Virgo Female/Cancer Male

hey guys!
So I need some input on my current situation. I had a cancer male aggressively chase after me (which he later told his brother he didn't really chase..idk about that) for a few months. After we got close (no real physical stuff) he got freaked out b/c supposedly things had gone too quick and he needed time to think. When he said he needed time to think he also asked me not to talk to other guys. I kinda pushed him to make a decision if he wanted to be together and in the end he said he didn't think we could get married and admitted he cried during the breakup. Currently (two months later), we talk every ~4 days..normally he contacts, but I've been contacting lately b/c he's been depressed. During our convos, he's not really the same...slower to answer and less happy. He's been sulking like crazy and I've been trying to be there for him...show more love and show him that I'm there for him. I'm not sure how to read our current status in general though. Does he still like me? or is it completely over?

Posted by MixedUpVirgo
hey guys!
So I need some input on my current situation. I had a cancer male aggressively chase after me (which he later told his brother he didn't really chase..idk about that) for a few months. After we got close (no real physical stuff) he got freaked out b/c supposedly things had gone too quick and he needed time to think. When he said he needed time to think he also asked me not to talk to other guys. I kinda pushed him to make a decision if he wanted to be together and in the end he said he didn't think we could get married and admitted he cried during the breakup. Currently (two months later), we talk every ~4 days..normally he contacts, but I've been contacting lately b/c he's been depressed. During our convos, he's not really the same...slower to answer and less happy. He's been sulking like crazy and I've been trying to be there for him...show more love and show him that I'm there for him. I'm not sure how to read our current status in general though. Does he still like me? or is it completely over?

He probably has some issues with your past but trusts you alot and likes having you in his life.

If u do get together in a relationship and it doesn't work out in your mind, be sure to give him proper closure and let him talk to you one last time in person.Virgos are bad during breakups because they totally show their cold side.

it's more his past than mine. I made the mistake of getting really upset at him abt wanting to think about stuff so it freaked him out even more. Haha you're so rite about that. I got mean to him n he asked me not to leave his life. I know I want to be with him and I've made that very clear. He's stopped flirting with me, so I'm wondering if I made a huge mistake or if its fixable.

Virgos give their love like no other in the zodiac. It is truly special.

Cancers are just emotional creatures and Virgo's are logical and analytical. Cancers are can analytical and logical but our emotions take precident over everything.


In term of his past, he may feel your past might be more shaddy or what not over his even if in fact it is his past that is more shaddy in the eyes of everyone else. We feel our mistakes were mostly based on emotions that are short lived and can change rapidly. We did what we did to make us feel better at the time. With Virgos we feel that you made a logical choice in what you did and alot of planning went into it.

With my Virgo ex, I told her I slept with alot of women and she had only slept with 6 guy, but one of those guys was a sworn enemy of mine from childhood and it boiled my blood. Technically she was the more moral person since she slept with less people and was more choosy, yet

I felt her sleeping with that one guy was close to unforgivable because she logically saw nothing wrong with it as I found it distasteful since the guy in question was a total asshole to everyone and everybody and even she knew that but did it anyway.

He knows you want to be with him, but he is probably scared because he might be afraid u will use ur Virgo logic in a situation that calls for emotional intervention. You just have to overlook his moodswings and realize he adores you in his heart, but he is afraid you will hurt him bad way and not make it into a big deal like Cancers do.

We are also aware that Virgos can be mean, but we are actually meaner people than you are when we are angry so that evens itself out.

You just got to realize Cancers are the most loyal in the zodiac, but they are going to test you to your limits to make sure of that. Just go along for the ride and realize it will pay off with huge dividends if u look at our mood swings and emotions as ways to ensure we have the right people around us who have our best interest at heart.

Thanks for your input hightide! I'll take it all into consideration.

He doesn't want to be in a real committed relationship so they sulk and disappear and do all kinds of nonsensical bullshit things to stay out of one. So many women wasting so much time TRYING to love a man into it and it won't work. And it's not just cancer men who do it, all the other zodiacs do it to, the men that are mature and willing and want to commit don't behave this way.

Being nice, and a little mean, keeps the cancer in check. My cancer man is subject to this method. It took time but I realized if I am mean in small doses he respects me more. If I am too nice he will take me for granted.

Reading the moods, and knowing the right course of action to take, may take some time. When mine gets sulky, he wants to be coddled. When he's verbally expressing frustration with a scornful look on his face, he wants to be left alone. When he's really depressed, he needs a combo of both. Reassurance, in a calm tone, a warm hug, then give him space.

Whatever you do, try very hard to NOT let his moodiness bring you down. I went through this. I am human, and can be sensitive, so there have been times where it's gotten to me. Just exacerbates his mood. Cancer needs your earthy solidity. It helps both parties to talk it out AFTER his moodiness has passed. When he's feeling ok again it's ok to express how you are affected too. Definitely use I-statements so they don't feel blamed or attacked. They care how you feel so they want to know. You will also need the release. It's not easy dating them but worth it.

Posted by tiki33
He doesn't want to be in a real committed relationship so they sulk and disappear and do all kinds of nonsensical bullshit things to stay out of one. So many women wasting so much time TRYING to love a man into it and it won't work. And it's not just cancer men who do it, all the other zodiacs do it to, the men that are mature and willing and want to commit don't behave this way.

Amen to this statement... I can truly relate...to this BS.... My new/old motto ..is to be true to myself.... The curb/woodshed suits him just fine. 😉

No offense to cancer males b/c I've seen how great the balanced mature cancer men can be but the immature cancer men are atrocious to date, unless a woman is prepared to do a ton of ass kissing, hoop jumping, endure emotional mistreatment via intense moodiness, hand holding, waiting for eternity for him to grow up and stop sucking on his mama's tit she'll be absolutely miserable.

BTW... I clued into this BS long time ago.... I gave him the "BE AFRAID BE VERY AFRAID" speach in Jan/09... I truly knew how Afraid he was of ME back then... Don't know how...but my gut was and is still talking to me. I have said some very horible things to him... rightfully so.. based on his continued disrespect towards me... He knows what he has done or not done... and I just keep reminding him that I'm worth so much more.. then the BS... he throws at me. lol

If I don't hear from him again... no problem.. My life has continued on beat... If he does contact me again.. he best be prepared to have that come clean talk.. as in my last communication with him... Stated "I trust I will not hear for you again unless he is ready to come clean.. and have a real discussion on our mutual wants and needs" I am really tired of his BS... I have in the past told him that he was not worth my time and energy... The latter is only an example on how I really do not care which way this goes... He continued to try to make contact...ragard;ess... WTF..

My life has continued regardless of the BS from this SOB... His has also continued.however based on his attempts to contact me of late... imo.. He has not found a replacement. Hey.. my last communication I asked him to take it on with someone else... PLEASE!!!!!!..

Even tho.. I have made this very clear... I know in my heart that he will be back... Why—

Posted by tiki33
No offense to cancer males b/c I've seen how great the balanced mature cancer men can be but the immature cancer men are atrocious to date, unless a woman is prepared to do a ton of ass kissing, hoop jumping, endure emotional mistreatment via intense moodiness, hand holding, waiting for eternity for him to grow up and stop sucking on his mama's tit she'll be absolutely miserable.

Actually Tiki... I do not believe any of this... imo... They will only learn... if a women does the exact opposite of what you state above..." The ass kissing, hoop jumping, endure emotional mistreatment via intense moodiness, hand holding, waiting for eternity for him to grow up and stop sucking on his mama's tit"... I say call it the way you see it... and be very very prepared to let them go...into someone else arms... It won't last..😉 but at least he will appreaciate the gal that respects herself above anything else.. especially him and his BS. Just Saying..

Posted by catin

Posted by tiki33
No offense to cancer males b/c I've seen how great the balanced mature cancer men can be but the immature cancer men are atrocious to date, unless a woman is prepared to do a ton of ass kissing, hoop jumping, endure emotional mistreatment via intense moodiness, hand holding, waiting for eternity for him to grow up and stop sucking on his mama's tit she'll be absolutely miserable.

Actually Tiki... I do not believe any of this... imo... They will only learn... if a women does the exact opposite of what you state above..." The ass kissing, hoop jumping, endure emotional mistreatment via intense moodiness, hand holding, waiting for eternity for him to grow up and stop sucking on his mama's tit"... I say call it the way you see it... and be very very prepared to let them go...into someone else arms... It won't last..😉 but at least he will appreaciate the gal that respects herself above anything else.. especially him and his BS. Just Saying..

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I call it ass kissing others call it "this is what you need to do to be with a cancer male" it's all the same stuff IMO. The mature self aware cancers are phenomenal, they really go out of there way to ensure the woman they love is appreciated but OMG the ones that haven't been able to balance things out for himself IMO are just highly difficult to be around and be with. I see post after post after post filled with women that won't let go b/c she's trying to get the holy grail self aware cancer male, Instead of loving him to death you have to BE the balance he lacks inside, I say accept him as he is, don't try to overly reassure him and get a life outside of him so when he's in a funk and want to be left alone you'll have something else to do and think about other than him.

As you probably noted from my post... I cannot disagree with this... I call it the way I see it.. and ass kissing whatever.. is just not the way to go... with the immature Cancer Dudes'

I am the Holy Grail... and he needs to learn that fact imo... or he can be GONE

imo.. It is a matter of getting them there... Where they can finally realize what they are about to lose... unless they step up to the plate.

This man was my HERO in 2007.... I was willing to take a back seat to him (Not easy to get a Leo to take this stance .. but I was wiling)... I helped him every chance I got... But also put him in his place as frequently as needed.

Keeping quiet and kissing their Cancer ass's is surely imo.. not the way to go...

No MAN is worth being degraded...to an object... a play thing..Just saying.

Love you Tiki.. Always love your input.. 🙂

Posted by tiki33
No offense to cancer males b/c I've seen how great the balanced mature cancer men can be but the immature cancer men are atrocious to date, unless a woman is prepared to do a ton of ass kissing, hoop jumping, endure emotional mistreatment via intense moodiness, hand holding, waiting for eternity for him to grow up and stop sucking on his mama's tit she'll be absolutely miserable.

I agree with this.

We usually start to have a self realization in our late 20's that we lost alot of people we cared about due to us being over emotional in situations where it wasn't needed. Cancer's start off as very selfish people who overvalue the gift of being emotional.

A balanced Cancer man can eventually focus on other people's problems and suffering first, and in turn, people will eventually give us the attention we like as a result of caring about them so much.

Posted by catin
I am the Holy Grail)

HA! RIGHT ON, MAMA!

Thank you so much everyone for your input 🙂 I've always been a straight forward type of girl so the whole game/immature thing doesn't mesh well with me hence the posting. Again, thanks so much!!

Posted by VirgoVixxxen

Posted by catin
I am the Holy Grail)

HA! RIGHT ON, MAMA!

click to expand

Thank you... for the compliment.... I know my worth....and so should every women here know theres... and stop cotton balling of these boys. They are men... with issues which they need to resolve/ come to terms with...

We are women... who should not put up with their very very bad behaviour...and always be prepared to walk away..from any abusive behaviour. I have many times... He on the other hand... refuses to listen. lol

@Maddy.... After 15 years+ in my own business... it is not so easy to cancel your cell phone.. and get another number. It could kill my income....Just saying.

Bump too...