nngemini
@nngemini
11 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 57 · Topics: 7
capricorn's silent treatment
I'm expriencing this now also. Still fairly new to dating and dealing with capricorn men but from everything I've heard this is normal typical behavior for them. They'll disappear and reappearfrom time to time. I hear it's for a myriad of different reasons from they may not wanna appear too clingy, "testing" loyalty to they just need time to "figure things out". They'll keep you at arms length but when you stop showing interest it FREAKS them out! Honestly, i think it takes ALOT for capricorns to believe someone actually really likes them and is willing to stick around. They ALWAYS seem to have doubts for some reason. I'm learning that if you really like a capricorn and want to get to know them, you're gonna have to do ALOT of the work!... lol. At times you're gonna have to initiate contact and no matter how cold they seem deep down they are experiencing the greatest joy ever.(heard this from a Capricorn male) So, just relax and hang in there. lol
It's normal behavior just continue doing your own thing and then they'll show up... I've noticed that the Cap I'm dating will do the same... time is very valuable to them, so most of the time they're just busy and are so focused that they don't allow people to distract them. So if you've noticed when he's with you, it's all about you... as time goes by, he will see that you're in it for the long haul without having him change his routine... slowly but surely you will be part of that routine... and if you don't get bored easily then this will be a very good relationship for you... but if you're like me and get bored easily... then I highly suggest you just enjoy it for what it is for now... and don't expect anything...
It took over a month for my Cap to tell me that he really really likes me... but even after he said it, he still has to pencil me in... for dates, for convo's... they're not big texters I think lol
I've voiced to him that we don't ever talk about nothing, esp. through text... he doesn't budge... he will do what he thinks is practical... but when I saw him after I voiced that, he was very talkative... so try to suggest your concerns without pushing buttons... just don't be rude, they hate that lol
It took over a month for my Cap to tell me that he really really likes me... but even after he said it, he still has to pencil me in... for dates, for convo's... they're not big texters I think lol
I've voiced to him that we don't ever talk about nothing, esp. through text... he doesn't budge... he will do what he thinks is practical... but when I saw him after I voiced that, he was very talkative... so try to suggest your concerns without pushing buttons... just don't be rude, they hate that lol
i understand all that, and hope you guys are right.
I just don't wanna appear as clingy, so i abstain from getting in touch though i really have to fight myself on this.
i am only worried about this cause it wasn't like this from the start, it was quiet the opposite....
we have passed the point of sharing 'i like yous' so i have no doubt there either...it's just that i can't imagine how could a person not care what the other half is doing for days....this is really something i haven't dealt with before...
I just don't wanna appear as clingy, so i abstain from getting in touch though i really have to fight myself on this.
i am only worried about this cause it wasn't like this from the start, it was quiet the opposite....
we have passed the point of sharing 'i like yous' so i have no doubt there either...it's just that i can't imagine how could a person not care what the other half is doing for days....this is really something i haven't dealt with before...
@nngemini I feel the EXACT same way you do about this strange behavior they exhibit. Our situations are soooo similar it's frightening!! If you want to just 'vent' or compare notes lol. sometime e-mail me blackdahlia1779@yahoo.com
Posted by liyahsavirgo83
@nngemini I feel the EXACT same way you do about this strange behavior they exhibit. Our situations are soooo similar it's frightening!! If you want to just 'vent' or compare notes lol. sometime e-mail me blackdahlia1779@yahoo.com
I sent you a private msg here on the website. 🙂
Posted by GemShimmiesPosted by nngemini
Have any of you had this experience?
Is it something to be worried about...
After being very sweet and in touch almost 24/7, my Cap hardly gets in touch, and even when it happens, it's very brief and shallow convos...
I know he has thinking to do abt the whole situation, but I just don't know what to think about it.
I try not to initiate a contact, sometimes we go for days without speaking, but I say hi from time to time (i try to show to him I care).
When we are together he is very caring and nice, but once we separate, he disappears.
Should I be worried?
Is there anything I can do?
thanks 🙂
p.s. as you can already guess, I am a gemini female.
Normally I'd say be worried but my Capricorn husband i sdoing the same thing to me right now. We only knew each other three months when we got married in March so I still don't know his ins and outs all yet...but there must be something in the stars right now for Caps. Mine used to love when I texted, even if it was all night or day but now he's getting agitated when I message "too much...." So I'm gonna back off and see how he likes it 🙂
click to expand
Oh my oh my....I might be nosey, but how did you get a cap to marry you after only a few months? That's an accomplishment in itself.
My cap never complained about me txting too little or too much (maybe cause i am extra careful as i never know what he feels), but that would also mean something...
good luck and keep us posted, at the end of the day, you guys are married so you will talk about it eventually, no disappearing acts forever as he might have done if he were single 🙂
Posted by nngemini
...it's just that i can't imagine how could a person not care what the other half is doing for days....
oh you don't understand, the problem is, he probably can't differentiate you in his mind, Capricorns think about things all the time, if he has feelings for you then he probably doesn't realise that he hasn't spoken to you because you're in his head, you're always there, to him you're always together, i have a big problem with this myself, but don't be disheartened, just know that introverts rely on themselves, everything is internal, you're in there and he's not used to externalize, just ask him to do something , anything in the next couple of days, and he will move heaven and earth (or even his schedule) to accommodate you, one of the biggest things most don't get about cappys is, "just ask" his own measure of loyalty will kick him back in line, he'll drift off again yeah, but he'll be there.
Posted by ryuhei2000Posted by nngemini
...it's just that i can't imagine how could a person not care what the other half is doing for days....
oh you don't understand, the problem is, he probably can't differentiate you in his mind, Capricorns think about things all the time, if he has feelings for you then he probably doesn't realise that he hasn't spoken to you because you're in his head, you're always there, to him you're always together, i have a big problem with this myself, but don't be disheartened, just know that introverts rely on themselves, everything is internal, you're in there and he's not used to externalize, just ask him to do something , anything in the next couple of days, and he will move heaven and earth (or even his schedule) to accommodate you, one of the biggest things most don't get about cappys is, "just ask" his own measure of loyalty will kick him back in line, he'll drift off again yeah, but he'll be there.click to expand
You honestly think that's the case?
So the theory would be that once a Cap becomes emotionally involved, and more secure about other half's feelings, they change their attitude?
as they think about the person more intensely, they tend to get in touch less often?...that's really confusing if that's the case, because for me as a Gemini, it's the opposite...
not exactly but we spend so much time living in our heads that we forget, thats what i mean, due to our insecurities we have a tendancy to retreat, be it for security or for reflection on a subject, we have this tendancy to drift back, we fall behind and if we aren't goaded a little then we drift off, i've had it with various relationships and friendships in my life, but a little regular contact will keep us up, everyone knows we go through our phases of seclusion, and then people feel that it's best to give us our space so as not to appear to be too clingy, and thats when we just keep drifting, you don't need to do anything forceful, just touch base, jog our memory so to speak, or arrange a regular event, i don't want to say book an appointment but we will always try to hold a commitment, and thats what we want a commitment, eventually it'll go from us forcing ourselves (something we're not especially good at i might add) to feeling natural, we change slowly, but we change.
really what i'm saying is be patient, but if you're having trouble just a little poke will go miles.
really what i'm saying is be patient, but if you're having trouble just a little poke will go miles.
My ex gemini (and a cancer i dated after my divorce) used to make me feel smothered. Gave me that icky feeling sometimes. Caps need a lot of space, their downtime and some alone time. We are an independent breed and expect you to be as well. We also have to feel productive so we always have a list of things that have to get done. You just have to understand and accept it.
Thats one theory.
Another is if I feel vulnerable, I will step back and see how you handle my vulnerability. If its received well, then things go back to normal.
If I feel hurt, I will step way, way back until you come find me and make it right or until I work through it logically and get over it.
Thats one theory.
Another is if I feel vulnerable, I will step back and see how you handle my vulnerability. If its received well, then things go back to normal.
If I feel hurt, I will step way, way back until you come find me and make it right or until I work through it logically and get over it.
Posted by nngeminiPosted by ryuhei2000Posted by nngemini
...it's just that i can't imagine how could a person not care what the other half is doing for days....
oh you don't understand, the problem is, he probably can't differentiate you in his mind, Capricorns think about things all the time, if he has feelings for you then he probably doesn't realise that he hasn't spoken to you because you're in his head, you're always there, to him you're always together, i have a big problem with this myself, but don't be disheartened, just know that introverts rely on themselves, everything is internal, you're in there and he's not used to externalize, just ask him to do something , anything in the next couple of days, and he will move heaven and earth (or even his schedule) to accommodate you, one of the biggest things most don't get about cappys is, "just ask" his own measure of loyalty will kick him back in line, he'll drift off again yeah, but he'll be there.
That is one of the core differences I was talking about on another thread. Caps can go days without talking but it doesn't mean we don't love you.
also, sometimes when men feel secure, they get lazy.
You honestly think that's the case?
So the theory would be that once a Cap becomes emotionally involved, and more secure about other half's feelings, they change their attitude?
as they think about the person more intensely, they tend to get in touch less often?...that's really confusing if that's the case, because for me as a Gemini, it's the opposite...click to expand
That is one of the core differences I was talking about on another thread. A cap can go days without talking but it doesn't mean we don't love you.
plus, sometimes when men feel secure, they get lazy.
plus, sometimes when men feel secure, they get lazy.
Posted by truecap
That is one of the core differences I was talking about on another thread. A cap can go days without talking but it doesn't mean we don't love you.
plus, sometimes when men feel secure, they get lazy.
I accept that it is a difference between signs, between different people, men and women...BUT what confuses me is the sudden attitude change. That's the part I don't fully understand. If he was withdrawn and not getting in touch often, from the start, then i could take it as a 'difference', but this way, it's definitely the change that occurred, and I don't know why...
Maybe he just feels comfortable knowing you love him and he can focus on other things thinking you won't take it personally. That you know him well enough to not feel threatened. Its not good for a relationship but we tend to take peoplefor granted sometimes. I took my ex for granted and he began to resent me.
Maybe talk to him about how you are confused and ask his thoughts on it to see what he is thinking. If its done sweetly then I don't think he will mind.
Maybe talk to him about how you are confused and ask his thoughts on it to see what he is thinking. If its done sweetly then I don't think he will mind.
Posted by truecap
Maybe he just feels comfortable knowing you love him and he can focus on other things thinking you won't take it personally. That you know him well enough to not feel threatened. Its not good for a relationship but we tend to take peoplefor granted sometimes. I took my ex for granted and he began to resent me.
Maybe talk to him about how you are confused and ask his thoughts on it to see what he is thinking. If its done sweetly then I don't think he will mind.
Thanks a million, will see what I can do about it! 🙂
we do get lazy
Posted by truecap
My ex gemini (and a cancer i dated after my divorce) used to make me feel smothered. Gave me that icky feeling sometimes. Caps need a lot of space, their downtime and some alone time. We are an independent breed and expect you to be as well. We also have to feel productive so we always have a list of things that have to get done. You just have to understand and accept it.
Thats one theory.
Another is if I feel vulnerable, I will step back and see how you handle my vulnerability. If its received well, then things go back to normal.
If I feel hurt, I will step way, way back until you come find me and make it right or until I work through it logically and get over it.
Omg Truecap - this is defo what happens !! If cap has been hurt he'll step right back until I go looking for him n make it right...
Also if I've left him to get on with things (alone time for caps) n they have been good il get in touch whn I think it's been long enough and sure enough he'll respond right away n he'll make time for us...
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After being very sweet and in touch almost 24/7, my Cap hardly gets in touch, and even when it happens, it's very brief and shallow convos...
I know he has thinking to do abt the whole situation, but I just don't know what to think about it.
I try not to initiate a contact, sometimes we go for days without speaking, but I say hi from time to time (i try to show to him I care).
When we are together he is very caring and nice, but once we separate, he disappears.
Should I be worried?
Is there anything I can do?
thanks 🙂
p.s. as you can already guess, I am a gemini female.