For those who are Confused by Cancer Men!!

I responded to another thread, however after reading soo many about the same thing..."why do Cancer me just disappear/silent treatment?" I felt as a Cancer lady if was my due diligence to explain what is going on with those men, because I respond/react the same way as them. So, I hope this helps give some insight into a cancer woman/man intentions, it is not a "test" there is a reason behind the behavior. It has taken me up until my 30's to realize this about myself so you can imagine a male mind not being able to explain any of this lol. Anyway, here goes, please enjoy and feel free to ask me any questions 😄

"Cancer woman here, and I can tell you I have done the same thing in the past with men(disappear/ignore), however it is not a "test" it's because for some reason others just fall soo quickly for our charms and get too into us before we even have time to figure out what our feelings are. My best and LTRs were with men who took their time to know me/me know them without the pressures of dating, and I fell for them in a deep way by learning who they were and built a connection. So the problem here is you fell for this guy and now he feel that "pressure" and it stressed him out. What you need to do is completely back off and take a more casual approach like friends but interested. Stay sweet, independent and don't let him know how much you like him until he confirms his feelings. This will take TIME it is quality of course, but most importantly it is about QUANTITY of contact, a little here, a little there but over a long period (months) of time. For heavens sake don't contact him again until he contacts you whatever you do. And if/when he does just be sweet and casual, don't initiate seeing him. Good luck!"

Ah yes.
They need to feel secure so if they o dispear they arn denying you theyre consdering. its a chllenging move for thm.
If nything stick around in this phase so tht they trust you and see you are serious.
Cancers arent difficult if you look things like a slow transformation.
If you realy wait, your caterpillar friendship with bloom into a beautiful butterly.Never give up on them show unconditionl love nd i promise they will b around.

Also im sure its a water sign thing but as a pisces, and a being involved wih pisces scorpio n cncers, I notice a certin overwhelm. We disappear from all and every. Its to recharge. We need solitude so tht we can go out in th world ith our own emotions. Its like once we start feling other peoples vibrations, and pickin up on their feelings to the point it blends and gets lst in our own, we disappear into the shadows.

Posted by SuperMissMan
Also im sure its a water sign thing but as a pisces, and a being involved wih pisces scorpio n cncers, I notice a certin overwhelm. We disappear from all and every. Its to recharge. We need solitude so tht we can go out in th world ith our own emotions. Its like once we start feling other peoples vibrations, and pickin up on their feelings to the point it blends and gets lst in our own, we disappear into the shadows.

Soo tue SuperMissMan^^^ Our own emotions are so deep and debilitating sometimes, how can we possibly take on others as well? it's just too much, waaaay too much to handle 😢 That's why we can't process profound emotions soo soon, we need time. So if you like a Cancer, don't profess your "love" so soon, take your time. Think of it like this....we are not a shot, or mixed drink you can just drink quickly. noo we are like a fine wine you must sip slowly and enjoy (preferably with a delicious meal) 😉

^Exactly

I disagree with you Moonbutter..I think they disappear because of some negative emotion that they are feeling (and is trying to process) that is somehow related to their significant other/friend or whoever. They feel some type a way and decide to withdraw and regain some confidence before reappearing again.

Posted by crabRiot
I disagree with you Moonbutter..I think they disappear because of some negative emotion that they are feeling (and is trying to process) that is somehow related to their significant other/friend or whoever. They feel some type a way and decide to withdraw and regain some confidence before reappearing again.

Yes, of course crabRiot! the negative emotion is exactly what I'm talking about...feeling too much pressure/stress, etc...

Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Posted by crabRiot
Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Agreed, but I was talking more along the lines of the beginnings of a romantic relationship before any connection/bond has formed for the Cancer partner. Often the Cancer male comes on strong, because he is just being his natural chivalrous self and sweeps the lady off her feet. The lady in turn falls for the guy in such a short time thinking "this guy is so into me, etc" because that was how the guy acted which portrayed that illusion. The guy freaks out when the girl professes her strong feelings because he's thinking, I don't know her that well...this is too much to handle right now.. And so he goes silent. Meanwhile the lady is wondering wtf happened and she starts pursuing/chasing the guy which just makes the guy more stressed and need space. Is this not accurate moon ladies? Please describe your own thoughts and experiences with this 🙂

How do Cancerians react when they've retreated for too long and the other person has moved on? Do they realise that they could lose that person?

Posted by liya-b
How do Cancerians react when they've retreated for too long and the other person has moved on? Do they realise that they could lose that person?

Good question liya-b..for me, if the "relationship" is new, with no significant bond formed, when I walk away I don't come back and no, I don't feel I lost that person. This is because in my mind there was nothing to have lost in the first place. Without a strong/deeper connection (only developed with time) you are simply seen as an acquaintance who can easily be replaced. The trick here is to never do anything that makes us disappear in the first place. There are exceptions of course, however I'm pretty sure this is the rule.

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by liya-b
How do Cancerians react when they've retreated for too long and the other person has moved on? Do they realise that they could lose that person?

Good question liya-b..for me, if the "relationship" is new, with no significant bond formed, when I walk away I don't come back and no, I don't feel I lost that person. This is because in my mind there was nothing to have lost in the first place. Without a strong/deeper connection (only developed with time) you are simply seen as an acquaintance who can easily be replaced. The trick here is to never do anything that makes us disappear in the first place. There are exceptions of course, however I'm pretty sure this is the rule.

click to expand

I'm not sure if you remember my thread here from a few months ago, I don't really wanna go in depth again but I'd known my "friend" for 5 years, I've moved cities and mutual attraction was revealed right before I left. When I approached the subject a week later he said (apparently influenced by his friend) "he just wanted to hook up". I left it at that, still trying to engage friendly talk every now and then, but I sensed he was taking a few steps back to think and deal with his career and I respected that...for 6 months. I've recently fully moved on and did that Scorpio thing of cutting all ties because I felt it necessary. I haven't heard from him since and I'm learning to move on.

But anyway, yeah my Venus in Cap respects the need for strong foundations and that's all I ever hear from Cancer men around me but this one relationship just doesn't sit well with me, especially considering he's a cancer sun and moon.

Posted by liya-b

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by liya-b
How do Cancerians react when they've retreated for too long and the other person has moved on? Do they realise that they could lose that person?

Good question liya-b..for me, if the "relationship" is new, with no significant bond formed, when I walk away I don't come back and no, I don't feel I lost that person. This is because in my mind there was nothing to have lost in the first place. Without a strong/deeper connection (only developed with time) you are simply seen as an acquaintance who can easily be replaced. The trick here is to never do anything that makes us disappear in the first place. There are exceptions of course, however I'm pretty sure this is the rule.

I'm not sure if you remember my thread here from a few months ago, I don't really wanna go in depth again but I'd known my "friend" for 5 years, I've moved cities and mutual attraction was revealed right before I left. When I approached the subject a week later he said (apparently influenced by his friend) "he just wanted to hook up". I left it at that, still trying to engage friendly talk every now and then, but I sensed he was taking a few steps back to think and deal with his career and I respected that...for 6 months. I've recently fully moved on and did that Scorpio thing of cutting all ties because I felt it necessary. I haven't heard from him since and I'm learning to move on.

But anyway, yeah my Venus in Cap respects the need for strong foundations and that's all I ever hear from Cancer men around me but this one relationship just doesn't sit well with me, especially considering he's a cancer sun and moon.

click to expand

Oh no, sorry not familiar with your thread...but what I'm talking about doesn't really apply to your situation. I feel maybe that could go either way. If you want closure or a chance with him, you will have to reach out...I don't think he will.

Posted by Moonbutter

Oh no, sorry not familiar with your thread...but what I'm talking about doesn't really apply to your situation. I feel maybe that could go either way. If you want closure or a chance with him, you will have to reach out...I don't think he will.

He still messages back from time to time so for a while I thought we could still be cool but I've done my best trying to reach out for little success so it's time I take a step back so I can reassess the situation and think straight again. I don't want him back anymore, I just don't want to hurt him in the process which is why I asked how they would react 🙂
Maybe I should've added context to my initial question, sorry!

Great thread very helpful! I've been dating a cancer for about 4 mos..sort of dating..we have rough patches where he has to process and stuff I get that, but he basically says he's still in love with his ex which is why he doesn't feel he can be involved, but he has tried to remain friends, made it very clear he cares for me.and has strong feelings for me (even a drunken love confession) ?? I've been very patient and am letting him sort it out but also trying to help move out of the past...I guess I'm just wondering..does it sound worth it? Like there is hope and potential for a future? There seems to be magic between us and we cant stay away..

Posted by crabRiot
Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Instead of making them ask what they did wrong, why not just come right out and say "this ticked me off and here is why" ?

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by liya-b
How do Cancerians react when they've retreated for too long and the other person has moved on? Do they realise that they could lose that person?

Good question liya-b..for me, if the "relationship" is new, with no significant bond formed, when I walk away I don't come back and no, I don't feel I lost that person. This is because in my mind there was nothing to have lost in the first place. Without a strong/deeper connection (only developed with time) you are simply seen as an acquaintance who can easily be replaced. The trick here is to never do anything that makes us disappear in the first place. There are exceptions of course, however I'm pretty sure this is the rule.

click to expand

Do you let people know what exactly would make people disappear or do you leave them to their own devices to figure it out?

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Great thread very helpful! I've been dating a cancer for about 4 mos..sort of dating..we have rough patches where he has to process and stuff I get that, but he basically says he's still in love with his ex which is why he doesn't feel he can be involved, but he has tried to remain friends, made it very clear he cares for me.and has strong feelings for me (even a drunken love confession) ?? I've been very patient and am letting him sort it out but also trying to help move out of the past...I guess I'm just wondering..does it sound worth it? Like there is hope and potential for a future? There seems to be magic between us and we cant stay away..

Thanks boxcarmirnta Now about your man...I need a bit more info, if not too intrusive. Have you guys been intimate? When you say sort of dating, do you mean more like a FWB or just hanging out with some handholding/makeouts sometimes? Also, did his ex break up with him? Do you know why they are not together? How old are you both? What are his placements/your placements?

Posted by truecap

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by liya-b
How do Cancerians react when they've retreated for too long and the other person has moved on? Do they realise that they could lose that person?

Good question liya-b..for me, if the "relationship" is new, with no significant bond formed, when I walk away I don't come back and no, I don't feel I lost that person. This is because in my mind there was nothing to have lost in the first place. Without a strong/deeper connection (only developed with time) you are simply seen as an acquaintance who can easily be replaced. The trick here is to never do anything that makes us disappear in the first place. There are exceptions of course, however I'm pretty sure this is the rule.

Do you let people know what exactly would make people disappear or do you leave them to their own devices to figure it out?

click to expand

You mean like a handbook on how to date a Cancer? haha Yeah, I warn guys I like to go slow and they just don't listen :/ Then they wonder why I disappear. Now if it is a serious dating relationship that is a bit different because now my feelings are involved which can get a bit tricky. This is where if something is done that hurts me(and I tell them what that is) I need my partner to understand what they did, why I feel a certain way about it and never do it again.

Hahaa^ umm perhaps ill pm ya the deets moonbutter

Ok I also need advice ........ Met mine 9months ago had a great 2 months together then felt him distance himself I questioned him and he said I work away all week and have my son wk ends you deserve better ‘
Told him I really liked him and wanted us to try it was a no no no move on !!
About 2 weeks later no contact he messages how are you —?? Wtf !! So we just chat as mates nothing more , then I get mixed messages what you doing such a date let's meet ...... We meet have a great date then he backs of again , basically this is how he's been up until 2 months ago !!
So we become really close as mates I supported him through a difficult time then I noticed he tailed off again suddenly , saw he was chatting on WA loads so I questioned do you like someone else ?? He denied it for a week and got stroppy and abrupt with me everyday , then admitted yes I'm chatting to another girl ..... Fuming I was told him how I felt and eventually said listen hope it works out for you ..... I left him to it !!
I went on holiday a few days later so into my holiday boom he texts how are you — Then a few days after that texts again , I return home he's texting non stop 🙈 telling me he misses me I'm stuck in his head and has no interest in the other girl !!
So after talking lots and after some drunken convos he tells me I have feelings for you !! He eventually let me meet his pride and joy his son ...... We met again few times after had a great time together we went shopping I cooked food we got on so well !!
After that he became even closer .......told me he missed me and thought about me non stop I was stuck in his head and it's annoying him !!
After a couple of weeks of not seeing each other I got pissed off because I felt I was really trying , I questioned what is this ? What are we ? Tell me how you feel ? He got angry and said I put to much pressure on him ...... Then his replies were I'm busy ,So me being straight up i kicked off and gave him grief !!
He then blocked me off WA. ¡ so I checked up in him from another phone he was online constant ¡
Anyway I questioned him he called me a stalker !!
After 2 weeks of asking his feelings for me and what is going on he would avoid the answer about feelings ...... Then he said iv never said I love you , ok but feelings ?? No reply .......now it's over !!

I question his feelings for me ....... He says nothing!!
What is this all about he's done this for 9 bloody months I felt so close to him the past 2 months now this crap again like we are strangers !! Is he a player am I best moving on ? It's so bloody hard when you develope feelings tho !! I can't do this much longer sick of the pull push thing

Ok do cancer ppl know straight away if they have feelings ? Why do they pull push ?
I don't get it ...... I know if like someone straight away and want to see them again !!
I couldn't mess someone around for 9months if I felt nothing for them it's just pointless ....... Someone please help me understand this crabby game —

Posted by Kodak375
Its like watching a group of college students high as fuck trying to put together a puzzle over here.

Haha, isn't it the same in every water sign thread though?

Posted by Kodak375
^^^^^
This up here. Ain't no Cancer man got time for all that. I didn't read it.

idk, I feel like the Cancer and Scorpio boards have a lot of those long elaborate stories because both signs can't communicate for shit and give mixed signals, etc.
They've read of the Cancer man archetype so they wonder why their man acted out so differently and they hope someone will listen to their stories as an illusion of closure.

Posted by Kodak375

Posted by liya-b

Posted by Kodak375
^^^^^
This up here. Ain't no Cancer man got time for all that. I didn't read it.

idk, I feel like the Cancer and Scorpio boards have a lot of those long elaborate stories because both signs can't communicate for shit and give mixed signals, etc.
They've read of the Cancer man archetype so they wonder why their man acted out so differently and they hope someone will listen to their stories as an illusion of closure.

You want to know the secret to communication with your cancer man?

click to expand

I know, I know, talk to him, etc. I've made the trip to his city five times in the past 2 months because I still have friends there and it felt like trying to catch a private meeting with the president. I don't have to justify myself and I've already removed myself from the situation but I see why a lending ear could be appreciated for people still stuck with a Cancer man-child.

Anyone who does this basically wants to have his cake and eat it too. Guys like the above are not meant for relationships - find someone who can empathize with you. Relationships are based on mutual love and respect. Anyone who is so selfish to back off because he is not willing to work towards relationship goals is not worth it.
As someone said - if someone shows you who they are believe them the first time! Even if he wants to return after all the analysis and pressure - dont take him back! You dont want to live your life holding onto a straw in a storm whike he takes his sweet time to sort out himself!!!

Thanks Kodak ‚ typical cancer man !!

Starry 22 was that reply to me ?? I'm confused by all these replies and messages 🙈

Posted by truecap

Posted by crabRiot
Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Instead of making them ask what they did wrong, why not just come right out and say "this ticked me off and here is why" ?

click to expand

Sometimes we're just in pain(still in pain even when we resurface and communicating with you) and we fear reliving that pain again so we stay quiet.Also,sometimes we're hoping that YOU would acknowledge that you have hurt us but that's where the problem lies because sometimes people don't even realise that they have hurt us and we just disappear.Also remember that Cancers hate confrontation of this kind as well.

@cft1101 - that was most certainly meant for you :-)

Crabriot - there is nothing wrong in hoping that the other person understands your pain. However, relationships are based on open communication. How is the other person going to know what pains you or what you are going through if you dont even tell them. Dont expect them to be mind readers.
Place yourself in the other persons shoes, if you were on the outside you would go crazy trying to determine what exactly is hurting your beloved. Why these games? How do you expect an open relationship if you are not willing to open yourself to them? Speak up and you may realize that it was just a small miscommunication. Relationships require that you make yourself vulnerable to the person whom you like/love.

Posted by Starry22
Crabriot - there is nothing wrong in hoping that the other person understands your pain. However, relationships are based on open communication. How is the other person going to know what pains you or what you are going through if you dont even tell them. Dont expect them to be mind readers.
Place yourself in the other persons shoes, if you were on the outside you would go crazy trying to determine what exactly is hurting your beloved. Why these games? How do you expect an open relationship if you are not willing to open yourself to them? Speak up and you may realize that it was just a small miscommunication. Relationships require that you make yourself vulnerable to the person whom you like/love.

I agree with you 10000% Starry22 but THATS the problem alot of Cancers have.We don't know how to be DIRECT so we just suffer in silence.
That's something I myself need to work on in relationships.

Thankyou starry 22

I'm totally head wrecked with him ...... Even one time he decided he would be honest and open with me because he has problems expressing his feelings emotions ...... But said I can't tell you on the phone or text you I have to email it ........ Basically told me yes I have feelings for you and what if this what if that —?? He's scared of being hurt and his son getting hurt !!

Right people be brutal with me he dosnt love me does he —

I've been hanging out with this cancer guy for about a year and a few months. it's still kinda awkward cause it was mainly sexual but he said he likes hanging out with me. I like him he's cool but I don't know if I'm attached because of lust or wat. he's really cool I'm highly attracted to him he makes me feel safe and warm when he knows I'm upset I try to do the same for him be he kinda stays to himself so I respect it. at first it was all about him I wanted to be with him and I knew he knew but I feel or see he's not interested in that way. so I try to keep my distance we recent had a talk to told him I wanted him he told me he didn't want to hurt me. so I'm trying my hardest to stay away but yet he's a cool guy so I don't want to ignore him. but recently all together this would be his 3rd time bringing another girl around while we hang out or he asks me to hang out .. we're mutual friends but it's awkward and I tense up I get somewat jealous but I hope it doesn't show. but I'm not going to fight for his attention cause he knows I'm loving so I keep my distance even more I chill to keep the vibes chill but it's restarted how he pulls that.. wat should I do with this one? should I just leave I told him I will never hurt him but I'm not trying to get hurt as well. so wat should I honestly do? like why does he do that if he knows how I feel?

@Cft1101 - he loves himself more than he loves you!

@Leogang - save yourself the heartache, he maybe interested and could be trying to make you jealous. Alternatively he mayve ensuring that you get the hint that hes just not interested. If you want him as your friend, swallow your pride and go with the flow. If you want more, which he is currently incapable of giving then move on. If he wants to be in your life, let him make the effort.

@Crabriot - i feel you and i most certainly wish you the best in overcoming this. Believe me I have been on the outside and had to ultimately give up just because I could no longet spend precious time figuring out what was going on in his mind. Now all he has is space!

Thanks starry 22 👠just needed advice ..... I will deffo move on from him !!
I deserve better

Sometimes us girls need a slap in the face to say wake the F UP ‚

Posted by Cft1101
Sometimes us girls need a slap in the face to say wake the F UP ‚

And Cancer men need a reality check 😉
I've seen too many of them flip-flopping around and keeping girls as options.

am I suppose to react I told him I don't like that. twice! and he still brought someone around? I left early and left them alone was I suppose to I mean just respecting myself if I don't feel comfortable I need to leave I feel

Posted by leogang
am I suppose to react I told him I don't like that. twice! and he still brought someone around? I left early and left them alone was I suppose to I mean just respecting myself if I don't feel comfortable I need to leave I feel

Leave if you want to leave. He knows how you feel, he's just being a dick at this point.

Posted by Kodak375

Posted by liya-b

Posted by Kodak375
Its like watching a group of college students high as fuck trying to put together a puzzle over here.

Haha, isn't it the same in every water sign thread though?

No. No. Absolutely Not. This is 10 females with square pegs standing over a circular hole.

click to expand

I'm afraid the only square peg is you Kodak, and it doesn't look like you will be finding that circular hole anytime soon...😛

Posted by liya-b

Posted by Kodak375
^^^^^
This up here. Ain't no Cancer man got time for all that. I didn't read it.

idk, I feel like the Cancer and Scorpio boards have a lot of those long elaborate stories because both signs can't communicate for shit and give mixed signals, etc.
They've read of the Cancer man archetype so they wonder why their man acted out so differently and they hope someone will listen to their stories as an illusion of closure.

click to expand

Just because we may not "communicate" in the way you like does not mean we are not effective. In fact, the best and most accurate communication is non-verbal anyway and we are superior at that 😄

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by liya-b

Posted by Kodak375
^^^^^
This up here. Ain't no Cancer man got time for all that. I didn't read it.

idk, I feel like the Cancer and Scorpio boards have a lot of those long elaborate stories because both signs can't communicate for shit and give mixed signals, etc.
They've read of the Cancer man archetype so they wonder why their man acted out so differently and they hope someone will listen to their stories as an illusion of closure.

Just because we may not "communicate" in the way you like does not mean we are not effective. In fact, the best and most accurate communication is non-verbal anyway and we are superior at that 😄

click to expand

haha, I'm actually the worst offender at lacking verbal communication, as a scorpio moon/mercury, venus in cap and mars in cancer, speaking about feelings is not my forte 😉
however I think it's important to meet and try to match the other person's communication system to better the relationship and I've noticed most people do it verbally to avoid mixed signals. Mind you, I'm also a Sadge sun/gemini rising so I always put whatever I wanna say pretty bluntly if it has to come to that.

Funnily enough, my non-verbal expression of affection didn't translate well towards my Cancer man, or maybe it did, I wouldn't know 😛

Posted by Cft1101
Ok do cancer ppl know straight away if they have feelings ? Why do they pull push ?
I don't get it ...... I know if like someone straight away and want to see them again !!
I couldn't mess someone around for 9months if I felt nothing for them it's just pointless ....... Someone please help me understand this crabby game —

For me, no. I thought my recent LTR was unattractive and I was not interested but he "flew under the radar" and just kept showing up at my place(he was friends with my roomy) and after months I started to like him. What I'm saying is we like to go slow, meaning no dating/relationship until we get to know you and like you. This takes TIME and the best way is to be friends first...no hooking up! That creates confusion and pressure.

Posted by Kodak375

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by Kodak375

Posted by liya-b

Posted by Kodak375
Its like watching a group of college students high as fuck trying to put together a puzzle over here.

Haha, isn't it the same in every water sign thread though?

No. No. Absolutely Not. This is 10 females with square pegs standing over a circular hole.

I'm afraid the only square peg is you Kodak, and it doesn't look like you will be finding that circular hole anytime soon...😛

Haha I concede that was a good one hun

click to expand

Haha thanks, I knew you would like that one 😉

Posted by crabRiot

Posted by truecap

Posted by crabRiot
Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Instead of making them ask what they did wrong, why not just come right out and say "this ticked me off and here is why" ?

Sometimes we're just in pain(still in pain even when we resurface and communicating with you) and we fear reliving that pain again so we stay quiet.Also,sometimes we're hoping that YOU would acknowledge that you have hurt us but that's where the problem lies because sometimes people don't even realise that they have hurt us and we just disappear.Also remember that Cancers hate confrontation of this kind as well.

click to expand

So instead of being clear, you suffer in silence. Someone won't know they hurt you unless you tell them. Otherwise if they don't know you won't get an apology and while resentment builds up, your relationships get ruined. And that's on you.take responsibility for your own feelings.

Aren't we the easiest sign to figure out?

Posted by truecap

Posted by crabRiot

Posted by truecap

Posted by crabRiot
Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Instead of making them ask what they did wrong, why not just come right out and say "this ticked me off and here is why" ?

Sometimes we're just in pain(still in pain even when we resurface and communicating with you) and we fear reliving that pain again so we stay quiet.Also,sometimes we're hoping that YOU would acknowledge that you have hurt us but that's where the problem lies because sometimes people don't even realise that they have hurt us and we just disappear.Also remember that Cancers hate confrontation of this kind as well.

So instead of being clear, you suffer in silence. Someone won't know they hurt you unless you tell them. Otherwise if they don't know you won't get an apology and while resentment builds up, your relationships get ruined. And that's on you.take responsibility for your own feelings.

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I think it's more along the lines of expecting others to have the same acknowledgement and sensitivity to others feelings, and when they don't it's just a disappointment. We do take responsibility but others should as well and realize how what and how they say effects others. I would say Cancers are the traditional romantics in every respect, from love to business. We know how to give respect and expect that from others. If it's too much to ask for then go back to the Minor Leagues.