Point noted. I don't understand why he keeps me around though or keeps inviting me. That's what's puzzling. So now I'll just avoid him all together cause I'm lost.
What is this test I heaar cancer guys do? (Page 2)
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Posted by MondayMorningYou haven't listed a single bad quality yet...
Interested to know...
How does a Cancer man feel about a woman who has more money / younger / more attractive than he is?
Posted by rabidtalkerI didn't quite get what you meant here Rabid?Posted by MondayMorningYou haven't listed a single bad quality yet...
Interested to know...
How does a Cancer man feel about a woman who has more money / younger / more attractive than he is?
click to expand
Posted by ShaniajamI can't give you all the answers but am trying to comment so it maybe helps you, and I am sorry if I am wrong or mis-interpret - but men - women - everyone can and will spend time and attention on people they like, but it does not always mean they are serious about you.Posted by MondayMorningPoint noted. I don't understand why he keeps me around though or keeps inviting me. That's what's puzzling. So now I'll just avoid him all together cause I'm lost.
Mmmm @Shaniajam I dated a Taurus for a very long time and he was fine with his friends hitting on me - he felt quite proud people wanted his woman actually. Was only after we broke up that he got jealous and actually threatened to hit a guy who was trying to ask me out.
Also dated an Aquarius who seemed almost oblivious if people hit on me, so lost was he in his world. Dated a Scorpio (the allegedly most jealous sign) and whole he was possessive he was pretty cool about y male friends and whatever.
My Crab is a totally different. That guy is seriously crazy jealous. I mean, he seriously imagines these situations and the mail man was friendly to me and he said he wanted to kill the guy. I have never seen jealousy like it. It's all in his head completely but I can't imagine a situation where he would go around allowing his friends to hit on me. He'd go nuts in that situation
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My Cancer is crabby, has serious mood swings, pushes me away sometimes -but his message never wavers. He is clear - he sees me as the girl he wants to marry, he does not want to lose me, if I am not around he feels miserable, he does not want any other man to even breathe in my direction. He is crabby, but he is also like a caveman wanting to drag the maiden out of the way and keep her for his own.
I have dated guys before, guys who liked me, called me up a lot, spend time on me, wanted me to meet their friends, wanted me to go to parties with them - but they did not love me - they did not see me as potentially their future wife - and THOSE guys would not care if their friends hit on me.
So I think what I am saying is that while not every person is jealous, as a rule if a guy is okay with that kind of stuff I think he is not seeing you as "his woman".
Posted by MondayMorningHow does a cancer man feel about a woman who has more money, younger and is more attractive than him? There's nothing bad about any of that! It's all good stuff, who wouldn't go for that? 😄Posted by rabidtalkerI didn't quite get what you meant here Rabid?Posted by MondayMorningYou haven't listed a single bad quality yet...
Interested to know...
How does a Cancer man feel about a woman who has more money / younger / more attractive than he is?
click to expand
These are all good things.
Does it mean the woman will be bossy, entitled or mean to him? that's not something I'd assume just because she has money or looks.
Will he be shy? Possibly but he might be that way with any woman he likes it just depends on the crab
Some men may not like those qualities, preferring to be the breadwinner but me and many of my male friends are fine with it either way. There's nothing wrong with being pulled up rather than being pulled down by your partner.
Posted by rabidtalkerahh thanks buddy, I understand now.Posted by MondayMorningHow does a cancer man feel about a woman who has more money, younger and is more attractive than him? There's nothing bad about any of that! It's all good stuff, who wouldn't go for that? 😄Posted by rabidtalkerI didn't quite get what you meant here Rabid?Posted by MondayMorningYou haven't listed a single bad quality yet...
Interested to know...
How does a Cancer man feel about a woman who has more money / younger / more attractive than he is?
These are all good things.
Does it mean the woman will be bossy, entitled or mean to him? that's not something I'd assume just because she has money or looks.
Will he be shy? Possibly but he might be that way with any woman he likes it just depends on the crab
Some men may not like those qualities, preferring to be the breadwinner but me and many of my male friends are fine with it either way. There's nothing wrong with being pulled up rather than being pulled down by your partner.
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I was asking in reference to what a previous poster had written than Cancer men would tend to feel "safer" with girls they felt were less attractive or less interesting or whatever and was wondering how they would react to a girl that was the other direction, if it would create insecurity?
MNy crab said to me, "when you meet a girl you think is too good for you, you know she is the right girl, and that's how I feel about you", but then his insecurity does cause him to behave badly sometimes. Which creates insecurity in me 🙂
My Cancers in security threatens us really, because it causes him to push me away and behave crabbily, and when he does it I feel rejected and hurt. I feel sometimes I have to tell him 1000 times a day I am not going anywhere. He seems to want to test that theory! Sometimes it is tiring.
Posted by MondayMorningPosted by ShaniajamI can't give you all the answers but am trying to comment so it maybe helps you, and I am sorry if I am wrong or mis-interpret - but men - women - everyone can and will spend time and attention on people they like, but it does not always mean they are serious about you.Posted by MondayMorningPoint noted. I don't understand why he keeps me around though or keeps inviting me. That's what's puzzling. So now I'll just avoid him all together cause I'm lost.
Mmmm @Shaniajam I dated a Taurus for a very long time and he was fine with his friends hitting on me - he felt quite proud people wanted his woman actually. Was only after we broke up that he got jealous and actually threatened to hit a guy who was trying to ask me out.
Also dated an Aquarius who seemed almost oblivious if people hit on me, so lost was he in his world. Dated a Scorpio (the allegedly most jealous sign) and whole he was possessive he was pretty cool about y male friends and whatever.
My Crab is a totally different. That guy is seriously crazy jealous. I mean, he seriously imagines these situations and the mail man was friendly to me and he said he wanted to kill the guy. I have never seen jealousy like it. It's all in his head completely but I can't imagine a situation where he would go around allowing his friends to hit on me. He'd go nuts in that situation
My Cancer is crabby, has serious mood swings, pushes me away sometimes -but his message never wavers. He is clear - he sees me as the girl he wants to marry, he does not want to lose me, if I am not around he feels miserable, he does not want any other man to even breathe in my direction. He is crabby, but he is also like a caveman wanting to drag the maiden out of the way and keep her for his own.
I have dated guys before, guys who liked me, called me up a lot, spend time on me, wanted me to meet their friends, wanted me to go to parties with them - but they did not love me - they did not see me as potentially their future wife - and THOSE guys would not care if their friends hit on me.
So I think what I am saying is that while not every person is jealous, as a rule if a guy is okay with that kind of stuff I think he is not seeing you as "his woman".
click to expand
You opened my eyes.... Wide open. Thank you for this.
I might be wrong @Shaniahjam, but if I am you would find out. Pull away / walk away and gently let him know that you feel you're looking for something a little more. If he wants you, he will be calling you within 30 days to do whatever he can to woo you.
Also @Shaniajam you know...It took me a very long time to figure it, because i have dated men who showered me in nice words /affection /time / cute text messages and all of that stuff which makes you think "Oh wow, he must like me", and they DID like me - but it does not mean they like you wife material. So that depends on what YOU are looking for. If you are fine with a casual boyfriend with no future potential that might be fine.
The guy before this one, seriously, this guy chased me for close to a year and then when we were dating something just felt...hmm...not right. He was always calling /inviting me to stuff but he made me feel not quite clear on what he wanted from me, how he felt or his intentions. He kept saying he liked me so much but was scared of a relationship etc.
It was confusing for me - felt like mixed messages. While we were dating he met someone else, much younger than me (15 year younger than me) and cheated on me with her - and within 4 weeks was officially "in a relationship" with her.
When I asked him outright about it later on, and explained how much that shit was abusive to me, he admitted he thought I was waaaaay hot - but as he did not have kids yet, at mid thirties I was always "too old" to have real potential as a girlfriend or future wife so he was never serious about me.
Didn;t mean he did not like me a LOT, miss me, feel affection, want to spend time with me, buy me valentines cards p- but if did mean that if I had come wrapped in a red envelope with a rose up my ass it still would not have been good enough for him.
So I have come to learn - if they see you as their future - THEY WILL TELL YOU and hey will act like it. they might drive you crazy (my crab and I are probably going to break up soon over his crabby behavior) but I just think men for the most part do not leave you wondering.
The guy before this one, seriously, this guy chased me for close to a year and then when we were dating something just felt...hmm...not right. He was always calling /inviting me to stuff but he made me feel not quite clear on what he wanted from me, how he felt or his intentions. He kept saying he liked me so much but was scared of a relationship etc.
It was confusing for me - felt like mixed messages. While we were dating he met someone else, much younger than me (15 year younger than me) and cheated on me with her - and within 4 weeks was officially "in a relationship" with her.
When I asked him outright about it later on, and explained how much that shit was abusive to me, he admitted he thought I was waaaaay hot - but as he did not have kids yet, at mid thirties I was always "too old" to have real potential as a girlfriend or future wife so he was never serious about me.
Didn;t mean he did not like me a LOT, miss me, feel affection, want to spend time with me, buy me valentines cards p- but if did mean that if I had come wrapped in a red envelope with a rose up my ass it still would not have been good enough for him.
So I have come to learn - if they see you as their future - THEY WILL TELL YOU and hey will act like it. they might drive you crazy (my crab and I are probably going to break up soon over his crabby behavior) but I just think men for the most part do not leave you wondering.
Posted by HighTideIs this genuinely true?Posted by ilove2dream
I think this is a good question tho, any cancer men out there aware of what kind of games you play when dating?
First, We come off as sweet and loving to draw you in. Also we like to rock your world in the bedroom as an incentive to keep getting to know us.
Then we begin the emotional tricks to see how you will react in a various amount of situations. If you don't eventually show your most vulnerable side to us, the one you don't show other people, then we will just toy with you until you figure it out what we want. As gross as this sounds, you literally have to be willing to take an actual shit on a Cancer man if he asks you to or at least be open to it down the line.We get off at you doing things you wouldn't do for other people and only for us. We like the secrets just between the two of us. We feel it brings us closer together and builds a trusting bond in that we can both show each other our best and worst sides and not be embarrassed. Once the woman figures this out, she might feel liberated that she can let it all hang out in front of a Cancer Man.
Finally,once you have past the tests, we begin to act like our normal true selves and start to do anything for you to show our love and the emotional drama will be cut to a bare minimum. You will get out absolute best side for a long time unless u start trying to pay us back for the game we played, which were just to make sure you really wanted to be with us at our best and worst. You can't hold resentment for the games we played or it would have been all in vain the trouble you went through.click to expand
It is so manipulative to behave like that. What about how the other person feels? Or their confusion when you start behaving differently?
My crab was like this...all sweet and lovely and then being different.
Crazy part is I think he does this because he really, really likes me - but the truth is he is going top push me away and lose me because I don't like being tested. His tests hurt my feelings. It seems like all the while he is "testing" me, he is breaking the warm bond and easy trust we built.
Posted by MondayMorningI'm a Cancer, and I think doing these tests stem from insecurity. It's always better to go with the flow and be willing to be hurt, fellow Cancers.Posted by HighTideIs this genuinely true?Posted by ilove2dream
I think this is a good question tho, any cancer men out there aware of what kind of games you play when dating?
First, We come off as sweet and loving to draw you in. Also we like to rock your world in the bedroom as an incentive to keep getting to know us.
Then we begin the emotional tricks to see how you will react in a various amount of situations. If you don't eventually show your most vulnerable side to us, the one you don't show other people, then we will just toy with you until you figure it out what we want. As gross as this sounds, you literally have to be willing to take an actual shit on a Cancer man if he asks you to or at least be open to it down the line.We get off at you doing things you wouldn't do for other people and only for us. We like the secrets just between the two of us. We feel it brings us closer together and builds a trusting bond in that we can both show each other our best and worst sides and not be embarrassed. Once the woman figures this out, she might feel liberated that she can let it all hang out in front of a Cancer Man.
Finally,once you have past the tests, we begin to act like our normal true selves and start to do anything for you to show our love and the emotional drama will be cut to a bare minimum. You will get out absolute best side for a long time unless u start trying to pay us back for the game we played, which were just to make sure you really wanted to be with us at our best and worst. You can't hold resentment for the games we played or it would have been all in vain the trouble you went through.
It is so manipulative to behave like that. What about how the other person feels? Or their confusion when you start behaving differently?
My crab was like this...all sweet and lovely and then being different.
Crazy part is I think he does this because he really, really likes me - but the truth is he is going top push me away and lose me because I don't like being tested. His tests hurt my feelings. It seems like all the while he is "testing" me, he is breaking the warm bond and easy trust we built.
click to expand
Doing these tests are immoral and selfish. Us Cancers are here to nurture others, not our own anxieties. The Crab has a shell for a reason. It is in our nature to get hurt, but also to rise above it. In the end, we thrive in an environment where we can nurture others, not fuck with them.
@notsosure I think you over simplify a little there.
Women have it harder than you think. We live in a world where our closest desire as human beings is to make relationships, connections and to give and receive love, which is our most valuable and important experience on this planet.
It would be a lot easier to do that if people did not lie / play games / connive and generally confuse in order to get attention / sex or massage their own fragile egos. Remember a lot of these women ask for help because they are confused - which is the result of someone confusing them.
More to the point, the reason it confuses them, is because they cannot actually comprehend the douche bag behavior -which shows that they themselves are good people.
You can be a strong person - acting with courage, honesty, dignity and make yourself open to vulnerability in a really beautiful way - and people will come along every day of the week and take advantage of you. this is why so many people avoid vulnerability. It opens you to the hurt of others.
These guys don't act like a douche on the first date -they spend days, weeks, months, years convining you that they are otherwise and that you can trust them, and then once you are attached - they change.
I do not think "strength" lies in desensitising yourself to the point this butter no longer hurts you. I actually think once you have done that you have lost an essential part of your humanity.
"Strength" lies in actually getting it hurt, getting it out (with friends to a therapist on a forum) and then having the ball breaking courage to get back up and try again, hoping that this time your love, trust and hope is placed in someone more worthy.
Women have it harder than you think. We live in a world where our closest desire as human beings is to make relationships, connections and to give and receive love, which is our most valuable and important experience on this planet.
It would be a lot easier to do that if people did not lie / play games / connive and generally confuse in order to get attention / sex or massage their own fragile egos. Remember a lot of these women ask for help because they are confused - which is the result of someone confusing them.
More to the point, the reason it confuses them, is because they cannot actually comprehend the douche bag behavior -which shows that they themselves are good people.
You can be a strong person - acting with courage, honesty, dignity and make yourself open to vulnerability in a really beautiful way - and people will come along every day of the week and take advantage of you. this is why so many people avoid vulnerability. It opens you to the hurt of others.
These guys don't act like a douche on the first date -they spend days, weeks, months, years convining you that they are otherwise and that you can trust them, and then once you are attached - they change.
I do not think "strength" lies in desensitising yourself to the point this butter no longer hurts you. I actually think once you have done that you have lost an essential part of your humanity.
"Strength" lies in actually getting it hurt, getting it out (with friends to a therapist on a forum) and then having the ball breaking courage to get back up and try again, hoping that this time your love, trust and hope is placed in someone more worthy.
I am not sure that is true at all.
I have met men who aren't interested in me
I have met men that are
The times I have had a problem distinguishing has been when the guy was lying in some way and that makes it hard. I tend to trust people because I am honest myself
I have met men who aren't interested in me
I have met men that are
The times I have had a problem distinguishing has been when the guy was lying in some way and that makes it hard. I tend to trust people because I am honest myself
I have a question -
I've been really confused.
I started speaking to this cancer man two weeks ago. I'm really infatuated by the fact that he's so intellectual and smart and when we're together I'd catch him staring at me and he's very attentive and sweet in way.
But he's confusing I don't know if he likes me or not - when we text he's very "to the point" he's not quite interesting but when we together we can speak for hours or he will be there listening to me.
I've never met a guy as challenging as him - what do I do? Do I forget about him or do I stick around.
I've been really confused.
I started speaking to this cancer man two weeks ago. I'm really infatuated by the fact that he's so intellectual and smart and when we're together I'd catch him staring at me and he's very attentive and sweet in way.
But he's confusing I don't know if he likes me or not - when we text he's very "to the point" he's not quite interesting but when we together we can speak for hours or he will be there listening to me.
I've never met a guy as challenging as him - what do I do? Do I forget about him or do I stick around.
Posted by IntellectualBettyMake your own thread. Only assholes piggy back on to someone else's thread for advice.
I have a question -
I've been really confused.
I started speaking to this cancer man two weeks ago. I'm really infatuated by the fact that he's so intellectual and smart and when we're together I'd catch him staring at me and he's very attentive and sweet in way.
But he's confusing I don't know if he likes me or not - when we text he's very "to the point" he's not quite interesting but when we together we can speak for hours or he will be there listening to me.
I've never met a guy as challenging as him - what do I do? Do I forget about him or do I stick around.
Also, short answer- if you have to ask, you already know the answer.
Posted by starwars/pushes starwars button from an Year ago and gives her a cup of tea.
i agree on the reaction part. all my crab exs used to do that. the last one took it to extreme though. its like they purposely push my buttons to get a reaction. not my cup of tea
Posted by starwarsWould you date a Cancer again?Posted by Secret/sips teaPosted by starwars/pushes starwars button from an Year ago and gives her a cup of tea.
i agree on the reaction part. all my crab exs used to do that. the last one took it to extreme though. its like they purposely push my buttons to get a reaction. not my cup of teaclick to expand
Posted by MagicMonaThis has been my experience. I dropped the ball and walked away. They can find someone else to play games with. I have much to offer someone, but not to a manchild who is unworthy.
none of this works when you can see through it and you know what they are doing. they look for reactions but they get weird when you don't give them any. they want you to think they are so great, but they get upset with you when you remain unimpressed. even when they try to side step, watch how funny they react when you block those sides and make them come direct. they want to hide so bad, it's almost painful to watch them cringe. but they bring it on themselves; not everyone will allow you to play with them and throw your ego around. you're not here to love; you're just using ppl as an ego boost, and that is pathetic. playing the victims while trying to victimize and use people, before side stepping away again.
all it is is ego backed by unstable emotion. the sweet shit is just an act to initiate your interest. not all crabs do this, but too many do. one reason we will never get along - i hate cowards and people who shun responsibility while simultaneously trying to appear like they are angels. bitches in my eyes.
Not sure where y'all finding these dodgy crabs. I've only ever had good experience with crabs. Romantically and platonically.
Hmmm Maybe it's because they get my weirdness?? I don't know but the two crabs in my life (husband and a male friend) are the most kind, patient and loving people. Quietly confident which draws me to them, they are just good people.
Both these crabs can be moody and withdraw but don't we all? It's how we handle it. I leave my crab to muse and he does the same for me. In the 8 year union there has been a handful of arguments and that's down to miscommunication due to us BOTH being in moods so neither can see the wood through the trees. We argue about silly stuff, no major fall outs.
I don't get the crab hate but based on the post Mona quoted and I can where the misconception is coming from. I can only says that's an arsehole crab, there's one in every sign.
Hmmm Maybe it's because they get my weirdness?? I don't know but the two crabs in my life (husband and a male friend) are the most kind, patient and loving people. Quietly confident which draws me to them, they are just good people.
Both these crabs can be moody and withdraw but don't we all? It's how we handle it. I leave my crab to muse and he does the same for me. In the 8 year union there has been a handful of arguments and that's down to miscommunication due to us BOTH being in moods so neither can see the wood through the trees. We argue about silly stuff, no major fall outs.
I don't get the crab hate but based on the post Mona quoted and I can where the misconception is coming from. I can only says that's an arsehole crab, there's one in every sign.
I have met a cancer man over a year ago.. we were friends and Did the same workout class.. about 8mths ago he asked for my number.. I had no love interest at all just friends.. he ended up asking my to go out I didn't feel like it so I declined.. a few days later I asked him to meet me at a club.. he did we danced and talked I was to buzzed to drive so we went back to his place and had a few more drinks.. he kissed me and things lead to another real fast.. surprisingly I did hesitate with any of that.. we had fun and it was amazing.. since then 8mths down the road we are getting extremely close... he has stood me up, not texted for days, all that great stuff pretty early on. But we still are friends who sleep with eachother and hangout.. I dumped all my feelings early on and still till this day I do... he said he dont want a relationship last week so I told him I understand but that I have to move on.. I didn't contact him nor did he try to contact me for 5 days.. ( for the past 8mths we text allday everyday) on sat I got a text from him asking if Its gona just be like that me ignoring him.. I replied No.. 3hrs later 12am he texed wyd? I didn't respond then 3am he called and texted a few times I didn't answer.. I replied in the afternoon that I wasnt ignoring him... no response.. lately when he knows I ignore him he will do the same to me.. he never did b4 .. I decided to call him blocked so I can chat because over all I care and miss him.. he answers and everything is good.. he called me later about 8 to come hang out.. I did.. but what I didn't kno was his whole family was there.. mom, brother sister,aunt uncles, cousins. Etc....lolol.. he introduced me to all of them.. they all were really nice and made me feel comfortable.. I dont speak lots of Spanish but it didnt stop me from introducing myself or trying to talk ?... im just confused.. I'm in love with my "friend" I want to be with him.. he said he dont want a relationship then turns around and introduces me to his family?? Why?? We been in eachother life 8mths ... is he stringing me along?? I dont kno how to go about this... somebody please help me make sense of this.. I wana be a team with this man..
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