Capricorn Men? (Page 6)

Oh, the irony.

People keep complaining that Cap men are too laid back when it comes to love.
Yet when they finally do become intense, passionate & aggressive in love, they get slapped with a "he can't handle the loss of control over his emotions" label.

Sad.

Beowolf,
"Oh, the irony.People keep complaining that Cap men are too laid back when it comes to love. Yet when they finally do become intense, passionate & aggressive in love, they get slapped with a "he can't handle the loss of control over his emotions" label"

Its fun that you say that. I wouldn't complain guaranteed. I want a very fierce and intense attraction of both physical and emotional right now. Would be in heaven and so would he. Its just that getting past that first few meetings is tough. There is definately something psychological that turns the guy off (cap or otherwise) if the girl shows too much interest. They need that cat and mouse chase a bit. Whereas for me right know I would love for a prince charming to want to sweep me off my feet. I want to be someones dream girl and nothing less.

I'm tired of getting constantly hit on because of my physical features, because men are just assuming thier is nothing more and there is oh so much more!!!

Its fun that you say that. I wouldn't complain guaranteed. I want a very fierce and intense attraction of both physical and emotional right now. Would be in heaven and so would he. Its just that getting past that first few meetings is tough. There is definately something psychological that turns the guy off (cap or otherwise) if the girl shows too much interest. They need that cat and mouse chase a bit. Whereas for me right know I would love for a prince charming to want to sweep me off my feet. I want to be someones dream girl and nothing less

Cap men really don't chase you unless you have been with him for years and he is for SURE you are his lover and his lover only. If he is pursuing you, he is interested and it is not bad to be interested in him too. Out of most men, Cap men don't run from you when you let yourself loose a bit. Matter of fact, he may want you to loosen up and open up some to him. Were we women get wronged at is acting like we are in a committed relationship with a man before it is TIME!

He will indeed run from that and most men will run from the feelings of YOU making more out of the situation than he is seeing it right now. Cap men move very slow and he is just not going to "give" you his heart.

I just wouldn't be to "EASY" acting for him. Be a bit hard to get. No, not with your attitude but what I mean is have other interest outside of him and not let him be the center of the universe. If he is not calling, OK, fine, you don't need him to call you because you have other things on your agenda to do.

ALL he is doing right now is distracting you to see if you are the "average", desperate, clingy needy females that he is used to. Once he "has put in his work" it will be OK to be a bit needy. He will adore your neediness, it makes him feel like a man to do things for you. If he offers to do things for you, don't PLEASE don't act to independent because he will feel as if you don't need him. He wants you to "need" him, that is the only way you to can function.

He wants to be in control so let him be the head of the relationship. As a Scorp, just like me I am a (LEO) we have alot of masculine qualities that turn me off. Why because we can do alot of pushing forward things because we want them on our times.

Just lay low on the energy. Don't shift out any energy towards him at all. HE WANTS TO WEAR THE PANTS! If you want to wear the pants, it will be very, very, challenging which to a Scorp might be good.

I'll start from the beginning. I met him on a saturday night 3 weeks ago. Short meeting and introduced by a friend. Didn't really feel anything for him, was on my way to a concert so I was just thinking about getting there.
Saw him 1 week later at a downtown bar/club. He immediately started in on how I had the most beautiful lips, legs and that looking into my eyes was killing him. I agreed to go out with him for sushi that upcoming monday... he asked me for my number and I gave it to him.
Sunday moring I sent him a txt and said "did we make plans to go to kofusion Monday night" I got no response and was hurt because he was the 2nd guy to do that to me.

OK, so I had all but forgot about cap when last friday night, I walk right past him late at night leaving a club. I need to regress a minute and say that each time I have seen him I have been wearing very striking party dresses that pretty much stop traffic with most men. I'm so tall with an athletic body that I just have that effect. If I had the face to go with it I'd be dangerous. My face is just average however.... anyways. He of couse stops me an wants to talk. I said to him "you are 41 yrs old divorced with 4 kids, you should know better than to ask out a single mom and let her get a sitter just to not respond was not cool." he agreed and started in again that I was soooo beautifull with my eyes, lips and legs. he was begging me for another chance and wanted to see me sunday night. I reluctantlly agreed. We hugged several times and said our goodbyes. The next morning he txt me "MORNING BEAUTIFUL. I AM A LITTLE CONFUSED. DID I RECEIVE AN ASS CHEWING FROM U LAST NIGHT? I DO REMEMBR THE WARM HUGS THOUGH. I responded LOL, you deserved the ass chewing but the hugs were all me baby... since it was only friday night and we werent going out until sunday he spent saturday sending me txt messages telling me I was hot and calling me a couple times. I took all the compliments well and let him know I was excited to see him again. He even asked me If I could go to a rams game that night about 4 hours away because he got tix at the last minute. He was very dissapointed that I couldnt go.
sunday came and he ended up having to have his kids so our date was only about 1.5 long. we had dinner and walked around.

He spent the entire date showering me with compliments and telling me how he has only ever felt this way for 1 other lady in his whole life and that was his ex wife. He was sitting there talking abou

He spent the entire date showering me with compliments and telling me how he has only ever felt this way for 1 other lady in his whole life and that was his ex wife. He was sitting there talking about us playing golf together, go on motorcycle rides. Wanting to know when I had my kids so he could know if we have our kids on the same weekends (which we do turns out. After the date I sent him a txt "thanks for dinner, had a nice time...Kiddos r busy playing guitar hero.
He had sent me a txt already but I didn't have it yet. It said "all I can say is WOW"

He then sent another txt that said Had a nice time as well. My boys luv that game. I will call u tmrow. Sweet dreams babe...
He then sent another one that said. Goodnight beautiful. i will dream about u and those seet kisses.

The next day I woke up with a sinking feeling (call it scorp intuition) I really thot after all the messages he sent me over the weekend and after our date that he would have sent me one first thing in the morning. He didn't finally around 11 AM I sent him one that said " did I tell you that you looked really hot last night. He didn't respond and finally the suspense was killing me and even thought I knew it was a mistake I called around 2.30 pm. He answered hey beautifull I'm in a meeting and will call you back. He called back and he did a total 180. He was saying that we needed to take thing slow and not be trying to plan so much. he then was talking about his ex wife (he and I are both recently divorced) they were having dinner and getting school supplies for thier kids. I just felt he wasn't even the same guy.
I realize he can't spend every waking momment showering me with attention but this was hot one minute and cold the next. I'm wondering if he is just not ready because of his ex or if he wants me very badly and I just need to be patient. Either way I'm terrified of being hurt by this guy. Obviously I like him so much because I just spent the last 20 minutes typing out these messages in desperate hope for some sincere help!!!

scorpio73 it wasn't that he wasn't interested, men test as krobe said to see if your like the average woman, he pulled away to see if you would chase and just like most women do out of feeling rejected or insecure they chase and call and text etc. If you had allowed him the mental space to get back with you on his terms he would have picked up again. No worries, don't sweat it, MOVE FORWARD and claim a new Capricorn if this doesn't work out, move on quickly so you won't psyche yourself out with thinking something is WRONG with YOU. This is a mistake many of us make, we think wow he really likes me, he's calling and texting and emailing me every day, he's professing his like for me, he's complimenting and talking about a future and then POOF he's gone. Well a man can't LIVE in that emotional space on a daily eventually he will fizzle out and focus on his hobbies, personal relationships, friends, family, work to regenerate himself. During this down time you shouldn't even care or worry about it, this is the time you catch up with friends, live your life, DATE other men, this isn't the time you call him, chase him and SUSPECT and EXPECT he's lost interest and how you deal with it, react to it lets a man know if he CAN CONTROL you with his actions. It's how you deal with his behavior that either STRENGTHENS his ATTRACTION or makes him want to stay away.

Just remember that a man 95% of the time isn't connected with his emotions, men don't talk about his emotions with other men, they are being logical, teasing, competing, jousting and fighting and dominating and doing all kinds of things women deem boring, illogical and brute so when a guy actually takes the time to feel his feelings and express them he will soon retreat to his MAN WORLD because thats his comfort zone, if more women would pick up on this and try to UNDERSTAND a man, it would be less tension and confusion and she wouldn't PANIC because he's taking a bit of down time, If a man is flaking, not calling, ignoring, being distant and coming back around after a few days or weeks, then he's an immature man and tell him that his distant behavior isn't what your looking for in your life--and that's it. Don't go on and on about it. If you leave it at that it will have more of an impact on a man. This wasn't the case for you but for those who are dealing with men who just disappear all the time...this is how you deal with it.

You can recover from this and he will be back, believe that d:

I hate to break it to some but calling, texting, emailing, pursuing no matter how you put it on a subconscious level says to a man in neon red..red alert red alert..needy, clingy, insecure woman on the line...danger will roger..danger danger

This is why I don't encourage pursuing because for most men it sends a powerful sub conscious signal that you have no life and your sitting around looking and waiting for him.

I know some women will disagree with me but I don't encourage it. You can approach a man and pursue him but you have to make sure you don't send out a message that says I'm going to chase you because I desperately want you.

the confusing thing I'm getting from this message board is that some say about a cap man that they want to be told and reinforce that you like them back and then others say. don't.
I guess I have to learn the right mixture of what to show and when....

you can reinforce your like for a cap man but you have to do it in a way that gives him emotional space, if you can reinforce how you feel thats great, it says your an open honest emotionally available woman and he will appreciate and respect that about you but what I see some women do is seek validation after she's exposed her feelings, once she's opened up about her desires and wants she's seeking him to validate that through his words or actions and this causes crazy tension. If you can say hey I like you to and go on about your life and not act as if because you exposed your intentions the world should stand still and bow to you and validate you then you will have success. What some women find themselves doing is saying how they feel, waiting for validation instead of enjoying the moment, enjoying the present and they become clingy or send off that needy vibe and its not the confession of an emotion that drives a man to run away its her behavior after she's expressed herself.

If women can be open about who they are and what they desire without making people feel responsible for giving it to them then he's more apt to relax and slowly meet her needs and the fun part is he will be HAPPY to do it, it takes a level of self control, the more she can show control of herself and her desires the less pressure he feels around her.

So by all means be genuine, be open, warm and inviting but don't be this way to GET something in return, don't express your desires and wants to GET something in return, once the need to get and be validated is gone this leaves space for a man to validate your desires but in a way that says I want to make you happy and share my life with you..it becomes a mutual kind of giving and not this forced feeling of giving.

WOW tiki33 you are so smart with this stuff. I wish I could learn quickly.

thankfully I havn't let him on on my desire for him. Just in general have explained that I am looking forward to being attracted to someone and want the butterflies feelings. He is the one telling me how smitten he is, and I have reciprocated. I just got that sinking feeling and I believe he is conflicted and not sure about things. he did tell me that I make his heart beat out of his chest. He made it very clear that I am the first person he has been attracted to since his divorce, which is both good and bad.

my gut tells me to lay low but I just want to jump on him. Shocking because few men do that to me. I have many other guys around me right now and can't force myself to be attracted to them...


update,

suspense still killing me with this guy....
I sent him a txt that said:
"hey big sexy, would it put a smile on your face if I said I will think of you at least 2 times today"

his response was:
"absolutely, hope u r having a nice day. thinking of u. Kenny

so at least I got a response and I let him know he is on my mind from time to time. Little does he know that he is on my mind big time all the time

men have this way of pumping you up, creating intense chemistry and attraction within a woman, its fairly easy to do, its nice to play up our assets but don't caught up if a guy is overcompensating with compliments, giving and gifts, for him its part of the chase, he has the ability to feed intense loving feelings by pursuing really really hard, feeding you possibilities of a long term relationship if you choose him and then he BACKS all the way off, well what this causes is panic in a woman, she then begins to become the relationship, she's doing all the doing, she's chasing that feeling and calling it love, she literally has been charmed into falling in love without being selective and testing him to see if he's good enough, some men give gifts, enormous amounts of attention, great dates etc and this is to cloud your judgement and automatically get you to trust him without you questioning if he's long term relationship material, some men focus on the physical b/c they don't even know what an emotion is yet alone expressing it and this is the kicker, the women give in due to all that attention giving and she finds that the man has low emotional potential, he's not in touch with his emotions, he's a runner, he makes you feel insecure for being a feeling human being and he doesn't care to express them or even want to communicate and she's stuck in love with a total asshole and if he's attractive then your really going to have to be on point.

I guess what I'm trying to say is take your time and don't get so caught up in all the hype

Patience is your friend, make that a mantra...go slooooow

oh and to be clear and not seem or try to take the joy out of the dating process, its all fun and excitement, enjoy enjoy enjoy but date smart and THINK before you leap into the arms of a man, test him, be selective, challenge him an fun and exciting way, ask questions about him when your both laughing and teasing one another, if he gives you a compliment jolt his logical mind and say what kind of woman do you respect? Smile and be open but let him know your not this dumb chick that falls head over heels with any guy that gives a compliment and you do this by challenging his behavior and his beliefs in a non threatening way and this will turn him on sub consciously, don't just sit there and be cute...be selective and find out what his emotional potential is, is he a feeling man, a manly man that can't express himself, all this will mean something long term, this will be the key factor in determining if you will have an emotional runner on your hands or a mature man that isn't afraid to say how he feels. Some men don't even care to be in touch with emotions and thus you can find yourself in love with a really difficult guy.

"the confusing thing I'm getting from this message board is that some say about a cap man that they want to be told and reinforce that you like them back and then others say. don't.
I guess I have to learn the right mixture of what to show and when...."

you're right...we're crazy and all over the place. i don't know what your connection is, but i don't doubt that it exists in a huge way...the red flag for me is that everything you mentioned has been very sex-based, and while caps are horny, like all the time, if that's topic A, that's going to be topic A for a long time and leave little room for substance. i don't think he's backing away, he's just busy, and the initial attraction is something he doesn't want to put on his mental list...trust me, that's not a place you want to be anyway...that's where his work, his ex and his kids are...they are responsibilities, they are obligations...

it really makes me sad when i hear the other end of this tale...we really are thinking about you and we need to take it slow...we do need to be reassured, just like you do, but not all the time and all over the place, especially at first. he is probably very overwhelmed by you and no matter what you say, he will constantly ask himself if he is good enough for you and if he's up to the challenge of being the best you've ever had.

warholian please don't ever leave the cap board...you bring so much positive insight

warhorlian,

Thanks again. this board is helping immensly today....
the sex thing is something I am used to from most guys. I think I must exude sex appeal 24/7. However the cap made it quite clear that he is NOT just trying to get into my pants. At the end of our date he gave me a couple very respectable but nice kisses...

so it makes me feel even better that you mentioned the sex thing because he has been very clear that is not what he is after.

I am going to get busy with my own life and if and when I see him again I will smile at him just enough to let him know that he is in....

He told me yesterday that he would like to see me before friday. He said maybe thurs or for lunch. I hate it when men don't pin it down more than maybe this or that, but I'm getting used to it.

Does anyone think that I should just turn him down for thurs, if he even asks. I already told him that my kids have a baseball game, but since he asked I had every intention of seeing him after the game. Maybe I should just tell him that I can see him next week—

or "play hard to get" because I'm not always busy, I have some time for him too to talk. lol

Well if you are just "playing hard to get", just to be playing hard to get he can naturally sense that you are PLAYING.

Playing hard to get is a game, you should PLAY hard to get, you should BE hard to get! Being hard to get means that you are doing things in your life that is centered around the love of being in "love" with you and your outside activities. If you HAVE time to see this man and you are rejecting him just for the sake of not being available to him just for the sake of rejecting him, well, he will pick up on your behavior and he will know that you are just pretending.

You don't want to PRETEND with a man at ALL! You want to be yourself with a natural flow.

For example, Like when I first met my Cap during our first 7 years of our relationship, I worked two jobs and went to school full time. I worked basically seven days a week and went to school full time so we got to see each other mininimally-BUT when we did spend time together it was a very exciting and fun for us to spend time together. HE would plan things and I would take the day off to do things with him outside of MY schedule not his. A Cap man doesn't need ALL of your time to feel comfortable with you.

warholian and tikki33

You both were so right and I was confsusing myself because this stull between men and women is confusing....

I need to remember that it is he that is pursuing me and not the other way around. He is exactly why I think maybe meeting someone right now that I like to much maybe isn't the healthiest thing for me. My husband just moved out on april 1st. I'm thinking it is best for me to continue to date multiple men and not give my heart to any of them. For many reasons this strategy seems to keep them coming.

I have a date tonight with ANOTHER CAPRICORN and he is very similar to the cap I've been crying over for the past 24 hrs. He comes on real strong and gets my attention only to ignore me for a week or so, until I run into him somewhere then it starts all over again.

Since there a 3 caps this summer I've got a theory to the pattern. PLEASE CRITIQUE and tell me how accurate I am:
My philosphy to my scorpio female capricorn male patterns, is that when a cap see's (scorp female) they are drawn to me in ways that compell them to chase me, get me away from the croud, tell me in an extremely sincere sounding way how they are the man of my dreams, not let go of me until they have to because I eventually break free. After the meeting they will continue to pursue me for about a day over phone calls and txt messages.
then the ice burg sets in, nothing, they retreat. It's as if I never existed in the first place. Then when I am dazed and confused by this behavior they lay on the exuses...
First cap exuse "I have nothing to offer you right now, I'm just a poor student and you have everything together" My interpretation. I want you so bad but I'm going to assume that you will think I'm a loser so I won't even try...
2nd cap "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" Well this one hurt my feelings because he was the one pursuing me and I never said or behaved as if I wanted any relationship with him. I think he new that he is the one who gave me that impression
3rd and current cap crush. He is just all over the place yet so not really sure what his exuse is, but I've got a feeling he is a little overwhelmed by me and retreating.

Next part is that they ignore me until the run into me again and it immediatly starts the whole cycle over again. This is true with all 3 of them.....

"He comes on real strong and gets my attention only to ignore me for a week or so, until I run into him somewhere then it starts all over again.

hahaha! we're so weird. i don't know why we do this.

are you saying that you do the same thing—

What does that mean exactly—

I guess I don't understand if you like someone why risk losing them—?

At least I feel like I'm getting somewhere

well, yeah...i am. i don't want to shoot myself in the foot, but i think this is definitely a capricorn "characteristic." it's the hit and run thing. and it's not a cat and mouse thing or a game, we (i and the ones i know of) are just no good at confronting feelings, especially with scorps because it's so overwhelming, seething, and they are exactly the best specimen with which to share those feelings, it's a catch 22 sort of. we want to control our emotions, we're not scared of them. the ignoring thing has little but everything to do with you...and it's not an out of sight out of mind thing either, it's just the opposite. i can't go any deeper than that or i'd be contradicting myself, which is another thing we're really good with.

the only thing i can recommend is make sure you're "running into each other" more. and you just ignore this whacky behavior until you are both on neutral territory and can talk privately about what's really going on. it most definitely won't happen in a public place or through any technological form of communication. think old school.

"I guess I don't understand if you like someone why risk losing them—?"

you can't lose something you never had...i think it's hard for everyone to really be sure about someone...

i've found with the caps i date that when i get too uncomfortable with the distance, and i just contact them, it stops the up & down cycle. i personally have had best results when contacting them for real reasons whenever i feel like it.

i agree you need to have a life, but sitting around & waiting for your cap to show up when you want him to is just annoying. then by time he does, you're frustrated & you've given him all the power in the relationship.

so i say - contact him when you feel out of touch. but don't make it oh baby i love you crap, just make it about something that you want to know, need help with, something he can answer without being mushy back.

having a relationship without all the oh baby baby stuff is really refreshing. and it seems to work best with caps, IMHO. you get your needs met, he realizes you make sense & you're not out of control anymore just waiting in limbo for him to saunter by.

Bottom line you care all of you just can't get enough of us.

tiki33 that is sooo true.. Ive been with my cappy for a year..Just recently I put everything on the table.Wasn't sure where we were going with the relationship. I took a chance and was ready for what ever the results might be. I let him see my heart..I asked no questions and mad no demands.. I waited and went on with my life.. 3 days later he responded.. and validated my feelins on his own and let me know my heart was safe with him.. our relationship turned a 360..he is affectionate,funny, protective. my best friend. but timing was everything..if I had did that to early..i believed i would have lost him.

I agree with Krobe03, you wrote what I was thinking but could not articulate:

"Well if you are just "playing hard to get", just to be playing hard to get he can naturally sense that you are PLAYING."

You will only end up playing yourself

Playing hard to get is a game, you should not PLAY hard to get, you should BE hard to get! Being hard to get means that you are doing things in your life that is centered around the love of being in "love" with you and your outside activities.

This goes for any man of any sign

"If you HAVE time to see this man and you are rejecting him just for the sake of not being available to him just for the sake of rejecting him, well, he will pick up on your behavior and he will know that you are just pretending."

Plus you'll be miserable, dissatisfied and confused

Warholian

How can you know all of this?? How did you aquire so much intuition?

I think what you are saying is instead of "out of sight out of mind" it is more that they are thinking of me they just don't want to jump right in and then feel completely out of control...

So im an aquarius female who has been dating a capricorn male. We dated for five months and then he broke up with me in feb. becasue he said he was scared that i had too much control over his emotions and i had gotten to close. So we completely stopped talking. We were madly in love with each other might i add, the relationship was going great and out of the blue that happened. In the beginning of may he got into a horrible accident and i ran to his bedside, after him breaking his back neck jaws arm when he was released from the icu i took him home.. We then got back together.. He said he was sorry and missed me and thought of me everydya but couldnt talk to me beacuse he was afraid of rejection afraid i had moved on.. Well, we were getting along pretty well we had our ups and downs. Like previous people have said its like a roller coaster. Then i had enough one day and with his drinking.. I told him that i didnt want him to drink anymore. I told him i was tired of it. That it was over and to get out.. all out of anger Then he left crying i was trying to talk to him and his mom showed up..how cowardly. hes a mamas boy... so he left... then like a hour later i went and talked to him he took some of his things out of my car. and said we need to take a break.. for at least a week. we have been living together and i havent worked due to the fact i lost my job while beside his bedside.. but i have had enough money in the bank to support him. we also live with my parents.. ugh long story... so he said that on sunday well today is thursday and he came over today after crying to my dad for him to come pick him up...he took more things out of the house but left a lot of stuff..and when i asked him if we were over he said he hadnt decided yet.. i told him that he couldnt leave me hanging he replied saying that watch him hes a grown ass man and he can do what he wants but hes not going to cheat on me while were on this breka and that he loves me... he lets me get close to him and pushes me away its like a unknown thing when i wake up.. oh and we were looking for a place when before this arguement.. well now i got my self a place. i dont know what to do, should i just give him space leave him alone or just tell him it s over so i clarity. because i know what its most likely going to be and i dont think i can handle it again even though i brought this on myself.. i love him with all my heart...

sweetsouthernwoman1988 I know your frustration and I originally read your post and had to sit with it, he has to feel in control of himself and the relationship in the beginning, your probably there for him when he really needs to rely on himself, although your giving yields results its only for a short term moment and I would suggest using the word NO and when some bad catastrophe happens be a witness, a mere observer not a rescuer, your job isn't to rescue this man, he can't respect you if your always there for him, giving, playing the mother role. He doesn't need your giving and believe it or not it does more damage than good long term. Your giving is emasculating, your giving is sending him a message that he's helpless and needy, thats a NO NO for a Capricorn this is why he said you are controlling him. Stop giving, stop helping and focus on YOU. You have to be confident and know that he desires respect more than he desires your love and giving, so when he comes to you pleading for help you will have to think before you offer, ask yourself is this going to help ME down the line and if you base your past understanding to it then you know it won't help YOU so you have to play the bad guy and say no, I believe you can help yourself, you can figure it out for yourself, yes he will seem angry and resentful but on a subconscious mental level he knows your right and he will respect you for it.

He can't stay in that love space all the time and although it satisfies you, it depletes him emotionally. He needs struggle, he needs to be challenged, respected, appreciated and that means he needs you to step out of that I wanna love you predictable space and challenge him.

Its not about you having to break it off every time he acts out etc...its more about UNDERSTANDING how men think and what motivates him as a man, once you understand that it will be much easier when things shift into that rough space. He's using his leaving as a way to balance things out, he doesn't want to live in the peace filled loving relationship space on your terms, on terms that complete YOU and make YOU happy. You think what you feel is what he feels and this isn't so with men, they have their own secret wants and desires and its usually always opposite of your desires...

Be supportive but you don't have to hold his hand and FIX the problem, your presence and confidence in him is enough.

Think about it, your spending YOUR money and once he's on his feet then what...He's indebted to you...Were do you 2 go after that? I mean you have given him security but then what?? Is he supposed to bend down and kiss your behind? What is it that you expect and this is what goes through his mind, so he must get OUT and AWAY from you because he isn't trying to feel like a wimp that can't take care of his responsibilities, so he must run and go live his life on his terms, not yours...thus stop the helping and giving, you see the results of it, its not positive so stop it. His drinking is a sign that he's unhappy no matter what you do because he's not helping himself and he's being destructive, nothing you can do to help him with that no matter how much you love, care, give and you did the right thing by not tolerating his substance abuse.

gennamoon you 2 seem to have an emotional connection, there is still love, be very, very patient

You may want to postpone a few dates with mutual friends so he can MISS you being around. He's not going to budge until his finances are straight so the best thing you can do for yourself is find SOMETHING else to do until the tides turn and it will. I'm not suggesting that you wait for him by any means but if you feel there is something there then leave the door open for him to walk through it, what I hear male and female caps say a lot is that they need the other party to be straight up with them, no dramatics, no metaphors, they need to know in a way that they understand, so if your goal is to stick it out until he gets straight then you will have to find a way to say that to him but you don't want to send that I'm going to wait forever for you message, your intentions has to be conveyed in subtle but clear precise understood way that your still interested and supportive of him then you go on your merry way and go have fun with your life, he will pop up eventually.

Just enjoy the ride honey, if we said yes he will leave over finances what good would that do. He is CLEAR about your finances and he chose to be in the relationship anyway, so please don't begin to feel less because he can afford the finer things in life, eventually if he chooses to make a stronger commitment you will reap the benefits of his good life too, him making you his girlfriend knowing your not financially well off says a lot about his character, give him the benefit of the doubt and enjoy your Cap to the fullest oh and ease up on the kids and picket fence, he will run if he sense your moving him into that direction without his consent, he move at his pace and he may even ease up and disappear if he feels the pressure of being your everything, so make sure when he opens his wallet you give him lots of reassurance and appreciation for his kind gestures, make sure he knows he is appreciated through your actions and words and he will be a happy Capricorn.

I'd like to add that if you are working hard, have goals, and are serious about improving your own life (it sounds like you are) with our without him he will probably appreciate that too.

can any one help me with my cap..i don't know what to do..tiki ..i woudl love if u could help..i have posted my message on page 25 explaining where i stad with him..i would love if some 1 could give me some insight on my situation..i really like him..do you think he still likes me..i really like him..

piscesgal wrote:
*buh i swear i have never met a guys so complicated like him..all teh gusy i knwo who liek me they pursued m liek there was no tommorrow!!..*

Therein lies the attraction doesn't it? The Cap male's aloofness and mysteriousness intrigues women. The strange thing is that there's a certain earthiness and laid-backness about these guys so it looks as if they're pretty easy to figure out, but at the same time, there always seems to be some mystery about them. Piscesgal, look at this this way; all those other guys who pursued you like crazy? How come they don't make your heart flutter like this one does?

The one that is hardest to get is usually the one that intrigues us most, isn't it? In fact, I'll bet if a Cap male ever becomes all soft, mushy & all lovesick right from the very beginning, you (in fact, most women) would lose interest in him. The women who stick with a Cap right to the end often find that they fought and won a huge prize....that he has been worth all the effort.

**he is the first one i cant figure out whats going on in his mind!..and being a piscean i am still learning to deal with that...**

It's been said that the Capricorn is the hardest one to read in the entire zodiac...even for a Pisces. Why do you think that the REAL symbol for a Cap is not just an ordinary goat, but a MER-goat (ie, half-fish, half-goat)? These guys can climb the highest, toughest mountains but they can also swim the deepest, darkest waters just like the Pisces. They just don't tell anyone about it...

In fact, this is the reason why Caps & Pisces often make perfect soulmates. He knows how to swim to your deepest depths...but he also knows how to pull you out when you go in too deep and start to drown. There's nothing quite like the protective comfort of a Capricorn 🙂

Stick with him a little longer, Piscesgal. I trully believe the Cap & the Pisces make an awesome couple.

Piscesgal, something you wrote in one of your earlier posts intrigues me. You mentioned that you have been pursued by guys all along but this Cap man is the first one that YOU had to make a move on, right?

Then it's true about what I've seen & read about Pisces-Cap couples. They often get each other to do what they normally wouldn't do on their own. Without even realizing it, this Cap has taught you a bit of self-confidence. He has already gotten YOU to muster up the courage to initiate contact with a guy instead of sitting around waiting to be pursued. Doesn't it feel exhilarating to do the chasing for once?

A tip: Caps are doers, not talkers. To get closer to him, look for a problem, then ask for his help to solve that problem. Eg, if he's a IT whiz, tell him you have computer problems. Get him to come over to fix your PC. Then later, cozy up with some apple pie and coffee 🙂

They love relaxing after accomplishing something (such as fixing your computer). They like to feel that they earned something. The key to a Cap male's heart is to get his help with something, praise his accomplishment for getting the job done, then reward him with something small but something that you made yourself (such as a homecooked meal).

*What do caps think of women with attitude? is it better to get rid of it?? Or they like it?*

They hate it. Get rid of it.

Some caps might enjoy the "challenge" of a woman with "attitude" but once the novelty has worn off, you're merely another mountain that the mer-goat climbed ; ie, just another challenge.

I know one cap who was with a woman with an "attitude". We all tried to get him to dump her because she was so full of butter.

Later we found out the REAL reason he was with her; he was using her juvenile antics to learn. Specifically, whenever the woman gave him attitude, he learnt to come up with the proper response and the proper mindset. When we asked him why, he said so that he can use the lessons on other women. So he wasn't interested in her at all. He merely used her to learn.

Man, they don't call Caps the great learners/teachers for nothing. Seems like they use every experience, good or bad as a lesson that they could use in the future...

I guess that's what you get when you give someone attitude. You get used...without even realizing it.

"Man, they don't call Caps the great learners/teachers for nothing. Seems like they use every experience, good or bad as a lesson that they could use in the future..."

this is too true. yet another secret revealed. beneath that sexy, calm demeanor lies an overflowing reservoir of knowledge and intraspection. haha, you all want to get into our heads so bad!

This was something I found on the net that explains a bit about Capricorn men, most of the men chimed in and agreed.

Capricorns are very cold on the outside. it takes us (i am cappi), a while to warm up to people even if we feel really good about them from the beginning.

here are some tell tale ways of knowing if cappi is really in love with you:

he brings you home to his house. he brings you to meet his family members, and i don't mean just his mama, i mean the whole family like at a family get together on the fourth of july or a special holiday like christmas or a relatives birthday party. he lets you drive his car, if you ask just to test drive it or to borrow it for a day, and if he says yes, then he is all yours. if he buys you a ring (doesn't have to propose). if he doesn't kick you out of his bed after s*x, or if he doesn't leave your house immediately after doing the deed. if he is protective of you or defensive of you. if he becomes jealous for you or possessive of you. if he starts to boss you around a little bit. if fights someone for you (if they disrespect you or make a pass at you etc) either verbally or physically. I can go all night with the list, but i will explain these a little better then let you alone.

we don't trust others in our home unless we care about them. if they are not good enouhg for us to let into our home, they are not good enough to let into our hearts. family is sacred, we wouldn't bring a different girl around to each reunion or every time we see a relative for the first time in a long while, so we only bring those with us that we are serious about, and we are not serious about you unless we love you. we don't trust anyone to borrow our car or even to drive it with us in the passenger side. cars are expensive and we work hard to afford them and we work hard to keep them clean and ding free. our driving records are (usually) flawless so we don't want someone we dated messing up our insurance policy. if he lets you drive HIS car, he is sharing with you because he cares about you AND he trusts you. buying a ring is a seriuos gesture. he wouldn't do it even as a gift unless he was serious about you. many cappis will get the hump then run. if he sticks around with you for part of the day or even if he lies in bed next to you for a while then he isn't going anywhere without you and neither is his heart. cappis are jealous and possessive of our lovers by nature, but we are too self disciplined to show it most of the time. so if he slips up and shows his 'ownership' of you, then what it means is you own his heart and he has you. cappis in love have an air that comes off to a lot of people as 'we treat our lovers as possessions' it isn't quite so harsh and cut and dry as that. we see our lovers similar to our possessions. we don't want to lose them, we work hard to keep them (happy), we will fight to the death for them if someone tries to take them from us etc. oh, and if he gets a little bossy with you, it means he feels comfortable enough around you to take control of the relationship and pamper you to death. cappi requires someone to take care of. someone who will let them be the leader and the boss of the relationship. whether they are male or female cappi needs to wear the pants in the relationship. BUT, then they turn around and use that power to pamper and provide for their loved one. we show our love by supplying everything you need, by doing everything for you, by making sure you are spoiled rotten and never have to do something you don't want to. cappi shows love with uttmost respect.

Well, just remember there are exceptions to every rule. My male Cap friend has not had a steady stable relationship in years. He brings everyone he is "dating" to his house, to see his mom and meet other family memebers if a holiday comes up, drive his car-which has nothing to do with trust by the way, its called car insurance should something bad happen. I would love to tell these women in advance not to get so excited about it because its really nothing.

one man can't speak for all men.

I definitely see why there are so few Cappy men and Taurus women together...
Cappy guys seem to put love last and it's no. 1 on Tauru's list.(even though the two are suppose to be a great match--just wanted to put that out there)

Anyway, I had the opportunity of getting all sorts of information from this cappy man this weekend. He's 50 and a divorced (not recently) and this is what he had to say in response to all of my inquiries:

1. Why do you guys disappear for long periods of time--because we're busy with work, family, and our alone time. Exactly in that order. "sometimes, I like to go for long rides just by myself to get away from everything".

2. Could you ever really like or fall in love with a women you were just having fun with (i.e. a fling or fwb)No, because most of them are married or that's just what they are--a fling. I don'nt hang out with these women, go on dates with them, or anything else, its just purely a s*x thing.

3 What is it about your current girlfried that you like so much or attracts you to her? (she is an aquarius). She is independent, she is constantly busy with work herself, she is not clingy.

4. What makes you become good friends with someone? "I have alot of good women friends".
Trust-is the most important thing to me. If I think your a gossip--that's it I won't tell you anything. If I really trust you I'll open up to you.

5. Why are you guys so icy? "We are afraid to expose our feelings. It makes us vulnerable to getting hurt." "I've told people things, only to have them use what I've said or my feelings against me later, and why should I put myself through that."

6. Would you ever get married again? "NO! When your young you thing everything will work out happily ever after. I went through too much both financially and emotional to do it again. But, when your older and after a divorce you realize that you don't need that". "I'm happy with my girlfriend now, and I can do what I want, when I want to without having to answer to someone".

7. "It's funny, sometimes I can be some where and be the life of the party--when the mood strikes me." "Other times, I don't feel like talking to anyone at all--and people don't understand that and they take it as rude when I just want to sit alone, by myself"--it's not them, it's me...but most of the time people just don't get that."

Oh and one more thing I forgot..

8. Why do you guys retreat, when you really like someone? "Because we're afraid of exposing or feelings to much or getting hurt."

Ok, you can all laugh--I guess I just keep remembering more I want to share...

I wanted to say it's too bad that cappy's are so afraid of getting hurt. As another earth sign, we find it extreamly hard to trust others too. Too bad more of you don't let us in..(guess Leo's are the lucky ones)> It seems to me that what Cappies don't understand is by not letting us in--how can we trust you?? How do we know YOU won't hurt us? I guess its a vicious circle.

Energy-
So you can relate? Okay, I got friends with this cappy guy. He used to text all the time. Now, I haven't heard from him. Just texted him sat--and said... "What you up to?" No reply......how do I know he's just busy or if he doesn't want me to text him anymore (would a cappy tell you that or just cut you off and never reply again?) We never had any bad words and the last text he sent me (like a week ago)he said to "Enjoy my day!"
Do you think he is just on busy or on hiatus--like the other cappy said?
Not too worried about it just wondering what you think.

I'd just say give him time and don't send anymore messages until he comes back to life. If he's telling you to enjoy your day, he obviously doesn't dislike you. My Cap disappears like that, and I've realized the more space I give him, the more he invades mine lol. Say I don't speak to him for about two weeks, he'll send me messages everyday for a week and then back off again... and the cycle repeats.

rocking stop having sex or allowing any physical contact with him and this will alleviate you having to torture your mind with trying to figure things out and if your brave you can tell him you don't feel good or comfortable with physical contact, it confuses you and see what he chooses to do about it, your giving your power away, stop focusing on him, stop worrying about him, you value him more than he values you and thus you will always be in doubt, let him come to you, if he's not treating you well then you have every right to say hey I don't feel good when I'm around you. You show your soft sweet side by your actions but your heart must be strong, you must have your own boundaries and when your feeling, angry, bored, upset, mad, confused you use your soft sweet external shell to show YOU by saying how you feel at any given moment instead projecting discomfort, confusion, anger say it, I feel akward and he will find a way to make it right without you DOING anything, show him who you are or your just spinning your heels and he has all the control. Stop being easy, let him come to you, let him work to be close to you, let him do whats natural and thus you will have your answers, if he isn't worth your time he will stay away, if he's happy with you he will find you and initiate together time. He can't feel if you don't speak your feelings.

your strength and every womans strength is in her ability to be vulnerable and say how she feels without making others responsible for her feelings, your power is your femininity, your power is your ability to say i'm hurting and still be soft, use it, God gave it to you, no woman has to put up with crap and a man finds value in a woman that can say with her heart what she's feeling and that she's feeling a certain way at any given time, this means she's not afraid, you balance him out, you move away from his logic and pull him into your world, she has strong boundaries and he can't just walk all over her nor can he argue and compete with her heart and keep her in this confused messed up state, he either has to honor you or leave you alone...period

Him hanging out in a group is his way of slowing EVERYTHING down, slowing the relationship process down so he can see who you are as a woman, how and if he wants to fit you in his life and thus you have to focus on another, date others, send a strong vibe that your not easy to have, your not focused on him and his behavior which is a turn off by the way and if you really want to know if he's thinking about you, don't be anywhere you know he's going to be it may take a few weeks, days or even months but its better if he feels good about you and feels your worth the effort, too many women throwing themselves at the cross with a man, just relax, enjoy and speak your heart when you feel he's in your emotional space, use feeling statements and he will be able to feel you, see you and understand you as a woman and at best he will get his sh*t together before he steps to you or he will go on with his life and pursue and play with others.