Why are Capricorn men so damn hard to understand?

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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Why do Capricorn men have to be so damn difficult to read? I mean... I never know when to take him serious. I always have to ask "are u serious or are u playing?" His body language is monotone. Emotionless and dry! His actions doesn't always display what he says. Perfect example (the main cause of my rage), he said he didn't want a relationship. Ok, I'm fine with that. I wasn't looking for one either. So we might go a week talking everyday, then he might disappear for a week. When we do have time to talk on the phone, we talk for hrs, then he'll go MIA for a week. Unless I reach out to him (he always responds). Well this last time we talked we hadn't talked for about a week prior to, his first question to me is have I been getting sex from elsewhere. Why would u care if ur only wanting to be with me for sex? Of course I'm not sleeping with anyone else but him but I want going to answer his question, JUST BECASUE I DIDNT THINK I SHOULD HAVE! Next thing, he wants me to have his child! Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day. So all that to figure out, is this cap guy crazy or does he see a relationship as a possibility between us?
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HarleyTwinFlame
@HarleyTwinFlame
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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Why do Capricorn men have to be so damn difficult to read? I mean... I never know when to take him serious. I always have to ask "are u serious or are u playing?" His body language is monotone. Emotionless and dry! His actions doesn't always display what he says. Perfect example (the main cause of my rage), he said he didn't want a relationship. Ok, I'm fine with that. I wasn't looking for one either. So we might go a week talking everyday, then he might disappear for a week. When we do have time to talk on the phone, we talk for hrs, then he'll go MIA for a week. Unless I reach out to him (he always responds). Well this last time we talked we hadn't talked for about a week prior to, his first question to me is have I been getting sex from elsewhere. Why would u care if ur only wanting to be with me for sex? Of course I'm not sleeping with anyone else but him but I want going to answer his question, JUST BECASUE I DIDNT THINK I SHOULD HAVE! Next thing, he wants me to have his child! Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day. So all that to figure out, is this cap guy crazy or does he see a relationship as a possibility between us?

1. Cap men aren't difficult to read, women make them difficult to read.

2. That is our style of humor

3. He said he didn't want a relationship (face value). You agreed...& now want to know if he sees the possibility of a relationship....no. he doesn't.

4.. Any health conscious person will won't to know if you're clean or not, therefore asking if you're sleeping with others.

5. How old is he? & you? What's your sign? He wants you to have his child..translation: I want to fuck & cum in you...doesn't equal he actually wants you to have his child.

6. No. He's not crazy. He's honest.

7. Anyone I didn't care about having a relationship with, I wasn't tracking when we talked & how long in between because I didn't care.

8. If you want to marry, I'd recommend marrying 1st then having that other child you want.

9. Stop agreeing to things when that's not what you actually want.
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+1
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happyface1
@happyface1
10 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by AprilGaspard
Why do Capricorn men have to be so damn difficult to read? I mean... I never know when to take him serious. I always have to ask "are u serious or are u playing?" His body language is monotone. Emotionless and dry! His actions doesn't always display what he says. Perfect example (the main cause of my rage), he said he didn't want a relationship. Ok, I'm fine with that. I wasn't looking for one either. So we might go a week talking everyday, then he might disappear for a week. When we do have time to talk on the phone, we talk for hrs, then he'll go MIA for a week. Unless I reach out to him (he always responds). Well this last time we talked we hadn't talked for about a week prior to, his first question to me is have I been getting sex from elsewhere. Why would u care if ur only wanting to be with me for sex? Of course I'm not sleeping with anyone else but him but I want going to answer his question, JUST BECASUE I DIDNT THINK I SHOULD HAVE! Next thing, he wants me to have his child! Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day. So all that to figure out, is this cap guy crazy or does he see a relationship as a possibility between us?


Oh he's got you all in the head miss missy.

Listen to this HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

BUT WANTS A CHILD BY YOU.

let that marinate.



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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Why do Capricorn men have to be so damn difficult to read? I mean... I never know when to take him serious. I always have to ask "are u serious or are u playing?" His body language is monotone. Emotionless and dry! His actions doesn't always display what he says. Perfect example (the main cause of my rage), he said he didn't want a relationship. Ok, I'm fine with that. I wasn't looking for one either. So we might go a week talking everyday, then he might disappear for a week. When we do have time to talk on the phone, we talk for hrs, then he'll go MIA for a week. Unless I reach out to him (he always responds). Well this last time we talked we hadn't talked for about a week prior to, his first question to me is have I been getting sex from elsewhere. Why would u care if ur only wanting to be with me for sex? Of course I'm not sleeping with anyone else but him but I want going to answer his question, JUST BECASUE I DIDNT THINK I SHOULD HAVE! Next thing, he wants me to have his child! Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day. So all that to figure out, is this cap guy crazy or does he see a relationship as a possibility between us?

1. Cap men aren't difficult to read, women make them difficult to read.

2. That is our style of humor

3. He said he didn't want a relationship (face value). You agreed...& now want to know if he sees the possibility of a relationship....no. he doesn't.

4.. Any health conscious person will won't to know if you're clean or not, therefore asking if you're sleeping with others.

5. How old is he? & you? What's your sign? He wants you to have his child..translation: I want to fuck & cum in you...doesn't equal he actually wants you to have his child.

6. No. He's not crazy. He's honest.

7. Anyone I didn't care about having a relationship with, I wasn't tracking when we talked & how long in between because I didn't care.

8. If you want to marry, I'd recommend marrying 1st then having that other child you want.

9. Stop agreeing to things when that's not what you actually want.
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Him 38, me 32. Scorpio. 1 & 2 ok. 3 that's fine. 4 he got upset when he thought I was sleeping with someone else. 5 having someone's child isn't like borrowing sugar so I think it's more then just treetrumcking me raw. I mean we're already having great sex, just with a comdom. As serious and responsible of a person he usually is, it has to be something more. Not saying he's catching feelings but it has to be more than marking his territory. He's had plenty enough woman willing to have a child by him. To the point they have even lied and faked pregnancies. 6 if it's just about treetruncking then he is crazy and honest. Lol.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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7. Well why does he get mad if I don't reach out first? It's like he waits to see how long I'll take before I reach out to him. Then when I send him a text his reply is usually, oh it must be my turn now. Like wtf? Then when I say, no I've just been giving u ur space he'll say u don't need to explain we not together. Ok, I leave it alone and he'll find a way to bring it back up. 8 that's why it was only a thought. He caught me in one of my "relationship rants" and popped that question to me. 9 at that moment it was and as of right now, it's working for my needs. Please don't mistake this post for the usual we were treetrunking and I caught feelings. That is not the case. I am just curious as to how his mind is working and what this have my baby kick is. It's more of me being paranoid. Maybe he's trying to trap me or something. Lol.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by happyface1
Posted by AprilGaspard
Why do Capricorn men have to be so damn difficult to read? I mean... I never know when to take him serious. I always have to ask "are u serious or are u playing?" His body language is monotone. Emotionless and dry! His actions doesn't always display what he says. Perfect example (the main cause of my rage), he said he didn't want a relationship. Ok, I'm fine with that. I wasn't looking for one either. So we might go a week talking everyday, then he might disappear for a week. When we do have time to talk on the phone, we talk for hrs, then he'll go MIA for a week. Unless I reach out to him (he always responds). Well this last time we talked we hadn't talked for about a week prior to, his first question to me is have I been getting sex from elsewhere. Why would u care if ur only wanting to be with me for sex? Of course I'm not sleeping with anyone else but him but I want going to answer his question, JUST BECASUE I DIDNT THINK I SHOULD HAVE! Next thing, he wants me to have his child! Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day. So all that to figure out, is this cap guy crazy or does he see a relationship as a possibility between us?
click to expand

Oh he's got you all in the head miss missy.

Listen to this HE DOESN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP.

BUT WANTS A CHILD BY YOU.

let that marinate.

I marinated on it. Still doesn't make sense to me. I'm fine with the no relationship part, the have my child part is what confuses me. Why not have a child with someone u want a relationship with. Why me? He has had a couple woman lie and try to get prego by him. Why not ask one of them?
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Greentea
The child part I think he's trying to see how sprung you are on him, and see if you would say yes to it. Also the reason why he asked if you're sleeping with others.

Just wanted to add that, foreverloveme pretty much covered everything else.
Sprung, he knows I'm not. He's dead set on me being his child's mother tho. We have never had sex without a condom. We're both actually tested pretty regularly. Because I have an issue with trusting men, and I'm pretty sure he may be sleeping with other woman. Idk tho, just paranoid. Won't ask him because that's his business and we always use a condom.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Greentea
"He's had plenty enough woman willing to have a child by him. To the point they have even lied and faked pregnancies."

This doesn't sit well with me. I think he may be testing you, or he's pulled this kind of stunt before.
Testing me why? The type of woman he's fooled around with before we're looking for a meal ticket (childsupport). He's financially stable, good looking and great in bed. His personality can be addictive too. Trust if I didn't have a few marbles of sense, I may would have tried to "trap" him too! Has he ever done this before, idk but what I know of him, I wouldn't think.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by Greentea
The child part I think he's trying to see how sprung you are on him, and see if you would say yes to it. Also the reason why he asked if you're sleeping with others.

Just wanted to add that, foreverloveme pretty much covered everything else.
Sprung, he knows I'm not. He's dead set on me being his child's mother tho. We have never had sex without a condom. We're both actually tested pretty regularly. Because I have an issue with trusting men, and I'm pretty sure he may be sleeping with other woman. Idk tho, just paranoid. Won't ask him because that's his business and we always use a condom.
It's just about the condom. Has nothing to do with him actually wanting a child
click to expand


So u think it's a game for him?
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Yes I think you're paranoid. If you don't want a relationship...stop doing the extra with him, as far as communication etc. If it's just sex let it be just sex, you have to make it plain if you don't want him thinking relationship.

How can he trap you? You use condoms....you're in control of that. If you don't trust him get on birth control...again you're in control of that.

So what specifically do you want to know?

Why does he get upset? Well men are territorial whether it's relationship, dating, or just sex...that's just their nature.

What else is it you want to know or are questioning?
I may be. As for communication. I mean how can u be intimate with someone and not talk. I thought we were at least friends. "Hey how was ur day? What's going on in ur world. Oh ok, that's cool." I mean I shouldn't care at all? Hmmm? I'm just trying to figure out why the hell he chose me to ask to have his child? Or why he chose me to play mind games with. Again... This is all confusing to me. The man I know him to be is a hard worker, dedicated family man and a logical thinker. I need to know his logic with this.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Geez...okay I really recommend you ask yourself what you want from this situation...really take time & think about it

A) keep things the way they are

B) move forward (ie. Relationship)

C) end things

Idk in my mind these are the possible outcomes.

I honestly can't imagine why he'd want another child at 38, but who knows...have you guys never had that discussion? Do you want more kids? Is too enough? I can't imagine that not coming up in conversation at some point.

I honestly think it's just the condom thing. Anytime I've said I wanted to have someonecd child, I didn't mean it. I really just meant I want to do the act that leads to making children lol

After a year & 1/2, I'm in if I like the person (female vs male) could be different.

All the we're not together talk & I guess it's my turn is because you say you don't want a relationship so that's how he's behaving...I guess you could say it's his jealousy for lack of a better way of describing it.
We did have a discussion and that's how this was brought up. We were talking about what we eventually wanted. Not necessarily from each other. But I said I do want to get married and have another child one day and I may have said something like I need to start working on that. He also said he wanted another child and wanted to find a wife. Then he popped the question! Then why not ask to take off the condom? He's usually pretty blunt and straight forward. He's quick to suggest we try new things in bed so... Why not ask to go naked? Idk. I mean he's a great guy and if he would suggest a relationship, I might would consider it but right now our agreement is sex. Jealousy of what dude? Lol. So he can sleep with who he wants but wants me to be faithful to his penis? Lol. I'm really not sleeping with anyone else but him but I'm not going to tell him that. I'm going to keep letting him assume what he wants.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Another option is ask him what he meant when he said that & ask why he said that?

Then you can share with him your thoughts and feelings about marriage and another child.

Should be easy & straightforward since you guys are friends and communicate with each other.

Hopefully he'll give a truthful answer. Another child might be what he actually wants

I'll talk with him and see. I hope he gives a straight answer. No reason for him to BS me of all pls. He knows I love honesty and his straight forwardness.
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Greentea
@Greentea
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You mentioned that you're usually the one reaching out to him first. Then he makes disrespectful (I think they are) remarks to you insinuating he's just another guy in rotation. Male ego, and territorial. I notice men are this way even in a fwb situation. I have male friends pulling this with theirs too. They want to claim them but without any promises, and stringing them along.

This is how I feel, if he really wanted something more, he would put in more effort. He knows how to push the relationship forward and turn it into something more than fwb. He wants a child but doesn't want a commitment? Doesn't put the right amount of effort in making one happen? That doesn't sound like a Cap to me, especially since he's the responsible type.

Has he ever been married? He has kids right?.. I didn't read all of the responses incase you've answered.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
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Anyone with fwb gets territorial just because they feel a little jealous. I'm 100% sure if he found someone else, he would not be talking to you right now. You are not the love of his life. You are an unpaid whore as dr. Laura would describe you. Get out before you get hurt anymore. Or quit ur bitching because u chose to sleep with a guy who doesn't a real relationship, just sex.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
So you kinda didn't mention the convo in your original post...that could be his way of hinting he wants a relationship if that's the timing of him talking about having a child.

When I say jealous I don't mean of another guy per se. What I mean is you saying you don't want a relationship.

For example, one of my fwb said we're both single...so anytime I had a chance to rub it in his face I did lol

Like if someone called/texted while I was with him, he'd say oh that must be _____(my best friend). Either I wouldn't say anything or I'd say "why? I'm single" just making him eat his words so to speak.

That's why I say figure out what you want because I'm sure if you wanted more it could be more. That's only something you can decide, you're in control of where this thing goes just like any other woman.
I was pretty vague... And maybe that is his way of hinting at more. Didn't think he wanted more because he's the one who makes sure to say we're both single. Lol. I guess... Hence why cap men are confusing to me. Well maybe I should say men period.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Greentea
You mentioned that you're usually the one reaching out to him first. Then he makes disrespectful (I think they are) remarks to you insinuating he's just another guy in rotation. Male ego, and territorial. I notice men are this way even in a fwb situation. I have male friends pulling this with theirs too. They want to claim them but without any promises, and stringing them along.

This is how I feel, if he really wanted something more, he would put in more effort. He knows how to push the relationship forward and turn it into something more than fwb. He wants a child but doesn't want a commitment? Doesn't put the right amount of effort in making one happen? That doesn't sound like a Cap to me, especially since he's the responsible type.

Has he ever been married? He has kids right?.. I didn't read all of the responses incase you've answered.
Never married and has 2 kids. Hes very responsible. Thinks everything out from start to finish. Is in no ones hurry but his own. Even when my thinking is irrational which it can be at times, he'll sit me down and we'll talk about it and he'll help me think it thru.

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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by pinkbird03
Anyone with fwb gets territorial just because they feel a little jealous. I'm 100% sure if he found someone else, he would not be talking to you right now. You are not the love of his life. You are an unpaid whore as dr. Laura would describe you. Get out before you get hurt anymore. Or quit ur bitching because u chose to sleep with a guy who doesn't a real relationship, just sex.
Maybe u didn't read the entire post and comments. I'm fine with just sex from him.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
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Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by pinkbird03
Anyone with fwb gets territorial just because they feel a little jealous. I'm 100% sure if he found someone else, he would not be talking to you right now. You are not the love of his life. You are an unpaid whore as dr. Laura would describe you. Get out before you get hurt anymore. Or quit ur bitching because u chose to sleep with a guy who doesn't a real relationship, just sex.
Maybe u didn't read the entire post and comments. I'm fine with just sex from him.
click to expand

Nope. You're obviously not okay with it because you wouldn't be talking about if it wasn't a problem. If u don't care about fwb, just be chill.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by pinkbird03
Anyone with fwb gets territorial just because they feel a little jealous. I'm 100% sure if he found someone else, he would not be talking to you right now. You are not the love of his life. You are an unpaid whore as dr. Laura would describe you. Get out before you get hurt anymore. Or quit ur bitching because u chose to sleep with a guy who doesn't a real relationship, just sex.
Maybe u didn't read the entire post and comments. I'm fine with just sex from him.
Nope. You're obviously not okay with it because you wouldn't be talking about if it wasn't a problem. If u don't care about fwb, just be chill.
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I'm not asking about if it'll turn into a relationship. Just trying to see if he's really having baby fever.
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femmefatale
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Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by brandyp
I had a fwb that I was going to end things with, and he desperately threw out having a child to keep me around. Maybe this guy is trying to strung you along. He obviously has someone else.
String me along why? I wasn't threatening to leave. Lol. I enjoy his sex. Idc if he has someone else. I just want good sex and no issues. So far so good with him
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You might be in denial about wanting (or not wanting) something more... just a little bit.
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tiki33
@tiki33
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"he wants me to have his child! Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day"

"Sprung, he knows I'm not. "

You're sprung if you thought about having this mans child because a woman that is not sprung wouldn't entertain a year and a half of week on week off situationship and you stated you're always the one reaching out to him first so this sets the tone of the situation with him. He can be lazy, not reach out, go missing for days, weeks at a time and you will pursue him---chase him.

How can you ever be taken seriously when you've set the boundaries so low.

And as for him and the baby talk well again it's about his boundaries, he's done the baby daddy thing since he has 2 kids already so impregnating a woman and leaving his children essentially in a broken home situation is good enough for him but you should be asking is bringing another child into the world into another broken home situation healthy for you and for you children as well. This dude has zero problem with spreading his seed around, just yucky behavior on his part.

As long as you know you're going to be a single parent to another child and you're okay being the predominant nurturer and provider then have a child but don't expect a man that has 2 kids out of wedlock to lock it down with you, as long as your expectations are low then have at it.

As for the mind games well, it's fun and can break up the boredom and change the pace of the situation. You put it out there that you wanted another child, he offered and the perk with that offer FOR HIM is having unprotected sex. If you're seeing him every other week or a couple of times a month then surely you know there is a strong possibility he's have raw sex with other females.

After a year and a half and you're still doing the same routine where you only communicate every other week and then he goes missing in action only to pop up again sometime later, then it's just sex for him because he has not moved this situation beyond sex. Even the baby talk is about sex and territory. Some men have this unspoken expectation that once he's impregnated a woman she's HIS territory and what can scream territory more than a baby and a baby daddy.

You first have to sort out what YOU ARE doing. What you want. What are your expectations.

Just going along is fine at 21 but you're in your 30's so you have to at least define what a real relationship means to you and what that should look like for yourself.

I'm sure you didn't imagine yourself being in a year long no label every other week situation with the only potential is a baby being on the table. If he has 2 kids, then will he really have time for a 3rd? What if your child is the one he neglects because there is always that one child that doesn't get the attention, love and time he or she needs to develop properly.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by femme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by brandyp
I had a fwb that I was going to end things with, and he desperately threw out having a child to keep me around. Maybe this guy is trying to strung you along. He obviously has someone else.
String me along why? I wasn't threatening to leave. Lol. I enjoy his sex. Idc if he has someone else. I just want good sex and no issues. So far so good with him


You might be in denial about wanting (or not wanting) something more... just a little bit.

click to expand


Eventually yes, I want a relationship. With him... Idk. Right now I'm enjoying sex

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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by brandyp
I had a fwb that I was going to end things with, and he desperately threw out having a child to keep me around. Maybe this guy is trying to strung you along. He obviously has someone else.
String me along why? I wasn't threatening to leave. Lol. I enjoy his sex. Idc if he has someone else. I just want good sex and no issues. So far so good with him

So stop counting days between contact & wondering what his words mean. We're action oriented. If you call for sex & he's giving it to you...that's all you should be concerned about. If you're paranoid about "getting trapped" 2 options...1) find new dick 2)tell him no & make sure you continue using protection

Again I go back to my original post...people (women & men) really make this harder than it needs to be
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i was just curious about the child. Not making anything difficult..

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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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I'm not looking for this man to marry me! Considered having a child with him, because I do want another child and I am getting older. So when he asked, I did think about it BECAUSE it's something I've been wanting. Boundaries low how? Because I'm okay with sex and no commitment? Rather that over being cheated on and lied to. My personal choice. His other kids were from a prior relationship. They were set to marry but didn't make it that far because she cheated on him. So to judge and say he's soreading his seed and is ok with gathering and leaving his kids.... Whatever. He's a great father to them. Provides for them financially, physically and emotionally. Just because parents aren't together doesn't mean the child's environment is "unhealthy." I'm sure he's having sex with other woman, I can't say it's raw. We use a condom so I would tend to think he uses one on them. Idk... I don't ask. He may be just trying to mark his territory, idk that waiter. Hence why I made this post. To try to understand the logic behind him asking. I know what I'm doing and what I want. I having fun, sleeping with him. Simple as that. No I did not intend for it to last this long. But it has. Neglecting a child, can happen in any case. A married couple, a dating couple or ppl who are just FWB. Just because he and I have no commitment doesn't mean he'll neglect his child. In. Awe he does, I'm full prepared to raise the child. If I decide to have one with him. And again, just because parents aren't in a relationship doesn't mean the child is missing out. I know ppl who are no longer together and are doing great with the co parenting.
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tiki33
@tiki33
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Yes boundaries are low. No commitment, no real involvement from him, just sex with a potential baby and the boundary can't get no lower than that.

You don't truly know if she cheated. Did she tell you she cheated on him? Don't be so naive. Those kids are most likely not getting all the attention they need if he's not in the home and do you really want that for yourself.

Money ain't s**t, money don't hug a child when he or she is crying, money can't raise a boy into a man. A home without 2 parents can be so difficult for a child emotionally and mentally. Him being torn between a 3rd child means the other 2 children will lose even more of the time they currently have.

If it was just sex for you then you wouldn't care about all the trivial talk that comes spewing out of his mouth after one of his missing in action episodes.

Anyone whose lived in a single parent home is missing out especially when the father is half way in and half way out, you only get him every other week (if that) so how much time do you think your child would get from him if you had one.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

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Posted by tiki33
Yes boundaries are low. No commitment, no real involvement from him, just sex with a potential baby and the boundary can't get no lower than that.

You don't truly know if she cheated. Did she tell you she cheated on him? Don't be so naive. Those kids are most likely not getting all the attention they need if he's not in the home and do you really want that for yourself.

Money ain't s**t, money don't hug a child when he or she is crying, money can't raise a boy into a man. A home without 2 parents can be so difficult for a child emotionally and mentally. Him being torn between a 3rd child means the other 2 children will lose even more of the time they currently have.

If it was just sex for you then you wouldn't care about all the trivial talk that comes spewing out of his mouth after one of his missing in action episodes.

Anyone whose lived in a single parent home is missing out especially when the father is half way in and half way out, you only get him every other week (if that) so how much time do you think your child would get from him if you had one.

I'll agree to disagree on the "single parent/ unhealthy upbringing."

Of course money doesn't solve all problems. This I know. But he's very much present in his kids life. My ex husband is very much present in our kids life but he doesn't live in the home with us. He can tell u everything that's going on with them from breakfast to bedtime. He's there anytime they need him. So again. I agree to disagree with ur single parent notion. What spew do I care about? The snide comments he makes? That's just added conversation. If I really cared if he thought I was sleeping around, I'd defend myself when he makes those comments. I really think that when my posts are read, their being read with a preconceived notion that I am more so into this man than I am. Therefore instead of focusing on my real question and concern, ppl are to busy trying to talk about my standards and etc.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Posted by Foreverloveme
Based on your last post...then talk to him, hey I really have been thinking about another child, were you being serious? If so, how would that work out between us...simple.

Same way you like straightforward & honest we do too.
I am. Our conversation was cut short because I had to take another call so hopefully when he wakes up for work we can finish our convo.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Posted by Foreverloveme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by femme
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by brandyp
I had a fwb that I was going to end things with, and he desperately threw out having a child to keep me around. Maybe this guy is trying to strung you along. He obviously has someone else.
String me along why? I wasn't threatening to leave. Lol. I enjoy his sex. Idc if he has someone else. I just want good sex and no issues. So far so good with him


You might be in denial about wanting (or not wanting) something more... just a little bit.



Eventually yes, I want a relationship. With him... Idk. Right now I'm enjoying sex



So take sex off the table mentally...is this still a person you would want in your life & have a relationship with?

If no, continue sex at your leisure.

If yes, start reevaluating things.

Caps generally think 10 steps ahead just fyi...so if I were in your shoes I'd already have a decent idea of what I ultimately want from this guy.

A genuine fwb...I would just ignore baby talk & keep using protection. Now if he started talking relationship/marriage, then I'd end it & move on because I know that's not what I want from that particular person.

All I'm saying is I try not to blur lines because that's when things get confusing, feelings get hurt, etc

click to expand

I'm def not trying to blur lines
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Instead of getting defensive, try listening and absorbing what's been graciously given to you by the posters here because we could just ignore you, that does happen from time to time when hard headed women come to DXP and can't see the forest from the trees.

He has 2 kids and your third will pull time away from those 2 and that can't be healthy for them. He only has 2 hands and he's only one man. Yes money can provide immediate comfort such as clothing, food, housing but it can't replace a father being their full time to raise them full time and nurture and protect them full time. It makes a difference if a father is around some of the time or all the time. He's not around you all the time so I know for sure the child will not have him full time either.

I just think you really must reassess what you've allowed yourself to be in for a year and a half because this isn't going to lead into a REAL relationship if that's what you're hoping.

He may test your temperature to see where you are emotionally and mentally by throwing bait out there to see if you devour it but the reality is his actions speak way louder than words and he's not around unless you call and that for me would be enough not to consider him boyfriend material nor father material no matter what he says.

Maybe he'll change and be the one to initiate more and give more of himself to you but as long as that's not happening then it's all just talk that can make a single woman salivate at the mouth at the notion that she can have a new life with a handsome, attractive, financially set man.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Posted by brandyp
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by brandyp
I had a fwb that I was going to end things with, and he desperately threw out having a child to keep me around. Maybe this guy is trying to strung you along. He obviously has someone else.
String me along why? I wasn't threatening to leave. Lol. I enjoy his sex. Idc if he has someone else. I just want good sex and no issues. So far so good with him
I read this entire thread and it sounds like you want a relationship with the cap. Just putting that put there, you can take it however you want. But I would bet the cap has the same impression as most of us posters.

As for the baby thing, I wouldn't want to have a baby with a man knowing he wanted no commitment and knowing he was sleeping with god know who. Tell him to go have a baby with the next bitch since you are not the one for him. If he's not in love with you now, a baby is not going to change that.

Idk why he would ask you to have a baby with him. He already has kids so idk unless he is also thinking that you want a commitment ( bc the vibes are out there) and this is his way of providing that without having to be faithful. He probably feels guilty about not giving you the relationship, so he is offering you some security by giving you a kid.

click to expand


If that's what unread of me, u def miss read me. Lol. I have not once said I wanted a relationship with that man. No matter what or how what I pay was read, let me clear that up. I am not expecting him to give me anything. A relationship, security... Anything.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
If you're having sex with this one man for a year and a half you are being exclusive with him sexually and that is the equivalent of wanting a real relationship or why else would he be the only man you're sexing.

There is a level of Scorpio dishonesty which is masked by the illusion of having integrity and not needing a man but this is just a false front which is why he's checking her relationship temperature because there is something OFF with April's behavior.

She's being sexually exclusive, initiating contact, attempting to appear as if she's not relationship needy but then she's sending out silent smoke signals that she's available by chasing him with initiating contact every other week under the illusion of giving him space and now she want a kid and/or is entertaining the idea of having his kid.

Women that are not relationship needy do not initiate contact with men b/c they don't need to b/c the man is always contacting her. Women that are not exclusive with a man do not allow themselves to become sexually exclusive unless she wants something such as a real relationship.

You are not fooling anyone with this I'm hard, don't need him act. Get into reality. Be real with yourself and then you'll get the true answers you need about your situation.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
Per your words

"Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day."

"Well the other day we had a conversation about our future and what we wanted to happen and I brought up the fact that I wanted another child but at the rate my love life is going, it's not going to happen."

You're discussing the future with this man. You stated you wanted another child and he offered you one. Offering you a child does not mean he will turn around and marry you because of the child nor does it mean he'll get off the week on week off schedule you've created with him.

He offered a baby because he can give you one. He can do that. He can follow through with that. Men are problem solvers and if he can solve your problem he will and you just happen to give him a need a want a desire to a problem he could solve for you.

If it's just fun as you stated then never mind the reason and why talk about future and babies if it's just fun.

Capricorn men, the driven ones are very intelligent and they know there is an angle to everything and so a Cap male will challenge a woman mentally, they will check her relationship temperature to see what the angle is on the situation and you pretty much told him what he needed to know.

Is he still missing in action? If he is then he will not be around for you the way you may want him to be pregnant or not, long as you understand that.
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Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3848 · Topics: 46
Look, he may seem put together on the outside, bit his actions aND past with women says it all. These women who going nuts over him, he's had a part in that. He's the one who has helped put this fantasy image in their minds, to get them hooked. He's probably brought up having kids with them as well, haven't you thought about that?

He has 2 kids and didn't marry their mother (s)...you're the one reaching out to him all the time, and wanting to have his child, and not care if he's just a fwb? Why would you accept just being a baby mama to someone?.. admit to yourself that you want a real relationship with him. You're becoming just like those other women, who also wanted the fantasy.

Damn, this Cap has some serious skills, play on playa. Two thumbs up!!



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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Posted by ParisianCappy
Posted by tiki33
Per your words

"Yes I actually considered it because I do want another child but I also want to marry one day."

"Well the other day we had a conversation about our future and what we wanted to happen and I brought up the fact that I wanted another child but at the rate my love life is going, it's not going to happen."

You're discussing the future with this man. You stated you wanted another child and he offered you one. Offering you a child does not mean he will turn around and marry you because of the child nor does it mean he'll get off the week on week off schedule you've created with him.

He offered a baby because he can give you one. He can do that. He can follow through with that. Men are problem solvers and if he can solve your problem he will and you just happen to give him a need a want a desire to a problem he could solve for you.

If it's just fun as you stated then never mind the reason and why talk about future and babies if it's just fun.

Capricorn men, the driven ones are very intelligent and they know there is an angle to everything and so a Cap male will challenge a woman mentally, they will check her relationship temperature to see what the angle is on the situation and you pretty much told him what he needed to know.

Is he still missing in action? If he is then he will not be around for you the way you may want him to be pregnant or not, long as you understand that.

what's up ?

click to expand

—
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Posted by Greentea
Look, he may seem put together on the outside, bit his actions aND past with women says it all. These women who going nuts over him, he's had a part in that. He's the one who has helped put this fantasy image in their minds, to get them hooked. He's probably brought up having kids with them as well, haven't you thought about that?

He has 2 kids and didn't marry their mother (s)...you're the one reaching out to him all the time, and wanting to have his child, and not care if he's just a fwb? Why would you accept just being a baby mama to someone?.. admit to yourself that you want a real relationship with him. You're becoming just like those other women, who also wanted the fantasy.

Damn, this Cap has some serious skills, play on playa. Two thumbs up!!



I thought about that. Maybe he did ask them to have his child. Idk. All I know is what he's told me. And I won't admit I want a real relationship with him because I'm not sure if he's really the one I want to be with.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Posted by AprilGaspard
Posted by Greentea
Look, he may seem put together on the outside, bit his actions aND past with women says it all. These women who going nuts over him, he's had a part in that. He's the one who has helped put this fantasy image in their minds, to get them hooked. He's probably brought up having kids with them as well, haven't you thought about that?

He has 2 kids and didn't marry their mother (s)...you're the one reaching out to him all the time, and wanting to have his child, and not care if he's just a fwb? Why would you accept just being a baby mama to someone?.. admit to yourself that you want a real relationship with him. You're becoming just like those other women, who also wanted the fantasy.

Damn, this Cap has some serious skills, play on playa. Two thumbs up!!



I thought about that. Maybe he did ask them to have his child. Idk. All I know is what he's told me. And I won't admit I want a real relationship with him because I'm not sure if he's really the one I want to be with.

click to expand


He didn't marry his kids mother because she cheat on him. As far as I know. I want a child, yes. With him, I'm not sure. Did I consider his offer, I did. Did I decide to take him up on it, no. Not caring if we're FWB, that's because I only want a child. Not looking for anything to turn into a relationship.
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AprilGaspard
@AprilGaspard
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 43 · Topics: 3
Please help me to understand... Can a woman not be FWB with a man and not want anything more than sex? I mean... I'm fine with just sexing him. Me having his baby has nothing to do with him (if I decide to let him get me pregnant). As I stated before, I'm am single, 32 and I'm getting older. My kids are almost out of the house and I feel like I want another child RIGHT NOW. So me having his child is no different from me going to a sperm bank. Neither father will be around. Since everyone has deemed that he'll be an absentee father. So tell me what's the difference?
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
"Can a woman not be FWB with a man and not want anything more than sex?"

After a year and a half no and the proof is that you're here on DXP talking about this guy as if he's significant.

After you mentioned you wanted a baby he offered you a baby. Notice he did not offer you marriage even though you mentioned you'd like to marry.

If it's just sex then forget about all the other talk, it's just talk. The only way this can change is if he changes it by initiating a "What are we doing talk?" or initiating the let's be together talk. He has to be the one to move the situation out of the blurred lines of being FWB to real commitment and if he's not doing that then it's never going to be much more than what it currently is no matter what you both discuss it will always be just sexual benefits.

Plus friends with benefits is just another term to soften the blow for women. It makes it seem significant by adding the word friend into the equation because friendship means a lot to a lot of women, eases our mind that we're not being used for sex only.

A lot of men are not friends with women, they don't come around as much, they are missing in action most of the time or they may give the illusion of friendship to keep the sex flowing freely but really it's just booty calls and convenient sex on his terms.

If you want a baby have it but don't expect a man that only comes around every other week to be there for you and your baby and you should be okay.
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Greentea
@Greentea
10 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 3848 · Topics: 46
Posted by tiki33
"Can a woman not be FWB with a man and not want anything more than sex?"

After a year and a half no and the proof is that you're here on DXP talking about this guy as if he's significant.

After you mentioned you wanted a baby he offered you a baby. Notice he did not offer you marriage even though you mentioned you'd like to marry.

If it's just sex then forget about all the other talk, it's just talk. The only way this can change is if he changes it by initiating a "What are we doing talk?" or initiating the let's be together talk. He has to be the one to move the situation out of the blurred lines of being FWB to real commitment and if he's not doing that then it's never going to be much more than what it currently is no matter what you both discuss it will always be just sexual benefits.

Plus friends with benefits is just another term to soften the blow for women. It makes it seem significant by adding the word friend into the equation because friendship means a lot to a lot of women, eases our mind that we're not being used for sex only.

A lot of men are not friends with women, they don't come around as much, they are missing in action most of the time or they may give the illusion of friendship to keep the sex flowing freely but really it's just booty calls and convenient sex on his terms.

If you want a baby have it but don't expect a man that only comes around every other week to be there for you and your baby and you should be okay.
I agree with all this, except for one thing I'd like to add... she can initiate wanting more, she doesn't have to wait for him to do it, all she has to do is say what she wants out of this, but she has to figure that out first and final.

Then he will agree or disagree to take this fwb to another level. If he disagrees, than all he wants is another baby mama, or hes trying to feed her bs to keep her around for the tine being...which doesn't seem much to him considering he's not with either one of his kids moms, and women flocking to have his child, and not with them either. His actions speak for themselves imo.