How do I Proceed?

Im a Virgo man, 43 years old. Been married for 10 years, unhappily, and emotionally checked out for 3, now going through a divorce.

I've known a Cancer woman for 13 years. We now live in different states. We stayed in touch, and she has always dated scumbags. Now, we are both available, and I am trying to get her to come to me. She is so scarred and jaded that it is hard to get a read on her. One day, she's up for the idea, the next, she has cold feet.

How should I proceed without scaring her off? We are both damaged, and I think that the 2 of us together could be a beautiful thing. That's the story in a nutshell. If you need anymore details, just ask me.

Thanks!

Posted by Sept_Virgo
We now live in different states. Now, we are both available, and I am trying to get her to come to me.

Why does she have to come to you? Your the man aren't you? Go to her.

Posted by DivaCanLeo
what's your ex's sign?

Scorpio.

And, I just spent 15 years away from my home state, and moved back in 2015. I don't want to go where she is, plus the economy is about to explode here. And, she's told me how much she hates it there. I'll go get her and bring her here, but I'm not moving there.

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by Sept_Virgo

Posted by DivaCanLeo
what's your ex's sign?

Scorpio.

And, I just spent 15 years away from my home state, and moved back in 2015. I don't want to go where she is, plus the economy is about to explode here. And, she's told me how much she hates it there. I'll go get her and bring her here, but I'm not moving there.

okay, so why were you miserable with the scorpio? and what makes you think the cancer will be any better?

click to expand

Too much to explain. What makes you think any new relationship with a new person will be better?

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by Sept_Virgo

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by Sept_Virgo

Posted by DivaCanLeo
what's your ex's sign?

Scorpio.

And, I just spent 15 years away from my home state, and moved back in 2015. I don't want to go where she is, plus the economy is about to explode here. And, she's told me how much she hates it there. I'll go get her and bring her here, but I'm not moving there.

okay, so why were you miserable with the scorpio? and what makes you think the cancer will be any better?

Too much to explain. What makes you think any new relationship with a new person will be better?

Well because have you dealt with why your marriage failed?

cancer doesn't want to be the rebound chick

click to expand

Gotcha. Wasn't sure where you were going with that question. I've been through with the ex for a long time, and she won't be a rebound because of the fact that I've known her for so long.

Posted by tnmnt
The fact that you've known her for 13 years helps. She considers you as someone to rely on and maybe she's also been thinking about you "that way" for longer than you could guess.

But us Cancers - after several disappointments - can become very cold, numb even, and engage in a defeated view of relationships.

Depends on the person really, but I'm telling you it's going to require consistency & patience.

Be fun to be around. Make her feel needed, but don't be clingy. Show your vulnerabilities, but don't come off as weak.

This.

First, finalize your divorce, then go to her only if you truly care for her, not because you are feeling alone. Cancer women love whole-heartedly. Do not hurt her unless you know. Only do it if you mean it and go there if you do. Make her feel special.