Posted by KoniuchaaAsexual?
If your not ready, tell him to buzz off. Don't let someone talk you in to something your not ready to do.
You aren't ready for a reason
Posted by CrabraThank you for your advice. I'm quite okay with the sex thing, BUT, his feelings for me is quite push and pull and I'm confused af. If I give in for sex, I'm afraid that after that happened, he might leave me and disappear into thin air. Also, is sex the reason why he doesn't want to commit with me?
His feelings for you are likely stagnant until the sex happens. It's just how it goes. He would likely agree with me that sexual compatibility cannot be determined until you actually have sex, and this compatibility is quite important for many people.
I give him props. No way on this planet I would make it three months for anyone. Of course, I'm not telling you to just give it up, but you do have a decision to make. You may very well have to leave this guy for someone willing to put in the time if he is not the one to respect that.
He will be pissed, I assure you. It doesn't really matter, but just be prepared for it if that is your choice.
Posted by NINETYNINE
3 months is a long time.
This Cancer clearly wants to express his feelings for you.
Posted by bebeirishhPosted by CrabraThank you for your advice. I'm quite okay with the sex thing, BUT, his feelings for me is quite push and pull and I'm confused af. If I give in for sex, I'm afraid that after that happened, he might leave me and disappear into thin air. Also, is sex the reason why he doesn't want to commit with me?
His feelings for you are likely stagnant until the sex happens. It's just how it goes. He would likely agree with me that sexual compatibility cannot be determined until you actually have sex, and this compatibility is quite important for many people.
I give him props. No way on this planet I would make it three months for anyone. Of course, I'm not telling you to just give it up, but you do have a decision to make. You may very well have to leave this guy for someone willing to put in the time if he is not the one to respect that.
He will be pissed, I assure you. It doesn't really matter, but just be prepared for it if that is your choice.
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Posted by MoonbutterHe's 26 and i'm 24. I don't know why I'm still hanging out with him despite the fact that he doesn't exert any effort. Maybe i'm just challenged about his personality. He does give me a goodbye kiss. Sometimes holds my hand and compliments me.
How old is he? You want to be with someone whom makes no effort? Does he hold your hand, give you lil kisses? What does he say to you? Does he compliment you?
Posted by MissMI actually thought about that also. Maybe he's just dating me because I do all of the effort and he just needs to show up. That's why I don't want to give in to sex. But he says that he also invests time with me but shows no effort
If you are the one planning all the dates ect then I wouldn't bother, he seems like he's just hanging around cause your making all the effort and he doesn't have to do anything. He probs is just hoping to get laid in that case.
Posted by GC02
Are you all together or just friends?
Posted by CrabraI do all of the effort. And I feel like he's a user. Everytime we hangout, I am always the one initiating and planning everything. I even fetch him at work (because he doesn't have a car) and I also accompany him to his house. I feel like i'm the man in the relationship. He says that he's okay with this kind of status, as long as we're happy, there's no need for a label. Yet he wanted sex. I can't give it to him unless I know he is committed to me. And only to me. ?Posted by bebeirishhPosted by CrabraThank you for your advice. I'm quite okay with the sex thing, BUT, his feelings for me is quite push and pull and I'm confused af. If I give in for sex, I'm afraid that after that happened, he might leave me and disappear into thin air. Also, is sex the reason why he doesn't want to commit with me?
His feelings for you are likely stagnant until the sex happens. It's just how it goes. He would likely agree with me that sexual compatibility cannot be determined until you actually have sex, and this compatibility is quite important for many people.
I give him props. No way on this planet I would make it three months for anyone. Of course, I'm not telling you to just give it up, but you do have a decision to make. You may very well have to leave this guy for someone willing to put in the time if he is not the one to respect that.
He will be pissed, I assure you. It doesn't really matter, but just be prepared for it if that is your choice.
I'm not quite sure what you mean, "I'm quite ok with the sex thing." What about it are you ok with? I'm under the impression you are not ok with it, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.
From the outside looking in, this guy has spent three months with you despite there being no sexual intercourse. This is practically unheard of in an exclusive relationship. That deserves some merit that is for sure. That tells me this guy is super into you. However, it sounds like it is getting closer and closer to his limit. The hot/cold crap, passive aggressive behavior, and a whole host of other negative things will only get worse as his frustration grows.
I can't guarantee that he won't leave once you give him sex. However, I can guarantee he will if you don't. It is only a matter of when. I also should point out there really is no such thing as risk-free sex. There is reduced-risk sex, but that is about as far as it goes. I can also tell you that not many males would stick it out three months with someone if they want a one-and-done. There's a serious time investment there, and possibly emotional too. That's why I said he would get pissed if you bounce, because he never got to sleep with you.
Someone might come around and reply with something along the lines of, "My boyfriend and I didn't have sexual intercourse until after 6 months, or 1 year, or even until they were married." This is fine, but not only are these peeps in the extreme minority, it also isn't practical.
He's not going to ever commit to you fully until action happens under the sheets. He'll always be one foot in, one foot out. What is it that is keeping you from having sex with him?
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Posted by bebeirishhYou are correct.. you do everything he does nothing ... he has nothing to offer u except sex. Are you ok with that? He's just using you and complacent... he doesn't care. ? your gut and heart is telling you it's not right.Posted by CrabraI do all of the effort. And I feel like he's a user. Everytime we hangout, I am always the one initiating and planning everything. I even fetch him at work (because he doesn't have a car) and I also accompany him to his house. I feel like i'm the man in the relationship. He says that he's okay with this kind of status, as long as we're happy, there's no need for a label. Yet he wanted sex. I can't give it to him unless I know he is committed to me. And only to me. ?Posted by bebeirishhPosted by CrabraThank you for your advice. I'm quite okay with the sex thing, BUT, his feelings for me is quite push and pull and I'm confused af. If I give in for sex, I'm afraid that after that happened, he might leave me and disappear into thin air. Also, is sex the reason why he doesn't want to commit with me?
His feelings for you are likely stagnant until the sex happens. It's just how it goes. He would likely agree with me that sexual compatibility cannot be determined until you actually have sex, and this compatibility is quite important for many people.
I give him props. No way on this planet I would make it three months for anyone. Of course, I'm not telling you to just give it up, but you do have a decision to make. You may very well have to leave this guy for someone willing to put in the time if he is not the one to respect that.
He will be pissed, I assure you. It doesn't really matter, but just be prepared for it if that is your choice.
I'm not quite sure what you mean, "I'm quite ok with the sex thing." What about it are you ok with? I'm under the impression you are not ok with it, otherwise this thread wouldn't exist.
From the outside looking in, this guy has spent three months with you despite there being no sexual intercourse. This is practically unheard of in an exclusive relationship. That deserves some merit that is for sure. That tells me this guy is super into you. However, it sounds like it is getting closer and closer to his limit. The hot/cold crap, passive aggressive behavior, and a whole host of other negative things will only get worse as his frustration grows.
I can't guarantee that he won't leave once you give him sex. However, I can guarantee he will if you don't. It is only a matter of when. I also should point out there really is no such thing as risk-free sex. There is reduced-risk sex, but that is about as far as it goes. I can also tell you that not many males would stick it out three months with someone if they want a one-and-done. There's a serious time investment there, and possibly emotional too. That's why I said he would get pissed if you bounce, because he never got to sleep with you.
Someone might come around and reply with something along the lines of, "My boyfriend and I didn't have sexual intercourse until after 6 months, or 1 year, or even until they were married." This is fine, but not only are these peeps in the extreme minority, it also isn't practical.
He's not going to ever commit to you fully until action happens under the sheets. He'll always be one foot in, one foot out. What is it that is keeping you from having sex with him?
click to expand
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