R1g0rM0rT1s
@R1g0rM0rT1s
13 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 3039 · Topics: 111
well that would appear to be that!
it seems he doesn't understand. he sent me a really abrupt text just now and i've tried to call him but it's just going to VM. what he doesn't know is that i've had my ex sending me copious emails about how our daughter doesn't like him and that i have no choice but to dump him and tbh, i can do without his interference!
to add to the drama, when i was having the talk with the cancer the leo who introduced us was at the bar. there used to be something between us a while ago and i do still like him. anyhow, he smiled and waved and i responded likewise but i was facing the cancer and the leo was behind and he didn't like my expression i guess....i dunno. he's proper moody now though.
thanks for your input infinity. it's hard for me and my ex as our parents have been together forever and so we have zero experience of what it's like from the other side. another friend of ours who's parents marriage broke down when he was four was talking to my daughter about what it was like and how in the end, he had to accept his mother deserved to have a life of her own. later my daughter said she wanted to cry and we did go on to have a heart to heart about things.
see it's not just a divorce she's been through. i was also diagnosed with breast cancer just before i separated from my ex and my daughter was only 8 at the time. for the last year it's just been me and her living together as my son went back to england. every time i so much as sneeze she gets very anxious. she's been through alot and i know through painful experience that bad childhood memories can sometimes blight you for your whole life.
the crab will just have to have a tantrum. i've got no options with this any more.
to add to the drama, when i was having the talk with the cancer the leo who introduced us was at the bar. there used to be something between us a while ago and i do still like him. anyhow, he smiled and waved and i responded likewise but i was facing the cancer and the leo was behind and he didn't like my expression i guess....i dunno. he's proper moody now though.
thanks for your input infinity. it's hard for me and my ex as our parents have been together forever and so we have zero experience of what it's like from the other side. another friend of ours who's parents marriage broke down when he was four was talking to my daughter about what it was like and how in the end, he had to accept his mother deserved to have a life of her own. later my daughter said she wanted to cry and we did go on to have a heart to heart about things.
see it's not just a divorce she's been through. i was also diagnosed with breast cancer just before i separated from my ex and my daughter was only 8 at the time. for the last year it's just been me and her living together as my son went back to england. every time i so much as sneeze she gets very anxious. she's been through alot and i know through painful experience that bad childhood memories can sometimes blight you for your whole life.
the crab will just have to have a tantrum. i've got no options with this any more.
to be honest, i hadn't anything-zoned him in the first place. i already told him we had to slow things down for precisely this reason. he was going so fast that he wasn't giving me a chance to get to know him and as i have got to know him, i've become more certain that it's not gonna happen. i have a problem with people who drink to excess. before i had kids i had quite a problem of my own but this man's in his 40's....i told him tonight i thought it was a shallow existence. i'm a bit like a smoker who's quit when it comes to alcohol. i can't stop my mouth being judgemental, lol.
my daughter also has a problem with drinkers cos her father although a heavy drinker when i first met him, rarely drank after the kids were born but when he did, he got very aggressive. in spain alcohol is part of life for everyone but the english only ever drink to get as drunk as possible and she's witnessed behaviour in the past that makes her very nervous around people who are drunk.
other parents take their teenagers to the bars with them here (english ones that is) and they even buy them alcoholic drinks if the bar staff allow it. i don't choose to do that with my daughter. it's not my life style choice for myself or for her.
unfortunately, one of the main problems with a drinker is finding the time to try and reason with them. i picked the wrong time tonight and now he's not talking to me and probably when i speak to him tomorrow, he won't remember what i'm talking about.
i won't ever live that way again.
my daughter also has a problem with drinkers cos her father although a heavy drinker when i first met him, rarely drank after the kids were born but when he did, he got very aggressive. in spain alcohol is part of life for everyone but the english only ever drink to get as drunk as possible and she's witnessed behaviour in the past that makes her very nervous around people who are drunk.
other parents take their teenagers to the bars with them here (english ones that is) and they even buy them alcoholic drinks if the bar staff allow it. i don't choose to do that with my daughter. it's not my life style choice for myself or for her.
unfortunately, one of the main problems with a drinker is finding the time to try and reason with them. i picked the wrong time tonight and now he's not talking to me and probably when i speak to him tomorrow, he won't remember what i'm talking about.
i won't ever live that way again.
unfortunately cos we live in a heavy drinking culture everyone is an alcoholic in denial. it's a very enabling environment here. i've only lived in this area a few weeks and i've been quite shocked tbh. i don't have to mix with the drinkers though and have only done so when i've seen the crab.
i'll call him tomorrow but i don't feel bad that he's obviously pissed off about things. it's better to find these things out before you get too involved with someone. specially when you've got kids.
i'll call him tomorrow but i don't feel bad that he's obviously pissed off about things. it's better to find these things out before you get too involved with someone. specially when you've got kids.
Posted by BikerCh1ckPosted by R1g0rM0rT1s
we live in a heavy drinking culture everyone is an alcoholic in denial.
BS. I think you dont understand the term. Maybe that's why you got involved with this man.
I wouldn't feel sorry for you getting involved with the wrong guy. It is your decision at the end of the day. You need to experience a real alcoholic to understand what the fuck you are talking about. I am only worried about the kid.
Thank God she sounds mature same like your ex husband.click to expand
and you need to come off your high horse and stop making assumptions. i was with my ex husband - a bi-polar ALCOHOLIC for over 20 years. he wasn't addicted the whole time. i also had problems with drugs and alcohol in the PAST. i learned all about enabling environments in rehab in fact.
it's a fact that we live in a heavy drinking culture but it is not ESSENTIAL to choose that life style . i can live amongst drinkers and not touch a drop. I am not a drunk any more and i won't have that influence in my child's life.
i won't be with someone who defends their right to drink to excess every single day on the basis that 'everyone else is doing it'.
and of COURSE i wasn't aware he was like this when i first met him. these are things you find out as you get to know someone— i met him initially as he does housemoving and moved me from a distance away into the area. then i paid him to do some decorating and so i got to know him while he was sober and working for me but obviously i still didn't know him very well.
and don't give me crap about being worried about my kid. i have two kids actually, neither of whom you know and you have no idea what they have both had to endure over the last few years. i ALWAYS put my kids first which is why i've been SINGLE for 5 years!!!!
anyway. i don't think you understand the term BS.
Posted by BikerCh1ck
Before your daughter started telling her dad you were coming here saying how much in love you were with this guy. Now suddenly when you started getting bombarded by texts, the crab is not good.
You just wants us to stroke your ego here..
It would have been much more honest if you were saying that you actually have to friend zone the crab and you wanted our psychological support other that throwing at us all that drama!..
Although it sounds very harsh, the basic gist of this post is true. She has a problem just friendzoning the guy after doing him over the last few days and is now dramatizing here so that everyone can get around her and sing kumbaya...poor you. Which all the crab woman are doing admirably, let's not allow good sense to get in the way of bias.
What I find interesting is that there was not even a semblance of an attempt to tell her story in a balanced manner and yet everyone has been sympathising with her and telling her how bad the other man is eventhough they don't know the guy at all. She says not to judge her without knowing her yet she has been asking us to judge that man for days on her behalf without knowing him!! I am just amazed that you're the first one to call out this hypocrisy.
Posted by Crabmoon
The brake up thread came earlier than I though.
Not all crabs😉
This was a booty call right from the beginning, there was no romance here...lol 😉. Maybe aurora is right, women are not as free as I thought they are....
whatever bikerch1c says, lol....seems to know more than me...
This whole situation is kind of the very reason I hate scorpio women.
I must say, the outcome is correct. Your family can't stand him, I will never encourage anyone to go against the family, its as simple as that, case closed.
But the few things that stood out to me, is the stuff that I see in scorpio women all the fucking time. They are basically selfish, hyper selfish. In fact, if anyone is happy dating a scorpio woman, its a pure coincidence that baffles even scorpio women.
In this situation, the things that stood out to me the most were you saying hi to your leo ex. Assuming that scorpio's are really that intuitive, emotional and jealous, you would have thought that some voice in her head would have told her that its probably a bad idea to say hi in his presence.
And that's of course after ignoring the whole dating someone new while still being hung up on your ex. Incredibly selfish. I understand that one does not always know or understand their own emotions, particularly when dealing with the past and past relationships, but investing any time or entertaining the idea of any relationship with anyone while still being attached to your past is an act of selfishness as you clearly made no consideration to the person you're tagging along.
Furthermore, she actually wants to be friends after that. She didn't tell him "We can't see each other any more", she actually wants to be friends, and as she pointed out many times, its not because she actually likes him, but because he turned out to be useful to her, in and out of bed. No consideration was given if it was actually a possibility for him, its just what she wants and that's all what matters now. Selfish.
This story isn't over either, good luck "friend zoning" Clyde.
I must say, the outcome is correct. Your family can't stand him, I will never encourage anyone to go against the family, its as simple as that, case closed.
But the few things that stood out to me, is the stuff that I see in scorpio women all the fucking time. They are basically selfish, hyper selfish. In fact, if anyone is happy dating a scorpio woman, its a pure coincidence that baffles even scorpio women.
In this situation, the things that stood out to me the most were you saying hi to your leo ex. Assuming that scorpio's are really that intuitive, emotional and jealous, you would have thought that some voice in her head would have told her that its probably a bad idea to say hi in his presence.
And that's of course after ignoring the whole dating someone new while still being hung up on your ex. Incredibly selfish. I understand that one does not always know or understand their own emotions, particularly when dealing with the past and past relationships, but investing any time or entertaining the idea of any relationship with anyone while still being attached to your past is an act of selfishness as you clearly made no consideration to the person you're tagging along.
Furthermore, she actually wants to be friends after that. She didn't tell him "We can't see each other any more", she actually wants to be friends, and as she pointed out many times, its not because she actually likes him, but because he turned out to be useful to her, in and out of bed. No consideration was given if it was actually a possibility for him, its just what she wants and that's all what matters now. Selfish.
This story isn't over either, good luck "friend zoning" Clyde.
^She's right.
An aqua did that to me once. Just had sex with me and then threw me deep into the friend zone. I don't think I can date aquas any more. Plus her husband didn't approve of us fucking.
An aqua did that to me once. Just had sex with me and then threw me deep into the friend zone. I don't think I can date aquas any more. Plus her husband didn't approve of us fucking.
well don't hold back BK. of course i'm going to sound selfish. you're only getting my point of view on this thread. besides, i barely know the guy in reality and i have a pre-existing responsibility for my daughter that means i have to put HER first. that's called being a mother and has nothing to do with being selfish.
did you ever pause to ask yourself if i find my circumstances difficult sometimes? when i date anyone i come with baggage and not only that....baggage i have to put before everything else...even my kids' opinion of who i'm dating takes precedence over mine. and then i have an ex husband i can't prevent from interfering without upsetting my daughter...and he's got a whole other take on MY choices that are relayed back to me via my kids.........
and you call me selfish and claim it's the reason you hate scorpio women.
i thought you were quite insightful but you're actually extremely blinkered.
did you ever pause to ask yourself if i find my circumstances difficult sometimes? when i date anyone i come with baggage and not only that....baggage i have to put before everything else...even my kids' opinion of who i'm dating takes precedence over mine. and then i have an ex husband i can't prevent from interfering without upsetting my daughter...and he's got a whole other take on MY choices that are relayed back to me via my kids.........
and you call me selfish and claim it's the reason you hate scorpio women.
i thought you were quite insightful but you're actually extremely blinkered.
you know you didn't say anything meaningful just then, right ?
You come with baggage? So fucking what. Everyone does. But people deal with their baggage, you clearly didn't.
You're a mother and sounds like a great mother, I already said I believe your decision is correct.
That said,
Its easy for us now to just say that the guy has a drinking problem and thats really what's going on.
It doesn't explain why you got into anything with him while your not done with leo.
It doesn't explain why your aries ex still has influence on your dating life.
I have no interest in attacking you or making you feel bad, but seriously.. own up to it. Own up to that feelings of hurt/pain on both sides could have been avoidable if you just understood your self a little and actually stood your grounds. Own up to that you're impulsive. Own up to that you're not perfectly in charge of your own life. It's one thing to have baggage, its a whole other thing to walk around haphazardly swinging your baggage around.
You come with baggage? So fucking what. Everyone does. But people deal with their baggage, you clearly didn't.
You're a mother and sounds like a great mother, I already said I believe your decision is correct.
That said,
Its easy for us now to just say that the guy has a drinking problem and thats really what's going on.
It doesn't explain why you got into anything with him while your not done with leo.
It doesn't explain why your aries ex still has influence on your dating life.
I have no interest in attacking you or making you feel bad, but seriously.. own up to it. Own up to that feelings of hurt/pain on both sides could have been avoidable if you just understood your self a little and actually stood your grounds. Own up to that you're impulsive. Own up to that you're not perfectly in charge of your own life. It's one thing to have baggage, its a whole other thing to walk around haphazardly swinging your baggage around.
Posted by ellessque
Rig, I've been divorced now for three years. I have two children too (both grown (20 &22) but have moved back in and out of my home)
My answer? Don't tell them ANYTHING about your dating life. As far as my sons are concerned, I have no life.....and I like that they continue to think that.
They don't need to know who I'm dating or how I spend my time outside the house. I don't have men sleep over and if I do leave the house for a night, it's none of their damn business where I'm going. I will let them know when I'm leaving and when to expect me back.
Now, granted, your daughter is under 18 so it's unlikely you'll leave for the evening while she's there.
However, until something becomes a real full fledged committed relationship, it's none of your childrens business what you do with your personal life.
well i don't actually tell her the ins and outs of who i'm seeing at all!!! i have never once in 5 years had a man 'sleepover' at my house when any of my kids have been there. my daughter is only 13 and we're living in a new area and so we have to spend a lot of time together cos she hasn't made any friends here yet. if i 'see' the crab, she will stay at home...yes she's safe and yes she's old enough. the thing is that for that reason....leaving her on her own...i tell her where i'm going (location wise) and always can be reached on my phone....and she frequently does whenever i go anywhere, lol!!
but kids aren't stupid and they fill in the gaps themselves. then she will chat with her brother on skype or whatever and he may mention something to their father...then it becomes like chinese whispers and the next thing i know i'm on the verge of marrying some poor unsuspecting dude.
she's daddy's princess and they're both aries. he messages her all day every day and i always tell her not to lie on my behalf as i have no need to lie or justify anything at all.
anyhow....what i'm trying to say is that in ordinary circumstances i haven't had cause to introduce anyone i've dated to my kids as it's not materialised into anything. trouble with the crab was that me and my daughter we both introduced to him at the same time and so she got to know him at first at the same speed i did.
did any of that makes sense? lol.
Posted by BommyKnocker
you know you didn't say anything meaningful just then, right ?
You come with baggage? So fucking what. Everyone does. But people deal with their baggage, you clearly didn't.
You're a mother and sounds like a great mother, I already said I believe your decision is correct.
That said,
Its easy for us now to just say that the guy has a drinking problem and thats really what's going on.
It doesn't explain why you got into anything with him while your not done with leo.
It doesn't explain why your aries ex still has influence on your dating life.
I have no interest in attacking you or making you feel bad, but seriously.. own up to it. Own up to that feelings of hurt/pain on both sides could have been avoidable if you just understood your self a little and actually stood your grounds. Own up to that you're impulsive. Own up to that you're not perfectly in charge of your own life. It's one thing to have baggage, its a whole other thing to walk around haphazardly swinging your baggage around.
1. i may not be done with the leo in a part of my mind but i know i NEED to be done with him. that can only be achieved if i explore other avenues and i did so sincerely....cos i also WANT to be done with the leo.
2. my aries ex has no INFLUENCE over my life whatsoever. he has an OPINION on everything however. to me it is neither here nor there but to my kids it can be an issue and so i have to consider their feelings as he's their father.
3. i can't speak for the cancerian...who btw, i have spoken to today and he has absolutely no recollection of anything and if he does have, he's not saying....but there are ZERO feelings of hurt/pain on either side.
4. i am in absolute control of my life and no-one tells me what to do even down to my job working for myself. i provide a fantastic life style to my daughter and i also think i provide an excellent role model too.
5. it is actually a big deal that he has a drink problem and i'm amazed that you think i'm using it as an excuse for being 'selfish' or whatever you're waffling about. have you lived with an alcoholic? i think you'll find that it's a pretty shit experience irrespective of their astrological makeup.
and finally.....you couldn't make me feel bad if you threw your entire arsenal of verbal garbage at me...you OR bikerth1ck LOL.
it's fun though.
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1sPosted by BommyKnocker
.
1. i may not be done with the leo in a part of my mind but i know i NEED to be done with him. that can only be achieved if i explore other avenues and i did so sincerely....cos i also WANT to be done with the leo.
2. my aries ex has no INFLUENCE over my life whatsoever. he has an OPINION on everything however. to me it is neither here nor there but to my kids it can be an issue and so i have to consider their feelings as he's their father.
3. i can't speak for the cancerian...who btw, i have spoken to today and he has absolutely no recollection of anything and if he does have, he's not saying....but there are ZERO feelings of hurt/pain on either side.
4. i am in absolute control of my life and no-one tells me what to do even down to my job working for myself. i provide a fantastic life style to my daughter and i also think i provide an excellent role model too.
5. it is actually a big deal that he has a drink problem and i'm amazed that you think i'm using it as an excuse for being 'selfish' or whatever you're waffling about. have you lived with an alcoholic? i think you'll find that it's a pretty shit experience irrespective of their astrological makeup.
and finally.....you couldn't make me feel bad if you threw your entire arsenal of verbal garbage at me...you OR bikerth1ck LOL.
it's fun though.click to expand
First of all, don't get defensive, it implies guilt.
1. The whole leo thing you said didn't make sense to me, and i'm a smart guy. It doesn't take creative thinking or experimentation, it takes time. You might've known that or not, but going to any relationship with baggage is unhealthy of both you and whoever you're dating.
2. I would disagree.
3. He's a fucktard, he doesn't realise you two can't fuck any more. And you better not sleep with him, ever!
4. Fantastic.
5. I only assumed you didn't think its a big deal because you actually said you don't think its a big deal in the "omg well" thread or whatever its called. Sounded like you choose if its an issue or not whenever it suits you.
and finally, I'm not attacking you. Already said that our role here is to support you and trust me, I am trying to be supportive. I am sorry I brought the whole scorpio women thing into this, its not about me
I find it outrageous that all of you're labelling a man you have never met an alcoholic. And all this poppycock of putting your child first is a nice female smoke screen for simply not admitting that you wanted some no strings sex and you're now ready to move on. Drinking "excessively" is purely definition based, I think anyone who drinks more than three beers excessive but that doesn't mean that the other person is alcoholic. This thread is just terrible...
Posted by ellessquePosted by incandescentcancer
I find it outrageous that all of you're labelling a man you have never met an alcoholic. And all this poppycock of putting your child first is a nice female smoke screen for simply not admitting that you wanted some no strings sex and you're now ready to move on. Drinking "excessively" is purely definition based, I think anyone who drinks more than three beers excessive but that doesn't mean that the other person is alcoholic. This thread is just terrible...
I find it highly offensive that you feel a woman cannot decide that she doesn't want to date someone without being accused of only wanting some no strings sex because she put out.
If the man is drinking to the point of not remembering simple conversations, I think it's safe to say it's okay for her not to find that acceptable.click to expand
Lol...it's offensive that you think a woman wanting no strings sex is an "accusation". This kind of attitude holds back human progress and gender equality. I think everyone is entitled to do what they like instead of couching it in a story like this and inventing all this drama.
Posted by ellessque
If the man is drinking to the point of not remembering simple conversations, I think it's safe to say it's okay for her not to find that acceptable.
This is what she told you...you don't know that for a fact. How come the story of drinking didn't come out until three days ago...come on gimme a goddamn break...
Posted by ellessque
It's common knowledge a scorpio is probably going to fuck you prior to any established "feelings". We are ruled by the genitals, ffs. That would be men or women.
Does that mean if we figure out that we don't have "feelings" for you or that we don't desire to pursue a relationship with you that our intentions from the get go are "no strings attached sex". No. Not at all. Not even close, mister high and mighty 😛
In fact, you will RARELY find a scorpio who is okay with or even pursues "no strings attached sex".....and if they do, it's experimental and it doesn't last long because, quite honestly, that kind of sex sucks sippy cups full of super salty soppy saltines....and we aren't built that way.
Oh my...so much aggression....😛. I am not accusing rig of anything other than being dramatic and I think even she would quite comfortably accept that as a fact.
Firstly, I think anyone who has been following this story for the last few weeks, knew that the romantic angle here was trampled under a size 12 jackboots. So the whole relationship was always about sex.
Secondly, she was always complaining about the man moving too fast but didn't actually do anything to slow him down, eventhough people here told her that slowing down was the most appropriate course of action.
Lastly, she brought up the drinking problem only after her daughter went and cried wolf to her daddy. I just think that this is a neat exit plan since her daughter doesn't like him. She is essentially allowing a teenage girl and her ex-husband decide what's best for her. Tomorrow if they don't like another man for some other reason she will invent another excuse to justify that break up. Do you see the pattern that I am drawing here?
Posted by ellessquePosted by incandescentcancerPosted by ellessque
If the man is drinking to the point of not remembering simple conversations, I think it's safe to say it's okay for her not to find that acceptable.
This is what she told you...you don't know that for a fact. How come the story of drinking didn't come out until three days ago...come on gimme a goddamn break...
I wasn't there but I will assume this.......
She was watching to see if was going to be a problem. She was probably embarrassed or slightly concerned to bring it up here KNOWING people would run with it and blow it out of proportion.
She had to be sure.
I lived with an alcoholic for 8 years. I didn't leave until *I* knew I was absolutely positive I was making the right decisions and during this time NOBODY around me knew what was going on either, I hid it.
We have to make our own decisions about those things with as little interference from others as possible....for no other reason except it's *FAIR and BALANCED* **LIBRA BITS** (and she's been blessed with BOTH moon and venus)click to expand
Tell me about the wonders of Libra...rising and massive first house stellium..I know all about *Fair and Balanced*. I am most certainly not trying to downplay the vice that is alcoholism, someone in my near family died because of this and my friend's father is killing himself right now over multiple bottles of booze each day. I know all about how this goes...
However, I just find it odd that it took her five weeks to know that he has a drinking problem, unless she has never seen him out on an evening in five weeks...If alcoholism is such an issue why is she allowing contact between her daughter and alcoholic ex and allowing them to make a decision for her? 😉
Posted by ellessque
--I will let Rig speak for herself but I find it highly unlikely that the entire relationship was just based on sex.
--What do you propose she do to "slow him down"? Stop shagging him? You people are so weird with the whole "sex equals love" bullpadoodle. We can still have a romp in the sack and you can STILL slow the "I love you"'s down a bit. One thing that irks the piss out of me is people who use sex as a tool to get someone to act a certain way or do something. Seems you can't think of anything but the sexual aspect of this.
--I do agree the ex has way too much influence over her (you can see it in ALOT of her posts, not just the cancer ones) and maybe she is using the daughter as a scapegoat of sorts but that is what libra does. It justifies the snot out of everything. The premise of my disagreement with you was not based on that. It was based on your flippant "no strings attached" commentary that you threw out as a dig that I felt devalues rig.
--Lol, she actually posted here somewhere that other than good sex, there wasn't anything else she was feeling. That's not an accusation, that's her admission.
--I thought talking was still a valuable tool around the world to slow things down 😉. I never said anything about withholding sex (never going to stop one of the boys from gettin' some), it was all you lovely ladies who were suggesting that. Oh, lest I forget, there is a thread somewhere here where Rig said she was going to stop having sex with him to slow things down. I think I am not the one you should be mad at, it's your mate rig 😛.
--You're still hung up on the "no strings sex", I don't view that as a dig at all. I am a believer in free love and both men and women should do whomever they like. There is nothing wrong with it at all. In fact, I will go so far as to say that it will be the very basis of an egalitarian civilization. 😛
And yet again Rig's mission is accomplished, another dramatic thread with over 50 posts now 😛. Rig you should be appointed chief troll of this forum 😉
Posted by ellessque
--Perhaps the sex was good and she was waiting for the rest of him to show up to the party?
--Well, if talking was what you were suggesting, I saw numerous attempts on her part to do just that.
--I am hung up on your comment and you are backpedaling now. It's not fair to devalue this entire situation to something as ridiculous as sex.
Ooohhh...I don't backpedal (decent burn, congrats 😛), I stand my ground and I am saying over and over again that this relationship was never anything more than sex. I am only annoyed with people presenting it as something more than that. There is absolutely nothing cheap about a relationship being purely about sex and nothing more...why not, we are beings with wants. That's why it's sort of offensive that you say that women are not entitled to that simple joy and must somehow always create a pretentious story to a simple affair.
Posted by ellessque
Just because you say something over and over again doesn't make it true 😄
Everyone knows scorpios are pretentious when it comes to sex and to downgrade this as a simple fuck buddy situation is "turn up my nose" worthy.
Hahahahhahahaa.....ok, the only way to settle this is for Rig to come on here and make an honest admission, if she ever felt anything for this guy other than "oh boy, that was some good sex" 😉.
Essentially, what you're saying is scorps need the drama and the violins playing in the background even if it's just random acts of carnality 😛
Posted by DeeGee
You shouldn't introduce you're kids right away. Find out what he's all about first...just take a step back and be alone for a while. Aren't you like recently divorced? Let the kids adjust to that whole situation before having to deal with the newly, single, dating mom.
I understand the ex has a GF, that doesn't mean you have to have a BF.
chillax....
i wonder if ANYONE can read at all?? pretty quick to leap to judgements....slow to digest the FACTS though....i wouldn't advise any of you to sign contracts. EVER.
deegee....you clearly understand nothing. i've been divorced 5 years.
things are getting heated here which is interesting really considering i'm reading it and laughing to myself.
the day i post for ADVICE on dxp is the day i shoot myself.....not sure how many of you know this but DXP IS NOT THE REAL WORLD—??
*shrugs*
Posted by incandescentcancerPosted by ellessque
--Perhaps the sex was good and she was waiting for the rest of him to show up to the party?
--Well, if talking was what you were suggesting, I saw numerous attempts on her part to do just that.
--I am hung up on your comment and you are backpedaling now. It's not fair to devalue this entire situation to something as ridiculous as sex.
Ooohhh...I don't backpedal (decent burn, congrats 😛), I stand my ground and I am saying over and over again that this relationship was never anything more than sex. I am only annoyed with people presenting it as something more than that. There is absolutely nothing cheap about a relationship being purely about sex and nothing more...why not, we are beings with wants. That's why it's sort of offensive that you say that women are not entitled to that simple joy and must somehow always create a pretentious story to a simple affair.click to expand
he's right elle. besides, knowing someone for 5 weeks does not a relationship make!! plus i'm not ashamed of liking sex even if there's no relationship prospect attached to it. no apologies for that.
Posted by DeeGeePosted by incandescentcancerPosted by ellessque
--Perhaps the sex was good and she was waiting for the rest of him to show up to the party?
--Well, if talking was what you were suggesting, I saw numerous attempts on her part to do just that.
--I am hung up on your comment and you are backpedaling now. It's not fair to devalue this entire situation to something as ridiculous as sex.
Ooohhh...I don't backpedal (decent burn, congrats 😛), I stand my ground and I am saying over and over again that this relationship was never anything more than sex. I am only annoyed with people presenting it as something more than that. There is absolutely nothing cheap about a relationship being purely about sex and nothing more...why not, we are beings with wants. That's why it's sort of offensive that you say that women are not entitled to that simple joy and must somehow always create a pretentious story to a simple affair.
Either that or just don't tell anyone about the tawdry affair....take it to a hotel when the kids are at school, break the bed if you must and go home. Why does anyone have to know in the first place? this way little Princess doesn't take mommy dearests personal business home to daddy on the weekends....or maybe Mommy wants daddy to know?
click to expand
wow. is there a brain cell in the building?? WHY DOES NO-ONE READ ANYTHING BEFORE SHOUTING THEIR MOUTHS OFF ABOUT BULLSHIT!!
it's still fun though, lol 😛
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
plus i'm not ashamed of liking sex even if there's no relationship prospect attached to it. no apologies for that.
WORD!! This is what I have been saying all along! Why should there be an apology of any sort to anyone? It's your business...love the drama though 😉
no it wasn't necessary elle but i felt like it. it's always women who have the loudest voices on dxp when it comes to sticking the boot in other women. i wouldn't mind but these people don't even read properly and can't assimilate too much information in one hit and so they start hurling judgements randomly, convincing themselves they're on some moral high ground.
i just thought this place was entertaining...for good or bad and i've done it myself...gotten derailed completely cos i'm so busy being all sneery and supercilious and so there really are no hard feelings on my part. i don't feel attacked or anything but i don't like the insinuation that i don't live my life appropriately as a mother when i've more or less lived like a fucking nun for 5 years!!!
but you're right. i didn't need to elaborate that much. i've got nothing to justify.
i just thought this place was entertaining...for good or bad and i've done it myself...gotten derailed completely cos i'm so busy being all sneery and supercilious and so there really are no hard feelings on my part. i don't feel attacked or anything but i don't like the insinuation that i don't live my life appropriately as a mother when i've more or less lived like a fucking nun for 5 years!!!
but you're right. i didn't need to elaborate that much. i've got nothing to justify.
Posted by DeeGee
Rig thinks I'm a loud mouth....I don't care. 😛
no i KNOW you're a loud mouth and so am i. be loud and proud!! 😄
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND RELAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!!!
thank you to the good people of the cancer board for your time. good night peeps.
thank you to the good people of the cancer board for your time. good night peeps.
R1g implied that she doesn't want to be with the cancer man because he's an alcoholic and wanted to avoid him because of his possibly alcoholic tendencies.
Bikerchick got pissed off because if anyone knows what does it feel like to be involved & possibly in love with an abusive alcoholic person, it would be her. And she found her Rig's escapist whining very annoying and so did many people.
If anything, she didn't pull a R1g and say.. hey.. love me.. be nice to me.. because I had breast cancer and an abusive aries husband for many years.
even though she has been through equally traumatic stuff (If not more) in her life.
This whole talk of bikerchick being crazy is pissing me off, if anything, she's just a bit harsh.. but given that she's spot on.. she will get away with it.
on another note
LOL@ more productive combinations! Dick milk is funny!
Bikerchick got pissed off because if anyone knows what does it feel like to be involved & possibly in love with an abusive alcoholic person, it would be her. And she found her Rig's escapist whining very annoying and so did many people.
If anything, she didn't pull a R1g and say.. hey.. love me.. be nice to me.. because I had breast cancer and an abusive aries husband for many years.
even though she has been through equally traumatic stuff (If not more) in her life.
This whole talk of bikerchick being crazy is pissing me off, if anything, she's just a bit harsh.. but given that she's spot on.. she will get away with it.
on another note
LOL@ more productive combinations! Dick milk is funny!
Posted by seraphPosted by BikerCh1ck
Before your daughter started telling her dad you were coming here saying how much in love you were with this guy. Now suddenly when you started getting bombarded by texts, the crab is not good.
She's been saying the crab is no good for a while now. It's *always* been supplemental to her discussions about her other experiences with him. That element of "no good" has always been there in her posts, and she didn't make much of an effort to hide it. She wanted to give herself more time to make sure.
This thread she created isn't news. It was a foregone conclusion.click to expand
A conclusion implies that there was a thought process at some stage, and there was nothing intelligent or thoughtful about or in Rig's post. If anything, Rig's post was stating facts and series of event's that did occur. I'm not a journalist, but that does sound to me like news.
English is not her first language. She might have misused a few words or terms in expressing her opinion.
+
that said, I understood her first comment.
+
that said, I understood her first comment.
regarding her first comment, I plead the 5th.
I did understand her second comment though. She's basically said thank god your that daughter has good judgment, like your ex husband.
+
People call me BK cause I'm the Bee's Knees.
I did understand her second comment though. She's basically said thank god your that daughter has good judgment, like your ex husband.
+
People call me BK cause I'm the Bee's Knees.
thanks for representing me elle 🙂
i saw him tonight. a different man altogether as he was sober. this was never about him being an alcoholic cos generally people reveal themselves with that behaviour over time? most don't wear it as a badge.
my daughter only met him because he has a large van and i paid him to do our recent move. then he did some other work around the house and we BOTH got to know him in that context. he didn't even ask me out until week two, lol. me and my daughter only saw him sober and he's a nice guy when he's sober.
but he's not when he's had a drink and the one thing i remember from living with an alcoholic is that often if they turn nasty when they've had a drink, they have zero recollection of how much they may have hurt you. my ex wouldn't believe some of the behaviour i 'accused' him of....even when police were involved, he would deny having done anything the day after.
i don't want to live that precarious existence of never knowing when that nasty side is gonna appear and the crab has already exhibited that albeit in moody text form only.
but anyway. despite his drinking, i STILL don't think he's the man for me cos it's not just about that. it's about getting to know someone and learning what their qualities and flaws are.....i'm sure he's learning plenty about me too.
i just thought dxp was somewhere you could chat about this kind of thing but it all gets too personal sometimes and BK in particular ought to review some of the comments made in this and other threads which kinda contradict eachother.
and yeah....as for getting involved with him when i knew i wasn't over the leo....i TOLD him i wasn't over him which led to him telling me all sorts of shit about the leo to put me off him....remember?
i think i'm the one who's been mature in all of this. mature and detached. scorpio style . crabs are too emotionally unstable sometimes. you should work on that BK.
i saw him tonight. a different man altogether as he was sober. this was never about him being an alcoholic cos generally people reveal themselves with that behaviour over time? most don't wear it as a badge.
my daughter only met him because he has a large van and i paid him to do our recent move. then he did some other work around the house and we BOTH got to know him in that context. he didn't even ask me out until week two, lol. me and my daughter only saw him sober and he's a nice guy when he's sober.
but he's not when he's had a drink and the one thing i remember from living with an alcoholic is that often if they turn nasty when they've had a drink, they have zero recollection of how much they may have hurt you. my ex wouldn't believe some of the behaviour i 'accused' him of....even when police were involved, he would deny having done anything the day after.
i don't want to live that precarious existence of never knowing when that nasty side is gonna appear and the crab has already exhibited that albeit in moody text form only.
but anyway. despite his drinking, i STILL don't think he's the man for me cos it's not just about that. it's about getting to know someone and learning what their qualities and flaws are.....i'm sure he's learning plenty about me too.
i just thought dxp was somewhere you could chat about this kind of thing but it all gets too personal sometimes and BK in particular ought to review some of the comments made in this and other threads which kinda contradict eachother.
and yeah....as for getting involved with him when i knew i wasn't over the leo....i TOLD him i wasn't over him which led to him telling me all sorts of shit about the leo to put me off him....remember?
i think i'm the one who's been mature in all of this. mature and detached. scorpio style . crabs are too emotionally unstable sometimes. you should work on that BK.
duno.
Not everyone feels that they must be supportive, apparently.
Anyway.. just wanted to point out she isn't crazy and her reaction is because this thread hit a nerve's
+
stop stealing my +'s.
+
Why do you always have names for me?
Not everyone feels that they must be supportive, apparently.
Anyway.. just wanted to point out she isn't crazy and her reaction is because this thread hit a nerve's
+
stop stealing my +'s.
+
Why do you always have names for me?
^ that was for elle btw.
@ Rig,
I have no interest in being stable.
+
I actually felt bad after reading your last post, but then I realised elle had a contradictory stance through out this thread too. The only one who was consistent and right in this whole thing was IC. Except you never actually said I just want sex.. or said.. This guy is falling for me and I have no intention of having a relationship at this stage of time.
Even in your last post was confusing. Are you leaving because he's allegedly an alcoholic? because you're not done with leo ? or because of his character? or is it because your family ?
I'm not weird or "unbalanced".. its you who's all over the place and expect us (or just me) to know how you feel and how to support you.
Maybe its because I'm a guy who needs to fix things and you just wanted to talk about emotions. I don't talk about emotions. You presented a few problems problems and got many solutions, and you want to make me feel bad for being inconsistent ?
I just tried not to be bias. And it's my unbiased opinion that this was an avoidable mess.. and this mess isn't over being messy.
I have no interest in being stable.
+
I actually felt bad after reading your last post, but then I realised elle had a contradictory stance through out this thread too. The only one who was consistent and right in this whole thing was IC. Except you never actually said I just want sex.. or said.. This guy is falling for me and I have no intention of having a relationship at this stage of time.
Even in your last post was confusing. Are you leaving because he's allegedly an alcoholic? because you're not done with leo ? or because of his character? or is it because your family ?
I'm not weird or "unbalanced".. its you who's all over the place and expect us (or just me) to know how you feel and how to support you.
Maybe its because I'm a guy who needs to fix things and you just wanted to talk about emotions. I don't talk about emotions. You presented a few problems problems and got many solutions, and you want to make me feel bad for being inconsistent ?
I just tried not to be bias. And it's my unbiased opinion that this was an avoidable mess.. and this mess isn't over being messy.
ok
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I have read rather contrasting views of astrologers regarding the likely passion level in a Virgo-Cancer relationship, f
I had this thing with a capricorn woman not too long ago, it went on for many months and did not involve any form of sex
Come on spill the beans boys and girls... How much would you compete for the object of your affection once you have s
Well I have a friend who is a cancer born July 3 and I am a leo female born Aug 8 and I am 6 years older than him I have
How do I tell my sensitive cancerian that I need more foreplay?
I know I should post this on the Aries board too, but would prefer other cancer women's opinions. How long have you been
you crab men certainly know a thing or two don't you!!! respect :P
Hello! I really need some help with my cancer ex boyfriend... We broke up about two yrs ago & he decides that we should
Im trying to figure out how to word this so I can get my point across..... Do cancer males like to experience i.e live
What's your dream career? Or are u doing your dream career? Name your sign and othe aspect that have to do with your car
Hey! I'm new here(and a cancer) Do you know if there is a difference between june and july cancers?For those who might k
I just called my sister (Cancer) out about not telling me about my niece's wedding. She told me she didn't know before h
There's a thread for cancer woman, so I thought I should make one for the cancer man. So, What say you ?
I am a Pisces female. My lover/FWB of 3 years is a Cancer. We met when his ex (Capricorn) left him. My soon 2b ex was ca
do you crabs get jealous in love relationships? if so, to what lengths would you go to eliminate what you felt to be 'c
Which sun signs would you like to know more about ? All the sun signs are so boring to me. Not sure if I'm being lazy
umm. ok so i was not really in mood of asking this question. but i couldn't help it. there is this cancer i am getting
He is a little older than me...What turns them on? should I take more of the lead? I want to know what makes their blood
Ok so I am cancer ,I dnt no if other cancer going thru this but this yr I had several life lessons ,I had things that ha
Along with Taurus, I've never met a Cancer that I did not like. You all are very sweet and kind people with enormous hea
he's not likely to change and he's not even likely to remember the word i had with him tomorrow cos he drinks to excess every single day.
it's no good. i have to friend-zone him. he knows the deal cos he said it himself...if she doesn't like him then he knows there's no chance for both of us. he's never had kids and so i'm not sure he understands. i told him that it really isn't a personal decision of mine but it's just unfortunate that i have responsibilities i have to put before anyone i'm dating.
like i said, he won't remember the talk and so i'll have to have it all over again tomorrow before alcohol has passed his lips.