Getting all your flaws pointed out

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by AnnaPhototaker on Monday, December 9, 2013 and has 8 replies.

Profile picture of AnnaPhototaker
@AnnaPhototaker
13 Years

How would you feel if your best friend of 15 years wrote a letter to you pointing out all your flaws and reasons why you've been failing some things in order for you to learn and be a better person in your life?

Something like: "All that emotional baggage you're carrying is the reason why you're not happy. You need to get rid of it and I'm willing to do that with you" kinda letter.

Profile picture of tiki33
@tiki33
20 Years10,000+ Posts

The question is...Is it true? Is any of it true?

If it's true I wouldn't have an issue with it if I were in your shoes, that's what friends are for, they help us dig deep and transform ourselves.

Maybe you're getting on your friends nerves with your issues, discussing them constantly, repeating the same mistakes over and over in some way or another but still no improvement.

Your friend is concerned but probably just fed up.

Profile picture of Geminisces
@Geminisces
12 Years

The way she "offered advice" is definitely wrong. However, i think it wont do you any good if you keep thinking about how badly she said it but why?
Are the things she said true? How can you change them?
Just take some time to think about the things you need to work on. Remember nobody's perfect, but theres nothing wrong with improvement. Oh, and yur friend probably didnt mean to offend you..

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Profile picture of DMV
@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by tiki33
The question is...Is it true? Is any of it true?

If it's true I wouldn't have an issue with it if I were in your shoes, that's what friends are for, they help us dig deep and transform ourselves.

Maybe you're getting on your friends nerves with your issues, discussing them constantly, repeating the same mistakes over and over in some way or another but still no improvement.

Your friend is concerned but probably just fed up.

I agree, u may be resisting what she is saying because you dont want to face it. I have a virgo friend and I keep her around because she tells me the truth, she challenges me to see things differently.

Profile picture of misslissa
@misslissa
17 Years1,000+ PostsGemini

It doesn't really matter "how" your friend told you... What matters is they cared enough to tell you in the first place!! It's hard to watch a loved one make the same mistakes over and over again.... It causes emotional pain that is unbearable, sometimes!

For me, I would not mind. I might be upset at first, but will (and have) realize that there's probably some truth to it and I work on it. That simple!

Now, if it's a constant nitpicking at my flaws... I heard the first time and will get irritated. But, I will work on making a better me.

Profile picture of Whimsy
@Whimsy
15 Years1,000+ Posts

I don't mind constructive criticism. I very much WANT to learn and grow, and that can't happen if I'm being blind to the things in myself that might benefit from change. I have enough self-confidence to take each criticism with a grain of salt and decide for myself if it's something that's true and needs to be addressed...so bring it on.

Profile picture of Geminems
@Geminems
14 Years

if theres a reason your friend is doing that and you can understand it but dont want to get into it, laugh it off... thats what id do

but this is a weird question to ask when we really dont know the details