Games?

How guilty are you of playing games while dating? I don't mean Parcheesi and Yahtzee, lol! I mean head games.

I'm pretty straight forward and honest, although cautious, but I don't play games with people. I don't insinuate a commitment when its not there and I will tell someone if I am dating other people as well. If I think a man is playing games with me, I lose interest pretty quick.

I just read all these people complain that Caps play games, but I just don't see it. I think they refuse to believe us when we are telling them our intentions.

What are your thoughts?

I was really referring to head games and manipulation.

As far as "the game" you are talking about, I do understand that certain behavior by a woman ellicits the way she is treated and gains respect from a man. I'm not talking about that. I don't consider that as playing games.

i dont play games while dating. however while in relationships... im probably guilty of playing head games. i'll admit. it's not my intent, it's almost reflex and i try really hard to keep it at bay because it's entirely unfair.

i agree truecap... games are a big turnoff. HUGE.

A guy i quasi dated a couple years ago thought i played games with him... i have no clue where his head was assuming and accusing me of all of that, but I was absolutely not. I clearly thought less of the two of us than he did.

So it's happened where people have thought I was playing games when it was all in their own head. There's one of the problems with head games... you CAN in fact be playing a two person game solo because of your cocksure assumptions. easy to do when you are keeping your playing cards close to the chest and trying to predict someone else's hand.

I do what I feel I should do as decidedly as possible, and whatever I decide should have nothing to do with what someone else is up to.

games = disrespect

if i'm really into someone i'm dating (or not into them), there's no way in hell i'm going to start the relationship off on the wrong foot by playing games. up-front ftw

hrmmm... now that i think of it... game playing is kinda cowardly. you can easily get lost in the psychological dynamic of whoever you think you're playing with and point the finger at them when things go awry... which it inevitably will.

All my life I been accused of being a deceitful pos and none of my actual feelings were ever sincere, but the nuts I were "seeing" were the ones who were actually playing the biggest games ever. Every time each one of them said I had fake tears (how the hell is that possible lol) that'd actually piss me off where I'd stop feeling sad and just want to kick their asses. lol! And some of them I did, all too well as well. hehe. Many just don't understand us caps, as we rule the astrology chart. 😉 When they get into that gig of thinking we are handing them their mind on a platter, it is really them trying to succeed at some lame attempt of a game they think they have power on us over. They really know, we will hand them their @ $ $ ten times back and then some. Figures, right? 🙂

I don't know what I be doing, but I get the impression that guys eventually start to think I'm screwing em over. I'm not about to sit and lie about much of anything, but I'm not about to lay it all out there either. If I don't want to answer something I won't...ill just change the subject or gloss over it. If I need time, I take it. I guess it can sometimes make for un-readable behavior, but I have yet to come across someone I'm 100% sure about, so I stay true to what I feel at all time about whatever situatuon, which may be a bit wishy washy, unfortunately. I seem to attract guys that start off extremely nice and genuine, then try to adjust to my behavior, then start playing major games.

Good point Metoo. I agree.

I think if I can get hold of my off/on feelings I'd be good to go.

Posted by Metoo
Just know that when you express interest and start speaking in flirtatious or more intimate tones...you do something to a persons brain chemistry.
Meaning they are compelled be it right or wrong to believe there is interest.
The person will begin to think and analyze you, perhaps fantasize about the relationship.

+1

Good responses.

"Then again, as stated earlier in the thread, some people will go as far as constructing and dreaming up possibilities of a relationship when there is no signs, clues or innuendos given to them in any shape or form of that ever taking place, resulting in them projecting their own disappointments on you."

That's what I was getting at. You can be upfront and honest with someone, but they don't want to take you at face value. You can tell them: "I don't want a relationship." OR "I'm seeing other people." Etc. And they still, think you are not being truthful and led them on. As I said before, they don't tend to believe it when you tell them. And then WE get blamed for playing games with them, etc.

Its called GETTING TO KNOW YOU!!!!!!! That includes texting, phone calls, questions etc. You try to decide whether just like someone or more than like someone. Sometimes after you get to know someone, you decide you don't want to take it to the next level. Thus, you say I don't want a relationship or a comitment.

The problem is this person has imagined, fantasized, created more to the relationship than was ever there to start with. They act like you are committed and/or exclusive before you've even had a chance to get to know them better. They moved too fast.

That's what I'm thinking the problem is. They already had you "married" before you even decided whether you want to be exclusive or if you even like their character (it takes a while to really get to know someone's character).

It appears a game was played because a lot of people move to fast - too fast with I love you, too fast with sex, etc. Caps don't move that fast!!!!! It is not the intention to play a game - its called taking it slow!!!!




Oh!!!! And btw, this is not about my relationship with Mr Aqua - just a general conversation.

Oh and until its mutually decided to be exclusive, assume you are still seeing other people!!!

Caps are KNOWN to run HOT & COLD & the males like the "chase/challenge".
Hot doesn't mean making eye contact across the room and taking it as serious interest that's delusion....Hot means calling/texting everyday, acting flirty, buying a person things (meals included), asking personal questions, inquiring about interest, even acting jealous when another person is being discussed, trying to be huggy, acting shy/flustered, etc. Then no contact, acting aloof, not making eye contact, and then the next thing "I'm not looking for a relationship".

Thank you Crustacea for this reminder. I am currently dealing with a male Cap who continuously does this and cold is today's mood. It's so frustrating to be on the receiving end. He told me to be patient though so that what I'm doing.

Great thread Truecap!