Hey Gem Girls How do you manage to get over a breakup?

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by diamondgemini on Monday, December 4, 2017 and has 24 replies.

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@diamondgemini
8 Years

Hey I’m a gem too and I’m having some issues getting over this Aries guy.

Our history is long, but the thing is that we kinda just definitely “broke up” and I’m having a hard time getting over him I tried keeping myself busy and doing things that I like, hanging out with friends and so on. And nothing I do takes him out of my head. I swear I’m going insane. He was a di.ck to me and I hate the fact that I still like him.

So any advice please ?

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@diamondgemini
8 Years

Hey, first of all thank you for the advice. I did try casual dating, without the sex and stil the same. Like I have guys waiting for me and wanting me seriously and I just can’t be interested in them. I tried. I just keep comparing them to him which I know I shouldn’t. But it’s almost impossible. I’m usually a positive person and I throw negative influences out of my mind even though sometimes I have my depressive moods like a gem haha. But it’s been very hard and I think I’m extremely frustrated that we didn’t have that relationship that I wanted with him and I know we would have worked out because we had amazing chemestry. Like it was wow, he was like my soulmate. But yeah. And no, I’m not talking to him anymore, I still have his number in my phone, but I’m not stalking him on social media or anything. I’m not interested in looking at his social media pages because that brings memories and anxiety so NO. Anyway thank you again for the advice

Posted by nano
Everyone’s healing process is different and takes different length of times. I got over my gem ex before we even officially broke up, but then it took me 2 years to be completely over my aqua ex.

Just allow yourself to feel what you feel and go through the motions of the healing process, whatever that looks like for you.

From gem to gem, one thing that made me feel a little better was to do some casual dating, NO SEX! - it will make you feel worse. It’s nice to put yourself back out there and feel desirable again after your confidence and self esteem is shattered post breakup. You’ll get to meet new guys and refamiliarize yourself with the opposite sex. I think it’s really important for people to meet, talk to, understand the opposite sex. I enjoyed the time of my life where I went through that transition.

Also, I don’t know if this is the case, and no woman ever will listen to this advice until she says ‘enough is enough’ and minds her own personal boundaries, but if you are still in contact - this is probably why you can’t move on. You just keep ripping the scab off every time you talk to him again and it’s never going to get better until you stop. Easier said than done, but it’s the truth.

Best wishes

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@diamondgemini
8 Years

That’s what I have been doing recently. I’m not speaking to him anymore anyway. Thank you

Posted by GeminiGirl052388
Aries was a recent heartbreak for me as well. My advise is to cut any communication with him, block him on social media and find new hobbies. Workout, focus on self improvement and travel. It should do the trick. Try new things and discover yourself more.

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@diamondgemini
8 Years

I can’t do dating at the moment either, I just don’t like anyone else as much. I tried but I was like nah so I decided to take a break from dating instead of unwillingly play with guy’s feelings.

I am also not talking to him at the moment I couldn’t care less what he’s doing. I’m just spending time with myself, working out, staying busy and focusing on my career.

Thank you for the advice 🙂

Posted by Senorita_LL
Right.

I apply the no contact rule for a start. I am doing that not because I wanted to play games, but it was for my own sanity.

In order to heal, I have to block and remove him from my life. Maybe later when I am over it, we can be friends but not for now. I spend more times with my family and friends. Music were one of the few that I used for distress.

I took some time off alone and travel. Meet new people, explore and it normally works. I refused to do casual dating though, until I knew I am heal completely. That's just my way.

The pain is real, you just have got to embrace them and let it go slowly. Baby steps. It might took a while but you will get there. I talk to myself too and damn, only the pillows knew how hard I've cried. 😄

At the end of the day, it's all about how you educate your heart. Only you have the power to that, and keep on moving forward. 😉

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@beebeeN
10 Years

Posted by diamondgemini
It’s alright haha just don’t be clingy and let him lead.

Posted by beebeeN
You’re scaring me, I️ just started dealing with an Aries guy.

click to expand

Lol okay I’ll keep myself in check.... cause I find myself wanting to see him more so I know I’m starting to like him 😩

Profile picture of diamondgemini
@diamondgemini
8 Years

essages on the aries forum and I replied. As I said there you like him so much now you’re kinda getting desperate and needy. And he’s gonna feel it too. Just try to focus on something else instead of him. Trust me if you get kinda obsessed with the idea you’re going to get crazy and confused and overthing and mess everything up. That’s what I did so try to chill a bit 🙂

Posted by beebeeN

Posted by diamondgemini
It’s alright haha just don’t be clingy and let him lead.

Posted by beebeeN
You’re scaring me, I️ just started dealing with an Aries guy.

Lol okay I’ll keep myself in check.... cause I find myself wanting to see him more so I know I’m starting to like him 😩

click to expand
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@beebeeN
10 Years

Posted by diamondgemini
I saw your messages on the aries forum and I replied. As I said there you like him so much now you’re kinda getting desperate and needy. And he’s gonna feel it too. Just try to focus on something else instead of him. Trust me if you get kinda obsessed with the idea you’re going to get crazy and confused and overthing and mess everything up. That’s what I did so try to chill a bit 🙂

Posted by beebeeN

Posted by diamondgemini
It’s alright haha just don’t be clingy and let him lead.

Posted by beebeeN
You’re scaring me, I️ just started dealing with an Aries guy.

Lol okay I’ll keep myself in check.... cause I find myself wanting to see him more so I know I’m starting to like him 😩

click to expand

Yeah I have to chill! I overthink all the time and fuck myself up....I’ll keep busy and chill. Thanks for the advice!!!

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@HippieGem
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Gemitati
New man! Nothing else will work.

Lol. No, that only works if you’re not emotionally invested anymore and OP is. I tried tinder for a few weeks when I was trying to get over the Cap last year. I only went on 2 dates.

The first one I was fighting back tears at the end of it and the guy actually thought it was him. Like I was some clingy person who expected a commitment after one date 🙄 When really it just made me miss the Cap more and wish I was with him.

I got home and cried, and realized I’d rather be alone.

Profile picture of HippieGem
@HippieGem
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by diamondgemini
Hey I’m a gem too and I’m having some issues getting over this Aries guy.

Our history is long, but the thing is that we kinda just definitely “broke up” and I’m having a hard time getting over him I tried keeping myself busy and doing things that I like, hanging out with friends and so on. And nothing I do takes him out of my head. I swear I’m going insane. He was a di.ck to me and I hate the fact that I still like him.

So any advice please ?

You’re not going insane. Genuinely caring about someone and it not affecting you when they’re out of your life is.

And like others have said, everyone needs a different amount of time to grieve over a relationship and move on.

Stay in sweatpants for a week if you want to, cry, read, talk to people, ignore people, go out, stay in, do whatever you need to do to get through heartbreak. There’s no right or wrong way.

It’ll be ok, just always put yourself first and don’t neglect your health and make yourself sick over someone else. Life goes on even when we feel like our own is at a standstill.

Eventually you’ll be able to look back at this time and appreciate it, as crazy as that may sound.

Profile picture of HippieGem
@HippieGem
8 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Senorita_LL

Posted by HippieGem

Posted by Gemitati
New man! Nothing else will work.

Lol. No, that only works if you’re not emotionally invested anymore and OP is. I tried tinder for a few weeks when I was trying to get over the Cap last year. I only went on 2 dates.

The first one I was fighting back tears at the end of it and the guy actually thought it was him. Like I was some clingy person who expected a commitment after one date 🙄 When really it just made me miss the Cap more and wish I was with him.

I got home and cried, and realized I’d rather be alone.

Haha! Lord, I thought it was just me, so you did went through the same thing? So I am not crazy? Thank God.

I can't date someone else either if I am still hanging on to my past. Ewwww...

click to expand

I think that’s pretty normal 🙂 Maybe not sorta crying at the end of a date (lol), but the not being able to just move on to the next one.

And he turned out to be way too forthcoming, sending pics I really didn’t want to see a few days later, and sending so many texts I just cut him off and blocked him. Only person I actually blocked in my life actually. 🤔

Anyway, I digress. No you’re not alone. It’s really not good to try to get over someone by dating someone new. That’s just a temporary distraction. And I found that it backfired for me.

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@mini_asian
8 Years

Looking at my previous exes (they're all Gemini's), even the ones with fixed/cardinal placements took it hard but only took 3-6 months to move on they would spend some time alone, surround themselves with friends and immerse themselves into their hobbies.

A lot of times, Gemini's already have made up their mind before the physical breakup itself. They've already mentally/emotionally moved on.

This may sound a dick move, but I have never gotten myself into better shape than after a breakup.

Profile picture of diamondgemini
@diamondgemini
8 Years

Well thank you for the advice haha and that’s great that you managed to get better after a breakup. That’s the goal

Posted by mini_asian
Looking at my previous exes (they're all Gemini's), even the ones with fixed/cardinal placements took it hard but only took 3-6 months to move on they would spend some time alone, surround themselves with friends and immerse themselves into their hobbies.

A lot of times, Gemini's already have made up their mind before the physical breakup itself. They've already mentally/emotionally moved on.

This may sound a dick move, but I have never gotten myself into better shape than after a breakup.