Retreating Cancers... Do they come back?

Cancers do that. They retreat into their shell to take stock of things, to evaluate and decide where their heart is. It can be 2 days (although this is too short), 5 days, 10 days, 2 weeks: to them, it really doesn't seem that long at all. If they care, they always come back and you know you've touched them where it counts... But be prepared, they may retreat again as soon as they feel threatened by some things unforeseen.

If Cancer Man leaves and you did nothing wrong to upset him, let him be. He will come back. If you want him, just wait it out and pick up where you left. They hate reproaches, even when deserved.

If Cancer Man leaves and it is because you did something to upset him, don't hesitate to apologize and own up to your wrongs (forget about mentionning his, he will 100% do his own thinking and thread in his own guilt, thank you very much!). Apologize and be sincere about your feelings for him. Then give him time to think about all this, It may take some time. If he comes back, you will need to hear about how you hurt him and let him vent. Listen well and ask him how you could make things ok again between the two of you. He will tell you. Then don't repeat the same mistake. That is not to say don't do any mistakes, just don't repeat the same one you apologized for, because if you do, the apology you made will be seen as insincere, his trust will be broken and it will be goodbye forever.

Being a Cancer Woman, dating a Cancer Man (currently retreated in his shell), with many great Cancer friends, I can tell you that the cat-and-mouse game is not our thing. People do perceive retreating in our shell as playing cat-and-mouse, but it is not. It is just self-preservation.

Be soft and gentle to them, caring, but don't mother or baby them, stand firmly on your own two feet. They do like a stable woman with strength and character! They don't care for being lavished with gifts or for women who walk on their knees. They much prefer little gestures of kindness, which are never lost on them, they do notice even the smallest of things.

I love being a Cancer woman and I love Cancer men! The passion and intensity is inebriating! But it is a sword that cuts both ways...

Oh! If you are with a Cancer, be strong, gentle and caring, but also do let them know that you need them. Cancers love to be needed.

I will always come back. As long as they aren't psycho.

nice post, snowcrab!

The Crabs worth talking to will come back, and they will be better at communication if they are mature enough to realize that was one of the contributing problems in the past.

The shit crabs that are out there (and there are a TON of them out there) will do all kinds of weird shit to either get your attention or just act like assholes. Either way, they won't make a concerted and honest effort to be in your life, and you need not worry. They were never worth spending time with in the first place.

Posted by snowcrab
Oh! If you are with a Cancer, be strong, gentle and caring, but also do let them know that you need them. Cancers love to be needed.

I have dated a crab guy just recently, i call it quit and told him i would go on with my life as he was confusing me all the time. I deleted him in watsapp and could not see my DP there. But when i check, am still in his watsapp and havent deleted me yet.Do you think he will talk to me soon? As im still in his contact.

I agree 100% with anOdeToNoOne: "The Crabs worth talking to will come back, and they will be better at communication if they are mature enough to realize that was one of the contributing problems in the past."

My cancer man and I had only one argument over the course of our relationship. I was responsible (I had made some reproaches, which is really not something I usually do, but I was having a really difficult time with other aspects of my life, and I really shouldn't have talked to him in such a way. I had lost my zen, and Cancer people really thrive on harmony). He retreated. I owned up to my mistake, apologized profusely, asked for his forgiveness, and made sure he knew how much I loved him. But to him, our relationship was completely over, and he said so in no uncertain terms. I did not beg for his return, instead I let him know I loved him very deeply, wrote him a poem to show him all the love we had going for us, wish him happiness and make sure he knew my heart remained opened for him should he chose to be happy with me again.... And I set him free. Respect + self-respect.

As for me, I always knew in my heart he would come back. We had always been perfect together. So I focused on my wellbeing, on finding and maintaining my zen, on staying grounded and centered, and reminded myself (and him at the same time) that I was a strong person able to weather any storm.

Well, he did come back after almost one month. It had been a long and difficult month for both of us. I did not respond to his text right away. Of course I wanted him back in my life with all my heart and soul! But being the Cancer woman that I am, I took time (half a day) to consider carefully what I would say, stay grounded. I had been deeply hurt and my heart was still in one million pieces... When I did get back to him, I did not tell him I was hurt though, I just let him do the talking. He apologized very sincerely for hurting me, said he finally understood that when you love someone you do indeed forgive them, and asked if I still loved him and would I be willing to give him another chance. Of course I still loved him and without a doubt I wanted to be with him. We talked things out very calmly, briefly, and after a few days our feelings settled, we found our safe harbour in each other again, and picked up right where we had left.

Both of us Cancers learned from our mistakes. We will not do it again. We put this behind us, and yet it remains part of us as a reminder and it makes us stronger. We are stronger now than we ever were before. We are getting married in August...

Posted by prettyCap01

Posted by snowcrab
Oh! If you are with a Cancer, be strong, gentle and caring, but also do let them know that you need them. Cancers love to be needed.

I have dated a crab guy just recently, i call it quit and told him i would go on with my life as he was confusing me all the time. I deleted him in watsapp and could not see my DP there. But when i check, am still in his watsapp and havent deleted me yet.Do you think he will talk to me soon? As im still in his contact.

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He could be just leaving you a door open for you to get back. But if you do chose to get back, be ready to apologize for your behaviour (i.e. breaking things off with him, deleting him... And not trying hard enough to understand him). I mean, if you do want to get back with him, he may still confuse you and you may have to try harder to understand him or give him enough freedom and accept that he moves at his own pace. Make sur eto tell him sincerely how you feel about him. Cancers like security. They like to know they will not get their heart broken.

He will most likely not take the first step towards you. You left. You deleted him. If he really feels strongly about you, he could take the first step eventually, but it could be months or years before he does. Take the first step, be humble, let him vent without judging him, and see what happens...

Nice post, its very true about being strong but show him you need him.

One thing I notice with my crab is he likes to take charge with plans, but when it comes to communication he mirrors your enthusiasm and openness. He also love that I have the courage to be vulnerable with him.

@snowcrab , I was dating a cancer man since the last 5 months.I am a scorpio woman he was crazy about me. Initially in the starting everything was very good but then he started becoming distant and i was very suspicious so things turned , before he used to call me all the time then i started calling him all the time.This made him get irritated still he was very nice to me.There were days he would adore me then there were days when he would get mad at me but would always come back.About one and a half months before, we had to meet each other he called me to his place.but was not telling me the plan properly and i was constantly calling him when he was with his mom.I got irritated and angry and said alot of hurtful things to him.he blocked me from evrywhr after that and said he can never talk to someone like me.i tried apologising the next day but he just wasn’t ready to talk to me at all and would constantly not pick up my phone and ignore me all the time and also block me.After a few days i told his frnd to make him talk to me i was so helpless,he called me up then and started screaming at me that why are u embarrising me in front of my friends and you bloody idiot and what not i didn’t say a word and still kept on apologizing n saying i love him.He didn’t bother at all.in this middle ,he also made his frnd msg me that he is seeing someone else so that i don’t call him.After a few days i again tried to reach him but he had blocked me so i called him from an unkown no and said if u don’t talk to me or unblock me i will call up your mom.He called me and said what kind of a person you are and alot of butter like i have no interest in you.I thought i will be frnds with you but now i will not you are disgusting and what not but also said that he is not seeing anyone he told his frnd to tell me that purposely.Screamed and kept down the phone.After a few days i again called him up crying and apologizing and asking for one last chance and that i really love him and i will change for him and he again screamed and me and said that i am a blackmailer i was calling up his mom( which i never did i jus said it in anger cs iwas so helpless he blocked me from his phone), Also said that i am not of his level i am a dirty person he hates me his frnds hate me they all know what a cookiemonsteri am , i have no self respect, i come from a bad upbringing or family cs i keep on calling him.I kept on crying apologizing fr not hvng control on my lang when i am angry and he didn’t bother n said i am not a nice person and he doesn’t want to be with anyone like me and kept down the phone.I asked him to meet he said it is another one of my drama and refused n shouted on me.I am so helpless after that i didn’t do anything , its been two weeks he didn’t bother also abt me i am still blocked also.he alwys had issues with the words i used when i was angry but i have caught him talking to random girls twice so i called him a treetrunkboy.I hv begged fr an apolo

Hi all, guys somehow i am not able to access my account sexyscorp70 even after trying and complaininh to dxp endless times...so i made a new account this one...thank you all for the advice...its more than 2 weeks he hasnt called at all no contact...guys i wanted to check i made a scrapbook kind of a thing for him having all the pictures of his family members and us and screen shots of our memories together..i wanted to give it to him on his birthday but he refused to take it last time wen i spoke to him and told him about it...he said it must be one of my dramas n things n that he doesnt want to meet me at all...i also wrote a poem in it with an appology letter... i really want to give to him..keeping it with me hurts me even more looking at it everyday....since he hasnt made any contact and also said he doesnt want to meet me i was thinking that i should jus go and drop it to his house to his guard and he can give it him...is it a good idea? i am not calling or messaging or begging him just going to drop it and come back...should i do it on his birthday or should i do it this week only before his birthday on 7thor should i not drop it at all..?i dont want him to call me needy or clingy or with no self respect...again..i just made this with a lot of love and heart and so wanted to give him...or may be i can get it dropped wishing him success in his life..and a advance happy birthday this week only...what do u cancers suggest? his birthday is on 7th..

@snowcrab what a beautiful post...great insight and thank you for sharing.

I am in love with a Cancer man and finding him very complex!