I can't seem to get along with Cancer relative...

I try, I really try. I try to be considerate, I'm generous I go out of my to help out sometimes. Other than taking me out to lunch sometimes, I'm not particularly her cup of tea. She doesn't respect me and I don't live up to her standards, and if I have a differing opinion she tries to verbally bully me out them (she doesn't realize she's not making a dent). I tried but I feel like it's a lost cause. It doesn't matter if I'm "nice". I'm not liked.

She judges me for things like online forums or videos. I think she's narrow minded. (I do make sarcastic jokes which from time to time; that's all I can think of that makes her mad.)

I think she's bitter just towards me not in general. People usually love her. But I agree, I don't like to be nice only to be emotionally punched in the gut.

I hate the idea of treating her like a coworker but it has to be done (nice to her face but keep our interactions to minimum).

What also gets me is that I don't have a good relationship with ANYONE in my family because I flat out just stopped talking to them out of the blue. Well... I wish I had closer relationships with them but they treated me like the crap under their shoes. Other family members assume the problem is me.

What kind of relative? That sounds like a little sibling rivalry

Posted by VenusStar

What also gets me is that I don't have a good relationship with ANYONE in my family because I flat out just stopped talking to them out of the blue. Well... I wish I had closer relationships with them but they treated me like the crap under their shoes. Other family members assume the problem is me.

Here you mentioned "you don't have a good relationship with ANYONE in your family". Also, you mentioned "EVERYONE in your family has treated you like crap..."

There is no smoke without fire and it takes two to tango. Have you ever thought that maybe you're the one with the problem?

Just saying.

Well there you go.

@starchild63 - yes. @Zatte - I want to get along w/her but she makes it soooooo hard. She tries to be nice and caring to everyone and i'm no different. But with me I notice she'll say things to me that have an undertone of being angry and that i'm not important. Like I'm an acquaintance that she doesn't like but she's nice to me anyway (Disdain can only be held in for so long before it comes out).

examples (it's all petty which is why I don't want to hold a grudge, it's not worth it). I made a simple request she adamantly said no. someone else makes the exact same request a few hours later and she can't wait to say yes.

If she finds an item that belongs to a family member she will go out of her way to "protect it". If she finds an item belonging to me, she'll just throw it out. When I ask about the item her response will be "you don't use it".

I listen to her tell me about tv shows that I don't watch. I was going to tell her about a tv show and she yelled at me "i don't care about your tv show, I don't want to hear it"

I actually overheard her yell at someone and say "I'm no "VenusStar", don't pull that butter with me". I confronted her and she acted as if I were to blame.

I want to let bygones be bygones but I guess that's code to her for "kick me in the back"

@VirgoDragirl - They've all done something to me and then got really mad because I had to the nerve audacity to stand up for myself. I have a shitty family

General family attitude is "she's fine", "she'll do it for me, she doesn't mind", "what's hers is mine and what's mine is mine"

Maybe it's something in you that is causing these people to react like this. Maybe she's mirroring you. I don't really have enough information to dig in here. Maybe she's jealous of you and she uses you as her own personal emotional trashxan.

If you don't seem to have a good relationship with any of your family, why do you care about the relationship with her? What makes her different from your other siblings or family?

Posted by VenusStar
... General family attitude is "she's fine", "she'll do it for me, she doesn't mind", "what's hers is mine and what's mine is mine"

Sounds like my fam. I can tell stories.

No, it's just that for them "I'm going to piss you off and then tell you how pissed off to get".


Cancer realized what she did and her version of apologizing it trying to initiate conversation. I will converse with her but hold back because I don't want my feelings hurt. I think we need a break from each other.