What is the best way to break up with a cappy guy?

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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by LadyNeptune
How long have you been dating? Have you slept together? Do you see each other outside of the relationship, work, mutual friends, etc.

9+ months nothing official, yes slept together
click to expand

Everything except meeting friends and family.. I tried to ask him 3x already in 9 months time and he always tell me soon or one of these days..

But i had a post a month ago about a cappy guy who cooks me dinner , call me every night and text me almost everyday in between works just to check me how i am doing or asking how is my day..

But i feel like , we are not moving forward...
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by wagtail
Posted by LadyNeptune
How long have you been dating? Have you slept together? Do you see each other outside of the relationship, work, mutual friends, etc.
👋 check it out here too, more activiteh in this'un

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/breaking-up-text-or-call-6595810/

click to expand


That's me...—.. I dunno where to post it.. Capricorn forum or relationship..
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wagtail
@wagtail
13 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1648 · Posts: 8305 · Topics: 67
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by wagtail
Posted by LadyNeptune
How long have you been dating? Have you slept together? Do you see each other outside of the relationship, work, mutual friends, etc.
👋 check it out here too, more activiteh in this'un

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/relationships/breaking-up-text-or-call-6595810/



That's me...—.. I dunno where to post it.. Capricorn forum or relationship..

click to expand

yeh it's good to do a couple of posts sometimes, that way if people miss one- you get responses in another 🙂
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by LadyNeptune
How long have you been dating? Have you slept together? Do you see each other outside of the relationship, work, mutual friends, etc.

9+ months nothing official, yes slept together
Everything except meeting friends and family.. I tried to ask him 3x already in 9 months time and he always tell me soon or one of these days..

But i had a post a month ago about a cappy guy who cooks me dinner , call me every night and text me almost everyday in between works just to check me how i am doing or asking how is my day..

But i feel like , we are not moving forward...
click to expand

It simple then. Really.

Sit him down and tell him you met someone else that fulfills you in ways he can't. Then go onto list all of the above.

Tell him that your new guy has introduced you to his friends and family and he makes you feel secure and wanted. Tell him that you need to be with someone who is on the same page as you and isn't ashamed to include you in all aspects of their life.

Then wish him the best and walk out the door. Cut off all contact with him.

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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
in fairness to him, he is good to me.. One thing i don't like is that never giving status to our relationship, (if you call it relationship since it has no status?)
its the fault of both of you
Why you say that?
he's having you then he dont care about the rest, why it need a title, if you need a title ask for it

click to expand

Did you see my other posts? I asked him couple of times and he will ask me instead, like "are you not happy to be with me?"

You are a cap so maybe you have some ideas..
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
in fairness to him, he is good to me.. One thing i don't like is that never giving status to our relationship, (if you call it relationship since it has no status?)
its the fault of both of you
Why you say that?
he's having you then he dont care about the rest, why it need a title, if you need a title ask for it


Did you see my other posts? I asked him couple of times and he will ask me instead, like "are you not happy to be with me?"

You are a cap so maybe you have some ideas..

Are you not happy to be with me? Translation: i'm here...with you...in the flesh...doing things with & for you...would you rather I call you my girlfriend then disappear because I feel vulnerable for verbally discussing my emotions.

Again if a cap is making time for you, that's commitment, there are a million other things we could be doing besides spending our time with someone who questions our intentions, sincerity, loyalty and isn't appreciative.

Just my 2 cents

Does he live with someone else?

click to expand

His two kids.. 19 ang 15 y/os
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RumiLove
@RumiL
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 29 · Posts: 6809 · Topics: 59
I dont remember how far you went with him.. But have some boundaries and go about with your life while dating him and being with him.. If he's not involving you in his life wholly it means he needs time..

It's hard to make commitment so easily especially when has two teenage kids. 9 months is nothing lol.. Capricorns are very slow, I can only imagine his slowness considering his situation.. It's understandable. Brb
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by busyeyes88
Posted by ParisianCappy
i wont help you, please othe cap here RESPECT the BroCornCode.
Big time!! These girls are pathetic!!! Virgos are P.I.T.A!!!
click to expand

You have a very very very sharp tongue that divides at the end.. I can read all your posts and mostly they are hatred.. Just be very careful coz your arrogance will bring you down.. You think yourself as ALMIGHTY BIATCH...If You can't say something nice just don't..

The way you answer to some other people posts, shows what personality you have.. Honesty and being candid is good but bringing other people down is no good.. You have never been in their shoes . Before you clean other people backyard, do yours first..

I rather be EDUCATED than INTELLIGENT..If you can figure out the difference..
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Chance_11
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by LadyNeptune
How long have you been dating? Have you slept together? Do you see each other outside of the relationship, work, mutual friends, etc.

9+ months nothing official, yes slept together
Everything except meeting friends and family.. I tried to ask him 3x already in 9 months time and he always tell me soon or one of these days..

But i had a post a month ago about a cappy guy who cooks me dinner , call me every night and text me almost everyday in between works just to check me how i am doing or asking how is my day..

But i feel like , we are not moving forward...
It simple then. Really.

Sit him down and tell him you met someone else that fulfills you in ways he can't. Then go onto list all of the above.

Tell him that your new guy has introduced you to his friends and family and he makes you feel secure and wanted. Tell him that you need to be with someone who is on the same page as you and isn't ashamed to include you in all aspects of their life.

Then wish him the best and walk out the door. Cut off all contact with him.



this is a slut method, no dissrespect.


I know, right? Leave it to the water sign to try and punch you in the feels on the way out the door (j/k ladyneptune) 😄

If it's a dish better served cold..what about good old fashioned cold turkey? It's been an undesirable, unsavory treat for eons 🙂

Did anyone mention severance package yet *hits cymbols*


this kind of method can destroy someone
click to expand

Hey if he can't give the Op what she wants the most honest thing is to sit him down and end it and tell him why. Lying about having another man in the picture is a way for her to protect herself.

They were never exclusive, even though the Op pushed for it, so if he feels any twinge of regret for not locking her down that's on him.

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Sunsetvirgo
@Sunsetvirgo
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1035 · Posts: 5643 · Topics: 48
Someone had said that "would you rather have him doing all of these things for you without a title or calling you a girlfriend and disappearing because he talked of his emotional status towards you."

LMFAOOO wot. Why should it be either/or ?

I see why you want this validation bc I'm a Virgo myself. Or at least something.

Besides, being together 9 months I would hope that he's confessed some sort of "I like you" or this would be very awkward and would mean that you're in a relationship by yourself and he's simply entertaining you. So wouldn't that be a form of emotional expression, did he cower away then? He's a big boy. And if putting a title on your whatever the hell this is, is going to cause him to close up. Leave him.
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
Wierd: correction
go argue with your man, not with us, you want an argue with him in fact, did you ever argue with him ?
click to expand

I did. Twice and he always comes back.. I am not arguing with THEM .. It 's you.. You seemed like you hate virgos.. Not all virgos are the same just like cappies.. Everyone is unique, have their own traits and personalities—
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by Virgiene
Wierd: correction
go argue with your man, not with us, you want an argue with him in fact, did you ever argue with him ?

I did. Twice and he always comes back.. I am not arguing with THEM .. It 's you.. You seemed like you hate virgos.. Not all virgos are the same just like cappies.. Everyone is unique, have their own traits and personalities—

i dont hate weirgo i like them, what was about this argue, did he argued back

click to expand

Cappies don't like drama, what do you expect?
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by Chance_11
@LadyNeptune

The most honest thing to do is to lie? lol That's never a good policy. It's still a lie and not a very convincing one when one tries to pull it off. Caps, like Pisces, know when people are lying to them. You just make yourself look weak going down that path.

For the way she's been treated in this scenario, she doesn't owe him anything. Closure has already been given through actions and the conversations that haven taken place between the two of them. I don't see why girls try to affect someone that's obviously not showing the level of interest she deserves under the guise of repeated 'closure.' The result will still be the same.


If she doesn't 'owe him anything' according to you wouldn't that include the truth?

If you've read her other posts/threads she is considering breaking up with him through text/phone because she's afraid that if she does it face to face he'll be able to convince her otherwise.

By telling him there is someone else in the picture she removes herself from being available in his eyes. By explaining that she's found the things he won't give her in someone else she is prioritizing what she wants out of a relationship while communicating succinctly exactly how he failed to give her those things.

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Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3848 · Topics: 46
Look, if you're not happy with his actions and you need people/him to blow smoke up your ass with words and no follow through, then break up with him, there's plenty of guys out there willing to just tell you what you want to hear. You'll both get over it eventually and move on.

From my pov, he's been with you, but if you can't see that then directly TELL him that you want to be his girlfriend if you're wanting a label, dont casually ask him..."so, what are we?"

Also i wouldn't tell him you've been seeing someone else, it'll just backfire, and you wouldn't need to figure out the "best way" to "break up", he'll do it for you no problem. Then this whole tactical move of yours will just blow up in your face, and rightfully so.
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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by Chance_11
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Chance_11
@LadyNeptune

The most honest thing to do is to lie? lol That's never a good policy. It's still a lie and not a very convincing one when one tries to pull it off. Caps, like Pisces, know when people are lying to them. You just make yourself look weak going down that path.

For the way she's been treated in this scenario, she doesn't owe him anything. Closure has already been given through actions and the conversations that haven taken place between the two of them. I don't see why girls try to affect someone that's obviously not showing the level of interest she deserves under the guise of repeated 'closure.' The result will still be the same.


If she doesn't 'owe him anything' according to you wouldn't that include the truth?

If you've read her other posts/threads she is considering breaking up with him through text/phone because she's afraid that if she does it face to face he'll be able to convince her otherwise.

By telling him there is someone else in the picture she removes herself from being available in his eyes. By explaining that she's found the things he won't give her in someone else she is prioritizing what she wants out of a relationship while communicating succinctly exactly how he failed to give her those things.




Those are two different things. Her not owing him anything doesn't mean she has to rely on a ruse to communicate that..mostly because it's easily found out and exposed. I've seen people try to do that and 1. it's rarely believed and 2. it usually backfires. Instead of what she's trying to convey, the focus will shift to what looks like dishonesty and game playing which only exacerbate the situation and keep it going rather than the desired opposite effect. You can't face your fears by replacing them with others.

click to expand

To each their own then. *Shrug

I've extracted my self from a failing relationship this way and it was successful for me.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4771 · Topics: 30
@Virgiene,

My gut instinct tells me that you're very insecure and in need of constant validation. However, you take a passive-aggressive approach to solving problems, hoping that he reads your subtle hints. You will never be satisfied with what a man offers you, unless he makes you the center of his entire universe.

You stated that you wanted to go to the next level?

Most Caps are family-oriented, has he spoken about his family members?

Have you expressed any interest in his family members, asked questions, made suggestions, etc?

He's a single father, which would make perfect sense for the hesitation.

How are you communicating?

The issue here isn't the fact that the Cap is moving slow.

He is moving like a man who is in love...and in a relationship...but still being mindful and cautious of his children.

But feel free to break up with him. There are plenty of fast losers available. They will make you the center of their universe. They have nothing to lose.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4771 · Topics: 30
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Chance_11
@LadyNeptune

The most honest thing to do is to lie? lol That's never a good policy. It's still a lie and not a very convincing one when one tries to pull it off. Caps, like Pisces, know when people are lying to them. You just make yourself look weak going down that path.

For the way she's been treated in this scenario, she doesn't owe him anything. Closure has already been given through actions and the conversations that haven taken place between the two of them. I don't see why girls try to affect someone that's obviously not showing the level of interest she deserves under the guise of repeated 'closure.' The result will still be the same.


If she doesn't 'owe him anything' according to you wouldn't that include the truth?

If you've read her other posts/threads she is considering breaking up with him through text/phone because she's afraid that if she does it face to face he'll be able to convince her otherwise.

By telling him there is someone else in the picture she removes herself from being available in his eyes. By explaining that she's found the things he won't give her in someone else she is prioritizing what she wants out of a relationship while communicating succinctly exactly how he failed to give her those things.



click to expand

This is the WORST method. He will congratulate himself for not taking it further. No love lost.

If she is still persistent, there wouldn't even be a ground zero for her to start with.

He will 'ice' her out entirely.

If she wants out, the best approach is a more dignified approach.

After all he is not an @ssh*le, he's been real good to her. The OP said it herself.

Her best bet is writing him a long letter....ending the relationship, stating clear intentions, reasons, and ending things amicably.

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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4771 · Topics: 30
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by Virgiene
Posted by ParisianCappy
this weirgo done 4 thread about dumping his boyfriend, i think this is not that, she dont want to dump him, she s wanting attention, i dont know, maybe she wants to argue with him or somthing like that
I am wierd?

Have you noticed most of the posts here about cappies are mostly the same? They don't understand cappies coz they are giving mixed signals.

It's not mixed signals lol. People want words, when we give them words then they don't want to listen. Caps are action oriented, it's just the way we are.

Also people don't take the time to get to know us. When I truly love someone they can have the shirt off my back, shoes off my feet, my heart, paycheck, whatever...I'd go to the ends of the earth & back seriously. People take our loyalty & commitment for granted.

click to expand

This is the BEST statement.

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LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 11076 · Posts: 35719 · Topics: 110
Posted by starlover
Ladies,

Beware of the *words* ~ i have known men promise me things and then never back the words up with anything of substance. One guy i met, we had a very strong sexual connection and early on on the rship i told him it couldn't continue as he was younger and i didn't want any more children. He told me *I don't want children*. This he said before diving into me lol.

Run time forward and sure enough he starts looking at children and i was looking at him looking at them....i let him go to find his future

Words are meaningless, in the main and if i had a euro for every time i heard a man say *i promise i will behave better, change* etc, then i would be very rich

Words can be empty




This struck close to home. Sending you a pm

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WateryVirgo
@WateryVirgo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 3
Posted by DontWant2FitIn
There is nothing wrong with wanting a title. I don't give a damn how long I am with a mfker you better put a title on it or I will find someone who will. There is nothing pathetic about wanting to know where you stand. Fuck astrology and how a virgo man rolls his ass better roll a title outof his mouth or get rolled over.
I love this! LOL

Sounds like a conversation that I had with a very recent ex. As if his time is more valuable than mine; this Virgo will not be strung along until HE decides when the next step will be, refusing to define "whatever it is that we are". :eyeroll: I'm all for getting to know someone before being exclusive/committing, but I'm finding that more than half of the time, it's bul.l $ h!t.
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WateryVirgo
@WateryVirgo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 3
Posted by starlover
Ladies,

Beware of the *words* ~ i have known men promise me things and then never back the words up with anything of substance. One guy i met, we had a very strong sexual connection and early on on the rship i told him it couldn't continue as he was younger and i didn't want any more children. He told me *I don't want children*. This he said before diving into me lol.

Run time forward and sure enough he starts looking at children and i was looking at him looking at them....i let him go to find his future

Words are meaningless, in the main and if i had a euro for every time i heard a man say *i promise i will behave better, change* etc, then i would be very rich

Words can be empty




However, what I have found with the Caps that I've dated throughout my life, is that they deliberately avoid saying the words (giving the relationship a title) as a strategy. They know that if they say the words, then there will have to be action to back those words; I agree with the poster above that they do mean what they say. So, they keep things going (stringing the woman along, chilling, "kicking it"), refusing to elaborate on what the relationship (or whatever it MAY be) status is. What I have found is that they are really loners at heart; they feel like they can take you or leave you and everything has to be on their terms or it's a no-go.

I will not be one of those women crying and bitter because they put 5-10 years of their lives into an undefined relationship.
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
I broke up with him already 4 days ago face to face but the day i broke up with him, the following day he was in front of my door...

I really like him ( or love him already ).and now I am asking myself, is title really important? I can see some people gave you that title , Mrs/Mr. So and so but after 5 years , to each his own..what is the difference ?

He still calls me every night before he goes to sleep and text me in between his jobs..

And he wants us to get back together again.
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StingTailedLibra
@LibraLovesHim
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 9 · Posts: 3545 · Topics: 253
Posted by Virgiene
I broke up with him already 4 days ago face to face but the day i broke up with him, the following day he was in front of my door...

I really like him ( or love him already ).and now I am asking myself, is title really important? I can see some people gave you that title , Mrs/Mr. So and so but after 5 years , to each his own..what is the difference ?

He still calls me every night before he goes to sleep and text me in between his jobs..

And he wants us to get back together again.
If you seriously want to be rid of him, you may have to be cruel to be kind and bruise his ego majorly. Although I wouldnt recommend it I have been there. But he was a toxic Cappy.

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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by SuperMercurial
Posted by Virgiene
I broke up with him already 4 days ago face to face but the day i broke up with him, the following day he was in front of my door...

I really like him ( or love him already ).and now I am asking myself, is title really important? I can see some people gave you that title , Mrs/Mr. So and so but after 5 years , to each his own..what is the difference ?

He still calls me every night before he goes to sleep and text me in between his jobs..

And he wants us to get back together again.
Wait, why don't you want to be with him again?
click to expand

I did not decide yet...
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WateryVirgo
@WateryVirgo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 3
Some of you are making it seem like a title is no big deal. I'm on the flip side and think that if it's really "no big deal", then why not give it? Why not give it to put the woman that you love at ease?

Like Cheekie said, people have different love style s. Giving her a title and reassurance is not something that she WANTS, it's something that she NEEDS. If it's really no big deal, and if he is sure about her and wants her, then he shouldn't have a problem giving it to her.
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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by CAPLOCK
This whole thing sounds immature

I think OP is so insecure that without a title, she still loves how he chases after her and begs her to stay. It feeds into her need of feeling wanted and needed. Didnt she mention she's already talking to someone else ?

I dont know what type of Capricorn male your dating but if it was me, my dick would be wet in another girl before your tears dry.
You just answered my question, CAPLOCk..

So some cappies don't wanna give us the title coz if somebody ask you "What am I to you," you will go to another woman and make your dick wet?

What's wrong answering that question? Unless you are not yet sure of the woman or she is just an option to you.

Idk, actions speaks louder than words but once in a while,IMO, a reassurance is nice too.
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WateryVirgo
@WateryVirgo
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 117 · Topics: 3
Posted by Foreverloveme
Caplock responded the way he did because you have a man at your front door the day after you break up with him & he's telling you he wants to be with you. What more do you want?? For him specifically to say will you be my girlfriend...
I think so. And him asking her to be his woman, to be exclusive, to be in a committed relationship with him shouldn't be a problem if that is in fact how he feels and what he wants.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4771 · Topics: 30
@Virgiene.

The relationship is now over.

Ok.

Fine.

Now you can stop pretending that you want the relationship to be over.

There is someone out there for you.

He will give you the title.

He will TELL you everything you 're looking for.

In case you're a little confused what the last statement indicated,

Real men give you what you're looking for.

Little Boys tell you what you're looking for.
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