relationship and finances

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by lovely77 on Thursday, January 28, 2016 and has 14 replies.

Profile picture of lovely77
@lovely77
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Are you obligated to help someone your dating vs a relationship vs a wife husband....whats the boundaries for each one. I feel a marriage u shoul do whatever to make them happy and a relationship is and can lead to marriage. Idk i feel in this era ppl want you to do so much and your only dating.

Profile picture of lovely77
@lovely77
10 Years1,000+ Posts

I love that response @scorpx3 some ppl make me feel bad 4 helpung others. I can be taking advantage of have to be cautious i guess ill leave it in gods hands and just do what i can. Your sweet i need more friends like u.

Profile picture of FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
11 Years10,000+ Posts

@OP- See the problem is when one family background may different than the other. My problem is my 7th house is Capricorn, so if we take that ltr route must know you both help each other mutually and benefits from one another. So I am very traditional upbringing and others are total opposite...I only know gender roles are supposed to regardless help each other out as much as possible. Idk what's your 7th house?

Profile picture of Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts

It depends on who and how they are, even if I wanted to help someone and I care.for them. Sometimes not helping is helping them more than being the solution to all their problems. It depends on the person, not the relationship.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Dating, hell no.

Relationship, hell no.

I don't ask you to pay my bills. Don't ask me to pay yours.

Never been married so can't speak much there. But I'd still like to keep separate accounts with maybe a joint account for shared expenses.

Profile picture of Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts

I would NEVER marry someone who can spend more money than they make nor I. I don't care how good looking, how good the D is, how nice they are. That just.shows me that they're going to work me/us into the ground, and for what!!

Profile picture of bawlikestogomoo
@bawlikestogomoo
13 Years1,000+ Posts

My last relationship, I had my gf co-sign for everything (car, apartment, etc). I was unemployed and the nice thing was that after we broke up, she was on the hook for everything.

Profile picture of TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
17 Years1,000+ Posts

It depends on the responsibility, integrity, and moral character of the individual (Family member, friend, boyfriend, husband).
It all applies.

I am a very generous individual, but I refuse to support individuals with Beer Budgets and Champagne Lifestyles.

They're vultures, and always in need.

However, for individuals who were laid off, had some emergency issues (ex, medical expenses, hardship, etc)....

Then I would give them the shirt off my back, and the very last cent I have (especially if this individual has a dedicated track record for being responsible).

I wish I was more like this when I was younger. Many people took advantage of my generosity. I would rarely question their motives, I would just assist them in need.

Now, in the present, Oh, gosh no!

Profile picture of duchesslibro
@duchesslibro
12 Years1,000+ Posts

I do not expect my husband to pay the debts I accumulated prior to our relationship. Student loans, credit cards, car loan, etc. Those things come out of what I allow myself for monthly spending money. It's never even been a discussion. I wouldn't even bring it to the table because I feel fully responsible for it.

Profile picture of blossombonnie
@blossombonnie
10 Years

in my opinion you are not obligated to do anything at the dating stage, however if you are looking to have a future with this person and the relationship had the potential I say do what it takes to build that stable empire