homesick cappy

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by bonita applebum on Tuesday, April 22, 2008 and has 8 replies.

i've been dating my cap for 6 months. everything is great. he has shared with me that he has strong feelings for me and that he believes that our relationship has good potential. however, he's also expressed his discontent of being away from home (moved here more than a year ago for a job). he misses his family/friends, he's second-guessing his decision of moving here and has been unhappy with his current job. i am his only social support here and i feel like he has been resistant in making this place his "home" (i.e. not making any friends, not committing to a 3-yr gym membership, not extending his lease to a year).

after confronting him about his mental, emotional and physical distance for the past couple of weeks, we had broken up because he admitted that he's been "questioning his feelings" for me. he's unsure of what to make of it (never felt it before, never been in love). i believe he is sabotaging a good thing because he associates committing to me with committing to stay here.

although we broke up, he wants time to think and consult with his family/friends just to make sure he's not making a mistake, but i just feel like he's delaying the inevitable.

am i correct in my assumptions?

@bonita applebum

19 Years

xun: i've been here for 8 months but my family/friends are only an hour away.

simply me: you're right i'm trying my hardest not to call/text him my recent realizations. the last thing i want would be to pressure him in any way to a hasty decision or influence him.

@bonita applebum

19 Years

bout year and 3 months.

@Gangstalicious1982

18 Years500+ PostsPisces

I love your name bonita lol

@bonita applebum

19 Years

ok, so an update:

after thinking it over, he decided that he wanted to work it out. he admitted that he was getting scared. the relationship was getting too serious and he wanted to run away because that's usually what he does and is use to. however, he decided that he was going to stay in the relationship and "allow himself to be happy."

it's been a month since. i admit. i am scared that he will pull this again. it has, however, served as a wakening call for the both of us as i find us to be more open, honest, committed, happy, and affectionate.

my question is, not sure if it's applicable to cappies alone or just men in general, when you have made a decision to stay in a relationship after questioning it/the other person, then taking the time to think over it, how sure are you of your decision?