's you she will leave you.

Peace.

you know what, i love her so much i'm willing to go through everything that i am going through with her right now. i just want to know what to do. i'm actually going to propose to her the next time we meet and we're okay. hope she says yes.

I think it’s so great that you feel that way about her... but you two definitely have some work to do. Don’t jump into something (i.e. marriage) in hopes of magically fixing your relationship. Your relationship needs to be more than ‘okay’ for that to even be an option. Just my opinion.

I’m super sensitive, but aware of it. My partner tends to hurt my feelings all the time without even knowing it, and I’ve just gotten to the point where I can acknowledge it and talk about that calmly. He and I are going through a difficult time in our relationship and if he were to propose to me any time soon, I’d think he’s nuts. He actually had already bought me a ring and kept trying to call it an engagement ring. As nice as that sounded, I was sensible enough to say that we really needed to work on our communication and us in general before any of that marriage stuff.

click to expand

oh okay...so we'll talk about things first before i propose. thanks for that. i actually wanted to propose as early as i can. i've been wanting to do it since june 2015...we just can't find the right moment.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by scorpio04
i am in a relationship with a cancer woman and she is super sensitive to me (the slightest thing that i say/do hurts her even if i was just being honest with her).

Can you give an example of something you did or said that hurt her?

click to expand

okay

1. when i say/do something that she perceives as arrogant = she retaliates

2. when i say something about things that she does/say that seems to be the opposite/critical of it

e.g. she runs. when i say something not positive about running, she get's hurt.

like when i said "it's (running) not my thing" and "it's not fun" (when i actually ran) = she retaliates



right now what i am currently learning from her are the specific topics she is sensitive about.

like:

1. running - i can't say anything negative about it/if i have something negative to say about it might as well not say it at all...

every time i notice that she gets hurt by what i say about a specific topic, i just add it to the list of not to say anything if what i will say is something negative about it next time...

unless it's important. like it's for her own good. i have to say it even if i am aware that she will be hurt if i say it and will retaliate to me. she has to hear it.

Posted by NotInterested
I dont have much personal experience with Cancers to say. But my sister has a Cancer moon and Mercury & has her Sun in the 4th house and is Cancer dominant. She is very sensitive. You have to be very careful what you say to her. Ive learned to deal with her. She gets moody A LOT especially in the mornings and night when she's getting ready. I let her talk to me 1st and I dont talk to her unless she talks to me. It works out fine. I dont have problems getting along with my sister. I am quite tactful with what I say because anything you say in a wrong way could offend her. Of course in your instance it's a bit different since it's a romantic relationship. Really, in my opinion, if you say things that easily hurt her maybe youre not suited for her. You probably need a partner is thicker skinned and can understand and appreciate your honesty. & know you mean well. She probably needs a man that is more tactful. Of course give it a go, but if you guys cant be yourselves around eachother it isn't good. Have you tried to sit and talk with her about how you felt? That you dont mean to hurt her feelings with your honesty? A relationship should have good communication, if you guys cant talk over your issues and feelings then how do you think you will last?

"I let her talk to me 1st and I dont talk to her unless she talks to me. It works out fine"

--- i'm an introvert so i don't talk much, but i have read that cancers do not initiate so i have to initiate things --- like initiate a conversation. i did not know that before so there were times before that i was waiting for her to open up to me but she never did, until i read that i have to be one to initiate the conversation.

"Have you tried to sit and talk with her about how you felt? That you dont mean to hurt her feelings with your honesty?"

--- not yet...we've never had this issue before...it just started to happen last year. and at first i didn't knew what was going on, so i figure it out first (made me realize that she was even more sensitive to me now than ever before)

thanks for your story about your sister.