Will my cap man return to me in the future?

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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
And he broke the relationship off......He asked me if i was happy, i said yes. He says he's not. He struggels with himself. Thinks that he is cruel to me ( sometimes he says hard things, strange kind of humor) . I said that i can cope with the things he said to me, that's who he is.

He said that the relationship went to quick. We met eachother again after 31 years ( he was my lover when i was 18) and he was so glad because i was his greatest love of his life. But it all went very fast, i am in the middle of a divorce, he was living alone for several years.... He still loves me. I asked him if he was sure of the breaking up and he didn't answer that clearly. He wants to stay good friends ( not with benefits) but i ve said i couldn't because everytime i will see him my hart will bleed .... He says its not my fault the breakup, i didn't do anything wrong.... He said maybe if we had met otherwise, dated for a while , maybe that was better for us. Do you ( capricorn) knows and understand what he is trying to say? I know he still loves me, i saw it in his eyes. When he went home he kissed me on the mouth....He looked hurt and sad.he also said that i didn't know him at all. But isn't that my problem and not his?
When he left he said " send me a message every now and then.

I have the feeling that he wants to stay intouch because he isn't shore of hisself. Thats my point of view, i could be wrong ....

I love him deeply. He is a very loveble guy, a teddybear that loves my cuddles and carying very mutch. ( so he says today again) He is so funny and very sexy :-)

I will miss him....
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
I feel I have read this all over the forum(and not just the capricorn one).

Guy breaks up with girl ... sort of, because even if he says it's over, he somehow manages to string her along, making her wonder if there's still a chance.

I don't get this behaviour. I think it's pretty mean. Either you break up with someone and give them a real chance to get over you or you tell the other person that there is something to work on and let's do that.

I may be harsh here, but if it were me, I would get on with my life without him and if he sometime down the line feels like contacting me again in a real way, then let's see if i'm available and willing.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
I think he's just trying not to hurt your feelings.

He likes you and respects you, but doesn't want a relationship. It's possible that the timing is wrong and he's not in a place where he wants a relationship. You haven't done anything wrong, I would believe that, but he just doesn't feel it with you. He knows you feel more than he does and that's not fair to you, so it's better to break it off now than later.

I'm sorry. There are lots of other men out there. Albeit, harder to find good ones at our age, but there are good men who would be lucky to be with you.

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Carolz
@Carolz
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 200 · Topics: 34
I guess I have given you pretty much suggestions but there are now two cases as per others observations. So I would like to answer directly to your question The one possibility is he is in problem and he may not want to hurt you which I personally feel is the truth so for that I can say yes he will be back. While the other possibility is he was not as much interested in you so that is what we call KARMA.In both possibilities he will come back to you. And note that if you were his first love then the chances are double that he will be back. But If he is doing any wrong to you then wait and let the KARMA play its part ! In both situations I believe there is a possibility that he will be back either with the solution of his problem or with regret.. And yes believe me the more you will ask or think about it the more you will get confused and suffer from emotional roller coasters .. So as I said previously Time will tell every thing .. Be patient, Be positive, Listen to your instincts and have faith in yourself 🙂
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Carolz
@Carolz
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 200 · Topics: 34
I just don't know why people here are so harshly telling the truth. Well Its good to be realistic but there is a way to present your opinion the more polite you will be the more a broken person can heal and understand your opinion I really appreciate when some of the people suggested me in such a polite way. Our behaviors need to be change. Just not only accept the difference of opinion but also need to understand the situation of the person who is asking that question or at least respect his/her feelings while giving your responses. Well I really don't mean you all are wrong I really respect your opinion but its just a way of expressing your opinion that should not be arrogant.. No need of argument on my opinion because its just a opinion .. Thanks 🙂

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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by Carolz
I just don't know why people here are so harshly telling the truth. Well Its good to be realistic but there is a way to present your opinion the more polite you will be the more a broken person can heal and understand your opinion I really appreciate when some of the people suggested me in such a polite way. Our behaviors need to be change. Just not only accept the difference of opinion but also need to understand the situation of the person who is asking that question or at least respect his/her feelings while giving your responses. Well I really don't mean you all are wrong I really respect your opinion but its just a way of expressing your opinion that should not be arrogant.. No need of argument on my opinion because its just a opinion .. Thanks 🙂



I don't think most of us intend on being harsh, but ask a capricorn and you will get an honest, unbiased, realistic, truthful answer. We're not known to sugar coat, but we are known to be frank and to the point. We're not likely to tell someone what they want to hear, we're more likely to say what we actually think. I suppose it doesn't hurt to try to sugar coat and soften our answers.

OP, I apologize if I was too blunt. I really do hope he comes back, but be prepared in case he doesn't. Get out there and date! Have some fun! When I got divorced, it was nice having some freedom to go and do and date and I had a good time for a while. Jumping straight into another relationship defeats the benefit of having your freedom. Maybe that's what this guy is thinking you will want. Who knows, just be fun and free and fabulous!
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Carolz
@Carolz
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 200 · Topics: 34
@truecap I am a capricorn too. But yes there is a difference of opinion. I know we don't sugarcoat things but I believe sometimes if someone is hurting by your harsh behavior may be you should be just more polite. And by the way I really don't think you have talked harshly.So it wasn't for you. People generalize things on them but this is not the reality. So the idea was don't sugar coat just be a bit polite 🙂
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Carolz
I just don't know why people here are so harshly telling the truth. Well Its good to be realistic but there is a way to present your opinion the more polite you will be the more a broken person can heal and understand your opinion I really appreciate when some of the people suggested me in such a polite way. Our behaviors need to be change. Just not only accept the difference of opinion but also need to understand the situation of the person who is asking that question or at least respect his/her feelings while giving your responses. Well I really don't mean you all are wrong I really respect your opinion but its just a way of expressing your opinion that should not be arrogant.. No need of argument on my opinion because its just a opinion .. Thanks 🙂



I don't know, but I'm guessing you meant me. I never said she did anything wrong - I said I thought he did. I also think that you telling her that he will be back is less nice and possibly not even the truth. Do you really want her to sit there and wonder, caught in a vicious circle, or do you want her to get out there, find herself in this new situation, live life and be happy?

And if we are taking about her chances of getting him back, I will strongly argue that she stands a much better chance if she moves on and gets back on her feet again. I know it's easier said than done, but I hope she will grab the strengh necessary and do it. It may take a while - it's a grieving process after all - but she has to start somewhere.

I think it's very destructive to tell people just what they want to hear, not what you actually think. She writes on this board because she is sad and confused and hopefully wants our honest opinions. I write this because I do care about her and because I want her to be happy. And again: she did nothing wrong - he did. Maybe he thought he was being nice and didn't want to hurt her feelings, as Truecap suggests, but I still think it would have been way nicer to just tell her the truth, so that she can move on.

To Lindaaaatje: I hope you know I only want good things for you and that I don't mean to hurt you by what I write.
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truecap
@truecap
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 8 · Posts: 20090 · Topics: 685
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Carolz
I just don't know why people here are so harshly telling the truth. Well Its good to be realistic but there is a way to present your opinion the more polite you will be the more a broken person can heal and understand your opinion I really appreciate when some of the people suggested me in such a polite way. Our behaviors need to be change. Just not only accept the difference of opinion but also need to understand the situation of the person who is asking that question or at least respect his/her feelings while giving your responses. Well I really don't mean you all are wrong I really respect your opinion but its just a way of expressing your opinion that should not be arrogant.. No need of argument on my opinion because its just a opinion .. Thanks 🙂



I don't know, but I'm guessing you meant me. I never said she did anything wrong - I said I thought he did. I also think that you telling her that he will be back is less nice and possibly not even the truth. Do you really want her to sit there and wonder, caught in a vicious circle, or do you want her to get out there, find herself in this new situation, live life and be happy?

And if we are taking about her chances of getting him back, I will strongly argue that she stands a much better chance if she moves on and gets back on her feet again. I know it's easier said than done, but I hope she will grab the strengh necessary and do it. It may take a while - it's a grieving process after all - but she has to start somewhere.

I think it's very destructive to tell people just what they want to hear, not what you actually think. She writes on this board because she is sad and confused and hopefully wants our honest opinions. I write this because I do care about her and because I want her to be happy. And again: she did nothing wrong - he did. Maybe he thought he was being nice and didn't want to hurt her feelings, as Truecap suggests, but I still think it would have been way nicer to just tell her the truth, so that she can move on.

To Lindaaaatje: I hope you know I only want good things for you and that I don't mean to hurt you by what I write.
click to expand




I don't think what you said was too harsh. Just one point of view that needs to be considered.

*shrugs*
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Nobody did hurt my feelings because of what you wrote....I want honest answers from other capricorns....No bullshit. I am a type of person that what the truth to be told even if it hurts. And yes i have to move on, i just wanted to understand him want he is thinking, why ...

I will not contact him , even thought he wants me too....in my hart i want to text him, but i won't....

You cannot force love...you cannot put words in somebody's mouth....
If, and i say if, he comes back, it will be on his terms, when he wants to. And if i am free and want to , yes i would pick up the pieces and try again...But if i am in another relationship i will say no.

But i know myself, i am a person when i give my hart, totally, they never get out of it...And that's the case with my capricorn....

Thx for all your messages and opinions. And yes i will stick around Truecap. I didn't know how mutch astrology ( our signs) says about people. I am learning allot here , really.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Lindaaaatje
Nobody did hurt my feelings because of what you wrote....I want honest answers from other capricorns....No bullshit. I am a type of person that what the truth to be told even if it hurts. And yes i have to move on, i just wanted to understand him want he is thinking, why ...

I will not contact him , even thought he wants me too....in my hart i want to text him, but i won't....

You cannot force love...you cannot put words in somebody's mouth....
If, and i say if, he comes back, it will be on his terms, when he wants to. And if i am free and want to , yes i would pick up the pieces and try again...But if i am in another relationship i will say no.

But i know myself, i am a person when i give my hart, totally, they never get out of it...And that's the case with my capricorn....

Thx for all your messages and opinions. And yes i will stick around Truecap. I didn't know how mutch astrology ( our signs) says about people. I am learning allot here , really.



So happy to hear that your feelings weren't hurt!

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and I feel confident that you will get through this, even stronger than before. All the best! 🙂
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Everything
Posted by truecap
Posted by Carolz
I just don't know why people here are so harshly telling the truth. Well Its good to be realistic but there is a way to present your opinion the more polite you will be the more a broken person can heal and understand your opinion I really appreciate when some of the people suggested me in such a polite way. Our behaviors need to be change. Just not only accept the difference of opinion but also need to understand the situation of the person who is asking that question or at least respect his/her feelings while giving your responses. Well I really don't mean you all are wrong I really respect your opinion but its just a way of expressing your opinion that should not be arrogant.. No need of argument on my opinion because its just a opinion .. Thanks 🙂



I don't think most of us intend on being harsh, but ask a capricorn and you will get an honest, unbiased, realistic, truthful answer. We're not known to sugar coat, but we are known to be frank and to the point. We're not likely to tell someone what they want to hear, we're more likely to say what we actually think. I suppose it doesn't hurt to try to sugar coat and soften our answers.

OP, I apologize if I was too blunt. I really do hope he comes back, but be prepared in case he doesn't. Get out there and date! Have some fun! When I got divorced, it was nice having some freedom to go and do and date and I had a good time for a while. Jumping straight into another relationship defeats the benefit of having your freedom. Maybe that's what this guy is thinking you will want. Who knows, just be fun and free and fabulous!



Totally love your answer. You rock girlfriend! And I swear you weren't blunt at all in your first message. You were really kind, caring and respectful even if honest.
click to expand




Agreed! 100%
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by Everything
...in this thread. And in order to get over him I recommend you to read what I wrote in your thread about heart breach. You haven't been doing what I told you because my point no 1 was to stop idolizing him and you're still talking about how amazing he is.

But I do acknowledge that I could be wrong. All people are different. Maybe this guy isn't guilty of anything . Maybe he is a victim (but in my experience they never are). In that case maybe you should try harder. And make him realize nothing can make you go away. If insecuriteis are the problem. I personally wouldn't do so. I'd do and think as I wrote in my previous long post. But then. I've never dated a cap man and I'm not a god. But that shouldn't really matter. Cause the rules apply to everyone, regardless of their sign. If you love someone you want to be with them. If you want to be with someone you don't break up with them. It's really simple.

My personal guess is that he doesn't love you. He's not feeling the whole thing. Maybe if you hadn't moved forward so quickly he would be thinking differently. In other words he's possibly disgusted ? By himself or the whole situation? I don't know.

I think he's an idiot for hurting you and giving you such mixed signals. I think he's an ass for kissing you goodbye. Seriously I have a headache now.

I realize it's not easy but I hope you'll come to the right conclusion and I wish you luck.



Everything, i am not idalising him, he has his faults believe me. But when you love someone you take the whole package. I remember him saying also " i think to mutch, i must act more in stead of thinking". He really is al nice guy, but screwed up by past relationships that took advantage of him ( financialy) and betrayed him. He is loyal believe me. Sex is not even that important for him. He can be without sex for a very long time. I just think he got " cold feet ?" and want to proceed with his live as it was at the moment before me?
But thanks for your reply ...
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prettyladii
@prettyladii
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1341 · Topics: 40
Consider it a blessing in disguise. As I've told you before, A Capricorn will not even begin to meet your needs at even the most minimal level mentally, emotionally, or physically.. He may have you enchanted for the moment but I am bothered by what he said by how he treats you even he recognizes it as cruel, harsh or what have you and you seem so willing to put up with it. You are so much better than this. And to think this is only the beginning, it only gets worse. I just feel like even if he gets it together you're selling yourself short.
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Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by Secret
I don't want to interfere here, but I disagree, Everything was just giving an honest opinion in her own way, everyone has diferent ways of expressing opinions or advices.
She has been using her own time writing huge messages giving opinions and advices, I'm sure she didn't mean to tell her what to do in that way.

If people ask for help or advices they should expect diferent ways of expressing opinions.





😆

Everything is... everywhere.
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by FrenchKpricorn
why you broke up, with him when you were young?

belgium version;

pourquoi vous avez cass? quand vous ?tiez jeunes ?



:-) i live at the coast of Belgium and speak dutch :-)
I was with him for 8 months. We always went out to dance or hang out with his best friend. Then he had to go to the army and was away alot. I broke the relationship off because his best friend and i fell in love. I ended up marrying the friend and was married for 27 years. I never saw my capman again. Recently my husband said that he wanted to divorce me. 1 month later i saw my capman his profile on a datingsite and he saw mine. He contacted me first and start texting me. Than went out for drinks and then i said i was falling for him. He admitted i had never been out off his hart because i was the love of his life. So we started dating.....
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by Everything
Linda, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'm just really stressed out right now because everything that's going on in my life so I'm easily irritated. I get worked up over nothing today, you should see me. I'm not usually like this. I respect you and your thoughts and feelings and everything! From the bottom of my heart I hope you'll manage perfectly

Everything, i am not offended by your messages or opinions you know. In stead i am glad to have received such a long text by you trying to help me out. really !
So don't apologize :-)
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inlovewithlove
@Lindaaaatje
10 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 418 · Topics: 26
Posted by prettyladii
Consider it a blessing in disguise. As I've told you before, A Capricorn will not even begin to meet your needs at even the most minimal level mentally, emotionally, or physically.. He may have you enchanted for the moment but I am bothered by what he said by how he treats you even he recognizes it as cruel, harsh or what have you and you seem so willing to put up with it. You are so much better than this. And to think this is only the beginning, it only gets worse. I just feel like even if he gets it together you're selling yourself short.



Maybe you're right by saying i would be better off without him. I will not contact him and will try to get on with my life. Even if its hard right now...but i love myself to much to be a puppet on a string...
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by e11e
is this everything chic really that pisces named 88?

they seem very much alike in the way they react to people.




Idk but she's a fucking harpy.


She tries to make people feel horrible about themselves (with sugar on top)--


one of the hallmarks of the pathologically miserable.

click to expand




Wait a minute. Weren't you the one who tried to put me down just a week or so ago in a leo thread? Just for kicks. 😉
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Montgomery
@Montgomery
12 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 552 · Posts: 18848 · Topics: 149
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by e11e
is this everything chic really that pisces named 88?

they seem very much alike in the way they react to people.




Idk but she's a fucking harpy.


She tries to make people feel horrible about themselves (with sugar on top)--


one of the hallmarks of the pathologically miserable.



Wait a minute. Weren't you the one who tried to put me down just a week or so ago in a leo thread? Just for kicks. 😉
click to expand





After you insulted LEOs as a whole?

Nope-- just stated the facts, dear.


Your humble apology however was much appreciated.
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HappyCapper
@HappyCapper
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 28 · Posts: 5115 · Topics: 92
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Montgomery
Posted by e11e
is this everything chic really that pisces named 88?

they seem very much alike in the way they react to people.




Idk but she's a fucking harpy.


She tries to make people feel horrible about themselves (with sugar on top)--


one of the hallmarks of the pathologically miserable.



Wait a minute. Weren't you the one who tried to put me down just a week or so ago in a leo thread? Just for kicks. 😉




After you insulted LEOs as a whole?

Nope-- just stated the facts, dear.


Your humble apology however was much appreciated.
click to expand




Yes, I really didn't want my post to come off as being offensive to you or any other leos. I am indeed very greatful. As I stated in the thread, three of my best friends are leos and I seem to remember calling leos generous, loving people who like to spoil their dear ones. I can see that it's possible to interpret my post as me being ungrateful, though, and you did interpret it that way(as the only person in the thread), and that's why I apologised. The reason why I thought you were just having fun on my account later on is your reply to my apology. "Heh... just giving you a hard time." Your first post really hurt me, because I thought I had hurt you(and possibly other leos) by being unclear. But the comment to my apology made me think I hadn't hurt you after all.

Anywho. I didn't mean for this to be a big thing. Just thought I was joking back. Seems it didn't work and that I was being unclear again. Sorry.