Cancers and How to Read Them

Alright, I need all the help I can get - I'm falling semi-hard for this particular Cancer friend of mine who I also dated years ago...and I was wondering if there are any definite telltale Cancerian things that he will do that will make it clear what his feelings are for me (other than just saying what they are). It's really difficult, because I'm probably somewhat hard to read also, being a Scorpio, but in a way I think Scorpios are a bit more straightforward than Cancers, even though neither sign is particularly fond of blabbing about what their feelings are to the face of the object of their affection. I can say that I *feel* that his feelings are a bit more than just friendly toward me, but I don't know for sure and I'm not ready to just ask him.

He definitely does the looking into my eyes thing, and it's definitely intense, but what if I'm just misreading him looking at me? lol...dammit, I need help.

You seem to be an energetic type, and intellegent. When one is "in the mood" and they kind of know what trips your trigger, it could be easy to light your fire! What was your past relationship like? Most of the Cancers I have known, were kind of the controlling types. Is he? Do you want what his personality has to offer or is this a "I know how he was and I would like some of that real bad, again"! What was the reason you quit dating last time? When you dated before, what were the compliments he gave you, other than you are apparently in nice shape ? Did he like your energy, both physical(I am sure you are!)and mental? Besides the intense look(could he be reminiscing—)does he offer any compliments or invite you out for a break or dinner or some type of activity? How many years ago? Do you both hang out with the same crowd? Any same friends? Is he the jealous type? I am thinking you might be, under the right circumstances. Who is more outgoing? If he is, I would expect him to tell you his intentions or even wants, however, beings how you already dated, and have some intimate knowledge(I am guessing)Why cant you ask him what he is up to? Or what would he do if he had the chance? Or ask him to stop and have a coffee after work with you and a friend, who just happens to remember she has to go right after you guys sit down? You will have the perfect opportunity to "jokingly ask him who or what he has been up to" which if he is seriously thinking"I want you" chances are, with no one around, he will feel brave enough to tell you the truth! Maybe he wants to get seriously naked, or seriously honest and tell you what ever your dream come true is. I try to look at it this way,. . .expect the worst and the least out of him, and when it is more than that, you will definitely be happy, or close to it, . . what is the worst that can happen? You got to take a chance! Oh and by the way, your profile and choice of picture, are very thought provoking! But then, you really like to provoke thoughts in everyone around you, dont you? This guy likes what he sees, and I could say more, but, I would not want to sound like a stinker, . . . who knows, maybe he will put you in "The Land of Fantasy" for a night or two or . . . . I got to be careful, I am getting too brave, . . .but, . . do you at least remember how he kissed or if he "knew what he was doing"—————

careful pheonix, dont make it to easy. this guy has a girl back home? would u like to be her while hes here kissing u? im not trying to bring u down just be careful.

Polaris, thanx for the compliments. You're a great new addition to the boards, I'm glad ya came! And if I'm energetic and intelligent (again, thank you), it takes an energetic and intelligent person to know an energetic and intelligent person.

Thanks also to cj7 - I did try to keep this in mind, while he was here. That is...until he basically told me that their "relationship" (which isn't one) is so incredibly casual and not committed, that he basically does what he wants and she does what she wants. He also semi-expressed to me his dissatisfaction with the whole situation, with her; that it was just too vague and weird and undefinable.

Now, to answer Polaris's questions (which are good, I hadn't even thought of lots of them):

-My past relationship with him was when we were fifteen and sixteen, so we were both very different people then, obviously less mature (especially him, it was amazing to see what a man he's become). Neither of us can remember specifically why we broke up, which I think is rather funny...lol...it just wasn't going anywhere really, and he was going to be moving anyway, etc etc. But I know there was also some kind of little fight preceding it, I just can't remember what it was about, and neither can he. He did, however, remember how we sort of started things up, whereas I did not remember exactly. He said...(paraphrasing, but as close to verbatim as I can get) "You had this friend who was in Home Ec with me, and I told her that I liked you. So she told someone else, and you found out from that person. You told that person that you also liked me, and that person told your friend, who told me. So I found out that you liked me too." lol. Very high school (but still cute, I think). I developed a crush on him from afar at first - he sat on the opposite side of the classroom as me - and we'd do the lookie-lookie thing. And then somehow, we started choosing each other as partners to work on math together...and he'd pull up a desk next to mine, and we did that many times. And "it grew from there"...I know, how cliche. lol!

We had a mutual friend who was also a Cancer and the three of us were very good friends for quite awhile, and we'd go and have lunch every day at either of their houses. And my Cancer ex would cook for us, etc...he's always been that way, very much a caretaker type. One of the reasons I liked him so much, he was just so sweet, but without being wimpy about it. 😛

-The first compliment I remember him giving me: "Your eyes are so beautiful", he said. It was after class, at the bike racks. 😛 You asked what other compliments...well, interestingly (awesomely, if that's a word) he pretty much gave me the same compliment while he was here, except he said it differently, he said something like, "your eyes are just {insert some kind of hand gesture}...ahhh." lol. He also told me, when he first saw me, "damn, you are beautiful baby". lol, it sounds much more like a come-on in writing than it did coming from his lips...the way he said it was very gentle and sweet.

-You asked whether he is controlling. Well, it's an interesting thing about him...on the one hand, he is very sweet and gentle, but on the other hand, he openly admitted that in relationships he ends up being the more dominant in the couple. He said he likes to be the one driving, the one who organizes outings, stuff like that. Which kind of suprised me, but in a good way. Cancer guys, I have noticed, tend to be (usually, but not always) a very good balance of soft and strong. Strong in all the right ways, but still soft in all the right ways. He is a teensy bit jealous, but in a cute way...I'm not sure if I ever gave him cause to be jealous about anything, but he did show a little bit of "something" that I can't put my finger on, on at least one occasion while he was here...he asked me about other guys I've dated and was particularly interested in finding out w

PhoenixRising, . . . I like knowing such intimate details of such interesting people. Are you not the Bird of Fire, Flames trailing behind her as you fly with tremendous speed, going up and up — Never saw the Phoenix land, but loved seeing her fly ! Anyway, thank you for sharing, even after you been officially MIA for quite a while. I am saddened by your frank talk of your friend. I tend to wonder if fate dealt you a cruel blow, or if it is the shape of better things to come. . . you are so obviously smitten with him. If he is now gone, and you are missing him so bad already, . . .I do know that feeling. I met a girl long time ago, and it was funny. We wrote by long distance, and we never got physical, not that we did not want to, but, I was afraid of ruining something special between us, and when I watched her drive away to go back to her home state, I spent months trying to determine if I had made a mistake or what . . . . Now, I like to think I did the right thing, but, . . . the stinker part of me wishes I had maybe considered other alternatives, . . . OH Well, . . .You know if you are a regular Scorpio, like the women I have known who I considered regular Scorpios. . .It was probably very hard for him not to figure out a way to make things a little more interesting and possibly add to some very good wild memories, etc. I am trying to figure out if you are glad you did what you did, or not. Life sure does get complicated some times, dont it? You just need to kick back, have a few of your favorite attitude adjusters with some friends, and quit thinking for a night. Maybe you already did !!! Hope you have a nice holiday, and try to just remember the fun times for a while. . . . . . I wish I could say something to make you happy, . . . At least you have some excellant memories to store away. Things could be a lot worse, but, then that is so true for us all. You need to maybe forget reality for a day or two, jump into cyberspace with us, and expound on a wild fantasy or two. I think Scorpios are secretive when the need arises, but, they like fantasys like the rest of us. . . dont you think ?

And so it seems I am not the only one who suffers from insomnia. 😛

Having a good evening Polaris? I think I feel better after coming on back to dxpnet to let these things off of my chest, so to speak. Yes, I was MIA...but really only because I've been working annoyingly long shifts at work, and I've been really tired, too tired to write anything resembling how I really feel. I'm one of those..."if you can't say something well, or the way you mean to say it, don't talk at all". lol. Not that I always meet this standard I've set for m'self...😛

Indeed, I am this Bird of Fire you speak of. Actually, what I really am is somewhere in between the stages of Scorpion and Phoenix...and I'm sure I've still got a long way to go before I reach that highest of levels possible for a scorp. I try to keep the imagery in mind, though. It's something to reach for. (Coincidentally - how weird is this - my Cancer friend got a tattoo of a phoenix rising from the flames while he was here. He amazes me...and it's a really well done tattoo!)

"I tend to wonder if fate dealt you a cruel blow, or if it is the shape of better things to come. . . " I wonder the same. I've been thinking about that constantly for the last couple of weeks. It's exciting though, on the positive side. You really never know what could happen. (Notice how I'm looking for that silver lining? 🙂)

Thanks very much for sharing your story with me, by the way - it does make me feel better. It also makes me wonder if maybe he's thinking about things like I'm thinking about things. It's funny...he's always teasing me, saying things like, "I can tell you're thinking right now. You're always thinking...". I think he thinks I think too much. I also think he worries that I worry too much, because he often says, "don't worry, you're too pretty to worry about anything". lol. I don't know why, but these statements crack me up. I always want to say, "how can you tell me not to ever worry about anything, when you're worrying over me worrying?" lol.

I am also trying to figure out if I'm glad we did, didn't or what have you. It really is a double-edged sword in either case - if we had, it would have been amazing, I have no doubt about that - but it would have been extremely difficult to have to say goodbye and then not see him for another whole year (who knows what could happen in a year's time..it'll take him that long before he can afford to come back, and it would take me twice as long before I could visit him there - he makes a lot more money than I do). But the fact that we didn't, means that I am (and maybe he is, too) thinking about what might have been...I suppose it comes down to "which is the worse of the two". Having trouble figuring that out, though...not even sure I want to know the answer, you know?

You know, I think I will have a couple attitude adjusters. lol. I have a really hard time being this revealing, though, with people in my everyday life (in fact, I am never as revealing as I am here on the boards, in my everyday life). I'm not sure what it is...

Have a great holiday yourself! And thanks for wishing me a good one. Don't worry...in a way, I'm happier than I've been in a long, long, long time - even at the same time as I'm feeling this melancholy about him being gone. I'm a very strange combination of ecstatic and morose.

Thanks so much for listening, I appreciate it.

Now, you say you've known some Scorpios...I hope you had positive experiences with them (we get such a bad rep, it's unfortunate). I would say I definitely feel like a "regular" Scorpio in the sense that I feel I have most of the traditional personality traits associated with the sign. However (a big however) - I have like five other planets in Libra in my chart, including (just the ones I can remember off the top of my head) my moon, my ascendant (rising sign)....crap, I can't remember the others.