candy10
@candy10
15 Years500+ Posts
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Will it ever be the same again? (Page 2)
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Kstarks - Aw gotta love mommies! Lol. My dad and I are super close. He is truly my best friend. We call each other on our ish and move on. Mini arguments arrupt all the time but we have learned not to allow them to go too far and move on and make up once they are done. However, I don't know if I could ever be in a relationship with one...
Now that I think of it my cousin is a Virgo. She's 11 mos younger than me. We are really close but she's a trip! I remember about one time her husband's male cousin and I had a tiny disagreement that was his fault. Not only did she instigate the whole thing but she somehow put herself in it as the victim and it had nothing to do with her!!! Lmao!! I remember thinking how the hell did she twist it like this. Before the end of the nite her husband and his cousin where aiologizing to her for basically nothing when homeboy should have been apologizing to me! Lol. I just laughed. But it was almost magical to watch her manipulate the situation to make it about her. Lol. And they say scorps are sneaky. Lol
Now that I think of it my cousin is a Virgo. She's 11 mos younger than me. We are really close but she's a trip! I remember about one time her husband's male cousin and I had a tiny disagreement that was his fault. Not only did she instigate the whole thing but she somehow put herself in it as the victim and it had nothing to do with her!!! Lmao!! I remember thinking how the hell did she twist it like this. Before the end of the nite her husband and his cousin where aiologizing to her for basically nothing when homeboy should have been apologizing to me! Lol. I just laughed. But it was almost magical to watch her manipulate the situation to make it about her. Lol. And they say scorps are sneaky. Lol
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i'm a capricorn marker as well lol
and both virgos were of the male species lol. i couldn't tell which one hurt me more it was all a blurt. the one betrayed me tried to make a move on me when i was deep emotional pain bc of the situation with the other virgo. i cut him out to protect him from my anger infact. i was furious but logically i recognized how much he was there for me years ago. i couldn't contain my anger i was afraid i'd go tell his wife to take down his marriage. it's smart of him to stay away lol.
lol awww virgos..can't live with them can't live without them..!! and capricornss and their anger..lol. now i'm starting to doubt this virgo capricorn compatibility that i read everywhere..🙂!! I don't think i could ever cut people out of my life if they are quite significant to it over silly little things...they would have had to have proper crossed the line!!
maybe sometime sooner or later my capricorn friend will notice that the issue was really something which was small!!
i'm a capricorn marker as well lol
and both virgos were of the male species lol. i couldn't tell which one hurt me more it was all a blurt. the one betrayed me tried to make a move on me when i was deep emotional pain bc of the situation with the other virgo. i cut him out to protect him from my anger infact. i was furious but logically i recognized how much he was there for me years ago. i couldn't contain my anger i was afraid i'd go tell his wife to take down his marriage. it's smart of him to stay away lol.
lol awww virgos..can't live with them can't live without them..!! and capricornss and their anger..lol. now i'm starting to doubt this virgo capricorn compatibility that i read everywhere..🙂!! I don't think i could ever cut people out of my life if they are quite significant to it over silly little things...they would have had to have proper crossed the line!!
maybe sometime sooner or later my capricorn friend will notice that the issue was really something which was small!!
Posted by tooseriouslol
well it depends on how trivial the issues were in his eyes lol. i forgive small things. not betrayals.
mine were certainly not trivial lol
oh godddddd. i think this one is a very typical capricorn..and on top of that probably has major trust issues and insecurities because of his ex who cheated on him :/.. and now everyone who comes after has to suffer too. 😡
A bit off topic, but
I find Virgos to be VERY manipulative who LOVE to play victim. Kstarks might get on me saying the show is fake, but if yall get a chance watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There are three Virgos on the show, and Kelsey Grammers ex-wife has to be one of the most manipulative Virgos on the planet. Of course, she's getting into it with a Capricorn(whos Virgo sister is also on the show).
My sister is a Virgo and of course I'm the monster who is always attacking her. She's the 2nd most manipulative person ever LoL.
I find Virgos to be VERY manipulative who LOVE to play victim. Kstarks might get on me saying the show is fake, but if yall get a chance watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There are three Virgos on the show, and Kelsey Grammers ex-wife has to be one of the most manipulative Virgos on the planet. Of course, she's getting into it with a Capricorn(whos Virgo sister is also on the show).
My sister is a Virgo and of course I'm the monster who is always attacking her. She's the 2nd most manipulative person ever LoL.
Inana04 - lol @ real housewives of bev hills. I haven't watched it yet but I used to be addicted to atl and oc. I tried to lay off of reality tv but it's calling my name. I have a love hate relationship with it. Anyhow, yes, I do think Virgo women have the potential to be very manipulative, however, the men are much more blunt and critical. Both men and women tend to be sensitive with a tough exterior.
Kstarks - yes it's probay best to mind your bizz. I can see great potential for world war 3 when a Scorp woman and virgo woman get into it. Both are prideful, sensitive and don't like to be wrong. Lol. A mess... Lol.
Candy, learn the lesson of human nature. You are not irresistible. Not everybody wants to be your friend. Some people don't get you and won't try. It really doesn't have anything to do with astrology.
Seriously, Candy, if you keep this up, he may eventually hurt you by using your neediness for his approval to take advantage of you. Yes, sometimes he's a nice guy, but most times, he is not nice. I admit, he is immature to treat you this way just because of hearsay. But that is something in his character. Pay attention. He doesn't sound like a friend as someone here pointed out.
Some people are unhappy with themselves and he prolly thought you would reject him anyway. Maybe he thought you already did, but you wouldn't tell him based on how he perceived your seeming "indifference" towards him. The point is, he may have taken it better if you would have told him he is wasting his time with you(even tho you weren't). But his hearing it through the grapevine is what made him look and feel like a fool.
But really, is that YOUR problem?
No. He had these issues before he met you. Don't take ownership of his insecurities. Those are HIS thoughts, not yours.
I believe that you don't want to be misunderstood and this is why you are hell-bent on trying to get him to understand. The trouble with that is, is that until he wants to change how he thinks, there's not much you can do. Stop beating yourself up. You've apologized. That's all you can do. Everybody doesn't forgive. Everybody doesn't want to be your friend. So what? There are others who value and WILL value and appreciate you being in their lives and it SO MUCH BETTER. Appreciate and love the ones that do that for you. Don't take them for granted. Your destiny is not tied to anyone who left.
Don't contact him anymore. Let him make a move towards you if he wants. You don't have anything to prove.
Seriously, Candy, if you keep this up, he may eventually hurt you by using your neediness for his approval to take advantage of you. Yes, sometimes he's a nice guy, but most times, he is not nice. I admit, he is immature to treat you this way just because of hearsay. But that is something in his character. Pay attention. He doesn't sound like a friend as someone here pointed out.
Some people are unhappy with themselves and he prolly thought you would reject him anyway. Maybe he thought you already did, but you wouldn't tell him based on how he perceived your seeming "indifference" towards him. The point is, he may have taken it better if you would have told him he is wasting his time with you(even tho you weren't). But his hearing it through the grapevine is what made him look and feel like a fool.
But really, is that YOUR problem?
No. He had these issues before he met you. Don't take ownership of his insecurities. Those are HIS thoughts, not yours.
I believe that you don't want to be misunderstood and this is why you are hell-bent on trying to get him to understand. The trouble with that is, is that until he wants to change how he thinks, there's not much you can do. Stop beating yourself up. You've apologized. That's all you can do. Everybody doesn't forgive. Everybody doesn't want to be your friend. So what? There are others who value and WILL value and appreciate you being in their lives and it SO MUCH BETTER. Appreciate and love the ones that do that for you. Don't take them for granted. Your destiny is not tied to anyone who left.
Don't contact him anymore. Let him make a move towards you if he wants. You don't have anything to prove.
Imma be this Cap guy for a minute...
1) I have an "old friend" named Candy. Maybe I used to like her a little, didn't think she liked me cuz she never showed it or opened up, no matter what I tried.
2) .. hardly ever talk with Candy.. usually infrequent texts, weeks or months apart. Not CLOSE friends - mostly because I like it that way, so I don't put much effort into it. We certainly don't share a lot of really personal stuff.
3) I'm living my life, doing my Cap thing, conquering the world, dating and finding my Ms. Right.
4) Some "friend of a friend" tells me some rather unflattering things Candy has said (AWW HAIL NO!)
5) I tell Candy off, she gives excuses, whatever. I tell her to leave me alone.
6) She does. Sort of. Occasionally she texts or calls. Usually I ignore her. Occasionally, I don't.
7) Candy gets another friend to tell me the other girl lied and I shouldn't be mad at Candy - fine, whatever. Not losing any sleep over it anyway. I will keep conquering the world and building my empire and preparing to get married.
8) Then the friend tells me Candy likes me. WTF? We haven't even spoken in 6 months. I don't LIKE Candy like that.
9) Suddenly, Candy feels the urge to call me up to hint about "missed opportunities".. I even tell her I'm getting married, hoping she'll take the hint.
10) Candy spills out her heart about all these feelings she's kept hidden, wants me to "know" this before I get married.
11) OMG WTF?!
12) My fianc?e is NOT going to like me being friends with some girl who LIKES me. I love my fiancee, that's why I chose her and will build my life with her. Some 22 year old girl with unrequited love is NOT gonna fuck that up for me. Time to cut her loose, Cap style .
13) WHY WON'T SHE GO AWAY?! She's not blowing up my phone exactly.. but what part of LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M GETTING MARRIED means KEEP IN TOUCH, JUST NOT AS OFTEN—
14) If my fianc?e/wife sees one of Candy's texts/calls, shit's gonna hit the fan - over a chick who has been secretly obsessed with me all this time? Candy wants to pretend we can be "friends" in this situation? NO WAY! I don't need her friendship OR drama!
15) Candy needs to step off before I get REALLY pissed. She thought I was mad before? *cracking knuckles*
... It's like a soap opera script. And Caps don't DO "soap opera" LOL If I was Cappy's fianc?e, I'd snatch her bald-headed for trying to keep her TOO friendly ass in OUR life, say take her starry-eyes and get to steppin'.. Just sayin'.
1) I have an "old friend" named Candy. Maybe I used to like her a little, didn't think she liked me cuz she never showed it or opened up, no matter what I tried.
2) .. hardly ever talk with Candy.. usually infrequent texts, weeks or months apart. Not CLOSE friends - mostly because I like it that way, so I don't put much effort into it. We certainly don't share a lot of really personal stuff.
3) I'm living my life, doing my Cap thing, conquering the world, dating and finding my Ms. Right.
4) Some "friend of a friend" tells me some rather unflattering things Candy has said (AWW HAIL NO!)
5) I tell Candy off, she gives excuses, whatever. I tell her to leave me alone.
6) She does. Sort of. Occasionally she texts or calls. Usually I ignore her. Occasionally, I don't.
7) Candy gets another friend to tell me the other girl lied and I shouldn't be mad at Candy - fine, whatever. Not losing any sleep over it anyway. I will keep conquering the world and building my empire and preparing to get married.
8) Then the friend tells me Candy likes me. WTF? We haven't even spoken in 6 months. I don't LIKE Candy like that.
9) Suddenly, Candy feels the urge to call me up to hint about "missed opportunities".. I even tell her I'm getting married, hoping she'll take the hint.
10) Candy spills out her heart about all these feelings she's kept hidden, wants me to "know" this before I get married.
11) OMG WTF?!
12) My fianc?e is NOT going to like me being friends with some girl who LIKES me. I love my fiancee, that's why I chose her and will build my life with her. Some 22 year old girl with unrequited love is NOT gonna fuck that up for me. Time to cut her loose, Cap style .
13) WHY WON'T SHE GO AWAY?! She's not blowing up my phone exactly.. but what part of LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M GETTING MARRIED means KEEP IN TOUCH, JUST NOT AS OFTEN—
14) If my fianc?e/wife sees one of Candy's texts/calls, shit's gonna hit the fan - over a chick who has been secretly obsessed with me all this time? Candy wants to pretend we can be "friends" in this situation? NO WAY! I don't need her friendship OR drama!
15) Candy needs to step off before I get REALLY pissed. She thought I was mad before? *cracking knuckles*
... It's like a soap opera script. And Caps don't DO "soap opera" LOL If I was Cappy's fianc?e, I'd snatch her bald-headed for trying to keep her TOO friendly ass in OUR life, say take her starry-eyes and get to steppin'.. Just sayin'.
Lol @ snatch her bald headed!!! OMG!! LMAO!!!!!!
Posted by pathfinder
Candy, learn the lesson of human nature. You are not irresistible. Not everybody wants to be your friend. Some people don't get you and won't try. It really doesn't have anything to do with astrology.
Seriously, Candy, if you keep this up, he may eventually hurt you by using your neediness for his approval to take advantage of you. Yes, sometimes he's a nice guy, but most times, he is not nice. I admit, he is immature to treat you this way just because of hearsay. But that is something in his character. Pay attention. He doesn't sound like a friend as someone here pointed out.
Some people are unhappy with themselves and he prolly thought you would reject him anyway. Maybe he thought you already did, but you wouldn't tell him based on how he perceived your seeming "indifference" towards him. The point is, he may have taken it better if you would have told him he is wasting his time with you(even tho you weren't). But his hearing it through the grapevine is what made him look and feel like a fool.
But really, is that YOUR problem?
No. He had these issues before he met you. Don't take ownership of his insecurities. Those are HIS thoughts, not yours.
I believe that you don't want to be misunderstood and this is why you are hell-bent on trying to get him to understand. The trouble with that is, is that until he wants to change how he thinks, there's not much you can do. Stop beating yourself up. You've apologized. That's all you can do. Everybody doesn't forgive. Everybody doesn't want to be your friend. So what? There are others who value and WILL value and appreciate you being in their lives and it SO MUCH BETTER. Appreciate and love the ones that do that for you. Don't take them for granted. Your destiny is not tied to anyone who left.
Don't contact him anymore. Let him make a move towards you if he wants. You don't have anything to prove.
hi!! thanks for you post 😄, I just wanted to make clear that i've never found myself to be irresistable lol.. and yes you're right not everyone is going to be easygoing and kool to get on with :/, but having said that I am generally quite a laid back individual who is nice to everyone and tries her best to be friendly!
The reason why I was trying hard to explain myself is because I don't see why I have to accept someone not talking to me ever again and cutti
Posted by tooseriouslol
i just read more of your posts candy.
you sounded sincere. my suggestion would be you write him a heart-to-heart email telling him again that what happened was a misunderstanding you would never want to hurt his feelings and he really shouldn't listen to some other gossip woman but you whose loyalty is with him. tell him if you don't ever speak again you wish him a lifetime of happiness regardless. leave it at that. if it's meant to be, he will come to you. otherwise, forget about him. keep an unforgiving man away for your sake.
i can tell you that i'd forgive readily if an apology was offered. unfortunately, the virguys i knew none of them could ever apologize. they would pretend that nothing happened and i just cannot respect a man who cannot face his wrong doings/mistakes.
i wish you best of luck 🙂
🙂... yes I really don't understand why all of a sudden I am under attack in this thread.lol...like obviously its a thread I created and if people don't want to read it they don't have to.lol..or comment about my posts either.. rudeness!!
I honestly am quite a sincere person. I wish I could email him 😢..unfortunately I don't have his email address...just his phone number..therefore I could only text this stuff. In a text though It would probably be too long to put in and he might not be interested in reading it. 😭. I did try calling but now that he is angry he isn't returning my calls.
I know this is going to sound ridiculous but I don;t think i will be able to forget this person for a long time. I am not the kind of person who goes from one person to the next lol.. if i do like someone it would take years probably for me to have got to that stage, if that makes sense, and this is what happened with this person, So it would be very difficult for his place to be taken by someonelse, because thats how loyal I am.
Too bad he doesn't realise any of this. I think also that he is the one who's managed to get me to let my guard down now, no one has ever been able to do that. Usually I am not that apologetic and would probably move on quite quickly, but I am acting differently with this guy, I don;t know why. hmmm
Thanks for the luck but for now I have decided to not contact him., maybe he'll eventually wake up one day and take note of the things I said maybe he never will, i'll have to wait and see :s
Posted by tooseriouslol
i understand it's hard to let go expecially when the other person is not reachable (human nature lol 😢).
if you know a friend of his he still talks to (lol), you can write your thoughts in a card and ask the friend to give it to him. make sure that person can be trusted and won't read your card tho. i'd see it as the last one-way communication tho. just so that you can get a peace of mind that you have explained yourself once again and there is nothing more you can do and you do not owe him or youself anything else. give yourself a closer then move on. tbh, i think he sounded annoying it shouldn't be hard to find someone more easygoing and more fun to be with 😛 🙂 it will be easier than you think.
take care candy.
nice idea..and actually I do know someone he knows, they used to be close friends but not anymore.lol surprises. This peerson however is not too trustworthy unfortunately. And that closure and a proper chance to explain everything once and for all was not given to me, If i had that chance I would be a lot happier. I only sent a few texts here and there, but texts are always misunderstood and not as effective as emails or phone conversations.
actually i've known him for ages now, at least a year or so and he has been quite easygoing lol, only now after this revelation that i've been saying stuff about him, his other side is coming out. But basically right now he thinks i've done him wrong and I think he's the type of person to not let that go too easily and doesn;t deal with it appropriately, but if the person hasn;t done anything wrong and is perfect lol, he will be fine with them.!!
i'm thinking of just leaving it for a few months at least completely, and maybe calling again at some point but in the near future for now.
SPECIFICALLY FOR NEFER :
Imma be this cap guy for a minute, with some corrections.
1) I have an "old friend" named Candy. Maybe I used to like her a little/lot or still do BUT I'M REALLY ANGRY, didn't think she liked me cuz she never showed it or opened up, no matter what I tried.
2) Havn;t spoken to her in months because i've been incredibly busy but when I wasn;t we did hold hours and hours of conversation with each other and on the occasion texts would be sent, weeks apart. She is as close to a friend as I have had before due to the sharing of a lot of private and significant matters.
3) I'm living my life, doing my Cap thing, conquering the world, not dating or trying to find my ms right just yet because right now work is my priority.
4) Some "friend of a friend" tells me some rather unflattering things Candy has said (AWW HAIL NO!)
5) I tell Candy off, she gives excuses ( or so I think they are), whatever. I tell her to leave me alone
6) She does. Sort of. Occasionally she texts or calls. Usually I ignore her. Occasionally, I don't.
7) Candy gets another friend to tell me the other girl lied and I shouldn't be mad at Candy - fine. I tell her friend that i'm sorry I didn't mean those things I said. I will keep conquering the world and building my empire however.
8) Then the friend somehow insinuates that candy likes me. I tell her it doesn't make sense to me because we haven't even spoken in 6 months and it never seemed like she did. I tell the friend also that I never liked Candy in that way (trying to claim back my pride, the best way is by lying). Also I tell the friend i'm getting married soon ( hopefully this will be a good way of getting my own back and also reclaiming some more of my pride, perhaps candy can get a taste of her won medicine 😄). Friend seems shocked (ooo it's working and now I know friend is gonna go and tel candy).
9) Suddenly, Candy feels the urge to text me to hint about "missed opportunities".. I tell her myself I'm getting married (see how she takes that 😄).
10) Candy spills out her heart about all these feelings she's kept hidden, wants me to know this before I get married.
omg I never thought i'd be hearing this from her. I express my shock and surprise to her I let her know I don't understand it, she explains and I finally tell her im sorry.
11) She calls a week later, I decide to pick up this time, I have calmed down 🙂. We talk for a good couple of hours.
12) A few texts are then exchanged, she says s
Imma be this cap guy for a minute, with some corrections.
1) I have an "old friend" named Candy. Maybe I used to like her a little/lot or still do BUT I'M REALLY ANGRY, didn't think she liked me cuz she never showed it or opened up, no matter what I tried.
2) Havn;t spoken to her in months because i've been incredibly busy but when I wasn;t we did hold hours and hours of conversation with each other and on the occasion texts would be sent, weeks apart. She is as close to a friend as I have had before due to the sharing of a lot of private and significant matters.
3) I'm living my life, doing my Cap thing, conquering the world, not dating or trying to find my ms right just yet because right now work is my priority.
4) Some "friend of a friend" tells me some rather unflattering things Candy has said (AWW HAIL NO!)
5) I tell Candy off, she gives excuses ( or so I think they are), whatever. I tell her to leave me alone
6) She does. Sort of. Occasionally she texts or calls. Usually I ignore her. Occasionally, I don't.
7) Candy gets another friend to tell me the other girl lied and I shouldn't be mad at Candy - fine. I tell her friend that i'm sorry I didn't mean those things I said. I will keep conquering the world and building my empire however.
8) Then the friend somehow insinuates that candy likes me. I tell her it doesn't make sense to me because we haven't even spoken in 6 months and it never seemed like she did. I tell the friend also that I never liked Candy in that way (trying to claim back my pride, the best way is by lying). Also I tell the friend i'm getting married soon ( hopefully this will be a good way of getting my own back and also reclaiming some more of my pride, perhaps candy can get a taste of her won medicine 😄). Friend seems shocked (ooo it's working and now I know friend is gonna go and tel candy).
9) Suddenly, Candy feels the urge to text me to hint about "missed opportunities".. I tell her myself I'm getting married (see how she takes that 😄).
10) Candy spills out her heart about all these feelings she's kept hidden, wants me to know this before I get married.
omg I never thought i'd be hearing this from her. I express my shock and surprise to her I let her know I don't understand it, she explains and I finally tell her im sorry.
11) She calls a week later, I decide to pick up this time, I have calmed down 🙂. We talk for a good couple of hours.
12) A few texts are then exchanged, she says s
SPECIFICALLY FOR NEFER CONTINUE😱
12) A few texts are exchanged, she says something which makes me mad angry, she tells me she's joking, i'm telling her to leave me alone. 😡
i'm not deluded or stupid, he does not have a fiancee for sure, if he did I would no way be contacting him, even as little as I am now.
12) A few texts are exchanged, she says something which makes me mad angry, she tells me she's joking, i'm telling her to leave me alone. 😡
i'm not deluded or stupid, he does not have a fiancee for sure, if he did I would no way be contacting him, even as little as I am now.
He tells you he's getting married next year, but you think he's making it all up??
OMG! I'm going to call you... FAITH JR.
You're digging your own grave with him, Candy.
But by all means, carry on.
OMG! I'm going to call you... FAITH JR.
You're digging your own grave with him, Candy.
But by all means, carry on.
What I don't get is why he is so friggin' mad at Candy reaching out to him. So what she still texts him. If it's that dern bad, why doesn't he change his number or just ignore her? Usually if you ignore something, it goes away. I don't get the feeling that Candy likes to be ignored. If she is for too long, she will eventually disappear and cheerfully find other people to occupy her time. Her posts at least READ like she has a life.
It sounds to me like he has something to hide or else he wouldn't give a damn. His getting all emotional doesn't make sense if he is so damn done with her. As far as the alledged fiance, is she going to be so insecure that she has to read his text messages or answer his phone? Candy contacting him shouldn't mean anything to his S.O. unless he communicates back to her.
It sounds to me like he has something to hide or else he wouldn't give a damn. His getting all emotional doesn't make sense if he is so damn done with her. As far as the alledged fiance, is she going to be so insecure that she has to read his text messages or answer his phone? Candy contacting him shouldn't mean anything to his S.O. unless he communicates back to her.
He said *leave me alone* what part of leave me alone do you get?
Why oh why is this being drudged through the mud I have no idea, I was sure this topic would be dead by now....
Leave the guy alone already or your bound to be labeled a part-time occasional text message stalker at some point.
Why oh why is this being drudged through the mud I have no idea, I was sure this topic would be dead by now....
Leave the guy alone already or your bound to be labeled a part-time occasional text message stalker at some point.
don't you get
If she can't leave the man alone per his request what makes us think she will listen to anything anyone of us has to say, she can't do what is asked of her with him so she damn sure won't follow any advice given thru us....
When a person continues to do what she wants to do despite being asked not to, when a person continues to find her own reasons to continue to do it despite the obvious that a man doesn't want her around, that's called being thick, hard headed, inability to follow direction with a slight dis-ease of immaturity and selfishness.
When a person continues to do what she wants to do despite being asked not to, when a person continues to find her own reasons to continue to do it despite the obvious that a man doesn't want her around, that's called being thick, hard headed, inability to follow direction with a slight dis-ease of immaturity and selfishness.
Oh forgot to add in low self esteem too...Women with low self esteem hate being rejected, need approval, will demand approval by coercing the situation, typically never give up, won't go away, she can be the ultimate pain freak.
I get your point Elle, I might be mistaken but I saw a few analytical logical comments through out this thread but of course a lot of women have all these complicated emotions and feelings and need to analyze them to death...I'm guilty of over analyzing.
An admitted pain freak...hmmmm
The first step to getting clean and sober is to admit you have a problem....
12 Step Program: Hi my name is Elle and I'm a pain freak
The process involves the following:
admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion;
recognizing a higher power that can give strength;
examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
making amends for these errors;
learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
helping others who suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.
An admitted pain freak...hmmmm
The first step to getting clean and sober is to admit you have a problem....
12 Step Program: Hi my name is Elle and I'm a pain freak
The process involves the following:
admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion;
recognizing a higher power that can give strength;
examining past errors with the help of a sponsor (experienced member);
making amends for these errors;
learning to live a new life with a new code of behavior;
helping others who suffer from the same addictions or compulsions.
Posted by Nefer
He tells you he's getting married next year, but you think he's making it all up??
OMG! I'm going to call you... FAITH JR.
You're digging your own grave with him, Candy.
But by all means, carry on.
He will be getting married but not to anyone specific at the moment, i.e. he does not have a fiancee. There is a reason why I know this but I can't specify right now.
Posted by pathfinder
What I don't get is why he is so friggin' mad at Candy reaching out to him. So what she still texts him. If it's that dern bad, why doesn't he change his number or just ignore her? Usually if you ignore something, it goes away. I don't get the feeling that Candy likes to be ignored. If she is for too long, she will eventually disappear and cheerfully find other people to occupy her time. Her posts at least READ like she has a life.
It sounds to me like he has something to hide or else he wouldn't give a damn. His getting all emotional doesn't make sense if he is so damn done with her. As far as the alledged fiance, is she going to be so insecure that she has to read his text messages or answer his phone? Candy contacting him shouldn't mean anything to his S.O. unless he communicates back to her.
You are the only person who seems to be on the same page as me right now 😄. No one else seems to understand that I tried reaching out to him only to explain myself and to explain that he's misunderstood the whole situation and that is it. I am not constantly contacting him (at all). How is a couple of texts within 3 months and perhaps two or three phonecalls maximum too much?? I know for a fact other girls would be a lot worse but I am not the annoying kind in the slightest!
You are also right in saying that he does not always ignore me AT ALL, he's angry at me then civil to me then back to angry again but throughout all of this he hasn't completely avoided me.
and of course i won't continuously pester someone after they have told me to leave them alone which is what he said now, and I havn't called him since!!!
He is showing a lot of emotion, for someone who has moved on why would he be that angry and then calm and then angry again.lol.
BTW i KNOW he doesn't have a fiancee. I would neverr ever contact someone who has a committment to someonelse.
Posted by tiki33
If she can't leave the man alone per his request what makes us think she will listen to anything anyone of us has to say, she can't do what is asked of her with him so she damn sure won't follow any advice given thru us....
When a person continues to do what she wants to do despite being asked not to, when a person continues to find her own reasons to continue to do it despite the obvious that a man doesn't want her around, that's called being thick, hard headed, inability to follow direction with a slight dis-ease of immaturity and selfishness.
What you don't seem to understand is that I do not like people perceiving me in the incorrect way. I RARELY contacted him when we were on good terms and I am RARELY contacting him now that he doesn't want to speak to me. However when I do i am simply pointing out to him that he shouldn't be angry because I have been on the receiving end of someone stirring up trouble, and that I am a straightforward person.
Once he told me to leave him alone I didn't call him once. In fact now I am not going to contact him for as much as I can see the foreseeable future.
I didn't realise trying to explain a misunderstanding in minimal texts was such a crime. sorry
What you don't seem to understand is how people perceive has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person...You can't force, coerce, make anyone perceive you differently by explaining and explaining and pursuing them.
You minimize your contact as rarely but in all honesty contact is contact and he asked you to leave him alone...So do it.
Your pointing out to him what he should and shouldn't be emotionally towards you as if you control him and that is clearly pushy controlling behavior on your part...Let him be angry, let him be what he wants to be and when he's done being that way he will stop and he doesn't need you to explain that to him nor tell him how to feel.
Sometimes explaining is annoying and it does absolutely nothing to change a situation nor change a persons attitude. If you would just leave it alone, stop explaining and get on with your life this situation could turn in your favor or he may never wanna be friends again and that's not something you can change nor control.
You minimize your contact as rarely but in all honesty contact is contact and he asked you to leave him alone...So do it.
Your pointing out to him what he should and shouldn't be emotionally towards you as if you control him and that is clearly pushy controlling behavior on your part...Let him be angry, let him be what he wants to be and when he's done being that way he will stop and he doesn't need you to explain that to him nor tell him how to feel.
Sometimes explaining is annoying and it does absolutely nothing to change a situation nor change a persons attitude. If you would just leave it alone, stop explaining and get on with your life this situation could turn in your favor or he may never wanna be friends again and that's not something you can change nor control.
Posted by ellessque
tiki, she needs to see things in an analytical way, something logical. A bunch of women throwing advice her way is not going to be absorbed, especially if it is not what she wants to hear. She's looking at us in a very skeptical way...one, because we are at several different age ranges and two, some of us can appear to be coming of as snarky and condescending, with a bit of bitterness.
if she can see logic, she can apply it.
just my 2 cents. but that is what i'm thinking this lovely friday morning.
LOL. I havn't checked my chart yet 🙂( I know i'm a virgo and thas it). You are spot on when you say i'm viewing some individuals comments on here in a skeptical way, simply because the way I am seeing it I am being received with incredible hostility (lol) and also people are not able to understand what I am trying my utmost best to say or my reasons either.
TO clarify I havn't contacted this person since I was told to leave him alone. When I was messaging him before it was to
smooth over any wrongdoings and to explain that in my opinion I hadn't ever bitched about him I am not fake etc... I was in NO way questioning him or pressuring him to speak to me, NOTHING OF THAT SORT. I was stating some facts which he should know.
Out of everyone here you and pathfinder seem to be the only two to be using logic 🙂.
Posted by tiki33
What you don't seem to understand is how people perceive has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person...You can't force, coerce, make anyone perceive you differently by explaining and explaining and pursuing them.
You minimize your contact as rarely but in all honesty contact is contact and he asked you to leave him alone...So do it.
Your pointing out to him what he should and shouldn't be emotionally towards you as if you control him and that is clearly pushy controlling behavior on your part...Let him be angry, let him be what he wants to be and when he's done being that way he will stop and he doesn't need you to explain that to him nor tell him how to feel.
Sometimes explaining is annoying and it does absolutely nothing to change a situation nor change a persons attitude. If you would just leave it alone, stop explaining and get on with your life this situation could turn in your favor or he may never wanna be friends again and that's not something you can change nor control.
OK i see what you're saying. I shall use a different word to explain.. I stated not elaborated. I said i'm not fake, you're my friend, I havn't ever said a bad word about you..that kind of thing. That is not me pushing him to be anything is it? or trying to change his behaviour, I am allowing him to be whatever he wants to be but breaking down my thoughts about what I think of him in the easiest way possible in a text.
BTW
i hvnt contacted him since he told me to leave him.
Posted by tiki33Posted by kstarks2
tiki, you are correct. But this chick is psychotic.
LOL!click to expand
k starks is psychotic in her reactions, why is she jumping down my throat.LOL. not only that but ALSO UNEMPATHETIC/UNSYMPATHETIC/JUDGEMENTAL/COMPLETELY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE/O YEAH AND THAT THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE
Posted by candy10Posted by tiki33
What you don't seem to understand is how people perceive has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other person...You can't force, coerce, make anyone perceive you differently by explaining and explaining and pursuing them.
You minimize your contact as rarely but in all honesty contact is contact and he asked you to leave him alone...So do it.
Your pointing out to him what he should and shouldn't be emotionally towards you as if you control him and that is clearly pushy controlling behavior on your part...Let him be angry, let him be what he wants to be and when he's done being that way he will stop and he doesn't need you to explain that to him nor tell him how to feel.
Sometimes explaining is annoying and it does absolutely nothing to change a situation nor change a persons attitude. If you would just leave it alone, stop explaining and get on with your life this situation could turn in your favor or he may never wanna be friends again and that's not something you can change nor control.
OK i see what you're saying. I shall use a different word to explain.. I stated not elaborated. I said i'm not fake, you're my friend, I havn't ever said a bad word about you..that kind of thing. That is not me pushing him to be anything is it? or trying to change his behaviour, I am allowing him to be whatever he wants to be but breaking down my thoughts about what I think of him in the easiest way possible in a text.
BTW
i hvnt contacted him since he told me to leave him.click to expand
Thanks for the clarification...But I sense this isn't going anywhere..Your going to explain and explain to us as well just like you did with him and it's annoying behavior on you part...bleh
Posted by candy10Posted by tiki33Posted by kstarks2
tiki, you are correct. But this chick is psychotic.
LOL!
k starks is psychotic in her reactions, why is she jumping down my throat.LOL. not only that but ALSO UNEMPATHETIC/UNSYMPATHETIC/JUDGEMENTAL/COMPLETELY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE/O YEAH AND THAT THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITEclick to expand
Many of us get this way when the other person is clearly not seeing anyone else's side but her own, very frustrating and may be partly why your Cap called you fake b/c your short sighted, clearly there was something being said about him behind his back, something you haven't yet to admit to and it seems you only see your side and you can't imagine that anyone else could be seeing another side of the situation that you can't see and instead of attempting to understand, adjust and learn from it, you get defensive by defending yourself, which puts almost everyone else on the defense, then it turns into this back forth BS that is annoyingly unnerving.
Posted by tiki33Posted by candy10Posted by tiki33Posted by kstarks2
tiki, you are correct. But this chick is psychotic.
LOL!
k starks is psychotic in her reactions, why is she jumping down my throat.LOL. not only that but ALSO UNEMPATHETIC/UNSYMPATHETIC/JUDGEMENTAL/COMPLETELY DOES NOT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE/O YEAH AND THAT THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS BLACK AND WHITE
Many of us get this way when the other person is clearly not seeing anyone else's side but her own, very frustrating and may be partly why your Cap called you fake b/c your short sighted, clearly there was something being said about him behind his back, something you haven't yet to admit to and it seems you only see your side and you can't imagine that anyone else could be seeing another side of the situation that you can't see and instead of attempting to understand, adjust and learn from it, you get defensive by defending yourself, which puts almost everyone else on the defense, then it turns into this back forth BS that is annoyingly unnerving.
click to expand
LOL sorry for being ANNOYING. But someone who has to point that out in the harshest way possible is not a nice person.
I do try and see things from other people's perspectives actually, all the time. I am highly analytical of myself and others.!!!! i TRIED TO UNDERSTAND THING SFROM HIS POINT OF VIEW BUT HE DIDN'T BOTHER EXPLAINING ANYTHING. therefore I had to second guess, assume, and just tell him what I thought, and that is it. So i highly resent anyone trying to tell me that I am that self centred.
@Candy: Too much talking and not enough listening! Good God, the man told you to leave him alone, lay it all to rest and get a life. He doesn't like you, he doesn't want you and he sure as hell isn't going to change his mind...
Oh, and BTW, that was pointing things out in a NICE way 🙂
Oh, and BTW, that was pointing things out in a NICE way 🙂
Posted by ellessque
candy, do you know anything about your charts? I don't remember if I asked (and am too lazy this morning to look)
maybe you can do a quick chart look up on both of you and we could pick the situation apart from that aspect? That may give a more logical approach to your answers and some of your own questions.
(I'll put $ 5.00 that she has venus in scorpio) 😛
I DID my chart 😄!!! ermm theres a lot of planets involed.lol...i don't know which ones are relevant or not..but here goes
rising = virgo 09 Degrees
sun= virgo 07 Degree
moon=scorpio 25 degrees
mercury= virgo 17 degrees
venus= virgo ( $ 5.00 please 🙂)9 degrees
mars=virgo 5 degrees
jupiter= aries 29 degrees
saturn= sagittarius 14 degrees
uranus= sagittarius 22 degrees
neptune= capricorn 5 degrees
pluto=scorpio 7 degrees
AND as for him I don't know his birth time.lol... but he is a capricorn. haha
Posted by tooseriouslol
and i do not like the cap guy you spoke about lol.
i suspect that the chance of him not talking to his mom as well is not low tbh lol. let a small man go. trust me. he is not a price.
LOL yes i CANNOT BE BOTHERED ANYMORE. lmao. and this intense criticism is not helping and labelling me as someone who has a dependency on this person. hahahaha.. I don't know how that came about.. all i wanted to do from the beginning is have him hear me out and leave it at that.
btw he has quite a strong relationship with his mum I think
Posted by tooseriouslol
scorp mooner has a harder time to let go emotional scars, astrologically speaking , just so that you know.
lol thanks.. I don't show it much though.. not directly to the person. haha and why don't you like this cap guy? have I really done anything that bad though as everyone is making out? :O
Posted by lildol
@Candy: Too much talking and not enough listening! Good God, the man told you to leave him alone, lay it all to rest and get a life. He doesn't like you, he doesn't want you and he sure as hell isn't going to change his mind...
Oh, and BTW, that was pointing things out in a NICE way 🙂
thanks for your insight. all im going to say to that is I HAVE LEFT IT ALONE, I DO HAVE A LIFE.. AND ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO FROM THE BEGINNING IS TO SORT A MESS OUT WITH A FRIEND WHO I'VE KNOWN FOR THREE YEARS. P.S only I know that he did like me but it doesn't matter now I suppose.
"rising = virgo 09 Degrees
sun= virgo 07 Degree
moon=scorpio 25 degrees
mercury= virgo 17 degrees
venus= virgo ( $ 5.00 please 🙂)9 degrees
mars=virgo 5 degrees
jupiter= aries 29 degrees
saturn= sagittarius 14 degrees
uranus= sagittarius 22 degrees
neptune= capricorn 5 degrees
pluto=scorpio 7 degrees"
Oh lord that scorpio moon...that partially explains this nonsense
Those with the Moon in Scorpio often try to act cool and under control but there's a brooding intensity below the surface. With an emotional base in the sign of the extremes, they experience intense feelings, which they often fear to let out. This in turn makes even intimate friends and family reluctant to probe too deeply.
The secretive Scorpio Moon can sometimes end up lost in all that churning emotion. If they are not self-aware, they could end up being driven by this subterranean force in the end. Along with the highs of the light side, they can fully dwell in the dark and struggle with jealousy, thoughts of revenge and serious resentment. Their nature is a conundrum -- repressing their feelings makes them too powerful to contain. Over time, they??ll learn that letting them out is the only way to tame the beast within.
and
Scorpio Pluto may tend towards dark thoughts. They naturally filter out the good and happy things, focusing on the darker, secret motives of those around us. They may feel that they know best in every situation. On the other hand, individuals born with Pluto in Scorpio may try to remain positive so strongly that they find themselves in denial, finding out when it is too late about all that was happening right under their noses. They can be rather manipulative or controlling at times.
sun= virgo 07 Degree
moon=scorpio 25 degrees
mercury= virgo 17 degrees
venus= virgo ( $ 5.00 please 🙂)9 degrees
mars=virgo 5 degrees
jupiter= aries 29 degrees
saturn= sagittarius 14 degrees
uranus= sagittarius 22 degrees
neptune= capricorn 5 degrees
pluto=scorpio 7 degrees"
Oh lord that scorpio moon...that partially explains this nonsense
Those with the Moon in Scorpio often try to act cool and under control but there's a brooding intensity below the surface. With an emotional base in the sign of the extremes, they experience intense feelings, which they often fear to let out. This in turn makes even intimate friends and family reluctant to probe too deeply.
The secretive Scorpio Moon can sometimes end up lost in all that churning emotion. If they are not self-aware, they could end up being driven by this subterranean force in the end. Along with the highs of the light side, they can fully dwell in the dark and struggle with jealousy, thoughts of revenge and serious resentment. Their nature is a conundrum -- repressing their feelings makes them too powerful to contain. Over time, they??ll learn that letting them out is the only way to tame the beast within.
and
Scorpio Pluto may tend towards dark thoughts. They naturally filter out the good and happy things, focusing on the darker, secret motives of those around us. They may feel that they know best in every situation. On the other hand, individuals born with Pluto in Scorpio may try to remain positive so strongly that they find themselves in denial, finding out when it is too late about all that was happening right under their noses. They can be rather manipulative or controlling at times.
I was going to say earlier candy seemed guilty over something but reading her chart I realize it's resentment, she resents not being able to fix this issue which drives her to continue trying to fix it mentally and emotionally with herself and when that's not good enough she seeks out help from others only to find herself being defensive b/c truthfully she just wants relief on an emotional level and she may feel he's the only person that can provide that relief and he's not available...She's frustrated.
Posted by ellessque
lol...I lost $ 5 today.
moon scorp - close enough though 😛
okay, now his. you don't need his birth time. we don't care about his rising, not really in this scenerio.
that way we can see where the hits and/or misses are happening between you two.
Sun is in 24 Degrees Capricorn.
Moon is in 03 Degrees Sagittarius.
Mercury is in 08 Degrees
Venus is in 29 Degrees Aquarius.
Mars is in 04 Degrees Sagittarius.
Jupiter is in 21 Degrees Aries.
Saturn is in 27 Degrees Sagittarius.
Uranus is in 28 Degrees Sagittarius
Neptune is in 08 Degrees Capricorn
Pluto is in 12 Degrees Scorpio
Posted by tiki33
I was going to say earlier candy seemed guilty over something but reading her chart I realize it's resentment, she resents not being able to fix this issue which drives her to continue trying to fix it mentally and emotionally with herself and when that's not good enough she seeks out help from others only to find herself being defensive b/c truthfully she just wants relief on an emotional level and she may feel he's the only person that can provide that relief and he's not available...She's frustrated.
i wannaa cryyy... loooool.. im jokinggg
Posted by tooseriouslol
oh gaud another elusive venus in aqua lol 😛
oh on, he has both moon and mars in sagi lol he has a TEMPER hell i only have sagi rising and i have a temper (not all caps tho lol)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL YOU STILL MAKE MEEE CRACK UP!!!!! yeaa he has a temperrr... it makes me so upset..joke I dont care...!!!!
why can't he be more of a mann.. i feel like im the man and he's the drama queen. lol.. im saying get over it already and lets go back to how it was...letss be koool !!
Posted by tiki33Posted by kstarks2
Venus in Aquarius?
She's finished.
End of story...LOL
LMAO yep it's a wrapclick to expand
LOL but birth times make an awfulll difference don't they!!! hahahahah...so he could be anything really!!! not necessarily an aquarian.
wts wrong with themmm
Posted by tooseriouslol
lol
i like men who have a big heart who can be the man ok gaud there is a reason he is a man ok lol
believe it or not he does seem to have a big heart... BUT only when the person's on his good side..when something goes wrong.DAYYYUMMMMMMMMMMM.olol
erm his tempre seems to cloud any logical thoughts..and all he wants to do is block everything and everyone out and be depressed by himself.
Posted by tooseriouslol
fwiw, here is someone with both fire moon and mars says on yahoo answer (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100326133706AAWrqVz) -
"Yes ! Well, I know I am !!!
Whenever I feel like somebody's even
trying to step outta line with me, honestly
... I snap !!! I absolutely have zero tolerance
for anyone giving me any kind of sh*t whatsoever !
A person can only take so much.
To boot, I'm an Aries Moon
& a Sagittarius Mars (Moon trine Mars in Fire).
That one doesn't make things better
when it comes to losing my patience & temper.
When I feel like I'm done with a person
&/or a situation, that's it ! No questions asked !!!
There's no turning back with me.
Absolutely no changing my mind -- PERIOD !!!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL WOOOOAHHHHHHHHHH IM SORRY BUT PEOPLE THAT WAY ARE GOING TO LOSE A LOT OF GOOD PEOPLE IN THEIR LIVES..DON'T YA THINK??!!! i USUALLY THINK IF SOMEONES BEEN ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOUR FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AND ONE LITTLE ERROR OR MISUNDERSTANDING, THAT SHOULD AND CAN BE FORGIVEN..COZ ON THE WHOLE THE PERSON IS GREAT!!! PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA BE PERFECT..THEY CAN MAKE MISTAKESS
I can also be extremely stubborn when I'm p*ssed.
When I say NO to something or someone,
it's NO !-- PERIOD !!! If I feel forced at any given
time by anybody, I'm definitely not afraid, at all,
to throw a punch (among other things I'll have to do
in order to defend myself !), just right outta the blue.
Source(s):
Libra female (October 3rd) -- ME !!! :-)
-- mainly personal experience with people
constantly provoking me in the wrong ways
"
Posted by tooseriouslol
a person with strong aqua influences (moon/venus would consider a strong placement) may has a rebellious nature. they can be fair but rebellious non-the-less. that means if they feel forced at any given time by anybody, a stainless steel resistance will be presented to you. basically - "DO. NOT. TELL. ME. WHAT. TO. DO." lol
very true
So to answer your question candy....no it will never be the same.... ever again
Posted by tiki33Posted by tooseriouslol
a person with strong aqua influences (moon/venus would consider a strong placement) may has a rebellious nature. they can be fair but rebellious non-the-less. that means if they feel forced at any given time by anybody, a stainless steel resistance will be presented to you. basically - "DO. NOT. TELL. ME. WHAT. TO. DO." lol
very true
So to answer your question candy....no it will never be the same.... ever againclick to expand
OK MY LOSS AND HIS TOO lol
Posted by tooseriouslol
so yeah a strong sagi + aqua person may not be the easiest to deal with :/
btw whereas mine was with my birth times, his was not. lolll. i thinkk that is cruciall!!!
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