Self-pitying cancer women

Is it common for cancer women to have a self-pitying, "woe-me" attitude all the time? You know, the victim card.

I spend a good amount of energy peptalking a cancer friend of mine out of her depressing episodes.

Sometimes I feel like she's milking it.

Just wondering if this is a common thing for cancers, especially the cancer females. It's draining.

I don't know if it's common.

I did have a very close cancer female friend that would bitch and moan constantly towards the end of our decade + long friendship. I stopped hanging out with her because the negativity was bringing me down. Also for other non related reasons.

Posted by LadyNeptune
I don't know if it's common.

I did have a very close cancer female friend that would bitch and moan constantly towards the end of our decade + long friendship. I stopped hanging out with her because the negativity was bringing me down. Also for other non related reasons.

Oh man, I can relate.

It really is draining to keep having to peptalk her and not get anywhere. The negativity latches onto me like a leech, and I just become frustrated. It almost seems like she's trying too hard just to get attention.

Posted by Thestargoddess

Posted by LadyNeptune
I don't know if it's common.

I did have a very close cancer female friend that would bitch and moan constantly towards the end of our decade + long friendship. I stopped hanging out with her because the negativity was bringing me down. Also for other non related reasons.

Oh man, I can relate.

It really is draining to keep having to peptalk her and not get anywhere. The negativity latches onto me like a leech, and I just become frustrated. It almost seems like she's trying too hard just to get attention.

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Its one thing to have a mutual bitch fest but if that's all she ever talks about it becomes too much. Of course it depends on what is making her negative. If she lost a relative or something of that nature then of course be sympathetic and stand by her as long as it takes.

My Virgo bestie and I would rather shoot guns in a field.

It happens but I dont think it's all that common, Cancer women handle it better than the cancer men. It's not really agreeable in our society to be an emotional male so you get a lot of repression until it bubbles over.

truthfully ...for people that I'm not close with ...I get a lot of complaints that I don't take assistance when needed ...or that I suffer in silence

people that I am CLOSE with ...I am told that I worry to much ...I personally think of the absolute worse scenario...and a panicked cancer is not fun to be around ....but the people that I am close with ..a pisces who helps me relax ...and virgo that calms me with a methodical plan ...I am very grateful for ...🙂

I don't know if it's a Cancer trait but a Cancer friend of mine always whines and cries but then refuses help.

Her dog ran off last week and she is understandably upset but when I suggested a local fb page that helps search for lost pets she whined that it was too hard. When I offered to help search she whined that it was too cold, when I suggested setting a humane trap she whined that she didn't have time.

This happens on a regular basis. She has a problem but refuses to put in any effort to fix it.

Posted by EnochtheWise

Posted by Thestargoddess
Is it common for cancer women to have a self-pitying, "woe-me" attitude all the time? You know, the victim card.

I spend a good amount of energy peptalking a cancer friend of mine out of her depressing episodes.

Sometimes I feel like she's milking it.

Just wondering if this is a common thing for cancers, especially the cancer females. It's draining.

I know a few that can get like this when they are very low. Actually, a lot of the time its around heightened feelings of not having anyone that is truly their friend, there for them, etc., when life gets really difficult. And the ones I know are always there for everyone through any/everything. I try to hang in there for them and not reinforce that belief that no one cares, because the ones I know will isolate themselves to such a degree that it is unhealthy, even from a Scorp POV. Plus it typically doesn't last forever.

I try to be there to listen, but also lift their moods. Make them laugh if at all possible. If you can force them to get out of the house, go out to a movie with them that will cheer them up, then talk afterwards. I find that comedy in particular is really helpful. Or even sharing music with them that is uplifting. If you feel like its too draining to always be around them or constantly lend an ear, then at least perform a kind gesture - drop off some food, send them something in writing to cheer them up, remind them of good times, etc. - so they know you really do care....if you actually do, that is.

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this is so sweet ....

Posted by Deedee86
I don't know if it's a Cancer trait but a Cancer friend of mine always whines and cries but then refuses help.

Her dog ran off last week and she us understandably upset but when I suggested a local fb page that helps search for lost pets she whined that it was too hard. When I offered to help search she whined that it was too cold, when I suggested setting a humane trap she whined that she didn't have time.

This happens on a regular basis. She has a problem but refuses to put in any effort to fix it.

^^^^^^

for me this would be very comforting to me ...you suggestion to help ...for me when I have a problem its not helpful just to say it will be okay ...I need to know HOW it will be okay ...and you offering 3 solid plans, one of which you help me yourself ...I would be so happy ...and I would remember forever ..how you were willing to go out of your way to help me 😄

Yeah I self pity I guess.

I just get so wound up in my own thoughts and emotions. It makes me come off self absorbed and I know this. So I always try to keep other's in mind and make sure it's not a one sided relationship. I try to worry about them as much as I worry about me.