For those who are Confused by Cancer Men!! (Page 2)

Posted by kalin
Hmmm this is an interesting thread. I came here because I just reconnected with a cancer guy I met last summer, about 10 months ago. We met when we volunteered on an organic farm. He got there 1 day before I did and he took initiatives talking to me and stuff and he liked to prank me too. We got really close just over 2 weeks. When we left the farm he gave me a long hug and told me he will miss me. I texted him after I got home (I lived 3-4 hours from the farm) but he just ignored me. I texted him again in a day or two he ignored me again so I decided that I should just leave him alone. I happened to see him on Facebook tonight so I said hi again, now 10 months after my last attempt to communicate. This time he said hi back with a smiley face. He chatted with me we catched up with each other he invited me to visit his country (he lives in Europe I'm in the U.S.) and said we should keep in touch etc... I guess "time" really matters. I'm not sure if he's going to "disappear" on me again but I guess he really didn't like any pressure. (I think he figured out I liked him when I texted him after I got home from the farm so he went silent. Now it's been a long time so he feel comfortable with me again.) I was really confused and thought I did something wrong back then. I feel i understand it better now that I read this thread. Thanks for the thread.

Posted by crabRiot
Okay.

I know when I disappear it's because of that reason EXACTLY!

They did or said something that made me feel"small" or hurt and I just take my leave.

Now in order for them to fix things they need to "talk things through with me and apologise".

In order to find out what they did wrong (if they don't already know) they need to ask DIRECT questions.
Don't dance around the issue or sweep it under the rug..Let's resolve it and move on..

By the way guys just think of me as a Cancer dude....I act just like them.

You don't have to baby them either. They're tougher than they let on.

Posted by Starry22
Crabriot - there is nothing wrong in hoping that the other person understands your pain. However, relationships are based on open communication. How is the other person going to know what pains you or what you are going through if you dont even tell them. Dont expect them to be mind readers.
Place yourself in the other persons shoes, if you were on the outside you would go crazy trying to determine what exactly is hurting your beloved. Why these games? How do you expect an open relationship if you are not willing to open yourself to them? Speak up and you may realize that it was just a small miscommunication. Relationships require that you make yourself vulnerable to the person whom you like/love.

Posted by Starry22
Relationships are based on mutual love and respect. Anyone who is so selfish to back off because he is not willing to work towards relationship goals is not worth it.
As someone said - if someone shows you who they are believe them the first time! Even if he wants to return after all the analysis and pressure - dont take him back! You dont want to live your life holding onto a straw in a storm whike he takes his sweet time to sort out himself-----





Starry22- you said this so well- doesn't matter the sign, or the gender.