Is it true they never come back? *please help, really heart broken*

**Please read second paragraph for additional information if you so choose **

Hello all, I will try not to make this too long and greatly appreciate all of your help. So the basic question is if a capricorn loves you and only ended things because he felt his life was falling apart and he could not give you what you deserved (he felt he was hurting me and that i deserved better, said he didn't want me to be broken because of him... he said it was out of love because he knew id stick around despite being hurt and feels it would be best if he just let me go) is it possible in your opinion that he will come back?

He has some deep seeded belief that he is a bad person he is currently in therapy trying to work through his issues. He has never truly hurt me aside from little things (like basic stuff a sensitive pisces would be hurt by) but that has only been on two occasions.

*MORE INFO*

I truly feel as if I met the man I am meant to spend the rest of my life with in this man. When we first met there was an instantaneous mental connection and we literally would talk on the phone for hours (longest 7 hours average 3 hours) . We had so many insane syncronicities. He truly understood me on some very deep soul level that often brought me to tears because it was as if he could articulate for me my emotions better than i could. Anyways this man has gone through alot of very hard deep emotional tramuas in life (trust me when i say this).

From the beginning he let me know he wanted to build a friendship with me before moving to a romantic relationship as he felt that would give him some level of safety. He expressed that he wasnt where he felt he should be in life at the moment (he is also a single father) and at our time of meeting he felt he had a lot on his plate to sort out. So for 6 months we were friends and each others therapists, and motivator and teacher etc. I've never been so close to a man before in my life.

One night in tears he expressed to me that i was everything and that this was perfect and everything he ever wanted and that it was not fair that he should meet me now when he felt his life was falling apart.

Anyways as i began to fall for him i wanted to know where we were headed his response would be that he wanted to be with me but he knew he couldn't focus on me the way that i deserved and focus on his child and himself the way that they deserved at that moment. At about 6 month point when I was sure I had fallen in love with him, I let him know that i knew he was afraid but that i wanted to be with him and understood that he wouldn't be able to give me whatever he felt i deserved. Also that i felt that everything he was doing was amazing and i couldn't ask for more. He seemed to be opening to the idea but still said he felt he wasnt ready. Then a week later he mentioned something that to me indicated he wanted to be together, so i brought it up again which ultimately led to him becoming upset with me and telling me that he was done. I was really taken back by this and i asked him what happened and why he ended it so abruptly (as that was not like him) he didnt answer so I apologized and backed off.

After 2 weeks he sent me a very long heartfelt message in which he said that he loved me (my first time ever hearing him say that) and that he had to let me go. He said that he couldn't begin to thank me for my friendship and all the care and concern I showed and everything I had taught him & that he felt indebted to me and thus knew he had to let me go. He said he never wanted to hurt me and was sorry that he had... he said i deserved someone that could give me the love that i needed deserved and desired. He said he felt i would never make the call for myself so it is out of love that he has done it. He told me that he is amazed at the woman he sees in me and knows that letting me go is for the best and i will always be in his heart.

His message broke me to pieces as I had no idea he loved me... had i known things would have been different. Anyways now it is over... i replied to his message letting him know i loved him as well and how great of a man i know he is and that i respect his need to let go and hope that it wont have to be goodbye forever...

I know this is all out if fear for him.. the last time he opened himself up to love it blew up in his face (he has not been in a relationship since his ex wife).Is it possible that he will come back? If he truly loves me and what we had was as special as i know and felt it was will he hold on to the whole "you deserve better" thing and never come back? Please... someone let me know what you think...

—?

Posted by tiziani
The only thing I can say is don't get conned.

What does this mean? I dont believe he was misleading me in anyway... he was actually extremely honest with me.

Posted by Capri-sun
It's possible he'll come back once he is more stable.

In the mean time he has been hinest with you so you should move forward with you life, without any expectations from him. If it happens, great. If not, it's still great because he released you so you aren't holding on to false hope.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful answer, I appreciate it ❤

Posted by leowww
I'll be honest... I didn't read all of that. ?

Never come back? Nah that's not true.

They usually do when you no longer care though.

Lol totally understandable i know my aries moon self wouldnt have read it all either... but i put it all there in case anyone wanted more info thank you for your reply though, i appreciate it

Well, it could be fear. It could also be someone re-entering his life. Hard to really tell. Give it time and space. If he wants to comeback he will, but you likely wont be able to force or convince him to. Also, don't want to dash your hopes but, sounds like he sees value in you and respects you but you aren't the woman he wants right now. I say that because I've been in that situation and its difficult.- can't imagine how hard it was for the lady on the other side of those words. But at least he respects you enough not string you along as a plan b.

Best of luck

Posted by -elle-
Dude....paragraphs

Point taken. I have broken it up into paragraphs.. Sorry, I am on my phone and was writing in a very sad *i gotta get this all out* state.

I went through the same thing. I still love him and we could talk for hours and hours, and this was everyday and I spent every weekend at his house. He did come to mine but it was easier for me to go to his because he didn't get off work till midnight. But yea, they can break your heart in a million pieces. I'm still not done picking them up and it's been 2 years we last had a conversation. Hope he comes back to you just don't do what I did when he did call me 10 months later, answer the phone by saying, " I believe you dialed the wrong number ". Yep I guess I screwed my self on that one. ?

Posted by daron76
Well, it could be fear. It could also be someone re-entering his life. Hard to really tell. Give it time and space. If he wants to comeback he will, but you likely wont be able to force or convince him to. Also, don't want to dash your hopes but, sounds like he sees value in you and respects you but you aren't the woman he wants right now. I say that because I've been in that situation and its difficult.- can't imagine how hard it was for the lady on the other side of those words. But at least he respects you enough not string you along as a plan b.

Best of luck

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful response I appreciate it ❤

Yes this has been so unbelievably difficult for me. Prior to him i had just gotten out of a 9 year emotionally abusive relationship and he has literally been the most caring blessing of a man I've ever met...

Posted by Capri-sun
I will say once I love someone, I always love them. Whether I want to be with them is a different story. As long as nothing terrible happened between you two the possibility will always be there that he might revisit trying something together later on.

He told you in the beginning he had a lot going on so his story sounds consistent. We are bad news in relationships if other parts of our lives are out of order. So look at it as being in everyone's best interest. Only time will tell, and if it happens you can decide at that time if you're still open to the possibility of trying again.

Thank you so much again, truly. Yes his story has definitely stayed consistent the entire time. Naturally im quite the skeptic but with him it felt honest, sincere and true. He told me once that he feels when in a relationship the mans job becomes to ensure his woman is happy above all else.. he was very old fashioned in what he believed (Very Capricorn in that regard i guess) and he let me know that he wasnt in a space where he could put someone elses needs 1st and that he felt he didnt even deserve a woman with how messed up he felt his life is. I personally felt he was doing a good job in life but i realize Capricorns can be quite hard on themselves if they arent where they feel they should be. So what you have said makes a lot of sense to me.

Posted by Harukka
They all come back. All of them, when you stop waiting for them.

When you don't want them anymore.

Thank you for your response, i appreciate it ❤

Posted by Impulsv
Or tell them what are u calling for!

Actually don't beat itself over that response

These are boys not men

U beat a bullet.

I wish I could be like that and believe I beat a bullet. I'm just conflicted with all the good and the bad that he has done when we were together. I don't knkw where to put him to be able to move on. I know what I have to do in just have to get the strength to do it. And that is go to his house and ask if he would talk to me and by the way he treats me will be how I determine what or who he truly is and be able to let my heart heal and my mind quit spinning and then I will get my life back and be able to hopefully find someone that truly loves me.

Posted by -elle-
he sounds very manipulative.

all words, no actions.

leave him be.

if there is an ounce of integrity in his words....he'll come back around at some point.

however, if you sit there and wait for him...pining for him....he will think you are a damn fool and that will be used to his advantage.

Thank you for your response ❤ I definitely dont intend to sit and wait... trying to pull my self together right now so that I can let him go. Im usually quite skeptical but I've believed him to be honest... however it has crossed my mind that he could be full of shit.. I obviously hope not but youre right... only time will tell.

Give it sometime for the negative emotions to go away. Do not contact him unless he contacts you. Meanwhile work on improving yourself, give him 2 months to wok his emotions out. If he comes back you have a better relationship, if he doesn't you are more ready for Mr right

You can reach out casually after 2 months if he doesn't contact you by then. Just give both of you sometime to remove the negative emotions.

Posted by Aquarius_confused
I went through the same thing. I still love him and we could talk for hours and hours, and this was everyday and I spent every weekend at his house. He did come to mine but it was easier for me to go to his because he didn't get off work till midnight. But yea, they can break your heart in a million pieces. I'm still not done picking them up and it's been 2 years we last had a conversation. Hope he comes back to you just don't do what I did when he did call me 10 months later, answer the phone by saying, " I believe you dialed the wrong number ". Yep I guess I screwed my self on that one. ?

Im so sorry you had to endure that... I really am... please dont beat yourself up you had a right to be upset if it took him so long to come around, especially if things ended on a bad note and you attempted to repair them at the time ... and if he was genuinely interested in starting something back up with you it wouldnt have only taken that little thing to drive him away. At least not for so long... I know this isn't what you want to hear... I do hope that one day you get an answer to all your questions and that one day everything will become clear... I hope one day he will have the decency to at least give you that.

Originally he just told me he was done and completely just kind of cut me off... then after two weeks he finally decided i guess to be decent about it and at least tell me something.... if he hadnt though i would have chalked it up to him being a fake lying piece of crap who strung me along for his own kicks.

Posted by Aquarius_confused

Posted by Impulsv
Or tell them what are u calling for!

Actually don't beat itself over that response

These are boys not men

U beat a bullet.

I wish I could be like that and believe I beat a bullet. I'm just conflicted with all the good and the bad that he has done when we were together. I don't knkw where to put him to be able to move on. I know what I have to do in just have to get the strength to do it. And that is go to his house and ask if he would talk to me and by the way he treats me will be how I determine what or who he truly is and be able to let my heart heal and my mind quit spinning and then I will get my life back and be able to hopefully find someone that truly loves me.

click to expand

Knowing me... I would have went by now if it meant that much to me. And if he is a stable person that you know wont go crazy because you stopped by I would just do it. Im not sure if that is the best advice... just what i would have done if i felt i really needed closure from someone not giving it to me ... (but im aries moon and can be quite implusive) and i hope he will speak to you and finally let you know what is going on.

Posted by Illuminati
Give it sometime for the negative emotions to go away. Do not contact him unless he contacts you. Meanwhile work on improving yourself, give him 2 months to wok his emotions out. If he comes back you have a better relationship, if he doesn't you are more ready for Mr right

You can reach out casually after 2 months if he doesn't contact you by then. Just give both of you sometime to remove the negative emotions.

Thank you soo much for your sound advice! ❤ I really do appreciate it... i sincerely hope everything will work out because I really do love him. I have no intentions of contacting him but maybe by 2 months I would have changed my mind.... originally i had no angry feelings towards him... but it feels like some are starting to creep in...

Posted by AuroraLuna
....

I remember reading your post and I wanted to say that maybe you are right... it didnt make sense for someone to say they loved me and that they wanted to leave. You're completely right... i know me personally, id fight for the one I love and I'd stick by and try to work things out... as much as id like to make excuses for his behavior and believe it was all good and noble i cannot silence the part of me that feels burned by this whole thing... and cannot wrap my head around everything.... if i was really so great and really so wonderful as he said then why is he leaving me? ? it's just such a hard and painful question to wrap my head around. It would be much easier to believe he is full of shit and just had a beautiful way with words... it would be much easier to believe it was all fake.

Posted by leowww
I'll be honest... I didn't read all of that. ?

Never come back? Nah that's not true.

They usually do when you no longer care though.

like YEARSSSS later

but you'll be fine...

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by leowww
I'll be honest... I didn't read all of that. ?

Never come back? Nah that's not true.

They usually do when you no longer care though.

like YEARSSSS later

click to expand

Lol I saw your thread when I was looking for an answer before asking my own... I swear they move extremely slowwwwwww... but at least not as slow as a taurus

I iniated a breakup with my cap guy. He was ok with it. He said he wasn't good enough for me. I don't know? Is it genuine or just an excuse? Same goes for you

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by leowww
I'll be honest... I didn't read all of that. ?

Never come back? Nah that's not true.

They usually do when you no longer care though.

like YEARSSSS later

click to expand

Lol I saw your thread when I was looking for an answer before asking my own... I swear they move extremely slowwwwwww... but at least not as slow as a taurus

I think this cappy has seen too much emotion. Cappys need a bit more of a heartless bitch type woman (not literally) to keep them coming back for more. lol.

Posted by LibraLovesHim
I think this cappy has seen too much emotion. Cappys need a bit more of a heartless bitch type woman (not literally) to keep them coming back for more. lol.

Noooo, don't give away the secret!!! You're killing me over here sheesh lol

I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

Posted by daron76

Posted by LibraLovesHim
I think this cappy has seen too much emotion. Cappys need a bit more of a heartless bitch type woman (not literally) to keep them coming back for more. lol.

Noooo, don't give away the secret!!! You're killing me over here sheesh lol

click to expand

Could be true.

I am married to one and when I stop speaking to him for weeks - he started to go mad about me and

telling me he loves me more times than for all 23 years. LOL

Though I wasn't playing game. He hurt me and usually I would come out and apologize but not this time.

It threw him off balance. Now he is afraid I can move on. However I would not play game just to see.

Posted by LibraLovesHim
I think this cappy has seen too much emotion. Cappys need a bit more of a heartless bitch type woman (not literally) to keep them coming back for more. lol.

Well he has a cancer moon and can be quite emotional himself... so I doubt that..plus he's only ever heard me cry once... buuut i dont think i made it too easy for him.. my fiery aries side stood her ground and he didnt get away with any bs. One thing i think he knew about me was that i could "bite his head off" (as he'd like to call it) in the most respectable way possible and he appreciated it (because it was only ever done if absolutely needed). One thing i loved about our relationship was our ability to be extremely honest with each other... but at my core im a sweetheart so if that is truly what he needs i suppose i wouldnt have been any good for him anyways.

There is no such thing I don't have time for relationships!

Text takes a few seconds but it makes you feel good. Call takes however long you wish. Doesn't have to be whole lot of time nowadays.

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati
There is no such thing I don't have time for relationships!

Text takes a few seconds but it makes you feel good. Call takes however long you wish. Doesn't have to be whole lot of time nowadays.

If I don't have time to physically spend with a person, what is the point? I hate talking on the phone.

click to expand

Then don't.

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces

Posted by tiziani
The only thing I can say is don't get conned.

What does this mean? I dont believe he was misleading me in anyway... he was actually extremely honest with me.

click to expand

Yes he was.

He told you he wanted to build a friendship. Even though you agreed to this you let yourself "fall in love" with him and then pressured him to give you a relationship.

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

Loves AS A FRIEND. She's pushing for a relationship, he's not comfortable with it.

Which is why he tells her she deserves someone who will love her like she desires.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

Loves AS A FRIEND. She's pushing for a relationship, he's not comfortable with it.

Which is why he tells her she deserves someone who will love her like she desires.

click to expand

But didn't she say he said he loves her not as a friend?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces

Posted by AuroraLuna
....

I remember reading your post and I wanted to say that maybe you are right... it didnt make sense for someone to say they loved me and that they wanted to leave. You're completely right... i know me personally, id fight for the one I love and I'd stick by and try to work things out... as much as id like to make excuses for his behavior and believe it was all good and noble i cannot silence the part of me that feels burned by this whole thing... and cannot wrap my head around everything.... if i was really so great and really so wonderful as he said then why is he leaving me? ? it's just such a hard and painful question to wrap my head around. It would be much easier to believe he is full of shit and just had a beautiful way with words... it would be much easier to believe it was all fake.

If I'm not in a good space, I'll do this sometimes. It really fluctuates. For example, my kids require a lot of my attention right now for schoolwork, and my job is going to a 6 day work week next year...do I have time for a relationship? Not really, so I would probably tell people this upfront.

A guy I use to talk to asked me how my boyfriend is...I told him I didn't have one, he asked why not, I said because I don't really have time. Another guy asked if I had a boyfriend, I told him no and that I wasn't looking for one either. I know at this point in my life that I need to give myself time to get over the scorpio and he's about the only person I would even consider giving the time of day to. Even then I still consider the fact that I don't have time to put into a relationship and that would be unfair to him or the other person I'm involved with.

Caps think practical. He has opened himself to you, that's why I don't believe it was necessarily insincere. I don't like emotions and if I feel I'm losing control sometimes I'll back away out of fear of being hurt, vulnerable, things like that. He very much would want to be your provider and take care of you in every way. I'm not sure if you have children, sometimes they have to be a priority in our lives above everything and everyone else. If he felt he was losing himself emotionally, he might have pulled back to avoid the possibility of being hurt. Sometimes I'd rather not experience anything at all than take the risk of being hurt, as stupid as it sounds. I really have to be prepared for that as a possible outcome before I find the courage to take that risk.

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You have no idea how much what you have been saying has given me such great insight and a since of relief. I say that because in the things you are saying you sound just like him... you are saying some of the very things he would say. My bestfriend is also a Capricorn and alot of what you are saying I have watched her do in relationships (despite this im having a hard time relating it to my own life smh) and she has said to me the same things you are saying (difference is she is my best friend and i guess i wanted to see what strangers would say) .

I really appreciate you, honestly. He opened up to me for sure and has even expressed countless times he doesnt like vulnerability and feelings or emotions because he says they are not based in logic and cannot be trusted. He has despite that been very vulnerable with me we. When things would become really deep with the intimacy i could see him struggling with his need to pull away and he would be honest about it. But he always said he didnt want to do me like he has done others and push me away when it got scary. (Although in a way i guess he has). He is truly analytical and practical and does what makes the most sense. I do not have children nor have i ever dated someone who had children so I knew sometimes I needed to keep that into consideration as that was an obvious "challenge" (cant think of a better word to say but i dont mean challenege in a bad way) that I needed to overcome. With everything he was dealing with at the time ( which i would say is a lot ) i could see that it was all kind of breaking him down. At one point a couple of months ago I told him that i felt we needed to stop talking for a while because i felt he had too much on his plate and i would only add more stress and in turn be more stressed out. After a month he came back because I guess he missed me (even though he still didnt have it all the way together yet... ) then this "break up" happened two weeks after he came back...

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces

Posted by tiziani
The only thing I can say is don't get conned.

What does this mean? I dont believe he was misleading me in anyway... he was actually extremely honest with me.

Yes he was.

He told you he wanted to build a friendship. Even though you agreed to this you let yourself "fall in love" with him and then pressured him to give you a relationship.

click to expand

I never pressured him to be in a relationship. From the beginning when he was honest about wanting to build a friendship I was honest about wanting to be in a relationship. He said he wanted to be in a relationship with me as well but felt that now was not the time. Originally when he said this it made much sense to me as before meeting him i was just getting over a 9 year emotionally abusive relationship and he didnt want to rush into anything with me or be a rebound. He felt it would be best if we built a friendship first as that felt safer and like a more sound options for a lasting relationship and i agreed with him. As our relationship progressed some things in his life began to fall apart... things that i consider to be pretty deep and he became certain that he couldn't handle a relationship in a way that i guess would make him satisfied. He said that he knew he couldnt give me what i deserved at the moment but wanted to keep me in his life. He said he wasnt in a place to give up being selfish. We were both always aware of what the other wanted. When he became upset with me for bringing it up the last time i was taken aback because i had no idea it bothered him until that point. And prior to that he was as i understood it indicating that he was becoming open to the idea

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

Loves AS A FRIEND. She's pushing for a relationship, he's not comfortable with it.

Which is why he tells her she deserves someone who will love her like she desires.

click to expand

Heeeey we are both pisces sun aries moon. Anyways he never said he loved me as a friend... he simply said in his last message to me that he loved me too and that he immediately wanted to tell me that the first time I had brought love up. Which was maybe a week before this all happened.

On various occasions in various different ways he said he wanted to be with me. Or he can see himself with me.. we talked about the future often. He said he feels he'd be very happy with me and that I was everything he ever wanted... several times when i became afraid that myfeelings for him were growing well past friendship I tried to walk away but he would in a way convince me to stay... I do think i needed to be more patient with him... and had i known he loved me as well I certainly would have been... i was just becoming afraid because i had all of these strong feelings and didnt want to become hurt down the line if things didnt start moving in a more commited direction.

I think him and I could use a break from each other... but I dont want it to be over for good. He means entirely too much to me for that... he has a lot of healing to do... and quite a bit of fears he needs to work through... i just wanted to know if on his own it was possible we'd get back together...

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

Loves AS A FRIEND. She's pushing for a relationship, he's not comfortable with it.

Which is why he tells her she deserves someone who will love her like she desires.

But didn't she say he said he loves her not as a friend?

click to expand

He never specified any kind of love... He just said that he loved me. He only said it once and he said it in the last message he sent to me when he was ending it.

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

Loves AS A FRIEND. She's pushing for a relationship, he's not comfortable with it.

Which is why he tells her she deserves someone who will love her like she desires.

Heeeey we are both pisces sun aries moon. Anyways he never said he loved me as a friend... he simply said in his last message to me that he loved me too and that he immediately wanted to tell me that the first time I had brought love up. Which was maybe a week before this all happened.

On various occasions in various different ways he said he wanted to be with me. Or he can see himself with me.. we talked about the future often. He said he feels he'd be very happy with me and that I was everything he ever wanted... several times when i became afraid that myfeelings for him were growing well past friendship I tried to walk away but he would in a way convince me to stay... I do think i needed to be more patient with him... and had i known he loved me as well I certainly would have been... i was just becoming afraid because i had all of these strong feelings and didnt want to become hurt down the line if things didnt start moving in a more commited direction.

I think him and I could use a break from each other... but I dont want it to be over for good. He means entirely too much to me for that... he has a lot of healing to do... and quite a bit of fears he needs to work through... i just wanted to know if on his own it was possible we'd get back together...

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I ended it the same way. I was afraid and uncertain and didn't want to get more hurt. I also mentioned it two other times prior hoping to see some change. Instead it scared him off. I think you scared him. Hope it wasn't too much this time and he does come back. You need to figure out how to make him feel special and unconditionally loved if you want another chance with him. But for now, I think space is your best friend and he will miss you enough to want to try it out again.

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces

Posted by Aquarius_confused
I went through the same thing. I still love him and we could talk for hours and hours, and this was everyday and I spent every weekend at his house. He did come to mine but it was easier for me to go to his because he didn't get off work till midnight. But yea, they can break your heart in a million pieces. I'm still not done picking them up and it's been 2 years we last had a conversation. Hope he comes back to you just don't do what I did when he did call me 10 months later, answer the phone by saying, " I believe you dialed the wrong number ". Yep I guess I screwed my self on that one. ?

Im so sorry you had to endure that... I really am... please dont beat yourself up you had a right to be upset if it took him so long to come around, especially if things ended on a bad note and you attempted to repair them at the time ... and if he was genuinely interested in starting something back up with you it wouldnt have only taken that little thing to drive him away. At least not for so long... I know this isn't what you want to hear... I do hope that one day you get an answer to all your questions and that one day everything will become clear... I hope one day he will have the decency to at least give you that.

Originally he just told me he was done and completely just kind of cut me off... then after two weeks he finally decided i guess to be decent about it and at least tell me something.... if he hadnt though i would have chalked it up to him being a fake lying piece of crap who strung me along for his own kicks.

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Thank you, I'm getting up the nerve to do what I need to do but it seems like I'm all ready to do it then boom fear sets in. I did try to make it work on many differentoccasions and forgave him for something that most women would never forgive a man for but I believed he was truly sorry.

But not I wonder, that is why I got on his phone and got a number to make sure he didnt donit to someone else. Maybe I thought I could help him. Fix him. But I guess love wasn't enough.

My situation is so much different then anyone's on here but I can't put it all down. It would make you shake but I loved him for him and when i told him I didn't like the person that he referred him self to as Hyde he pretty much put Hyde away or back where he belongs. So yes I'm scared to go over because I don't know who I might be faced with. But I have to do it to see the real him and put it behind me. Who knows I might see him and ask my self why in the heck did I waist a year and a half with him and another 2 years wondering so I could move on. I just know in my heart this is what I need to do. Now I just need to find me a big muscle man with me incase it's Hyde that comes out and not the man I fell in love with. Thank you and god bless.

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces

Posted by Illuminati
Give it sometime for the negative emotions to go away. Do not contact him unless he contacts you. Meanwhile work on improving yourself, give him 2 months to wok his emotions out. If he comes back you have a better relationship, if he doesn't you are more ready for Mr right

You can reach out casually after 2 months if he doesn't contact you by then. Just give both of you sometime to remove the negative emotions.

Thank you soo much for your sound advice! ❤ I really do appreciate it... i sincerely hope everything will work out because I really do love him. I have no intentions of contacting him but maybe by 2 months I would have changed my mind.... originally i had no angry feelings towards him... but it feels like some are starting to creep in...

click to expand

It's normal to experience different types of emotions now. Allow yourself to reflect and grow from it. Learn about yourself, what you want and don't want from a relationship. If he does reach out you may respond but don't entertain him if you sense that he is here to make sure you still around only for validation.

It's not easy but you can do it 🙂

Posted by ElvisStalinWoods

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

You can let go of the person you love out of both fear of vulnerability and care for them.

Been in that situation. When I hit a low and everything is out of order, every small mishap or additional problem feels like the grave getting deeper by a foot. Your demons cloud your thoughts and sense of judgement.

As a Capricorn, once at that point, I'm not taking a step forward with shit all if I can't quite predict where it will go, especially if this happens to be something that involves emotions (room for my getting hurt if I screw up).

I've also found myself more concerned about where I'm perception-wise when dating a water sign (people more susceptible to picking up whatever lingers around them). If I'm all bad vibes I feel like I'm more a plague/downer anytime I open my mouth and interact with a loved one, I'll start withdrawing. I want to be with this person and that means I want to make them happy. My problems are my abyss and I don't have to be dragging anyone down there, especially someone I want to give the world to.

If I can't grab a hold of the bad state, the reasons above will make me consider withdrawing from the s/o until I can do better.

On the more insecure/somewhat possessive side of things, if the problems I'm going through include financial issues, I will much sooner try to end things.

Capricorn view of reality is: you aren't worth shit as a partner if you can't support your loved one. No one will forever stay faithful to a pauper. Someone better and more stable will likely come by and whisk your partner away and it'll hurt like a bitch.

The other side of the coin is that the Capricorn is hoping that this is true love and s/o will stay by you through thick and thin.

These two thoughts bounce back and forth in your head like a ping pong ball mid-tournament. The darker the headspace and more difficult the life situation. The former idea wins out while your heart is still hoping for the latter. Fear and need of control step in. You take a breath and pull the plug.

All euphemisms and my 6am brain poetry aside, OP, the idea of him returning is possible if everything gets lined up. But the longer it takes, the less likely as we'll expect you'd likely hate us or not give two shits by that time.

click to expand

Cap I am married to don't think he must support the family and a lot of you wrote he doesn't do nor give a damn about...except me staying with him trough thin...

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ElvisStalinWoods

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

You can let go of the person you love out of both fear of vulnerability and care for them.

Been in that situation. When I hit a low and everything is out of order, every small mishap or additional problem feels like the grave getting deeper by a foot. Your demons cloud your thoughts and sense of judgement.

As a Capricorn, once at that point, I'm not taking a step forward with shit all if I can't quite predict where it will go, especially if this happens to be something that involves emotions (room for my getting hurt if I screw up).

I've also found myself more concerned about where I'm perception-wise when dating a water sign (people more susceptible to picking up whatever lingers around them). If I'm all bad vibes I feel like I'm more a plague/downer anytime I open my mouth and interact with a loved one, I'll start withdrawing. I want to be with this person and that means I want to make them happy. My problems are my abyss and I don't have to be dragging anyone down there, especially someone I want to give the world to.

If I can't grab a hold of the bad state, the reasons above will make me consider withdrawing from the s/o until I can do better.

On the more insecure/somewhat possessive side of things, if the problems I'm going through include financial issues, I will much sooner try to end things.

Capricorn view of reality is: you aren't worth shit as a partner if you can't support your loved one. No one will forever stay faithful to a pauper. Someone better and more stable will likely come by and whisk your partner away and it'll hurt like a bitch.

The other side of the coin is that the Capricorn is hoping that this is true love and s/o will stay by you through thick and thin.

These two thoughts bounce back and forth in your head like a ping pong ball mid-tournament. The darker the headspace and more difficult the life situation. The former idea wins out while your heart is still hoping for the latter. Fear and need of control step in. You take a breath and pull the plug.

All euphemisms and my 6am brain poetry aside, OP, the idea of him returning is possible if everything gets lined up. But the longer it takes, the less likely as we'll expect you'd likely hate us or not give two shits by that time.

Cap I am married to don't think he must support the family and a lot of you wrote he doesn't do nor give a damn about...except me staying with him trough thin...

You always have the option to leave. I wouldn't do or give a damn either knowing that you love & are entertaining another man. With all dur respect, you made your bed so lay in it....or leave.

click to expand

I was asking a Cap who seem different from the one I have.

And if you think you can always have option to leve I say you know chicken nipple! You are probably one of those smart happy people who have no life outside of this forum. So get out. Learn some thing or two.

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ElvisStalinWoods

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

You can let go of the person you love out of both fear of vulnerability and care for them.

Been in that situation. When I hit a low and everything is out of order, every small mishap or additional problem feels like the grave getting deeper by a foot. Your demons cloud your thoughts and sense of judgement.

As a Capricorn, once at that point, I'm not taking a step forward with shit all if I can't quite predict where it will go, especially if this happens to be something that involves emotions (room for my getting hurt if I screw up).

I've also found myself more concerned about where I'm perception-wise when dating a water sign (people more susceptible to picking up whatever lingers around them). If I'm all bad vibes I feel like I'm more a plague/downer anytime I open my mouth and interact with a loved one, I'll start withdrawing. I want to be with this person and that means I want to make them happy. My problems are my abyss and I don't have to be dragging anyone down there, especially someone I want to give the world to.

If I can't grab a hold of the bad state, the reasons above will make me consider withdrawing from the s/o until I can do better.

On the more insecure/somewhat possessive side of things, if the problems I'm going through include financial issues, I will much sooner try to end things.

Capricorn view of reality is: you aren't worth shit as a partner if you can't support your loved one. No one will forever stay faithful to a pauper. Someone better and more stable will likely come by and whisk your partner away and it'll hurt like a bitch.

The other side of the coin is that the Capricorn is hoping that this is true love and s/o will stay by you through thick and thin.

These two thoughts bounce back and forth in your head like a ping pong ball mid-tournament. The darker the headspace and more difficult the life situation. The former idea wins out while your heart is still hoping for the latter. Fear and need of control step in. You take a breath and pull the plug.

All euphemisms and my 6am brain poetry aside, OP, the idea of him returning is possible if everything gets lined up. But the longer it takes, the less likely as we'll expect you'd likely hate us or not give two shits by that time.

Cap I am married to don't think he must support the family and a lot of you wrote he doesn't do nor give a damn about...except me staying with him trough thin...

You always have the option to leave. I wouldn't do or give a damn either knowing that you love & are entertaining another man. With all dur respect, you made your bed so lay in it....or leave.

I was asking a Cap who seem different from the one I have.

And if you think you can always have option to leve I say you know chicken nipple! You are probably one of those smart happy people who have no life outside of this forum. So get out. Learn some thing or two.

Nope. My ex was you and guess what I left. You always have the option to leave. If you choose to stay miserable in bondage that's your decision.

click to expand

Have you ever thought why was he like me?

I had perfect record for 20 years.

I bet you see no fault of yours.

This is why he snapped!

I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

I had perfect record for 20 years.

I bet you see no fault of yours.

This is why he snapped!

I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

Yes

Posted by Gemitati
I bet you see no fault of yours.

False. I'm very self-aware, including my faults.

Posted by Gemitati
I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

According to him, he never cheated. When I said he was you, he was complaining...if you don't want to be married to him, then leave. It really is just that simple. If you'd rather stay, then stop complaining and fantasizing about another man and how he's so in love with you.

click to expand

Please, think and tell. Do you think he was the only one is guilty of cheating or you drew him into it?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

I had perfect record for 20 years.

I bet you see no fault of yours.

This is why he snapped!

I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

Yes

Posted by Gemitati
I bet you see no fault of yours.

False. I'm very self-aware, including my faults.

Posted by Gemitati
I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

According to him, he never cheated. When I said he was you, he was complaining...if you don't want to be married to him, then leave. It really is just that simple. If you'd rather stay, then stop complaining and fantasizing about another man and how he's so in love with you.

Please, think and tell. Do you think he was the only one is guilty of cheating or you drew him into it?

We had multiple issues in our marriage.

click to expand

But you had not left. So why are you advising me?

Posted by Jazzypiecesofpisces
**Please read second paragraph for additional information if you so choose **

Hello all, I will try not to make this too long and greatly appreciate all of your help. So the basic question is if a capricorn loves you and only ended things because he felt his life was falling apart and he could not give you what you deserved (he felt he was hurting me and that i deserved better, said he didn't want me to be broken because of him... he said it was out of love because he knew id stick around despite being hurt and feels it would be best if he just let me go) is it possible in your opinion that he will come back?

He has some deep seeded belief that he is a bad person he is currently in therapy trying to work through his issues. He has never truly hurt me aside from little things (like basic stuff a sensitive pisces would be hurt by) but that has only been on two occasions.

*MORE INFO*

I truly feel as if I met the man I am meant to spend the rest of my life with in this man. When we first met there was an instantaneous mental connection and we literally would talk on the phone for hours (longest 7 hours average 3 hours) . We had so many insane syncronicities. He truly understood me on some very deep soul level that often brought me to tears because it was as if he could articulate for me my emotions better than i could. Anyways this man has gone through alot of very hard deep emotional tramuas in life (trust me when i say this).

From the beginning he let me know he wanted to build a friendship with me before moving to a romantic relationship as he felt that would give him some level of safety. He expressed that he wasnt where he felt he should be in life at the moment (he is also a single father) and at our time of meeting he felt he had a lot on his plate to sort out. So for 6 months we were friends and each others therapists, and motivator and teacher etc. I've never been so close to a man before in my life.

One night in tears he expressed to me that i was everything and that this was perfect and everything he ever wanted and that it was not fair that he should meet me now when he felt his life was falling apart.

Anyways as i began to fall for him i wanted to know where we were headed his response would be that he wanted to be with me but he knew he couldn't focus on me the way that i deserved and focus on his child and himself the way that they deserved at that moment. At about 6 month point when I was sure I had fallen in love with him, I let him know that i knew he was afraid but that i wanted to be with him and understood that he wouldn't be able to give me whatever he felt i deserved. Also that i felt that everything he was doing was amazing and i couldn't ask for more. He seemed to be opening to the idea but still said he felt he wasnt ready. Then a week later he mentioned something that to me indicated he wanted to be together, so i brought it up again which ultimately led to him becoming upset with me and telling me that he was done. I was really taken back by this and i asked him what happened and why he ended it so abruptly (as that was not like him) he didnt answer so I apologized and backed off.

After 2 weeks he sent me a very long heartfelt message in which he said that he loved me (my first time ever hearing him say that) and that he had to let me go. He said that he couldn't begin to thank me for my friendship and all the care and concern I showed and everything I had taught him & that he felt indebted to me and thus knew he had to let me go. He said he never wanted to hurt me and was sorry that he had... he said i deserved someone that could give me the love that i needed deserved and desired. He said he felt i would never make the call for myself so it is out of love that he has done it. He told me that he is amazed at the woman he sees in me and knows that letting me go is for the best and i will always be in his heart.

His message broke me to pieces as I had no idea he loved me... had i known things would have been different. Anyways now it is over... i replied to his message letting him know i loved him as well and how great of a man i know he is and that i respect his need to let go and hope that it wont have to be goodbye forever...

I know this is all out if fear for him.. the last time he opened himself up to love it blew up in his face (he has not been in a relationship since his ex wife).Is it possible that he will come back? If he truly loves me and what we had was as special as i know and felt it was will he hold on to the whole "you deserve better" thing and never come back? Please... someone let me know what you think...

Hi ? I'm a Capricorn myself and if I leave a relationship it will be because I cannot give that man I love what he needs. And it is likely I won't come back either. Please don't take what I'm telling you as me being harsh though. I'm not being harsh I am being honest with you as a Capricorn.

However, I have a tendency to feel very very guilty for not giving a man what he needs so I can sometimes, stay in said r'ship and give (whatever it is), to him, to the detriment of myself and then it ends up with me suffering, which in turn causes me to feel resentment.

So on that note, it is probably better that he left in order to sort himself out, rather than him staying and possibly end up making you feel bad unintentionally. He may come back, he may not. If it was me, I may come back, saying I'm sorry etc.

Hope this helps somehow..

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

I had perfect record for 20 years.

I bet you see no fault of yours.

This is why he snapped!

I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

Yes

Posted by Gemitati
I bet you see no fault of yours.

False. I'm very self-aware, including my faults.

Posted by Gemitati
I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

According to him, he never cheated. When I said he was you, he was complaining...if you don't want to be married to him, then leave. It really is just that simple. If you'd rather stay, then stop complaining and fantasizing about another man and how he's so in love with you.

Please, think and tell. Do you think he was the only one is guilty of cheating or you drew him into it?

We had multiple issues in our marriage.

But you had not left. So why are you advising me?

Fyi: I'm not advising you do anything. I was just sharing my thoughts aloud

click to expand

How long did you have multiply issues before you left?

Did you have kids, house?

Posted by ElvisStalinWoods

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by ElvisStalinWoods

Posted by Gemitati
I do not believe man let go woman he loves because he is not good enough for her.

I see it as a cowardly lame excuse. If you love each other - you love trough thick

and thin. And jumping hoops together. How can you let go person you LOVE?

You can let go of the person you love out of both fear of vulnerability and care for them.

Been in that situation. When I hit a low and everything is out of order, every small mishap or additional problem feels like the grave getting deeper by a foot. Your demons cloud your thoughts and sense of judgement.

As a Capricorn, once at that point, I'm not taking a step forward with shit all if I can't quite predict where it will go, especially if this happens to be something that involves emotions (room for my getting hurt if I screw up).

I've also found myself more concerned about where I'm perception-wise when dating a water sign (people more susceptible to picking up whatever lingers around them). If I'm all bad vibes I feel like I'm more a plague/downer anytime I open my mouth and interact with a loved one, I'll start withdrawing. I want to be with this person and that means I want to make them happy. My problems are my abyss and I don't have to be dragging anyone down there, especially someone I want to give the world to.

If I can't grab a hold of the bad state, the reasons above will make me consider withdrawing from the s/o until I can do better.

On the more insecure/somewhat possessive side of things, if the problems I'm going through include financial issues, I will much sooner try to end things.

Capricorn view of reality is: you aren't worth shit as a partner if you can't support your loved one. No one will forever stay faithful to a pauper. Someone better and more stable will likely come by and whisk your partner away and it'll hurt like a bitch.

The other side of the coin is that the Capricorn is hoping that this is true love and s/o will stay by you through thick and thin.

These two thoughts bounce back and forth in your head like a ping pong ball mid-tournament. The darker the headspace and more difficult the life situation. The former idea wins out while your heart is still hoping for the latter. Fear and need of control step in. You take a breath and pull the plug.

All euphemisms and my 6am brain poetry aside, OP, the idea of him returning is possible if everything gets lined up. But the longer it takes, the less likely as we'll expect you'd likely hate us or not give two shits by that time.

Cap I am married to don't think he must support the family and a lot of you wrote he doesn't do nor give a damn about...except me staying with him trough thin...

Probably stopped giving a damn a long time ago then.

click to expand

Be nice!

No, you are wrong here.

We had an argument and I was usually came to make up first no matter whos fault it was.

This time I was too preoccupied with new job, old love and life in general.

So I moved to another room for a week.

Then I left house for a week.

And I wasn't a bit concern about his feelings (for the first time in 23 years. He got to me!)

So he wrote me a text of LOVE YOU stuff with hope we can get it all back.

I wrote back (old fashion way with pencil on a paper)...you hurt me this time so I need time and I am going to be back when I feel like it.

He made all the efforts he had not ever made before to get me back to bed. Not for sex, just to feel together.

So it is not what you say.

I had been always his 'broad shoulders' to hide behind. I was sheltering him from reality of life. Because I loved him. When I had met someone who said 'I will make you coffee' - I died!

Like 'is it possible?'

Someone will make ME coffee? But it was long after we had met and been friends and started affair.

Then ended affair, Then continue affair...

So I am just saying you can toot Caps horn but not every Cap is like you describe.

Probably those who have bitchy wives determined to please. Those lucky ones like mine - don't have to!

So.............

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

I had perfect record for 20 years.

I bet you see no fault of yours.

This is why he snapped!

I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

Yes

Posted by Gemitati
I bet you see no fault of yours.

False. I'm very self-aware, including my faults.

Posted by Gemitati
I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

According to him, he never cheated. When I said he was you, he was complaining...if you don't want to be married to him, then leave. It really is just that simple. If you'd rather stay, then stop complaining and fantasizing about another man and how he's so in love with you.

Please, think and tell. Do you think he was the only one is guilty of cheating or you drew him into it?

We had multiple issues in our marriage.

But you had not left. So why are you advising me?

Fyi: I'm not advising you do anything. I was just sharing my thoughts aloud

How long did you have multiply issues before you left?

Did you have kids, house?

Kids & house yes. Some issues 1 month into marriage, others about 3 years prior to tge end and it progressively got worse.

click to expand

So you haven't picked up and left immediately?

I do not have 'issues'. It is all cozy and boring. Nothing really different from years ago except I am in love and trying to figure out how to break off without hurting people.

My love is also married so his deal is even harder than mine.

We both just taking it easy as hard as it is.

It had been years but closer than ever since spring.

So why would I leave? I don't have 'issues'. If I had major issues I would be out in a heartbeat.

I am Gemini after all.

So thanks for your opinion and hope you are happy.

BUT if I'll beback in 2 years with same 'issue' make sure to remind me that decent people leave within 3 years or so.

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

I had perfect record for 20 years.

I bet you see no fault of yours.

This is why he snapped!

I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

Posted by Gemitati
Have you ever thought why was he like me?

Yes

Posted by Gemitati
I bet you see no fault of yours.

False. I'm very self-aware, including my faults.

Posted by Gemitati
I mean if he was serial cheater - than he isn't like me.

According to him, he never cheated. When I said he was you, he was complaining...if you don't want to be married to him, then leave. It really is just that simple. If you'd rather stay, then stop complaining and fantasizing about another man and how he's so in love with you.

Please, think and tell. Do you think he was the only one is guilty of cheating or you drew him into it?

We had multiple issues in our marriage.

But you had not left. So why are you advising me?

Fyi: I'm not advising you do anything. I was just sharing my thoughts aloud

How long did you have multiply issues before you left?

Did you have kids, house?

Kids & house yes. Some issues 1 month into marriage, others about 3 years prior to tge end and it progressively got worse.

So you haven't picked up and left immediately?

I do not have 'issues'. It is all cozy and boring. Nothing really different from years ago except I am in love and trying to figure out how to break off without hurting people.

My love is also married so his deal is even harder than mine.

We both just taking it easy as hard as it is.

It had been years but closer than ever since spring.

So why would I leave? I don't have 'issues'. If I had major issues I would be out in a heartbeat.

I am Gemini after all.

So thanks for your opinion and hope you are happy.

BUT if I'll beback in 2 years with same 'issue' make sure to remind me that decent people leave within 3 years or so.

I wasn't in love with another man, nor was he in love with another woman. Color it however you want to make yourself feel better. Wrong is wrong. You're marriage is boring enough to make you step out, then why hold on? Yet you'd be pissed if the shoe was on the other foot

click to expand

He was obviously is! He cheated on you? Do you think he got a prostitute for $ 20?

It takes time to get some!

I wouldn't be pissed off. I was actually suggesting he looked around if he is bored with me.

He started looking but was too lazy to open up emails. I was looking and telling him there are nice broads.

You will never GET IT until this is happenniing to you. So do not judge.

Again...MAJOR issues and staying for 3 years? It I s odd to ME.

I said I am cozy and comfy! Why would I leave?