Placidd
@Placidd
12 Years
Comments: 44 · Posts: 353 · Topics: 16
Am I Missing Something?
the next two times we spent time together (which was last week) she would play happy songs (one I specifically remember was “me gustas tu”, big confusion there). we really enjoyed ourselves and had fun having the other’s company. Since may till now we had both felt happy just to talk to each other.
Where I think everything had changed:
Friday, we spent time together getting dinner and watching a movie. She started falling asleep because of the food and asked if I could take her back. She apologized profusely and I told her “seeing you makes me happy, and I feel like seeing me makes you happy. But sometimes things like this happen.” On the way back I was explaining to her that I was still getting used to her being the type who needs space to do her own thing and that when I start having feelings for someone I lose some of my identity for the relationship that is building. She said she understood and that its hard getting used to someone’s habits and me she enjoyed dinner as I dropped her off. After I got home I told her I was glad I got to see her again (so she wouldn’t feel bad about falling asleep)
The weekend comes around, we don’t talk much Saturday, none at all Sunday (I sent her a good morning, have a good day text), and most of Monday. She gets a hold of me Monday afternoon and we have a short conversation before she goes out to see a movie.
Currently this week she had been distant and dismissive. I wrote it off internally as her being busy and doing her own thing. Tuesday I asked if she was busy next evening and she told me she had plans, but continued a short conversation with me. She soon after got dismissive again so I wished her a good night and went to bed. I was looking to add her as well on facebook when I realized that the friend request was no longer there; apparently she rescinded it. But, whenever I post something on snapchat she looks at it…I don’t know how to stop people I don’t add from seeing my stuff.
I felt a upset because I was trusting her to be patient enough for me to let her back into my life, and doing that meant to me she didn’t want to have that connection anymore. I was able to convince myself to think “well I guess its because of what I told her two weeks ago” and laid the thought to rest.
We didn’t speak very much yesterday because we both had things to do so our conversation was short. When I would try to keep it going I was met with little effort. I’ve started to feel that through her action over facebook and recent behavior she is distancing herself from me for a reason and not just wanting space.
I have in mind that since I hadn’t told her that I wanted to try things again with her she moved on and wanted to give me the idea, but that shouldn’t be the case because I had been dropping obvious hints about how I felt towards her. I also believe since I am starting to grow attached to her she is pulling away. Am I understanding the situation correctly?
Where I think everything had changed:
Friday, we spent time together getting dinner and watching a movie. She started falling asleep because of the food and asked if I could take her back. She apologized profusely and I told her “seeing you makes me happy, and I feel like seeing me makes you happy. But sometimes things like this happen.” On the way back I was explaining to her that I was still getting used to her being the type who needs space to do her own thing and that when I start having feelings for someone I lose some of my identity for the relationship that is building. She said she understood and that its hard getting used to someone’s habits and me she enjoyed dinner as I dropped her off. After I got home I told her I was glad I got to see her again (so she wouldn’t feel bad about falling asleep)
The weekend comes around, we don’t talk much Saturday, none at all Sunday (I sent her a good morning, have a good day text), and most of Monday. She gets a hold of me Monday afternoon and we have a short conversation before she goes out to see a movie.
Currently this week she had been distant and dismissive. I wrote it off internally as her being busy and doing her own thing. Tuesday I asked if she was busy next evening and she told me she had plans, but continued a short conversation with me. She soon after got dismissive again so I wished her a good night and went to bed. I was looking to add her as well on facebook when I realized that the friend request was no longer there; apparently she rescinded it. But, whenever I post something on snapchat she looks at it…I don’t know how to stop people I don’t add from seeing my stuff.
I felt a upset because I was trusting her to be patient enough for me to let her back into my life, and doing that meant to me she didn’t want to have that connection anymore. I was able to convince myself to think “well I guess its because of what I told her two weeks ago” and laid the thought to rest.
We didn’t speak very much yesterday because we both had things to do so our conversation was short. When I would try to keep it going I was met with little effort. I’ve started to feel that through her action over facebook and recent behavior she is distancing herself from me for a reason and not just wanting space.
I have in mind that since I hadn’t told her that I wanted to try things again with her she moved on and wanted to give me the idea, but that shouldn’t be the case because I had been dropping obvious hints about how I felt towards her. I also believe since I am starting to grow attached to her she is pulling away. Am I understanding the situation correctly?
My first thought is that she feels rejected. What's her venus, if I may ask?
Posted by SuperMercurialI forgot to mention that I told her I wasn't going to put up with that bullshit if she still talked to him. I asked her about that too. her reply was that she dumped him and blocked his messages even though he still tried to talk to her, and got her "emotional baggage" out of the way with other guys before getting back in touch with me.
What if after your month together, her ex came back and they banged and she is going to run off with him again...
Good point though, I understand that it is possible. If that happens then it happens, there's not much I can do about it.
Posted by HappyCapperher planets:
My first thought is that she feels rejected. What's her venus, if I may ask?
asc: scorpio
sun: cap
moon: aries
mars: cancer
venus: aquarius
mine:
asc: scorpio
sun: pisces
moon: taurus
mars: aquarius
venus: aquarius
Posted by PlaciddHmm. This is difficult. I do feel she might feel rejected, so to counter that, how about asking her out and see how she acts/reacts. She maaay have lost interest, maybe because of that guy or...because she feels rejected...or because she just doesn't feel it. But I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you. Ask her out and see how she responds. Imo.Posted by HappyCapperher planets:
My first thought is that she feels rejected. What's her venus, if I may ask?
asc: scorpio
sun: cap
moon: aries
mars: cancer
venus: aquarius
mine:
asc: scorpio
sun: pisces
moon: taurus
mars: aquarius
venus: aquariusclick to expand
Posted by HappyCapperI see. That isnt really fair for me though because I explicitly stated that I wanted to do things slowly and why I hadnt accepted her..Im not arguing, just complaining haha.Posted by PlaciddHmm. This is difficult. I do feel she might feel rejected, so to counter that, how about asking her out and see how she acts/reacts. She maaay have lost interest, maybe because of that guy or...because she feels rejected...or because she just doesn't feel it. But I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you. Ask her out and see how she responds. Imo.Posted by HappyCapperher planets:
My first thought is that she feels rejected. What's her venus, if I may ask?
asc: scorpio
sun: cap
moon: aries
mars: cancer
venus: aquarius
mine:
asc: scorpio
sun: pisces
moon: taurus
mars: aquarius
venus: aquariusclick to expand
by "maaaayyyy have lost interest" I also have a feeling that you mean chances pretty much are yes.. but we're both being optimistic 🙂
if i come off as standoffish please excuse that. been getting no sleep because of work, this, and a research project at school.
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
Posted by PlaciddSeems the two of us may have different views on what "taking things slow" means. I didn't mean a huge date, even though I realise now that it may have sounded like it, but just a "grab a bite" sort of thing. Just how slow do you want to take it?Posted by HappyCapperI see. That isnt really fair for me though because I explicitly stated that I wanted to do things slowly and why I hadnt accepted her..Im not arguing, just complaining haha.Posted by PlaciddHmm. This is difficult. I do feel she might feel rejected, so to counter that, how about asking her out and see how she acts/reacts. She maaay have lost interest, maybe because of that guy or...because she feels rejected...or because she just doesn't feel it. But I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you. Ask her out and see how she responds. Imo.Posted by HappyCapperher planets:
My first thought is that she feels rejected. What's her venus, if I may ask?
asc: scorpio
sun: cap
moon: aries
mars: cancer
venus: aquarius
mine:
asc: scorpio
sun: pisces
moon: taurus
mars: aquarius
venus: aquarius
by "maaaayyyy have lost interest" I also have a feeling that you mean chances pretty much are yes.. but we're both being optimistic 🙂
if i come off as standoffish please excuse that. been getting no sleep because of work, this, and a research project at school.click to expand
I don't think you're coming off as standoffish at all.🙂
Posted by HappyCapperwe're on the same page, haha thats what I meant by taking things slowly 🙂Posted by PlaciddSeems the two of us may have different views on what "taking things slow" means. I didn't mean a huge date, even though I realise now that it may have sounded like it, but just a "grab a bite" sort of thing. Just how slow do you want to take it?Posted by HappyCapperI see. That isnt really fair for me though because I explicitly stated that I wanted to do things slowly and why I hadnt accepted her..Im not arguing, just complaining haha.Posted by PlaciddHmm. This is difficult. I do feel she might feel rejected, so to counter that, how about asking her out and see how she acts/reacts. She maaay have lost interest, maybe because of that guy or...because she feels rejected...or because she just doesn't feel it. But I wouldn't give up just yet if I were you. Ask her out and see how she responds. Imo.Posted by HappyCapperher planets:
My first thought is that she feels rejected. What's her venus, if I may ask?
asc: scorpio
sun: cap
moon: aries
mars: cancer
venus: aquarius
mine:
asc: scorpio
sun: pisces
moon: taurus
mars: aquarius
venus: aquarius
by "maaaayyyy have lost interest" I also have a feeling that you mean chances pretty much are yes.. but we're both being optimistic 🙂
if i come off as standoffish please excuse that. been getting no sleep because of work, this, and a research project at school.
I don't think you're coming off as standoffish at all.🙂click to expand
If people read/know your topics from way back, they wouldn't advise you to put yourself front in center AGAIN to someone who's a player, unless they are players themselves or have weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
Your instinct to be cautious here and to think things through is important...listen to it. And if it pisses her off...then she never addressed her behavior from the past. Don't be fooled by the pissy reaction she had ....a person with integrity and decency, especially considering she did what she did, would completely understand where you come from. She'd be..humble and grateful for a second chance and not entitled. Writing's on the wall.
Your instinct to be cautious here and to think things through is important...listen to it. And if it pisses her off...then she never addressed her behavior from the past. Don't be fooled by the pissy reaction she had ....a person with integrity and decency, especially considering she did what she did, would completely understand where you come from. She'd be..humble and grateful for a second chance and not entitled. Writing's on the wall.
Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?click to expand
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.
Posted by Damnatalol@weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
If people read/know your topics from way back, they wouldn't advise you to put yourself front in center AGAIN to someone who's a player, unless they are players themselves or have weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
Your instinct to be cautious here and to think things through is important...listen to it. And if it pisses her off...then she never addressed her behavior from the past. Don't be fooled by the pissy reaction she had ....a person with integrity and decency, especially considering she did what she did, would completely understand where you come from. She'd be..humble and grateful for a second chance and not entitled. Writing's on the wall.
I haven't read his posts from way back and that may put me at a disadvantage here. Very true.
Posted by Damnatafor the "men of her past"
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
she had ended things with her ex near the beginning of this year (closer to december than january), and had just been going around "being single". she got in touch with me after she claimed she got rid of her baggage. you could still be right however.
by ALL the way back do you mean what? no contact?
im not glossing over the past either, fortunately. whats done was done back then and it is what it is.
edit, I didnt read all the updates until now, all your input helps 🙂
Posted by HappyCapperand yes my posts have to do with that topic.Posted by Damnatalol@weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
If people read/know your topics from way back, they wouldn't advise you to put yourself front in center AGAIN to someone who's a player, unless they are players themselves or have weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
Your instinct to be cautious here and to think things through is important...listen to it. And if it pisses her off...then she never addressed her behavior from the past. Don't be fooled by the pissy reaction she had ....a person with integrity and decency, especially considering she did what she did, would completely understand where you come from. She'd be..humble and grateful for a second chance and not entitled. Writing's on the wall.
I haven't read his posts from way back and that may put me at a disadvantage here. Very true.click to expand
glad you remembered me 🙂
Placidd..
If you want to be ok with yourself on all accounts, then take a gamble on asking her out again.
But I cannot stress enough how on guard you should be with this person.
The good thing? Aries Moon doesn't have endurance when it comes to playing games...so she can't play you for months. She'll trip over herself sooner or later.
If you want it in your heart to give it a go..do so. But look objectively, from a third person perspective, at the entire dynamic. Hone on observation skills.
I think she won't be able to keep the act going and she will drift once more. I hope I am wrong but nothing in her behavior shows me she is making any ammends, which tells me nothing really changed. And the sister story, even if it was true...she used it as leverage. Eyes wide open. She should be the won winning you over here because she is the one who fucked up.
If you want to be ok with yourself on all accounts, then take a gamble on asking her out again.
But I cannot stress enough how on guard you should be with this person.
The good thing? Aries Moon doesn't have endurance when it comes to playing games...so she can't play you for months. She'll trip over herself sooner or later.
If you want it in your heart to give it a go..do so. But look objectively, from a third person perspective, at the entire dynamic. Hone on observation skills.
I think she won't be able to keep the act going and she will drift once more. I hope I am wrong but nothing in her behavior shows me she is making any ammends, which tells me nothing really changed. And the sister story, even if it was true...she used it as leverage. Eyes wide open. She should be the won winning you over here because she is the one who fucked up.
Posted by SuperMercurialHe didn't accept the FB-invitation andPosted by HappyCapperWhy would she feel rejected? Give me reasons. That's ridiculous.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?click to expand
"Next time we hang out (condensing the shit out of this here), after a really fun day I ask her: “what are we doing?” She tells me that the way she sees it we are getting to know each other again and seeing where things go. I tell her that at the point I am in my life, if I had something with someone I would want to take things slowly."
I'd say some people might feel rejected by this.
Posted by HappyCapperWell we have to be honest here, we have bias with our sun signs. Maybe not when you are a Virgo cuz Virgos revel in throwing other Virgos under the bus lmao.Posted by Damnatalol@weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
If people read/know your topics from way back, they wouldn't advise you to put yourself front in center AGAIN to someone who's a player, unless they are players themselves or have weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
Your instinct to be cautious here and to think things through is important...listen to it. And if it pisses her off...then she never addressed her behavior from the past. Don't be fooled by the pissy reaction she had ....a person with integrity and decency, especially considering she did what she did, would completely understand where you come from. She'd be..humble and grateful for a second chance and not entitled. Writing's on the wall.
I haven't read his posts from way back and that may put me at a disadvantage here. Very true.click to expand
Posted by SuperMercurialyeah I had the thought in the back of my mind, but im glad others could tell me too so that it would reinforce the idea!Posted by DamnataThe aries moon has spoken. I really believe Damnata is correct here actually. Ouch 😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
If the most honest cap ever was still alive today, he'd say that this capricorn isn't into you.click to expand
Posted by DamnataI didn't necessarily read it like that. It could, imo, have been her begging forgiveness and feeling rejected. A lot of people don't feel rejection is a good look on them when they are at their knees, trying to mend previous wrongs. I'm not denying that you may be right, I just don't see conclusive evidence as to her playing him. What does it hurt to grab a bite with her to see her reaction and thereby sort it out? Again, get rid of the what iffs.Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.click to expand
She came back to apologize about what happened years ago and possibly strike up a friendship, and perhaps she entertained the idea of being together again, but, she doesn't want to hurt you if the feelings aren't there like they used to be.
I think she's realized that, so she's doing the slow fade.
you should just keep as friends, and move on.
I think she's realized that, so she's doing the slow fade.
you should just keep as friends, and move on.
Posted by Damnatathis makes sense. I was actually thinking to myself that not much had changed since the past, but, knowing me to be the front and center type like you said wanted to give the benefit of the doubt. I am really trying to look at it objectively because I have done it in the past with other people, but right now im having a hard time focusing since I am tired and hyped up on caffeine.
Placidd..
If you want to be ok with yourself on all accounts, then take a gamble on asking her out again.
But I cannot stress enough how on guard you should be with this person.
The good thing? Aries Moon doesn't have endurance when it comes to playing games...so she can't play you for months. She'll trip over herself sooner or later.
If you want it in your heart to give it a go..do so. But look objectively, from a third person perspective, at the entire dynamic. Hone on observation skills.
I think she won't be able to keep the act going and she will drift once more. I hope I am wrong but nothing in her behavior shows me she is making any ammends, which tells me nothing really changed. And the sister story, even if it was true...she used it as leverage. Eyes wide open. She should be the won winning you over here because she is the one who fucked up.
youre right, she is the one who messed up and should be wanting to keep trying things. I would like to ask this...for someone who wants to fix things, would that person want to have space now and then (like a cap in a regular get-to-know-you situation) or would that person be persistent?
Posted by HappyCapperI'm a romantic at heart (TELL NO ONE)Posted by DamnataI didn't necessarily read it like that. It could, imo, have been her begging forgiveness and feeling rejected. A lot of people don't feel rejection is a good look on them when they are at their knees, trying to mend previous wrongs. I'm not denying that you may be right, I just don't see conclusive evidence as to her playing him. What does it hurt to grab a bite with her to see her reaction and thereby sort it out? Again, get rid of the what iffs.Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.click to expand
Dude has a Taurus Moon, he will do what he sets out to do.
All I'm stressing is he doesn't fall into his Pisces Sun romantic stance on this until further behavior is investigated. He can go out with her, interact with her. Just not fall for someone who hasn't proven themselves to be true to him yet. Earth signs can do that going out business while investigating like mofos in their spare time until their thoughts and hearts match. Water signs? He might get swept away by the tide before he knows for SURE she's for real..and then that
Posted by DamnataLOLPosted by HappyCapperWell we have to be honest here, we have bias with our sun signs. Maybe not when you are a Virgo cuz Virgos revel in throwing other Virgos under the bus lmao.Posted by Damnatalol@weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
If people read/know your topics from way back, they wouldn't advise you to put yourself front in center AGAIN to someone who's a player, unless they are players themselves or have weird loyalty towards their sun sign.
Your instinct to be cautious here and to think things through is important...listen to it. And if it pisses her off...then she never addressed her behavior from the past. Don't be fooled by the pissy reaction she had ....a person with integrity and decency, especially considering she did what she did, would completely understand where you come from. She'd be..humble and grateful for a second chance and not entitled. Writing's on the wall.
I haven't read his posts from way back and that may put me at a disadvantage here. Very true.click to expand
Posted by DamnataNow we're talking. I agree with this.
Placidd..
If you want to be ok with yourself on all accounts, then take a gamble on asking her out again.
But I cannot stress enough how on guard you should be with this person.
The good thing? Aries Moon doesn't have endurance when it comes to playing games...so she can't play you for months. She'll trip over herself sooner or later.
If you want it in your heart to give it a go..do so. But look objectively, from a third person perspective, at the entire dynamic. Hone on observation skills.
I think she won't be able to keep the act going and she will drift once more. I hope I am wrong but nothing in her behavior shows me she is making any ammends, which tells me nothing really changed. And the sister story, even if it was true...she used it as leverage. Eyes wide open. She should be the won winning you over here because she is the one who fucked up.
Posted by PlaciddI'd sway you with my opinion on this and I don't want that. I'm a fair person.
I would like to ask this...for someone who wants to fix things, would that person want to have space now and then (like a cap in a regular get-to-know-you situation) or would that person be persistent?
Could go either way, what matters is if you can detect genuine behavior at the root of whatever path she takes. The path isn't important, the intent is.
Aries Moon on my Virgo Sun...if I fucked up and I do want you...I'm leaving no stone unturned. I won't pester for a second chance but I will make it abundantly clear to you how I am self-aware about what I did and that I truly feel regret. And then I'd let it up to you to mull it over and hope you're willing to give me a second chance. My actions would speak for themselves.
But Caps have pride so the dynamic might be different with a Cap sun/ Aries Moon. Hope one of them stumbles on this topic and helps out.
Posted by SuperMercurial1. I had no idea caps calls other people overly sensitive.Posted by HappyCapperI see...that makes the fact that caps call other people overly sensitive a hilarious projection xDPosted by SuperMercurialHe didn't accept the FB-invitation andPosted by HappyCapperWhy would she feel rejected? Give me reasons. That's ridiculous.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
"Next time we hang out (condensing the shit out of this here), after a really fun day I ask her: “what are we doing?” She tells me that the way she sees it we are getting to know each other again and seeing where things go. I tell her that at the point I am in my life, if I had something with someone I would want to take things slowly."
I'd say some people might feel rejected by this.click to expand
2. This is not about me, specifically, but about my experience with people...including myself.
3. Being overly sensitive is a very vague term - an opinion, as opposed to a fact. People read clues and hints in other people, unless they are autistic - it's human nature. How do you know that this specific girl didn't take it like rejection just because you wouldn't have?
Virgos ARE overly sensitive. @supermercurial
Posted by DamnataPrt Scr 😏Posted by HappyCapperI'm a romantic at heart (TELL NO ONE)Posted by DamnataI didn't necessarily read it like that. It could, imo, have been her begging forgiveness and feeling rejected. A lot of people don't feel rejection is a good look on them when they are at their knees, trying to mend previous wrongs. I'm not denying that you may be right, I just don't see conclusive evidence as to her playing him. What does it hurt to grab a bite with her to see her reaction and thereby sort it out? Again, get rid of the what iffs.Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.click to expand
Posted by HappyCapperWe really need a -1 button on this site.Posted by DamnataPrt Scr 😏Posted by HappyCapperI'm a romantic at heart (TELL NO ONE)Posted by DamnataI didn't necessarily read it like that. It could, imo, have been her begging forgiveness and feeling rejected. A lot of people don't feel rejection is a good look on them when they are at their knees, trying to mend previous wrongs. I'm not denying that you may be right, I just don't see conclusive evidence as to her playing him. What does it hurt to grab a bite with her to see her reaction and thereby sort it out? Again, get rid of the what iffs.Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.click to expand
Posted by DamnataNo, I totally get that. Agreed!Posted by HappyCapperI'm a romantic at heart (TELL NO ONE)Posted by DamnataI didn't necessarily read it like that. It could, imo, have been her begging forgiveness and feeling rejected. A lot of people don't feel rejection is a good look on them when they are at their knees, trying to mend previous wrongs. I'm not denying that you may be right, I just don't see conclusive evidence as to her playing him. What does it hurt to grab a bite with her to see her reaction and thereby sort it out? Again, get rid of the what iffs.Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.
Dude has a Taurus Moon, he will do what he sets out to do.
All I'm stressing is he doesn't fall into his Pisces Sun romantic stance on this until further behavior is investigated. He can go out with her, interact with her. Just not fall for someone who hasn't proven themselves to be true to him yet. Earth signs can do that going out business while investigating like mofos in their spare time until their thoughts and hearts match. Water signs? He might get swept away by the tide before he knows for SURE she's for real..and then thatclick to expand
Posted by DamnataLOLPosted by HappyCapperWe really need a -1 button on this site.Posted by DamnataPrt Scr 😏Posted by HappyCapperI'm a romantic at heart (TELL NO ONE)Posted by DamnataI didn't necessarily read it like that. It could, imo, have been her begging forgiveness and feeling rejected. A lot of people don't feel rejection is a good look on them when they are at their knees, trying to mend previous wrongs. I'm not denying that you may be right, I just don't see conclusive evidence as to her playing him. What does it hurt to grab a bite with her to see her reaction and thereby sort it out? Again, get rid of the what iffs.Posted by HappyCapperYeah, I'll give benefit of the doubt to someone who comes back and puts in work. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt if they previously screwed me over if their current actions portray a change in character.Posted by DamnataHEY!>😢
lol @ feeling rejected.
She came back to enact a fantasy with you and when it turned raw and real..she ran because she doesn't care about you at all.
My thoughts? She's feeling lonely and she probably messaged/met up with more than one man from her past...and all of them heard the sob story of her sister saying they were a good match for her
Your kind nature is allowing you to get played here. You didn't do absolutely anything wrong for her to feel "rejected"
Step ALL the way back and see if she is willing to be genuine at all (my bet is that she won't because that takes putting in work and that doesn't fall with the fantasy she has about men fawning over her off the bat, you threw a curve ball for her there but then you second guessed yourself). Doing anything at this point is playing right into the hands of someone who already fucked you over once (don't gloss over the past here).
Best of luck.
I didn't say she was rejected - I said she felt rejected. Why not give her the benefit of a doubt? Isn't it worth at least a check to get rid of the what iffs?
Coming back and being pissy when you fucked up? Sorry, I see right through that shit.click to expand
Posted by DamnataI understand. I think your opinion lies with the fact that she's pulling back because it turned genuine, and that she either realized that it wasnt something she wanted or she never wanted it. if its the latter Its kind of fcked up that some people cant be honest with themselves before committing an action. Im curious to know the opinion of yours because if it would help me be more detached toward the situation (tau moon like you said haha) that would help..if anything allow me to see things more in perspective.Posted by PlaciddI'd sway you with my opinion on this and I don't want that. I'm a fair person.
I would like to ask this...for someone who wants to fix things, would that person want to have space now and then (like a cap in a regular get-to-know-you situation) or would that person be persistent?
Could go either way, what matters is if you can detect genuine behavior at the root of whatever path she takes. The path isn't important, the intent is.
Aries Moon on my Virgo Sun...if I fucked up and I do want you...I'm leaving no stone unturned. I won't pester for a second chance but I will make it abundantly clear to you how I am self-aware about what I did and that I truly feel regret. And then I'd let it up to you to mull it over and hope you're willing to give me a second chance. My actions would speak for themselves.
But Caps have pride so the dynamic might be different with a Cap sun/ Aries Moon. Hope one of them stumbles on this topic and helps out.click to expand
I don't think she ever planned on getting back with you man. It's a harsh reality but I think she came back because things went sour with her ex. She used you as a pawn to convince herself she was moving on, but now that things are getting real between the 2 of you and you guys are moving out of the "missed you" phase, she's retreating. And her ex could very well be back in the picture.
Not even a month after my ex and I broke up I moved on to another woman. When things started going south with her, I tried calling my ex back (I knew very well that I had NO intentions of getting back with her, I just did not want to be alone and I wanted something familiar) as soon as me and my girl started working our problems out, I dropped my ex once again. Felt like an asshole, but I knew I didn't love her, and I wanted to work on things with the one I love. I had to mature and realize that when we break up its not fair for me to wander (especially back to an ex) when I know I have no intentions of moving on.
I'd leave her alone because the more you push the more she'll run. Next time she comes back, save yourself the time.
Not even a month after my ex and I broke up I moved on to another woman. When things started going south with her, I tried calling my ex back (I knew very well that I had NO intentions of getting back with her, I just did not want to be alone and I wanted something familiar) as soon as me and my girl started working our problems out, I dropped my ex once again. Felt like an asshole, but I knew I didn't love her, and I wanted to work on things with the one I love. I had to mature and realize that when we break up its not fair for me to wander (especially back to an ex) when I know I have no intentions of moving on.
I'd leave her alone because the more you push the more she'll run. Next time she comes back, save yourself the time.
Posted by PlaciddOk, but just let me add I really think Virgo/Pisces are simillar in that...we have to take chances until we figure things out. No amount of explaining by anyone else will substitute the delusions or realities we have in our mind. So just take my words with a grain of salt is all that I am saying. Otherwise, you'd have regrets about it.
Im curious to know the opinion of yours because if it would help me be more detached toward the situation (tau moon like you said haha) that would help..if anything allow me to see things more in perspective.
*incoming astro bias*
*drumroll*
Earth signs build. Whereas with Earth sign men society is ok with them being stoic and emotionally inept....cuz they're men, with Earth sign women, we don't get the same privilege. As a result, all the Earth sign women I know have this feeling of inadequacy when it comes to being in tune emotionally so then we learn early on that we need to be extra obvious in our actions when we care about someone. Our mindset is like "Maybe we are not that good with words or conveying how we feel, but we'll amp up on actions to make someone feel loved." It's because we know we cannot rely that much on emotions, that we hope and feel that our actions speak the truth for us. So when we care...we go overboard. The fact that she isn't doing this is the writing on the wall for me that she's not that invested. We make extra effort to understand the other person's mindset so what would have made sense for me was for her mind to go like "I have to convey my interest clear since I fucked up last time. He has doubts about me, as he should. I'll do my best to alleviate them and build a foundation from the beginning". We don't shy from that kind of work. I'm just not seeing it with her.
Posted by DamnataI understand completely, thank you for sharing with me. I can also say that virgo/pisces are also similar in that sense as well! 🙂Posted by Placidd
Im curious to know the opinion of yours because if it would help me be more detached toward the situation (tau moon like you said haha) that would help..if anything allow me to see things more in perspective.
Earth signs build. Whereas with Earth sign men society is ok with them being stoic and emotionally inept....cuz they're men, with Earth sign women, we don't get the same privilege. As a result, all the Earth sign women I know have this feeling of inadequacy when it comes to being in tune emotionally so then we learn early on that we need to be extra obvious in our actions when we care about someone. Our mindset is like "Maybe we are not that good with words or conveying how we feel, but we'll amp up on actions to make someone feel loved." It's because we know we cannot rely that much on emotions, that we hope and feel that our actions speak the truth for us. So when we care...we go overboard. The fact that she isn't doing this is the writing on the wall for me that she's not that invested. We make extra effort to understand the other person's mindset so what would have made sense for me was for her mind to go like "I have to convey my interest clear since I fucked up last time. He has doubts about me, as he should. I'll do my best to alleviate them and build a foundation from the beginning". We don't shy from that kind of work. I'm just not seeing it with her.
click to expand
I feel like you and Capwithean are right. as much as I would like to ask her to spend time with me this weekend I have a bad feeling in my gut; maybe its just being nervous having been turned down already, or maybe its a bad premonition...this taurus moon of mine REALLY REALLY wants to see if she would spend time with me because just to be sure..but judging from those actions like you are saying, I may not get that....Ive also dealt with this cap before and the mannerisms are the same as others.
that being said I can say I have two choices rather than 3 (which was hanging out with her)...talk to her to bring up what Capwithean said and walk away as "friends", or calmy go to my phone provider, block the number so I dont have to worry about her anymore, block her facebook, and then calmly proceed to lose my shit so I can get it all out and move on haha
Do what you feel is right for you because she'll certainly do the same, I would even venture to say that she would probably only agree to stay friends so she can keep you as back up for whenever the other dude treats her like shit again. I'm really basing all of this on myself and the way I used to operate in my immature days, you guys seem to know a lot about placements and all of that other stuff so it's a good possibility that I could be wrong, she might even agree to hang out with you. But if she's anything remotely near the cap that I am, just know she doesn't care much and you're better off accepting that now. We don't treat people that really want/love the way she's treating you.
Posted by Capwiththeanor anyone in that matter.
Do what you feel is right for you because she'll certainly do the same, I would even venture to say that she would probably only agree to stay friends so she can keep you as back up for whenever the other dude treats her like shit again. I'm really basing all of this on myself and the way I used to operate in my immature days, you guys seem to know a lot about placements and all of that other stuff so it's a good possibility that I could be wrong, she might even agree to hang out with you. But if she's anything remotely near the cap that I am, just know she doesn't care much and you're better off accepting that now. We don't treat people that really want/love the way she's treating you.
its been a good 4 months shes been split from her ex, and told me several times she had her time to be single to get rid of her baggage...I dont really know if someone can get over a 2 year relationship that quickly, so Ive always had my doubts but have had wanted her to prove it to me.
Posted by cheekyfaerieI am guessing that taking things slowly does not count as what was going on since you asked?
All I know is me, but I share her sun, rising and Venus.
If I'm sorry, I do my damndest to make it up to you and I don't mean just a verbal, "I'm sorry". Words are cheap.
You say you were taking things slow, but you were talking or texting every day and hanging out a couple times a week, yes? If I'm interested in someone, I make myself available. Once my interest starts to wane, I begin to wince every time you contact me.
If she was cheated on, her ego took a big hit. Have you guys had sex? It's possible she wanted to get back with you just to see if she could. Feel like she still has it.
we havent. what do you mean by still has it? does 4 months of her meeting guys and getting around constitute as "getting it out of her system?"
Posted by cheekyfaerieExxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxactly. no one can move on that quickly.. Ive actually been in her shoes once but luckily myself and the girl came clean to each other and were able to remain legitimate friends; so I am not surprised this may be the case. Shame it had to happen!Posted by PlaciddStill has it. As in, still sexually attractive.Posted by cheekyfaerieI am guessing that taking things slowly does not count as what was going on since you asked?
All I know is me, but I share her sun, rising and Venus.
If I'm sorry, I do my damndest to make it up to you and I don't mean just a verbal, "I'm sorry". Words are cheap.
You say you were taking things slow, but you were talking or texting every day and hanging out a couple times a week, yes? If I'm interested in someone, I make myself available. Once my interest starts to wane, I begin to wince every time you contact me.
If she was cheated on, her ego took a big hit. Have you guys had sex? It's possible she wanted to get back with you just to see if she could. Feel like she still has it.
we havent. what do you mean by still has it? does 4 months of her meeting guys and getting around constitute as "getting it out of her system?"
4mths wouldn't be long enough for me, personally. Not for something serious anyway. Having just gotten out of a 2yr relationship, I'd value my freedom too much to be tied down again.
Of course, I *have* attempted to, because someone came along and I got enamored, only to realize too late that I'd jumped the gun. It's possible she ran into you, was bowled over by the nostalgia and *thought* she was ready, only to end up realizing she'd made a mistake. Slow fading you may be easier for her than admitting she's hurt you. Again.
Edit to say: No. That doesn't sound particularly slow to me. I've been with my guy for a year and that's about all the time we get to spend together so it strikes me as a bit much for taking it slow. Ha. Or maybe we're just not fast enough. 😄click to expand
haha I would say its at a good pace. its enough to allow something you share with someone to blossom into something you two can both cherish together. thats what I wanted!
i didn't read the whole thread. as soon as i read that she left you for another, done, forever. please do not take her back.
she pulled away again when u are growing attached this time again? sorry i'm not trying to be hurtful but you sound like a doormat. many women are not attracted to doormats. they come to you when they are lonely and need an ego boost but as soon a man they are attracted to shows up, you will be dismissed again. don't do this to yourself again.
Posted by iCloud9thanks for the input 🙂
she pulled away again when u are growing attached this time again? sorry i'm not trying to be hurtful but you sound like a doormat. many women are not attracted to doormats. they come to you when they are lonely and need an ego boost but as soon a man they are attracted to shows up, you will be dismissed again. don't do this to yourself again.
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About three years ago I made a post here about someone I met who had me basically smitten with her. She quickly pulled away and ran off with someone else a month after she ended things with me.
Fast forward three years and she sent me a message apologizing for what she did. I thought hard about what I was going to say and I told her I had forgiven her because at that time I didn’t care about what had happened anymore. She thanked me for that, and that was that.
Fast forward again to may when I run into her on campus (I am in grad school, returned to my alma mater) unexpectedly. I had a final and a paper to turn in in the next half hour so I asked if we could meet up and catch up, and that I would get a hold of her. She said sure and I went on my way. Later on I get a message from her, starting a conversation with me. We go back and forth, however I am under the premise of keeping things very shallow and light. Over the next couple days she decided to send me a facebook request and add me on snapchat (I don’t use it well) [both things I will mention later but need to say now]. From here on, each day she and I have talked to each other through messaging or text, just so I can establish a fact with yall who read this.
We met up the next week. we ended up hiking and talking. LSS, the guy she was with for 2 years had been cheating on her for one, shes been single for 4mo to get rid of baggage, and she made a mistake because she let me go even though I was moving a little fast and treated me badly since she didn’t know what she wanted. She asked me why I replied to the message she sent me and I gave her the reason that I mentioned earlier. She told me the reason why she sent it to me was because her sister kept asking if she talked to me during these past three years, saying I was a nice guy and that I treated her right (blah blah blah)…That, and she also said that she couldn’t really explain why, having a lost look on her face.
Later that night when we went to grab food she asked me if I remembered where I took her for our very first date (which I did, who wouldn’t remember something that was special to you), and we continued to talk about the things in the past. The night wraps up, and we both head home.
Next time we hang out (condensing the shit out of this here), after a really fun day I ask her: “what are we doing?” She tells me that the way she sees it we are getting to know each other again and seeing where things go. I tell her that at the point I am in my life, if I had something with someone I would want to take things slowly. I also tell her the reason why I didn’t accept her friend requests was because I didn’t want to rush. She said she likes to take things slowly too, and understood me.