Cancer Woman, Taurus Man, LOVE/HATE relationship

Any Cancers on here have this same problem with a Bull? Or, if you have a relationship with a BULL and it's going GOOD, TELL ME YOUR SECRET. PLEASE!!??

I have been 'with' one for about 3.5 yrs, and we aren't TOGETHER, but when we give each other the silent treatment after a fight, we can't stand to be apart and one of us contacts the other and we are friends again.

Yes, we have been intimate many times over these 3 yrs, and at times while we are single ( not dating other people)I go running to him. But when he goes silent, I get worried. I have learned to leave him alone, but after a few days he contacts me with some silly email to "check" to see if I will respond, thus being still his "friend" I guess in his mind.

All that to say, he has professed his love for me several times but isn't wiling to get into any kind of relationship with anyone b/c he has no real job and isnt happy with his life. Does that also make him so aloof at times??

Any and all advice is welcomed!

Posted by thomas1214
I have been 'with' one for about 3.5 yrs, and we aren't TOGETHER,

you said it yourself. you both are pretty much doing a friends with benefits thing just to the next level. it's like a half assed relationship

Bingo.

@ KittyKnitter- YOU ROCK!!! Such great insight, I will def PM you!

@ Thomas1214 - It's half assed b/c of HIS issues right now...not b/c I don't want him for keeps!

@ ScorpioFish - 😢

My sister and her husband are this combo. I think the trick is talking things out and the fact that he promised her he'd never walk away from a conversation. I know that having the lines of communication open whether he likes what she has to say or not is very reassuring to her. The silent treatment is just not an option.

I have been chased by ones for years but I just let him chase cause he is an avid womanizer with women constantly throwing themselves at him and i will never be his conquest.

With that being said, he is tagging you along. I can understand him not being satisfied with himself financially but clearly that doesn't matter to you and you still like him for him.

The thing is he comes back because you give him what he wants, sex with none of the responsibility attached. You accepted his reason for not committing.

I would say cut the sex and go find a guy that really wants you all encompassing and stop accepting things on his terms.

All good advice, certainly something to ponder...keep it coming folks!! 😉

Well there you have. you made you mind up. whatever floats your boat.

Posted by KittyKnitter
If you think he is with you just for sex, then that is different. As for finding a guy who will give you a commitment, if you want to leave him behind and move on, then you don't love him enough to work through this. If another guy can fill his place then he is not the one for you. If you cannot deal with this, how would you be able to handle a life of ups and downs? The reality is life sucks sometimes. Sometimes the only good in our lives are the people we choose to have in it. Circumstances can change more quickly than feelings.

BRAVA!! BRAVA!! Well said Kitty!! As soooooon as I get a full hour to myself I want to write you back via PM and pick your brain more!!

I think I may need hypno-therapy to help me deal with this BULL!!!
I cant quit him...

UGH!😢

Posted by treefrogster
if he has issues now, you might want to stop the sex and just be there for him as a friend.

his issues aren't going to go away if he's distracted.

once his issues are sorted out, you two should talk one-on-one on where this relationship is going.

i know this is gonna sound random but i like ur avatar i was listening to micheal jackson bille jean it looked like it was dancing lmfao.

its my aqua aspects that make me weird but i keep it real lmao.

Posted by KittyKnitter
yup, taurus men with cancer venus or cancer moon are definitely hard on the head as well as the heart. not for faint-hearted woman, lol. needs a strong confident woman in his life, someone who knows when to bend and when to stand her ground.

Funny, b/c he told me back when we used to fight a lot ( before I read up on Bulls then changed the way I dealt with him) how much he hates a pushover...and I think the attraction is based in the fact that he knows if I don't like something, I let it be known. He may disagree with me too, but if we can't find a compromise, we agree to disagree and move on. I don't dwell on b/s I can't control or change, like someone's opinion.

Posted by piranhaparadiise
my brother is a Taurus and he always has issues but that never stops him from having or being in a relationship...he would move heaven and earth for a woman regardless if he is inbetween jobs or stressed...

if a guy can hang with you and have sex with you he can have a relationship with you too...the fact after 3.5 years he doesn't want one tell yous you aren't that special...you aren't the one...

Posted by Cancergurl1

Yes, we have been intimate many times over these 3 yrs, and at times while we are single ( not dating other people)I go running to him. But when he goes silent, I get worried. I have learned to leave him alone, but after a few days he contacts me with some silly email to "check" to see if I will respond, thus being still his "friend" I guess in his mind.

he has you right where he wants you...how lovely for a man to just sit back make no effort and the woman just accept this silent treatment as normal ...it's not...and it shows little respect to you...of course he contacts you he is missing the *attention* ...stop giving it to him....stop giving him the luxury of a fwb...if you are not content in being in one...because what it shows is he has you on tap...truth...

click to expand

Hmmm, but if I'm the only on allowing him to come/go as he pleases, then doesn't that stand out as special to him? Ask your brother if he prefers to chase, or have it come to him...I bet his preference would be the latter...

Posted by ellessque

Posted by Cancergurl1
@ Thomas1214 - It's half assed b/c of HIS issues right now...not b/c I don't want him for keeps!

no dear, it's half assed because you are perfectly content with half assed.

don't you think you deserve a little more than that?

click to expand

I do. BUT, when I meet other guys, within a week or 2 they are ghost...Either I'm too much for them or not enough. I don't believe in having sex on the first date or the first meeting. These men in my city do! They range in age also, from 28-48 I can't tell you how many men I've tried to date, and b/c I tend to be demure and a lil flirty, they get all worked up and try to hit on me. I say no, and then I never get calls back or a 2nd date. I USED to take that to heart, but now I'm proud of it! If they can't wait and get to know me and deserve/earn the gift of sex from me, then they can leave me alone for good...I prefer it that way.

If you have a bull who keeps coming back just count your luck! Lucky lucky you! 🙂

Taurus needs stability and that is what they find in their jobs. It seems that if the job isnt stable they are not happy with themselves. This is probably why he is in and out of your life. It is a type of self esteem. I am guessing the mind set is " I have no job im not stable or good enough at the moment. Will wait till the timing is perfect in my life to make serious plans with so and so." Let me know if I am wrong, this is just an opinion/hypothesis of mine.

Posted by emeralddream
If you have a bull who keeps coming back just count your luck! Lucky lucky you! 🙂

Taurus needs stability and that is what they find in their jobs. It seems that if the job isnt stable they are not happy with themselves. This is probably why he is in and out of your life. It is a type of self esteem. I am guessing the mind set is " I have no job im not stable or good enough at the moment. Will wait till the timing is perfect in my life to make serious plans with so and so." Let me know if I am wrong, this is just an opinion/hypothesis of mine.

There is much truth to that I believe. He's not stable and hasn't been for a while. If he accepts anything from me, then he starts ranting how now he feels "obligated" to me and has returned gifts to me in the past. He will accept a meal w/o a blink of an eye! I made dinner some weeks back, and he ate it quickly and quietly and I also made him a pan of lasagna and he never mentioned it, but when I asked told me he ate it the night I gave it to him and would return the pan when he can....Lazy Bastard!!