Should I tell off my boyfriends mom?

I think she’s jealous she can no longer control him. Either way she thinks I’m some horrible human being who controls her son, just because he doesn’t wanna be around her and her negative attitude every weekend.

This lady belittles both of us (money has turned her into a snob) and tries to control us with money. I can’t help it I started dating him right when he started wanting to be independent from her & her money.

UPDATE (on pg 6 too): I went to le mommas house alone for dinner tonight. They fed me steak and then afterwards I went with his mom to take her mom back to the nursing home. After that we went shopping. On the car ride back to the house she told me some things that completed the picture of some of the things my boyfriend said pisses him off about her, and in a way I think she indirectly confronted me about some drama she thought I was stirring up about my boyfriend brother (my bf talked shit about le bro to me and I told their mom what he said and she thought I was making it up).

I also let her know I don’t like going to visit my parents in the winter because it’s too cold, so hopefully she got the memo that Christmas wasn’t my doing.

I think tonight was a success but she is good at making you feel at ease before talking behind your back so idk.

No. Always take the high road with annoying relatives cause they are there to stay.

Treat her with respect and be almost annoyingly gracious. Only way to come out a winner.

Stay in ur place

The most recent thing that has irked us is we have started planning our Christmas with my family because his mom & step-dad never make plans until last minute. So we figured we’d at least do thanksgiving with his fam to make up for.

When he told her she got all offended and he defended himself saying he wants to go skiing and do all the fun things in the snow with my fam. You know what this bisch says in return? “Oh, I see how it is”... as if I’m the one pulling the ropes and making him do Christmas with my fam. It really upset him so now I’m upset.

We just want a stable plan for Christmas so he doesn’t take PTO just for us to end up sitting at home watching tv.

Posted by LadyNeptune

No. Always take the high road with annoying relatives cause they are there to stay.

Treat her with respect and be almost annoyingly gracious. Only way to come out a winner.

I think she thinks I’m stupid because I’m already annoyingly gracious and still treat her like I don’t know the shit she says behind my back.

Posted by tiziani

Being gracious doesn't mean eating shit.

Ahhh this is what I feel like I’m doing.

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by LadyNeptune

No. Always take the high road with annoying relatives cause they are there to stay.

Treat her with respect and be almost annoyingly gracious. Only way to come out a winner.

I think she thinks I’m stupid because I’m already annoyingly gracious and still treat her like I don’t know the shit she says behind my back.

click to expand

Her talking shit just reflects badly on her. If you stoop to her level its gonna escalate and make things really unbearable.

Grin and bare it.

Posted by Ariqua

Is she the cancer or him?

She is. Cancer sun, gem moon. Which is ironic because my bf is Gemini sun, cancer moon 😯

Posted by DefineTruth

It's going to be rough from here on out. You wanna date the man, you'll also date his mom.

Hispanic families go through that all the time. Ultimately, it'll be up to him to stand up for the both of you. Be warned, it may take YEARS!

She doesn’t realize the more mean she is the more it pushes him away. He doesn’t stand up to her but he avoids her, so I’m at least grateful he’s taking some action. But I feel like since he just avoids her she thinks I’m holding him hostage or trying to isolate him, as if he doesn’t make these sorts of decisions himself 😕

Posted by HeartofTopazz

No. It will only give her something else to bitch about and your bf will feel like he’s gotta choose sides.. so honestly it’s best to let him tire of mommy’s bullshit all on his own.

Withdraw and try to remain calm, I’ve been there. My MIL was a nightmare for yearssss! We’re fine now though.

Is she only saying stuff to him, or to you as well?

She’s one of the stereotypical southern women who talks behind your back. So the shit she says about me is to him. Likewise, she literally talks shit about him behind his back to me (though sometimes she’ll criticize him when he’s in the same room).

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by Ariqua

Is she the cancer or him?

She is. Cancer sun, gem moon. Which is ironic because my bf is Gemini sun, cancer moon 😯

Yeah, I would let him deal with it. The aquas Mom used to compete with me for attention from the Aqua and eventually she stopped.

click to expand

How long did it take to stop?

Have you guys been together for over a year yet?

Posted by nikkistar

Have you guys been together for over a year yet?

Less than a month away from the 1 year mark.

I mean, here's the thing. We are only getting one side of the story, and I don't think you guys have even been together a year yet, from my memory. You can correct that fact or not.

But you guys aren't married, and haven't been together for a lengthy time. It seems a little too soon to be planning joint holidays. For me, I think you guys should be spending holidays with your respective families. Especially as it seems that there is some sort of destination holiday being planned. It's one thing to go from one set of parents house to the next, but a whole different thing when you are discussing completely missing holidays to spend it with someone that you have been with for less than a year.

If my son, dated a girl for less than a year, and had a girlfriend that wanted him to spend it with his family, I would be annoyed as well.

And just to add, Thanksgiving is not in anyway the same as Christmas. I would really decline from using those two as comparison.

Posted by Ellygant

I’m genuinely curious as why you always wanna take up battles for your boyfriend. Didn’t you make a similar thread about wanting to do this with his roommate a few months ago?

If you’re constantly trying to fight his battles for him, you might eventually become another version of his mother.

I understand wanting to protect and provide for who you love. But let him handle what bothers him. It’s his lesson to learn how to speak and act on his own behalf. If you try and do it for him, he will continue to be faced with these same interpersonal challenges over and over.

I feel like this is a little different because she talks shit about me and has a poor idea of who I am for no reason. I understand the roommate issue wasn’t really my business, but this does directly involve me for as long as she’s gon be making assumptions about our relationship and my character.

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by Ellygant

I’m genuinely curious as why you always wanna take up battles for your boyfriend. Didn’t you make a similar thread about wanting to do this with his roommate a few months ago?

If you’re constantly trying to fight his battles for him, you might eventually become another version of his mother.

I understand wanting to protect and provide for who you love. But let him handle what bothers him. It’s his lesson to learn how to speak and act on his own behalf. If you try and do it for him, he will continue to be faced with these same interpersonal challenges over and over.

I feel like this is a little different because she talks shit about me and has a poor idea of who I am for no reason. I understand the roommate issue wasn’t really my business, but this does directly involve me for as long as she’s gon be making assumptions about our relationship and my character.

click to expand

What assumptions is she making?

Posted by nikkistar

I mean, here's the thing. We are only getting one side of the story, and I don't think you guys have even been together a year yet, from my memory. You can correct that fact or not.

But you guys aren't married, and haven't been together for a lengthy time. It seems a little too soon to be planning joint holidays. For me, I think you guys should be spending holidays with your respective families. Especially as it seems that there is some sort of destination holiday being planned. It's one thing to go from one set of parents house to the next, but a whole different thing when you are discussing completely missing holidays to spend it with someone that you have been with for less than a year.

If my son, dated a girl for less than a year, and had a girlfriend that wanted him to spend it with his family, I would be annoyed as well.

And just to add, Thanksgiving is not in anyway the same as Christmas. I would really decline from using those two as comparison.

Lmao if you think this is too soon, we spent last Christmas & New Years with my family, and we had only been “official” for 1.5 months by that time 😬😬

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by nikkistar

I mean, here's the thing. We are only getting one side of the story, and I don't think you guys have even been together a year yet, from my memory. You can correct that fact or not.

But you guys aren't married, and haven't been together for a lengthy time. It seems a little too soon to be planning joint holidays. For me, I think you guys should be spending holidays with your respective families. Especially as it seems that there is some sort of destination holiday being planned. It's one thing to go from one set of parents house to the next, but a whole different thing when you are discussing completely missing holidays to spend it with someone that you have been with for less than a year.

If my son, dated a girl for less than a year, and had a girlfriend that wanted him to spend it with his family, I would be annoyed as well.

And just to add, Thanksgiving is not in anyway the same as Christmas. I would really decline from using those two as comparison.

Lmao if you think this is too soon, we spent last Christmas & New Years with my family, and we had only been “official” for 1.5 months by that time 😬😬

click to expand

That comment just makes this situation even worse. So he spent last Christmas with your family, and now you want him to miss this Christmas as well. So two in a row. I'd be more sympathetic to your situation, had you guys spent it with his family.

No wonder she is pissed.

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Whorpio

I feel like this is a little different because she talks shit about me and has a poor idea of who I am for no reason. I understand the roommate issue wasn’t really my business, but this does directly involve me for as long as she’s gon be making assumptions about our relationship and my character.

What assumptions is she making?

click to expand

That I control my boyfriend and influence him to do things I want in sacrifice of what he wants. On top of that she’s called me a gold digger and I have a feeling she tells people I’m not that bright.

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Whorpio

Lmao if you think this is too soon, we spent last Christmas & New Years with my family, and we had only been “official” for 1.5 months by that time 😬😬

That comment just makes this situation even worse. So he spent last Christmas with your family, and now you want him to miss this Christmas as well. So two in a row. I'd be more sympathetic to your situation, had you guys spent it with his family.

No wonder she is pissed.

click to expand

I was planning for us to spend this Christmas with his family, whether it be his mom or dad. It was his idea to do Christmas with my family again because his dad has his own plans and his mom [like I said earlier] doesn’t plan until last minute and he wants to book it all soon.

You’re literally making the same assumption she did, that this was all my idea. When in reality, after last Christmas I had this idea in my head that we will alternate Christmas’s & thanksgivings between our families.

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by Ariqua

Is she the cancer or him?

She is. Cancer sun, gem moon. Which is ironic because my bf is Gemini sun, cancer moon 😯

Yeah, I would let him deal with it. The aquas Mom used to compete with me for attention from the Aqua and eventually she stopped.

How long did it take to stop?

2 years lol

click to expand

Fingers crossed one more year to go of this stress then 🤞🏼

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Whorpio

Lmao if you think this is too soon, we spent last Christmas & New Years with my family, and we had only been “official” for 1.5 months by that time 😬😬

That comment just makes this situation even worse. So he spent last Christmas with your family, and now you want him to miss this Christmas as well. So two in a row. I'd be more sympathetic to your situation, had you guys spent it with his family.

No wonder she is pissed.

I was planning for us to spend this Christmas with his family, whether it be his mom or dad. It was his idea to do Christmas with my family again because his dad has his own plans and his mom [like I said earlier] doesn’t plan until last minute and he wants to book it all soon.

You’re literally making the same assumption she did, that this was all my idea. When in reality, after last Christmas I had this idea in my head that we will alternate Christmas’s & thanksgivings between our families.

click to expand

Then that is on your boyfriend to tell her that. Because Moms aren't gonna think their kids are willfully saying no to spending them with them.

Don't do it. She'll hate you more. He should be the one to talk to her.

Posted by Neno2 I meant his placements,all of them

Gemini sun

Cancer moon

Gemini mercury

Aries Venus

Leo mars

Libra Jupiter

Capricorn Uranus & Neptune

Scorpio Pluto

Posted by RooSagicorn

This is your boyfriends place to deal with it. You will only make it worse if you tell her off.

I just wanna clear the air and let her know I’m not some big bad wolf preying on her son lol.

Posted by Neno2

In my case my principles and how i want to live is more important than everything

Don't you have someone to intimidate with your staring?

Posted by Neno2

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Neno2

In my case my principles and how i want to live is more important than everything

Don't you have someone to intimidate with your staring?

😂bu hu

Tomorrow night is party,i do that then😂

click to expand

Oh, so we can except a Monday morning thread that passively humblebrags about a girl staring at you, and liking you?

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by RooSagicorn

This is your boyfriends place to deal with it. You will only make it worse if you tell her off.

I just wanna clear the air and let her know I’m not some big bad wolf preying on her son lol.

She’s not a friend she’s his mother. Moms want to spend time with their kids. If a child is cut off from them & no longer wants to spend time with them it’s going to hurt their feelings. You are being controlling.. she gets to have her opinion and her sons decisions on who he spends time with & how he handles his life is between them. Overtime the truth comes out. Be patient.

click to expand

I want to be her friend tho. I guess that’s why I care what she thinks about me

Posted by Neno2

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Neno2

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Neno2

In my case my principles and how i want to live is more important than everything

Don't you have someone to intimidate with your staring?

😂bu hu

Tomorrow night is party,i do that then😂

Oh, so we can except a Monday morning thread that passively humblebrags about a girl staring at you, and liking you?

Nah

U can expect a Sunday morning thread where i passively humblebrag about a girl staring at me and liking me



U must think of time zones😃party is 24 h from now,10 pm tomorrow😃

click to expand

To think, I thought you would save up the entire weekend to post about it the Monday after.

I, apparently, thought you were more humble. My fault.

Posted by Neno2

but i cant wait that long😲my self esteem and confidence depend on people on the Internet liking me,it cant wait

-1000 points

Posted by 7s

Idk I feel like cancer is that one sign that calms down quick when you speak to them on logical terms.

You sound pretty emotional yourself but if you can muster up the strength to calmly help her see how impossible it is to control him you should get a different reaction.

Also, do what you can to get him to spend this Christmas with his mother. It's only fair.

I’ve been trying to convince him we must spend Christmas with her, but she keeps doing things to piss him off that he’s at the point where he wants to spend it with my family just to spite her. Idk what to say when he gets like that because I don’t want it to seem like I’m picking her side, but I also don’t want to support a rift between them. It’s definitely a balancing act idk how to balance.

Posted by Neno2

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Neno2

but i cant wait that long😲my self esteem and confidence depend on people on the Internet liking me,it cant wait

-1000 points

U evil person u😑😂

click to expand

-1,000,000 points

Posted by DefineTruth

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by RooSagicorn

Posted by Whorpio

Posted by RooSagicorn

This is your boyfriends place to deal with it. You will only make it worse if you tell her off.

I just wanna clear the air and let her know I’m not some big bad wolf preying on her son lol.

She’s not a friend she’s his mother. Moms want to spend time with their kids. If a child is cut off from them & no longer wants to spend time with them it’s going to hurt their feelings. You are being controlling.. she gets to have her opinion and her sons decisions on who he spends time with & how he handles his life is between them. Overtime the truth comes out. Be patient.

I want to be her friend tho. I guess that’s why I care what she thinks about me

Telling her off and making her angry will do the exact opposite of what you're trying to accomplish. You received good advice in this thread from married women who've probably been in this situation on some level.

This is a battle that you're choosing to lose.

click to expand

I wouldn’t tell her off in a mean way. I was thinking more like “FYI, [boyfriend] makes these decisions all on his own. I have no say in it; I just go with what he says once he’s made up his mind. I don’t appreciate you assuming I’m the controlling bad guy here and acting like [boyfriend] can’t make his own decisions”. I didn’t think it would upset her; I feel like she respects people who can dish out the same attitude she does.

Posted by Neno2

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Neno2

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by Neno2

but i cant wait that long😲my self esteem and confidence depend on people on the Internet liking me,it cant wait

-1000 points

U evil person u😑😂

-1,000,000 points

-1,000,000 points on the uncool scale🤓tnx

click to expand

Sorry, but your opinion is disregarded.

Posted by DefineTruth

It's going to be rough from here on out. You wanna date the man, you'll also date his mom.

Hispanic families go through that all the time. Ultimately, it'll be up to him to stand up for the both of you. Be warned, it may take YEARS!

They aren’t Hispanic!

Posted by Whorpio

I think she’s jealous she can no longer control him. Either way she thinks I’m some horrible human being who controls her son, just because he doesn’t wanna be around her and her negative attitude every weekend.

This lady belittles both of us (money has turned her into a snob) and tries to control us with money. I can’t help it I started dating him right when he started wanting to be independent from her & her money.

is your boyfriend the gemini guy?

Kill her with kindness. You can get your point across by being nice and passive/aggressive 😄 This is my favorite thing to do. When they are confused with how nice you are but still can feel the undertone of "Go fucc yourself" lol

Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by Whorpio

I think she’s jealous she can no longer control him. Either way she thinks I’m some horrible human being who controls her son, just because he doesn’t wanna be around her and her negative attitude every weekend.

This lady belittles both of us (money has turned her into a snob) and tries to control us with money. I can’t help it I started dating him right when he started wanting to be independent from her & her money.

is your boyfriend the gemini guy?

Yes and with the Cancer Moon.

click to expand

i thought so...

OP is a strong woman.

Steer him away from momma's grip.

she needs to let go of her baby and he's a grown man. Let him be free and come to momma because momma is there for support, only.

oh and i agree with others, always keep respect.

Posted by Neno2

Posted by rejuvenatedheart

Posted by Neno2

Posted by Whorpio

I think she’s jealous she can no longer control him. Either way she thinks I’m some horrible human being who controls her son, just because he doesn’t wanna be around her and her negative attitude every weekend.

This lady belittles both of us (money has turned her into a snob) and tries to control us with money. I can’t help it I started dating him right when he started wanting to be independent from her & her money.

Whats his sign?

Read the comments before you start asking questions.

I mean his whole chart

All placements

I have cancer moon and i dont listen to anyone even my mom,gf is on first place

click to expand

lol

UPDATE: I went to le mommas house alone for dinner tonight. They fed me steak and then afterwards I went with his mom to take her mom back to the nursing home. After that we went shopping. On the car ride back to the house she told me some things that completed the picture of some of the things my boyfriend said pisses him off about her, and in a way I think she indirectly confronted me about some drama she thought I was stirring up about my boyfriends brother (my bf talked shit about le bro to me and I told their mom what he said and she thought I was making it up).

I also let her know I don’t like going to visit my parents in the winter because it’s too cold, so hopefully she got the memo that Christmas wasn’t my doing.

I think tonight was a success but she is good at making you feel at ease before talking behind your back so idk.