Some help with a Cappy guy please!

This Cappy guy is driving me crazy...hope you can help.

We dated for a couple of months, I was only just out of 8 year relationship, and wasnt really ready for anything serious and he said the same.
He used to stay over with me though for weekends like three nights at a time and went as far as to leave his shampoo and his jumper there one wekeend. He wasnt very romantic but little touches here and there would make me smile....
Anyways it went downhill when i became really clingly and possessive and accused him of cheating when I was drunk one night.( i realise now maybe it was his distance and thinking time he needed)

He has a lot of female friends and I felt that he was still dating when we were together (keeping his options open by just being friends with them all) and I couldnt trust him. Bear in mind my issues were based on my previous hurt...

Anyways, he wanted to be just friends then and i took this extremely personally as he didnt find me attractive. We agreed on FWB but I wasnt happy with this and we fought for the last time and i told him i wasnt happy with just that and i wish i had met him 6 months down the line as I had stuff to deal with and i couldnt trust him.

When he left i was heartbron and unfortunately became very clingly and used to annoy him a lot (cringe)

Anyways, once i cooled off and deleted his number three times..he would get back in touch.
We talked every now & then over the last four months and everytime he would say lets meet up.

Anyways, last month we decided ( we like same music) that we would go to some concerts together. Him suggested it..
I agreed and he asked me for a drink. Told him i would be free on fri (which turned out to be valetines day)
He texted that day and I met him for drink, went well and we flirted a little, (though its hard to tell with him!) he even made a flirty comment the next day online.

Ok well i havent seen him since and again weve been texting back and forth (at one stage though he didnt reply for over a week and i became annoyed at this but didnt say anything)
Last week he said about going away for a weekend to a concert...(as friends?)

Heres my problem. He asked to meet up on Saturday for a drink, i agreed and was excited (considering he had just asked me to go away for a weekend)
But then i say online some girl was flirting with him as as it turns out hes meeting her too....
I was distraught and told me then I wasnt available.

My question to all you sexy confusing headwrecking Capricorns out there..
Do you mean what you say??

Am i jumping to conclusions if hes asked me away for a weekend?
And if he flirted with me in public does he mean that he might like me?

I know you like to take things slow and I like that, but I think I may have blown it now by saying I wasnt avaialable.

Any advice on his behaviour would be helpful as I really dont know where I stand...what if he just wants to be friends. Do you go to that much effort just to be friends with a girl?

DonAmanMarat

Why am I an idiot— Why are you being a douche about it??

Oh ok.....well now i do feel like an idiot. i just thought that the way capricorn men do it.

Take it slow and that. Im not used to it! Im a confident Libra, but this guy is driving me nuts!! 😢

What dya mean a numbers game..?

Why would he bother asking me away for a weekend, if he was just looking for friendship, couldnt he ask any of his other girl "friends"?
Just to hang out? Thats so confusing!

OK, so what do i do then, just ignore him then you reckon?
Im dating other people anyways, should I tell him im seeing someone just to get him to snap out of it.

Ive been told that this is the way Capricorns are though, they like to be friends first and take it slow..

Posted by DonAmanMarat
He gonna keep splashin you with drinks til you finally crack open, an once you do you will be ANOTHER "female friend."

Don's right.

He obviously doesn't want a relationship, yet he's willing to take advantage of your clinginess into an FWB situation. He's relying on low self esteem (admit it, secure, confident women aren't clingy or needy or desperate) to seal the deal.

Blow him off and find a guy who's going to treat you better. Don't accept crumbs from this guy. He's just a player (aka loser) who is in it just for shitz and giggles.

Posted by JennaLee80
What dya mean a numbers game..?

Why would he bother asking me away for a weekend, if he was just looking for friendship, couldnt he ask any of his other girl "friends"?
Just to hang out? Thats so confusing!

Numbers game = how many options he has out there. How many girls he has in his back pocket. How many girls on stand by who's ready, willing and able.

He wants to keep you as an option. Don't be somebody's option. Be somebody's first choice.

Do you mean what you say?? Pretty much.

Am i jumping to conclusions if hes asked me away for a weekend? Yes.

And if he flirted with me in public does he mean that he might like me? Not necessarily.

I know you like to take things slow and I like that, but I think I may have blown it now by saying I wasnt avaialable. No. You are showing him you're not one of his little "friends" who's going to accept being the weekend booty.

Any advice on his behaviour would be helpful as I really dont know where I stand...what if he just wants to be friends. Do you go to that much effort just to be friends with a girl? If he was really your friend, he wouldn't be treating you this way. He would treat you with value and respect.

Wow. Ya know I hated to admit it to myself truecap, that that was the case and kept beating myself up coz he would make me feel bad for my crazy behaviour (we had some nasty fights were I said some bad stuff) but then I would contact him again.

He knew I was going through a rough time but I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. God i feel so stupid because I always see the best in people and didnt want to be believe that he was stringing me along...

Well im just going to ignore him now but, we have said that we have planned to go to concerts together in June and July. So hopefully I can accept just a friendship by then....And hopefully ill have a much better guy on my arm...😉

Wow. Ya know I hated to admit it to myself truecap, that that was the case and kept beating myself up coz he would make me feel bad for my crazy behaviour (we had some nasty fights were I said some bad stuff) but then I would contact him again.

He knew I was going through a rough time but I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. God i feel so stupid because I always see the best in people and didnt want to be believe that he was stringing me along...

Well im just going to ignore him now but, we have said that we have planned to go to concerts together in June and July. So hopefully I can accept just a friendship by then....And hopefully ill have a much better guy on my arm...😉

I could be wrong, ya know. I only had what you told us to go on to make my opinion.

But, my impression is that if they really like you, they're not going to make you crazy by instilling doubt in you (do the things that make you crazy). If they like you, they'll make a point to make sure there is no question as to what they're doing or who they're doing it with. If they like you, they won't make you an option. If they like you, you'll be treated with respect and dignity and not a booty call.

I'm sorry. 😢

No its cool 🙂
Ive been hurting a lot about this and always put it down to the fact that Im out of a long relationship not long ago and still a little raw from it.

At the end of the day he can always say its been a friend thing. I really think he might not realise hes hurting me intentionally but whether he is seeing this other girl or not (she made comments about "feeling loved") then if he is only friends with her hes going to hurt her...and i dont think I want any part of that to be honest.

All I wanted over the last few months was for us to hang out and that and my dream would have been for us to go away for a weekend but if I hadnt seen the comments online, I would have been none the wiser. Im glad I told him Im not available now and like you said, if he really wants me on any other level apart from FWB or even friends then hell make more of an effort.... I just hope he doesnt think that Im not interested in my ditching of our plans.

I just kept thinking because of the weekend thing and the flirting he may have been letting his feelings none as I know that some Caps have a problem with that, am i wrong with that assumption?

You can always still go on the trip and have a good time. Nothing wrong with that. 🙂

Haha, yea would love to but Im a big bad wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve Libra and Im not too good at hiding my emotions! 😉

Ill get drunk and emotional or try and seduce him! (and worse he knows that too) haha 🙂