How do I unfriendzone myself?

So I've been on a dating funk lately. But a while ago, this Sag sun was pursuing me so I went on a date cuz he seemed fun. I was not expecting anything but I had a nice time and started liking him. But afterwards he was barely texting me so I was ok guess he's not interested. I don't usually do this but I thought I genuinely liked this guy (not just romantically) and he works in a field I was trying to get into... So I told him that I'm not into dating rn (which is true) and if he wanted to be friends instead. He said he understands and agreed. Next day, he gets drunk and sends me messages he quickly deletes. I ask what it is and he said it was dick pics but idk... He starts texting me more often and wanted to meet again. So we do. Throughout the date he's complimenting me and we're like setting up another date/meeting. Long story short, he is really hot, got a long eggplant and I got horny af so we slept together lmao. Now, I never intended for our friendship to have benefits. It was not my intention and I never had issues creating these boundaries before (even while horny lol). But I fucked up. Afterwards, I even told him "hahah I should not have slept with you" and he said vaguely "no it's fine haha as long as we are clear with each other". Then when he left, he kissed me and mockingly said "so much for friends, huh?". Next day he calls me after work because I had a big interview and he is really sweet.

Now... I really regret suggesting to be friends lol. Everything is murky now. Plus we're still matched on tinder and he can easily see I'm still active (just to see who is messaging me... im not pursuing anyone cuz again im tired lol). So im afraid if he has realized this he will think I lied when I said I'm not into dating? Yeah its a big ol mess.🤦

If I'm honest, I can't continue like this because I know for sure I will develop feelings for this guy. How should I clear things up? 😕

What's Tinder.

From what I hear it's the sex only dating site so yeah bringing up the friends only was interpreted as you didn't click with him. Use other sites unless you only want sex.

Posted by LibraSupreme

What's Tinder.

From what I hear it's the sex only dating site so yeah bringing up the friends only was interpreted as you didn't click with him. Use other sites unless you only want sex.

Heeeyyyy there are some tinder relationship stories! Or so they say 😂😂😂 But yeah i know. Im kinda over it. What other sites are good?

Posted by applecherrypie

So I've been on a dating funk lately. But a while ago, this Sag sun was pursuing me so I went on a date cuz he seemed fun. I was not expecting anything but I had a nice time and started liking him. But afterwards he was barely texting me so I was ok guess he's not interested. I don't usually do this but I thought I genuinely liked this guy (not just romantically) and he works in a field I was trying to get into... So I told him that I'm not into dating rn (which is true) and if he wanted to be friends instead. He said he understands and agreed. Next day, he gets drunk and sends me messages he quickly deletes. I ask what it is and he said it was dick pics but idk... He starts texting me more often and wanted to meet again. So we do. Throughout the date he's complimenting me and we're like setting up another date/meeting. Long story short, he is really hot, got a long eggplant and I got horny af so we slept together lmao. Now, I never intended for our friendship to have benefits. It was not my intention and I never had issues creating these boundaries before (even while horny lol). But I fucked up. Afterwards, I even told him "hahah I should not have slept with you" and he said vaguely "no it's fine haha as long as we are clear with each other". Then when he left, he kissed me and mockingly said "so much for friends, huh?". Next day he calls me after work because I had a big interview and he is really sweet.

Now... I really regret suggesting to be friends lol. Everything is murky now. Plus we're still matched on tinder and he can easily see I'm still active (just to see who is messaging me... im not pursuing anyone cuz again im tired lol). So im afraid if he has realized this he will think I lied when I said I'm not into dating? Yeah its a big ol mess.🤦

If I'm honest, I can't continue like this because I know for sure I will develop feelings for this guy. How should I clear things up? 😕

Why you still on Tinder? Lol

Posted by nanobot

Seems messy and I don't see this ending well for you since you think you're gonna have feelings for him. You shouldn't have told him you wanted to be friends and then slept with him shortly after. That set the tone for this whole situation. I don't think theres a way to fix this in your favor unless he magically falls in love with you, but to me this looks like classic fuckboy... he just wanted sex, as most do who are on tinder.

The way I see it .... you have two choices, wait it out and stay in the grey area where you end up hurt. Or tell him you want more, which will likely end in him bailing.

Yeah. I know. Fucked up big time. I'm probably just going to tell him tbh. I can't deal with the grey area. Just wanted to see what else dxpers could come up with. 😂

Posted by Brittnie

Posted by applecherrypie

So I've been on a dating funk lately. But a while ago, this Sag sun was pursuing me so I went on a date cuz he seemed fun. I was not expecting anything but I had a nice time and started liking him. But afterwards he was barely texting me so I was ok guess he's not interested. I don't usually do this but I thought I genuinely liked this guy (not just romantically) and he works in a field I was trying to get into... So I told him that I'm not into dating rn (which is true) and if he wanted to be friends instead. He said he understands and agreed. Next day, he gets drunk and sends me messages he quickly deletes. I ask what it is and he said it was dick pics but idk... He starts texting me more often and wanted to meet again. So we do. Throughout the date he's complimenting me and we're like setting up another date/meeting. Long story short, he is really hot, got a long eggplant and I got horny af so we slept together lmao. Now, I never intended for our friendship to have benefits. It was not my intention and I never had issues creating these boundaries before (even while horny lol). But I fucked up. Afterwards, I even told him "hahah I should not have slept with you" and he said vaguely "no it's fine haha as long as we are clear with each other". Then when he left, he kissed me and mockingly said "so much for friends, huh?". Next day he calls me after work because I had a big interview and he is really sweet.

Now... I really regret suggesting to be friends lol. Everything is murky now. Plus we're still matched on tinder and he can easily see I'm still active (just to see who is messaging me... im not pursuing anyone cuz again im tired lol). So im afraid if he has realized this he will think I lied when I said I'm not into dating? Yeah its a big ol mess.🤦

If I'm honest, I can't continue like this because I know for sure I will develop feelings for this guy. How should I clear things up? 😕

Why you still on Tinder? Lol

click to expand

Lol. In general or what? Yeah i still have it but I hid my profile. I go check who messages me bc Im curious? Lol

Posted by Erinelda

He will probably have sex with you some more as I am not sure he wanted a relationship to begin with.

You played yourself and you were never even friends. Just a booty call.

What are you asking? If you are asking how to go from booty call to wife material, it is not gonna happen.

Brrrr ok. Im just asking how to clear things up. Obviously we were not friends as we just met. I was just trying to be friends bc Im new to the city and at least he could give me contacts. He has been really helpful, gives good advice and basically coached me for my interview. I would not have kept him around otherwise, trust. 😂

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by LibraSupreme

What's Tinder.

From what I hear it's the sex only dating site so yeah bringing up the friends only was interpreted as you didn't click with him. Use other sites unless you only want sex.

Heeeyyyy there are some tinder relationship stories! Or so they say 😂😂😂 But yeah i know. Im kinda over it. What other sites are good?

click to expand

Bumble or match I think off top. Just watch out for Tinder. I got buddies that rack up lots of #s of sex off that site. My sister did ok at meetup groups in her area of town. Good luck

Posted by nanobot

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by nanobot

Seems messy and I don't see this ending well for you since you think you're gonna have feelings for him. You shouldn't have told him you wanted to be friends and then slept with him shortly after. That set the tone for this whole situation. I don't think theres a way to fix this in your favor unless he magically falls in love with you, but to me this looks like classic fuckboy... he just wanted sex, as most do who are on tinder.

The way I see it .... you have two choices, wait it out and stay in the grey area where you end up hurt. Or tell him you want more, which will likely end in him bailing.

Yeah. I know. Fucked up big time. I'm probably just going to tell him tbh. I can't deal with the grey area. Just wanted to see what else dxpers could come up with. 😂

Yea, it's okay... shit happens. I was there once with a man myself, but tbh I think the sex made it worth it. It can lead to so many games though. And thus easily feel like such a waste of time. I would get off Tinder if you want something more serious, maybe a more "serious" dating site. Then again... I know people who got married of Tinder but that's probably super fucking rare these days.

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I know a lot of tinder couples myself. I go on tinder dates with low expectations and it's also a fun way to explore a city but ugh i know I need to try other sites. I'm just lazy tbh. One of these days!

Posted by LibraSupreme

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by LibraSupreme

What's Tinder.

From what I hear it's the sex only dating site so yeah bringing up the friends only was interpreted as you didn't click with him. Use other sites unless you only want sex.

Heeeyyyy there are some tinder relationship stories! Or so they say 😂😂😂 But yeah i know. Im kinda over it. What other sites are good?

Bumble or match I think off top. Just watch out for Tinder. I got buddies that rack up lots of #s of sex off that site. My sister did ok at meetup groups in her area of town. Good luck

click to expand

Thanks. I rarely sleep with tinder dates. I tried bumble but im so bad at messaging first. I never know what to say 😂 Thanks for the reccs. Have you tried hinge by any chance?

Posted by Erinelda

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by Erinelda

He will probably have sex with you some more as I am not sure he wanted a relationship to begin with.

You played yourself and you were never even friends. Just a booty call.

What are you asking? If you are asking how to go from booty call to wife material, it is not gonna happen.

Brrrr ok. Im just asking how to clear things up. Obviously we were not friends as we just met. I was just trying to be friends bc Im new to the city and at least he could give me contacts. He has been really helpful, gives good advice and basically coached me for my interview. I would not have kept him around otherwise, trust. 😂

It is the sad reality of how dudes work. They give you a quick, unfair assessment and tend to stick to it. It works in reverse too and you can literally whore for 30 years and then pretend you are the cover of virtue and they fall for it as long as you don't put out for a handful of dates.

I am not thrilled about this because they never even account for a woman who really likes him putting out fast because she thinks he is special, or a woman who sleeps with him quickly because it's the first guy she has liked in like 10 years.

It's bullshit and it's pretty childish if you ask me.

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Yeah i know but I honestly was not trying to trap him into a relationship or anything lol. Everything just kinda happened. But yeah it sucks.... women have needs too! 🤦

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by Brittnie

Posted by applecherrypie

So I've been on a dating funk lately. But a while ago, this Sag sun was pursuing me so I went on a date cuz he seemed fun. I was not expecting anything but I had a nice time and started liking him. But afterwards he was barely texting me so I was ok guess he's not interested. I don't usually do this but I thought I genuinely liked this guy (not just romantically) and he works in a field I was trying to get into... So I told him that I'm not into dating rn (which is true) and if he wanted to be friends instead. He said he understands and agreed. Next day, he gets drunk and sends me messages he quickly deletes. I ask what it is and he said it was dick pics but idk... He starts texting me more often and wanted to meet again. So we do. Throughout the date he's complimenting me and we're like setting up another date/meeting. Long story short, he is really hot, got a long eggplant and I got horny af so we slept together lmao. Now, I never intended for our friendship to have benefits. It was not my intention and I never had issues creating these boundaries before (even while horny lol). But I fucked up. Afterwards, I even told him "hahah I should not have slept with you" and he said vaguely "no it's fine haha as long as we are clear with each other". Then when he left, he kissed me and mockingly said "so much for friends, huh?". Next day he calls me after work because I had a big interview and he is really sweet.

Now... I really regret suggesting to be friends lol. Everything is murky now. Plus we're still matched on tinder and he can easily see I'm still active (just to see who is messaging me... im not pursuing anyone cuz again im tired lol). So im afraid if he has realized this he will think I lied when I said I'm not into dating? Yeah its a big ol mess.🤦

If I'm honest, I can't continue like this because I know for sure I will develop feelings for this guy. How should I clear things up? 😕

Why you still on Tinder? Lol

Lol. In general or what? Yeah i still have it but I hid my profile. I go check who messages me bc Im curious? Lol

click to expand

Hmm, interesting..

He’s a Sag so just keep meeting up for sex and you will be good. No need to talk about a relationship. Stuff doesn’t need to be defined yet. When he’s ready he will say something.

Just depends on how comfortable you are with it. And have an open talk about just sexing each other.

And I’m not sure about you still being on the dating site. He will want a lot of your time and lots of sex. You’re not gonna have time to screw other men if he likes you and can get you often.

Posted by saggurl88

He’s a Sag so just keep meeting up for sex and you will be good. No need to talk about a relationship. Stuff doesn’t need to be defined yet. When he’s ready he will say something.

Just depends on how comfortable you are with it. And have an open talk about just sexing each other.

And I’m not sure about you still being on the dating site. He will want a lot of your time and lots of sex. You’re not gonna have time to screw other men if he likes you and can get you often.

He is so unlike sag tho. 😂 He is quite reserved... No dirty talk lol. He blushes, second guesses himself and apologizes if he even says something kinda cheeky. Has had serious relationships in the past (and he hasn't said he felt trapped in them lol). He has a virgo moon and cap mercury though. He still quite out there but I love how it's balanced with the mellow earth energy. 💆

Posted by saggurl88

He’s a Sag so just keep meeting up for sex and you will be good. No need to talk about a relationship. Stuff doesn’t need to be defined yet. When he’s ready he will say something.

Just depends on how comfortable you are with it. And have an open talk about just sexing each other.

And I’m not sure about you still being on the dating site. He will want a lot of your time and lots of sex. You’re not gonna have time to screw other men if he likes you and can get you often.

Also trying to figure him out via astrology is a mindfuck. How sag and virgo operate is completely opposite lmao.

Posted by emeraldgem

I don't know why everyone seems so quick to have you move on. It seems like a minor thing that could be fairly easily corrected if you think you may actually want to date him. How was the sex? Lol! Just text say hey enjoyed the other night even if it was a little unexpected and are you interested in seeing where this might go. Does one night of hormonal lack of control mean you just ditch?

Lol I love your advice hahah you have a way of making things simple and straight-forward. It's been a few days now since we hooked up and we haven't really talked much about it lol.

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by saggurl88

He’s a Sag so just keep meeting up for sex and you will be good. No need to talk about a relationship. Stuff doesn’t need to be defined yet. When he’s ready he will say something.

Just depends on how comfortable you are with it. And have an open talk about just sexing each other.

And I’m not sure about you still being on the dating site. He will want a lot of your time and lots of sex. You’re not gonna have time to screw other men if he likes you and can get you often.

He is so unlike sag tho. 😂 He is quite reserved... No dirty talk lol. He blushes, second guesses himself and apologizes if he even says something kinda cheeky. Has had serious relationships in the past (and he hasn't said he felt trapped in them lol). He has a virgo moon and cap mercury though. He still quite out there but I love how it's balanced with the mellow earth energy. 💆

click to expand

I do all that in the beginning as well. I’m super shy in person with someone I like. I almost need to be coheresed into bad behavior because I’m shy. I get less shy the more I am around the person. Don’t let my boldness online fool you lol.

I don’t feel trapped by a relationship either. It’s actually what I look for.

If you like him then let things flow how they are supposed to and have an open conversation about them.

But. Again. Figure out what to do about the dating app. That’s not gonna sit well with him and he will match you and just move on to someone who is into him. He will sit and observe it a little while, but once he thinks he is developing feelings, he will most likely cut them short because of his pride, since you obviously don’t like him enough to focus just on him.

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by emeraldgem

I don't know why everyone seems so quick to have you move on. It seems like a minor thing that could be fairly easily corrected if you think you may actually want to date him. How was the sex? Lol! Just text say hey enjoyed the other night even if it was a little unexpected and are you interested in seeing where this might go. Does one night of hormonal lack of control mean you just ditch?

Lol I love your advice hahah you have a way of making things simple and straight-forward. It's been a few days now since we hooked up and we haven't really talked much about it lol.

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I didn’t realize you guys hadn’t talked after you kicked him out of your bed 😜

Yeah. He’s probably overthinking things heavily and having performance anxiety! Relax his mind with a nice chatty text that says all is good and so was he lol.

Posted by applecherrypie

So I've been on a dating funk lately. But a while ago, this Sag sun was pursuing me so I went on a date cuz he seemed fun. I was not expecting anything but I had a nice time and started liking him. But afterwards he was barely texting me so I was ok guess he's not interested. I don't usually do this but I thought I genuinely liked this guy (not just romantically) and he works in a field I was trying to get into... So I told him that I'm not into dating rn (which is true) and if he wanted to be friends instead. He said he understands and agreed. Next day, he gets drunk and sends me messages he quickly deletes. I ask what it is and he said it was dick pics but idk... He starts texting me more often and wanted to meet again. So we do. Throughout the date he's complimenting me and we're like setting up another date/meeting. Long story short, he is really hot, got a long eggplant and I got horny af so we slept together lmao. Now, I never intended for our friendship to have benefits. It was not my intention and I never had issues creating these boundaries before (even while horny lol). But I fucked up. Afterwards, I even told him "hahah I should not have slept with you" and he said vaguely "no it's fine haha as long as we are clear with each other". Then when he left, he kissed me and mockingly said "so much for friends, huh?". Next day he calls me after work because I had a big interview and he is really sweet.

Now... I really regret suggesting to be friends lol. Everything is murky now. Plus we're still matched on tinder and he can easily see I'm still active (just to see who is messaging me... im not pursuing anyone cuz again im tired lol). So im afraid if he has realized this he will think I lied when I said I'm not into dating? Yeah its a big ol mess.🤦

If I'm honest, I can't continue like this because I know for sure I will develop feelings for this guy. How should I clear things up? 😕

that's whay too complicated. I think you done fucked up f'real

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by LibraSupreme

Posted by applecherrypie

Posted by LibraSupreme

What's Tinder.

From what I hear it's the sex only dating site so yeah bringing up the friends only was interpreted as you didn't click with him. Use other sites unless you only want sex.

Heeeyyyy there are some tinder relationship stories! Or so they say 😂😂😂 But yeah i know. Im kinda over it. What other sites are good?

Bumble or match I think off top. Just watch out for Tinder. I got buddies that rack up lots of #s of sex off that site. My sister did ok at meetup groups in her area of town. Good luck

Thanks. I rarely sleep with tinder dates. I tried bumble but im so bad at messaging first. I never know what to say 😂 Thanks for the reccs. Have you tried hinge by any chance?

click to expand

No I haven't. I do not internet date.

Most guys figure women can't have sex without feelings eventually attaching. Yeah you can risk opening up about how you really feel if speaking your truth will make you feel better. But unless this guy said he wanted a relationship, don't assume that was ever his intent. Guys can screw you for months & still separate the sex from the friendship, with no issues or complaints. The women usually blur the lines. He's likely already decided what kind of girl you are to him in his own head. If he friendzoned you before the sex for his own personal reasons, then what more can you do other than accept that he doesn't see you as "the one?" If he hadn't friend-zoned you before the sex, well you better hope he's not the kind of guy who'd think less of a woman just b/c she slept with him before he really courted or dated her. Speak your truth & see where his head is at (that beats over-analyzing too death just to end up with 101 guesses that you can't technically confirm) and go from there. What's the worst that could happen? Even if he says yeahNO I'm not that interested, you won't die. It'll be a teaching tool for you going forward, in that you learned about yourself that you probably shouldn't have sex unless the guy you're having it with has already confirmed that he'd be ok going beyond friendship with you

It’s understandable really. You want to know why man you like went silent. You are bribing him into reappear and bullshiting him with ‘friends inly’ Suggestion and he is emerging back into your life. What to do? Sex is a test. Usually it’s like ‘he will have sex with me and will be pussy striked and lose his head’...

Let’s face it - some rships START with sex (and I don’t mean myself. Well...I do but not everyone is THAT good...sorry...) and it’s worth trying.

So he is not becoming a bf after sex.

What’s next? More sex? Hoping he will get closer...and he might or he might not...iffy situation.

I see 2 ways. You keep fucking him on demand and hoping that he will hooked on sex and getting it will become used to it and starting to crave YOU...and it’ll transform into something other than friendship

OR

You come out clean with all that ‘I didn’t know I’ll like you more after sex and now I can’t do FWB anymore’ and he dissapearing or saying let’s try rships...

None of it is guarantee to make you happy but you have to DO SIMETHING so...it’s your choice. ITS your mutual game. Try winning. What else can you do? Good luck!

And no. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve tried...

If you're looking for sex stay on Tinder. If you want a relationship get off that sleazy site. The people who have coupled as a result of meeting on Tinder are unicorns. Women kill me saying they are not looking for anything serious when in fact they really are. Start being honest.