Cap has cheated, fuming, really need some advice!!

So last night, after my gut instinct telling me something wasn't right, I found out my cap has cheated on me.
When he told me he was going to Germany for see family, after looking through his phone I discovered that he went to Greece to see his ex, pictures of them together..

The ex : this is the girl he says he could have seen himself marrying, but they both weren't reasy to commit at the time, broke up, she went back to Greece... I interpret this as ' the one who got away'

On looking through his phone, I am not proud of how I found out, but I always trust my gut, and what I found confirmed just that.

A couple days previous we had a massive chat and I felt he opened up, and I really felt he was getting comfortable with opening up, and it bought us closer

So I guess my question is... Wth has happened?? Do caps always hang onto that one they thought they could have seen spending their life is, no matter how good a relationship is going??
And when I confront him about it.. Even thought im 100% sure will he deny deny deny?

Ignorance is indeed bliss... You may be blissfully swimming in a lovely warm pool which, unbeknownst to you in your lovely ignorance, is actually a puddle of piss :/

Glad you followed your gut.

No matter the end result, you did the right thing by trusting your own intuition! 😄

So, how exactly do you define cheating...
Because what exactly is wrong with catching up with an ex... I mean, I have no problem with it but I totally understand if you do. Just trying to clarify.
Did you and the Cap actually discuss what the terms were- where you would draw your lines etc
Did they sleep together? Was it simply the fact that he didn't tell you? Are we talking about dirty texts or what...

Forgive me if I misunderstood the situation, I would just like to know- because my ex Cap decided hanging out in a brothel & smoking meth was his thing, and that was where my line was drawn in the sand and he stepped over it lol
So definitions matter haha

Posted by wagtail
So, how exactly do you define cheating...
Because what exactly is wrong with catching up with an ex... I mean, I have no problem with it but I totally understand if you do. Just trying to clarify.
Did you and the Cap actually discuss what the terms were- where you would draw your lines etc
Did they sleep together? Was it simply the fact that he didn't tell you? Are we talking about dirty texts or what...

Forgive me if I misunderstood the situation, I would just like to know- because my ex Cap decided hanging out in a brothel & smoking meth was his thing, and that was where my line was drawn in the sand and he stepped over it lol
So definitions matter haha

Well the fact he lied about going to see her was a massive alarm bell.. The fact that in his messages to her I found out her had sent her a gift...another alarm bell...
I don't know if they have slept together I will find this out when I ask him!
Well in discussions I had always mentioned that I think it is good if you can come out of a relationship with an ex and still be civil/ friendly to each other, but I feel like paying money and lying about going to see her is a line that, surely if he thought anything of me, I don't have to make obvious?
No dirty texts, but none of the messages even mention having a girlfriend which makes me think she doesn't know about me...
And the smoking meth thing...wow! You must be a very tolerant person if that's where you drew your line 🙂

Absolutely, the alarm bells were ringing for you so you're well within your rights to stop and reevaluate!
I hope it goes smoothly for you my dear, good luck x

When will women learn that 95% of these men are cheaters. I wouldnt confront him either. He'll get himself out of it that way.

Posted by Koniucha
Do you mean 95% of these types of men, or men in general?

Capricorn men.

Yeah, just the mere fact that he lied about going to Germany was definitely a dead give-away. I'm not going to say Caps don't cheat cause hell, anyone and any sign can accomplish that feat with no problem.Do you know his other placements? My husband of 28 years is a Double Cap with an Aries rising, and to my knowledge he's never cheated or even gave me a clue that he wanted too. I have access to all of his personal gadgets and always have, but if he ever gave me any indication that he was, I sure would seek out all sources to confirm it. The thing is, all men, no matter what sign they are don't even know how to cheat. They are careless and 95% of the time, they get caught.

Anyway, glad you followed your gut and too bad you had to take the measures you did because no one should have to find out through lies and rather he slept with her or not, he lied about going to see her, so that's enough evidence. I agree with everyone else. However, I would bring it to his attention and let him know that you are aware that he lied about going to see his family when in fact he went to Greece see his ex...give him something to think about and regret, THEN, I would walkaway and move on. Good luck to ya though.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by lnana04
When will women learn that 95% of these men are cheaters. I wouldnt confront him either. He'll get himself out of it that way.

Mine had a 3 inch dick and needed validation. It was easy to move on.

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😆

Posted by Ellenthearies
So last night, after my gut instinct telling me something wasn't right, I found out my cap has cheated on me.
When he told me he was going to Germany for see family, after looking through his phone I discovered that he went to Greece to see his ex, pictures of them together..

The ex : this is the girl he says he could have seen himself marrying, but they both weren't reasy to commit at the time, broke up, she went back to Greece... I interpret this as ' the one who got away'

On looking through his phone, I am not proud of how I found out, but I always trust my gut, and what I found confirmed just that.

A couple days previous we had a massive chat and I felt he opened up, and I really felt he was getting comfortable with opening up, and it bought us closer

So I guess my question is... Wth has happened?? Do caps always hang onto that one they thought they could have seen spending their life is, no matter how good a relationship is going??
And when I confront him about it.. Even thought im 100% sure will he deny deny deny?

Are you sure they're not just friends?

Posted by Ellenthearies

Posted by wagtail
So, how exactly do you define cheating...
Because what exactly is wrong with catching up with an ex... I mean, I have no problem with it but I totally understand if you do. Just trying to clarify.
Did you and the Cap actually discuss what the terms were- where you would draw your lines etc
Did they sleep together? Was it simply the fact that he didn't tell you? Are we talking about dirty texts or what...

Forgive me if I misunderstood the situation, I would just like to know- because my ex Cap decided hanging out in a brothel & smoking meth was his thing, and that was where my line was drawn in the sand and he stepped over it lol
So definitions matter haha

Well the fact he lied about going to see her was a massive alarm bell.. The fact that in his messages to her I found out her had sent her a gift...another alarm bell...
I don't know if they have slept together I will find this out when I ask him!
Well in discussions I had always mentioned that I think it is good if you can come out of a relationship with an ex and still be civil/ friendly to each other, but I feel like paying money and lying about going to see her is a line that, surely if he thought anything of me, I don't have to make obvious?
No dirty texts, but none of the messages even mention having a girlfriend which makes me think she doesn't know about me...
And the smoking meth thing...wow! You must be a very tolerant person if that's where you drew your line 🙂

click to expand

Did yall make a decision to be exclusive?

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ellenthearies
So last night, after my gut instinct telling me something wasn't right, I found out my cap has cheated on me.
When he told me he was going to Germany for see family, after looking through his phone I discovered that he went to Greece to see his ex, pictures of them together..

The ex : this is the girl he says he could have seen himself marrying, but they both weren't reasy to commit at the time, broke up, she went back to Greece... I interpret this as ' the one who got away'

On looking through his phone, I am not proud of how I found out, but I always trust my gut, and what I found confirmed just that.

A couple days previous we had a massive chat and I felt he opened up, and I really felt he was getting comfortable with opening up, and it bought us closer

So I guess my question is... Wth has happened?? Do caps always hang onto that one they thought they could have seen spending their life is, no matter how good a relationship is going??
And when I confront him about it.. Even thought im 100% sure will he deny deny deny?

Are you sure they're not just friends?

click to expand

I know that every now and then they keep in touch, which I was fine with, but that he has gone to see her in Greece I feel like that could be more to that? Is this something a cap is likely to do??

Posted by truecap

Posted by Ellenthearies

Posted by wagtail
So, how exactly do you define cheating...
Because what exactly is wrong with catching up with an ex... I mean, I have no problem with it but I totally understand if you do. Just trying to clarify.
Did you and the Cap actually discuss what the terms were- where you would draw your lines etc
Did they sleep together? Was it simply the fact that he didn't tell you? Are we talking about dirty texts or what...

Forgive me if I misunderstood the situation, I would just like to know- because my ex Cap decided hanging out in a brothel & smoking meth was his thing, and that was where my line was drawn in the sand and he stepped over it lol
So definitions matter haha

Well the fact he lied about going to see her was a massive alarm bell.. The fact that in his messages to her I found out her had sent her a gift...another alarm bell...
I don't know if they have slept together I will find this out when I ask him!
Well in discussions I had always mentioned that I think it is good if you can come out of a relationship with an ex and still be civil/ friendly to each other, but I feel like paying money and lying about going to see her is a line that, surely if he thought anything of me, I don't have to make obvious?
No dirty texts, but none of the messages even mention having a girlfriend which makes me think she doesn't know about me...
And the smoking meth thing...wow! You must be a very tolerant person if that's where you drew your line 🙂

Did yall make a decision to be exclusive?

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And yes definitely made the decision to be exclusive, he had told people I was his gf and vice versa

I wouldn't tell him that you went through his phone. If you decide to confront you're either going to have to come up with another way you found out or you're going to have to breech the subject carefully via regular conservation.

And are you sure those pictures are current or could they be old?
Just get all the facts before you confront somebody. Have your ducks in a row.

Yeah 95% men or more will cheat. I have a ton of male friends and every last one of them cheat or has cheated. I only know of maybe 1 guy that will not cheat. Alll my cap men friends cheat on their wife. When they cheat it's not a 1 night stand it's with someone they really into. They will be cheating for years because it's a side relationship that they just can't give up!!!

Posted by faith $ golphin
Yeah 95% men or more will cheat. I have a ton of male friends and every last one of them cheat or has cheated. I only know of maybe 1 guy that will not cheat. Alll my cap men friends cheat on their wife. When they cheat it's not a 1 night stand it's with someone they really into. They will be cheating for years because it's a side relationship that they just can't give up!!!

You are serious? .... What in the World Earth has become... A cheating paradise

Posted by faith $ golphin
Yeah 95% men or more will cheat. I have a ton of male friends and every last one of them cheat or has cheated. I only know of maybe 1 guy that will not cheat. Alll my cap men friends cheat on their wife. When they cheat it's not a 1 night stand it's with someone they really into. They will be cheating for years because it's a side relationship that they just can't give up!!!

lolz said the side chick extraordinaire.

The fucknut returns...*cough*

As truecap said: do you know the photos are new, or could they be old?

If I had got proof of that lie I'd definitely talk to him, asking him casually about his trip to Germany. I would watch him squirm and observe him as he lies, if he decides to do that. And then I would use that to trap and kill him verbally. There's no way I would let him get away with it as easy as with me just fading away. I really don't understand how talking to him about it would make him get away with it - imo, it's the other way around.

95% are cheaters? Yeah right.

OP, are you prepared to confront him and get the truth?

confronting is good, if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. If you dont, than calm down and think about your options. Dont let your ego get into it.


My friend (Aries) started with her Cap like this, he cheated once in the beginning.... she confronted him and didnt leave him..... but he really wanted her, so now its a 5 year relationship, and its blissfull, for a long time...... Caps are traditional, if given time....

the question is, have you the endurance to achive this? how long have you been together?

Posted by tiziani
The lying is the worst thing.

Lying can be a real struggle and a compliment in some cases....... honesty is sometimes overrated

what you can do for yourself is not getting mad and throw accusations, but think about, what the lying means..... if he is lying, you are still important...... I dont mean always and in every time be blind, but try to understand.....

if people are not prepared for this, than 2 scenarious can occur:
1. you get mad, you break up with him and than you go back to him or accept the crumbles (meaning: dont break up if you can not handle it, if you break up, mean it)
2. you break up and mean it, if your tolerance level can not accept it and its over in your head (if not, dont break up, because you will end up at the 1. scenario)

the real question is: do you want him or not? if yes, then fight for it........ if not, leave him

Tiz: "Sitting down with each other and a clear conversation about expectations/desires irons this out."

is not always the best way, if you are not prepared for the answers you get...

I mean, supporting the OP in that "lying is the worst" and "leave the bastard" will not help her well-beeing, because she is not prepared to leave him...

so what will happen?
she will be back in no time with another thred, that maybe she was hasty and she still loves him and what to do....... What to do is to have a calm head in the first place and dont get tangled in a web of "he is a liar"

the most important thing is, what gives you at the time beeing, the good feeling..... dont break up, because you are hurt.... break up, when you feel it...... (it doesnt mean you are meekly accept everything, but fight for your realtionship, change yourself and your outlook, and try first)

Posted by tiziani
I'm not telling anyone to break up because that's never been my place to do that, communication is always the best way. If she wants to feels like he's a liar then she should just roll with that... I'm not a fan of pussyfooting around, just clear communication. Even if that means throwing a plant pot at someone's right temple, so be it. Always take the time to know where you stand with each other, don't horseshit around in fear.

We are here to help her and others, and the best way of helping is to make sure the person asking for help is content.... even if the answer is clear from the other side 🙂 but is it really? do we know, what really is going on? so commenting is a liability🙂

in this case, the OP is "fuming" and fuel the things by "leave the bastard" is contraproductive and makes her to do hasty decisions.....

if he really is a liar, she will find out, and she will leave him when is right for her...... if you dont break up, becuase you think its never going to work out, then break up...... if you think its not like this, you just do yourself a bad favour and will suffer more...

so, if you are ready to break up, then do it and never go back..... if you are not ready to break up, you fight, change yourself and see what is the result.... if nothing, you can leave without remorse...

just a few thoughts for you book, Tiz 🙂

Posted by elllesque

Posted by Pandora101
Tiz: "Sitting down with each other and a clear conversation about expectations/desires irons this out."

is not always the best way, if you are not prepared for the answers you get...

is this what the world has come to?

please don't sign me up.

I'd rather someone be brutally honest of where they stood rather than being led around by the nose like a fool.

honesty is always the best way. perhaps it's not pretty, but it is the only way for someone to choose whether they want to be a part of something or not. anything below the truth is a fantasy.

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I certainly hope not, cause if that's the case i am getting off this train ride.

Lying is the worst like Tiz stated.

I'd much rather have the harsh reality of truth than a bullshit lie anyday.

The OP is going to do what she feels is best, however acting like him lying to her was no big deal is just feeding into the bs and providing false hope when there is none, imo. Trust has been broken and once that is gone, it is very hard to recover.

the last part of my comment was for Pandora101 and others saying the lie was no big deal not you Elle.

sorry for taking so long to reply work has been crazy! I've read everyone's responses I really appreciate all the advice given so I'll just reply to everything here:

We have been together for 7 months, and everything had been going great I had a really good feel about him. He said one or two things right in the beginning which I thought were jumping the gun a bit but flattering none the less. Eg, ( on living in another country) well we could always live in a different country for a year. ( living in Dubai) you know that if we both went to Dubai we would have To get married ( not sure how strictly true this is).

I get what you mean by just saying your bf and gf still leaves room for people to be hurt, but I've made it clear to this cap when I like and want to be with someone, I know what I want, and I definitely do not share, to which he agreed. I think in this day and age everyone knows what is implied by boyfriend and girlfriend, and if he wanted some clarification I definitely thought he would have asked.

Believe me, when I found out I was very tempted to kick his crotch area, I couldn't even look him in the eye I was so upset. But because of both the jobs we have I haven't actually seen him since I found out, so it's given me time to calm down, and lick my wounds in private.

I will be careful about broaching the subject with him, but I deserve an explanation and to know where I stand. If he has feeligs for his ex and he can't see hat changing, then in my eyes he needs to make up his mind what he wants, because I will not share. And as it happens I will be going travelling in January for 10 weeks, so I feel this might be a good time ( if it comes to this) for us to both decide what we want.

I am a very patient and tolerant person for the people I care about, I can take a lot. I was so happy thinking we had got to a stage where he felt he could open up emotionally to me more, was just sogutted to find this out about 24 hours later.

Oh and also no clue about placements, but I am born 27th March and he jan 5th

If they cheat once in a relationship, they will do it again in the same relationship. Its vicious once they start it in a relationship. Its a lack of respect and commitment. Go and find someone who'll respect u as u deserve.

My cap had an 8yr long relationship 3 yrs before he met me. In this time he had another girlfriend but never deleted his first ex. But when I came a long he deleted everything from her because it was obvious that I'm "the one". He told me that he could never do it before but when he got together with me it was clear. Find someone who sees u as the one or nothing at all

Posted by Pandora101
OP, are you prepared to confront him and get the truth?

confronting is good, if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for it. If you dont, than calm down and think about your options. Dont let your ego get into it.


My friend (Aries) started with her Cap like this, he cheated once in the beginning.... she confronted him and didnt leave him..... but he really wanted her, so now its a 5 year relationship, and its blissfull, for a long time...... Caps are traditional, if given time....

the question is, have you the endurance to achive this? how long have you been together?

This is interesting...so since them being in a relationship for 5 years has she ever had any doubts or worries about him? What was her reaction/ his reaction when he got found out cheating?
I think I would rather the brutal honest truth than be lied to 😢

Posted by busyeyes88
Confront and dump!!! Delete everything. He will do it time and time again if you let this go!!

hell yeah confront his ass, fxck that...

@caplove oh don't worry I didn't fall over swooning with hearts in my eyes, but I definitely picked up on them and thought it was jumping the gun a bit!

Yeah I see what you mean completely!

Yes he definutey should have there is no reason he shouldn't have, because now even if there was genuinely nothing going on because he hid it it makes it seem tainted now.

Yep planning to have the discussion in the next few days. If he does still see something worth salvaging with her and has feelings then not much I can do the decision is made!

Posted by ShadowAbsorber

Posted by wagtail
So, how exactly do you define cheating...
Because what exactly is wrong with catching up with an ex... I mean, I have no problem with it but I totally understand if you do. Just trying to clarify.
Did you and the Cap actually discuss what the terms were- where you would draw your lines etc
Did they sleep together? Was it simply the fact that he didn't tell you? Are we talking about dirty texts or what...

Forgive me if I misunderstood the situation, I would just like to know- because my ex Cap decided hanging out in a brothel & smoking meth was his thing, and that was where my line was drawn in the sand and he stepped over it lol
So definitions matter haha

this pissed me off so much. it's the fact that he lied. and obviously keeping in touch with an ex is alarming. you're annoying, wow.

click to expand

I had no idea everybody was the same.
Sorry for being different/ annoying

Some caps don't mind being friendly with an ex. Once they're done, it's over. See, you know you don't want a future with this person, but that does not mean you don't still enjoy their company. Just because you don't work in a relationship, doesn't mean they are bad people. If feelings are gone, they're gone and now you can enter into a true friendship because sexual tension is out of the way. It's rare, but it happens.

And aries, if he told you he was still friends only with her and was going to see her, you wouldn't understand. You would be insecure and react negatively, so why would he tell you. He wanted to avoid all the drama and accusations. There is a chance he didn't mess around with her.

I'm not saying that this is the case here. No one knows for sure except them. I'm just saying you might be jumping to conclusions, and so is every one else. Just don't make a judgment until you have all the facts.

^^^ this is what I was trying to get at...

I see wagtail's point and understand where she's coming from.

Posted by champranger

Posted by truecap
Some caps don't mind being friendly with an ex. Once they're done, it's over. See, you know you don't want a future with this person, but that does not mean you don't still enjoy their company. Just because you don't work in a relationship, doesn't mean they are bad people. If feelings are gone, they're gone and now you can enter into a true friendship because sexual tension is out of the way. It's rare, but it happens.

And aries, if he told you he was still friends only with her and was going to see her, you wouldn't understand. You would be insecure and react negatively, so why would he tell you. He wanted to avoid all the drama and accusations. There is a chance he didn't mess around with her.

I'm not saying that this is the case here. No one knows for sure except them. I'm just saying you might be jumping to conclusions, and so is every one else. Just don't make a judgment until you have all the facts.

I understand why he might omit something like this. But it seems from OP, that the Cap lied outright about who he was going to see on the trip, when lying was not necessary, IMO.

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It's possible. I'm just saying, the pics might be old pics that are still in his phone... unless she's been through his phone before, how does she know for sure when they were taken. This is the only indication she's drawing conclusions on.

But, in reality, it's likely he lied. She just better get the facts straight before she confronts him.

Going through my phone uninvited is a deal breaker for me.

Just sayin'

Posted by Caplove

Posted by truecap
Going through my phone uninvited is a deal breaker for me.

Just sayin'

Man.. the lying is a total deal-breaker for me, Truecap. 😢 I'd forgive the phone thing, especially if I don't have anything to hide. The way I see it, I'm not making my guy feel secure and loved in the relationship if he feels the need to go through my phone or is suspicious of me.

I really hope that it isn't the case but as it stands. She saw pictures, text messages to this girl (no mentions of his status with her), he sent her a gift. Regardless if the pics were old or not, why are they still in his phone? It makes me think that he's not over her. I really don't know what else is needed. This is suspicious stuff and she's right to be concerned about it. Her looking through the phone is nothing compared to all of that.

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Sure, the lying is a deal breaker too. IF he lied.

I'm just saying, she's ASSUMING he's cheated. She doesn't know whether he went to Greece or Germany - she's ASSUMING. She doesn't know. I'm giving this buy the benefit of the doubt, because I see no PROOF in her accusations.

She said herself.. on page . NO DIRTY TEXTS with this woman. I assume this means nothing inappropriate transpired between them via text. She doesn't know if they're just friends or if they're seeing each other. She's ASSUMING!

And she sure hasn't come back and addressed any of this when probed further.

Posted by Caplove

Posted by truecap
Going through my phone uninvited is a deal breaker for me.

Just sayin'

Man.. the lying is a total deal-breaker for me, Truecap. 😢 I'd forgive the phone thing, especially if I don't have anything to hide. The way I see it, I'm not making my guy feel secure and loved in the relationship if he feels the need to go through my phone or is suspicious of me.

I really hope that it isn't the case but as it stands. She saw pictures, text messages to this girl (no mentions of his status with her), he sent her a gift. Regardless if the pics were old or not, why are they still in his phone? It makes me think that he's not over her. I really don't know what else is needed. This is suspicious stuff and she's right to be concerned about it. Her looking through the phone is nothing compared to all of that.

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Sure, the lying is a deal breaker too. IF he lied.

I'm just saying, she's ASSUMING he's cheated. She doesn't know whether he went to Greece or Germany - she's ASSUMING. She doesn't know. I'm giving this buy the benefit of the doubt, because I see no PROOF in her accusations.

She said herself.. on page . NO DIRTY TEXTS with this woman. I assume this means nothing inappropriate transpired between them via text. She doesn't know if they're just friends or if they're seeing each other. She's ASSUMING!

And she sure hasn't come back and addressed any of this when probed further.

Oh, sure, it's fishy as hell, but I don't see any proof yet, is all.

Regardless, the trust is broken, so this relationship is practically over anyway.

I sign pretty much everything truecap has said in this thread. Jupp.

why are idiots making up pseudo reasons for this guys actions

lying about your trip is a lie....you can go to jail for lying and dishonesty and false accusations or claims

are you sure its him? are you sure its his phone? are you sure he took the trip?

she outlined what happened! thats her bf, taking a trip a million miles away to see an ex in any capacity is NOT great for any relationship

kind of bullshit advice in this thread. rationalizing this type of behavior

are you sure he put his deck in her? did you see him do it?

^^^ LOL fair point bal- it's just people (like myself I know) just asking.

hahaha I totally agree CC- the easiest solution is to kick his ass to the curb, but you know, if you post about it online or Dxp - you're going to get a lot of feedback from complete strangers on here and differing points of view, so just being open to some other approaches and ideas
may not work in this particular instance but can definitely create a new learning curve for the OP as she moves forward.
Some people will take it personally, some people will judge, criticise and say hurtful things to others based on what ever their own experience might be in similar circumstances and
a little bit of hate can go a long way- so I think we all had valid input and everyone was well within their rights to express or ask questions and suggestions - she can take away whatever SHE feels fits

Posted by champranger

Posted by balblair
why are idiots making up pseudo reasons for this guys actions

lying about your trip is a lie....you can go to jail for lying and dishonesty and false accusations or claims

are you sure its him? are you sure its his phone? are you sure he took the trip?

she outlined what happened! thats her bf, taking a trip a million miles away to see an ex in any capacity is NOT great for any relationship

kind of bullshit advice in this thread. rationalizing this type of behavior

are you sure he put his deck in her? did you see him do it?

Because you can't just go up to a Cap and claim that he cheated or lied. You have to be able to explain, imo. Unless she has sufficient points for her claim, he can easily turn this around and make it her fault instead of his. The Cap could easily claim that he doesn't trust OP fully and that her looking through his phone just proves that he shouldn't fully trust her yet.

If she doesn't mention about the photos but doesn't have any solid proof, he can also easily brush her off, claiming that she's overreacting or making mountains out of molehill, which in turn becomes the reason for him not telling her (that the reason why he didn't tell her the truth is because he thinks she will overreact). If she appears too convinced to him, he may wonder what got her so convinced and might deduce that the only possibility would be that she looked through his phone.

IMO

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Damn, you're good, you cap whisperer, you. Lol!

Posted by champranger

Posted by balblair
why are idiots making up pseudo reasons for this guys actions

lying about your trip is a lie....you can go to jail for lying and dishonesty and false accusations or claims

are you sure its him? are you sure its his phone? are you sure he took the trip?

she outlined what happened! thats her bf, taking a trip a million miles away to see an ex in any capacity is NOT great for any relationship

kind of bullshit advice in this thread. rationalizing this type of behavior

are you sure he put his deck in her? did you see him do it?

Because you can't just go up to a Cap and claim that he cheated or lied. You have to be able to explain, imo. Unless she has sufficient points for her claim, he can easily turn this around and make it her fault instead of his. The Cap could easily claim that he doesn't trust OP fully and that her looking through his phone just proves that he shouldn't fully trust her yet.

If she doesn't mention about the photos but doesn't have any solid proof, he can also easily brush her off, claiming that she's overreacting or making mountains out of molehill, which in turn becomes the reason for him not telling her (that the reason why he didn't tell her the truth is because he thinks she will overreact). If she appears too convinced to him, he may wonder what got her so convinced and might deduce that the only possibility would be that she looked through his phone.

IMO

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This is why she needs to have her ducks in a row before she confronts him.

truth·ful·ness
ˈtro͞oTHfəlnəs/
noun
the fact of being true; truth.
"we have had to judge the truthfulness of the evidence"
the fact of being realistic or true to life; realism.
"the truthfulness of her playing of an aging American spinster"


YES

Posted by champranger
The point is ... although the Cap is likely guilty, if OP isn't careful and have all of her arguments backed with support, she might end up shooting herself in the foot because of how she found out. Aries (unless they have a lot of earth or water) tends wants to confront and find the truth so it's likely she will want to bring it up to him somehow.

IMO

I think I would ask questions about his trip to Germany and his family and asking for particulars, like how was the flight or what cost is the ticket or where there went....... and closely watch his reactions and the ease how he is reacting..... I would not tell that I know about Greece and the ex..... or is it possible he went to Germany and Greece, so not lying per se, just not telling the whole truth?