I'm a leo woman,confused with a leo man,so sorry

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siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
I matched (tinder) with this swedish guy(30) and i am (31) way back november 2016 but we never met in person. We chatted for months and then he decided to fly here in Singapore to meet me. We were shy at first but then we really clicked and spent one wk here before he flew to phuket. Communication before we met was good,the usual updates for the day,goodmorning goodnight msgs and phone calls. Then he disappears (this was before we met in person)! Ofcourse I got rattled and then he reappears and says he thought about things and he must fly to me to know if I am the one. Then normal msgs and then he disappears and reappears and ofcourse I was pissed with these,he then sent me a photo of his flight itinerary and will arrive in Singapore tomorrow(mid may 2017)! Like wtf?! Dont get me wrong,I'm happy he is flying and giving effort but everything is just all of a sudden. So he flew here and eveything went really good. Then he flew to phuket,wanted me to go there as well but its difficult since I was working. I asked him to choose,whether I go to thailand or I go to sweden. Ofcourse he chose sweden but he still messages me while he was in phuket like "He wasn't so important that's why I didn't follow him there" etc. And then he became busy in Phuket and txts not so often. Ofcourse he disappears and then suddenly messages me that he misses me,and so inlove with me then vanishes again? Then we applied for the visa so I can visit him and it was a stressful week. I said I can fly to thailand and visit him but he said just save your money and days for sweden

So I did what he told me. And then he disappears again and then he came back with a lot of questions like: have you told your whole family about us? What do they think? Etc etc and then he said "I'm going back home and i will tell my family" and then he said "maybe we should get married" and then asked where do we want to live etc etc I get his point like how can we be together if we are not together physically and countries apart. But everything feels so rushed,we chatted for months-spent 1wk together here in Singapore and then he talks about marriage?--is this normal??So after all the emotions for one day,he then disappears again,like wtf?! After you ask me to marry you then you disappear again—?? Ugh!!!! I don't know what to do now..today I got my visa for sweden and it is approved..I messaged him on fb but he last logged in like 14hrs ago....what to do? Sorry for the long post
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siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Chuckcem
I posted my thoughts in another topic, so I'll just link it here:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/ask-a-leo-7783794/?p=13


thank you for your response,I just read it thru the link. Yeah,when he asked me "maybe we should get married" i first asked him if he was on drugs etc and he said that the visa application stressed him out and that me being asian will be a bit difficult when we want to be together,so he wants to make me swedish so its gonna be easier for both of us..Its just so frustrating everytime he leves me hanging,like on the verge of giving up and then he reappears and comes with a plan. He is so weird really. We were chatting online and he said what if we met and fell inlove,would I come to sweden? And then now here we met and spent one wk,I got my visa for sweden but idk where the fudge he is..sorry,I seriously just got my visa a few minutes ago
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siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Astrology101
When you say he disappears? How long is it usually? 3 days? 1 Week? 1 month?

No it's not abnormal for you to feel rushed. You just met for a week... I would feel the same way..

What work does he do? Maybe he is busy with work hence disappears?


thanks for your quick response. He usually disappears like 2-3days and then comes back with a sudden decision that I didn't see coming. Like first time he disappeared he came back saying he will fly to singapore,then normal txts then he disappears without notice then comes back with flight itinerary and says I must meet you because you might be the one! Then as mentioned above,we spent 1wk here and he flew to phuket but I cant come abd when I asked if after a few days if i should go to phuket then he says just save your money and days for sweden,then stress week then he doesn't reply that much to my txts then Saturday sudden burst of emotions from him then asked me to marry him etc etc then quiet again,my msg last sunday was "seen zoned" as well as monday. Then today I got my visa and his last login on fb was 15hrs ago 😢
Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Chuckcem
I posted my thoughts in another topic, so I'll just link it here:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/ask-a-leo-7783794/?p=13


thank you for your response,I just read it thru the link. Yeah,when he asked me "maybe we should get married" i first asked him if he was on drugs etc and he said that the visa application stressed him out and that me being asian will be a bit difficult when we want to be together,so he wants to make me swedish so its gonna be easier for both of us..Its just so frustrating everytime he leves me hanging,like on the verge of giving up and then he reappears and comes with a plan. He is so weird really. We were chatting online and he said what if we met and fell inlove,would I come to sweden? And then now here we met and spent one wk,I got my visa for sweden but idk where the fudge he is..sorry,I seriously just got my visa a few minutes ago

click to expand

Well one thing to remember is, you really don't know this person. Have you been to Sweden before? Do you know anyone else there besides him? What happens if you two have an argument or he randomly disappears on you while you're visiting him? These are things to think about before you dive head first into an unknown situation.
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siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Astrology101
Ok what work does he do?



I think you need to tell him this is going way too fast for you. That you need to meet him properly and date him for atleast 6 months before making a decision.

Tell him you don't know him at all.

He can't force you to marry him.. if you think it's going fast tell him.. you won't marry him.. you can say no.



He's from a different country.. and you don't know anything other than whatever he has told you. you need to be careful and make sure you take whatever he says with a pinch of salt..

If you want to visit him in sweden don't go alone.... go with someone so that you can meet his family etc. Go meet his friends family workplace etc....

There are con artists everywhere.. and this guy could easily be a fraud.




OMG your words might be true,scary,fuck when will I ever learn. I did tell him that the marriage thing is way too fast and that we should talk as adults about this and he said yes, but visa applications for sweden are hard and troublesome for asians so I dont have any friends to accompany me. All you said was true,that is what I told him way back when we were chatting and he wants me to fly to Sweden, he worked at the mine there in Kiruna before and now he does freelance jobs so he has a lot of free time to travel. When he told me to fly to sweden while we were chatting.ofcorse i said no and told him I didn't know anyone there,it is vey far and expensive so that is why he flew all the way from sweden to singapore to meet me. I just dont know why he wants to rush it. Maybe the distance of being together is an issue,I dont know really.
Profile picture of siopaowiks
siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Chuckcem
I posted my thoughts in another topic, so I'll just link it here:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/ask-a-leo-7783794/?p=13


thank you for your response,I just read it thru the link. Yeah,when he asked me "maybe we should get married" i first asked him if he was on drugs etc and he said that the visa application stressed him out and that me being asian will be a bit difficult when we want to be together,so he wants to make me swedish so its gonna be easier for both of us..Its just so frustrating everytime he leves me hanging,like on the verge of giving up and then he reappears and comes with a plan. He is so weird really. We were chatting online and he said what if we met and fell inlove,would I come to sweden? And then now here we met and spent one wk,I got my visa for sweden but idk where the fudge he is..sorry,I seriously just got my visa a few minutes ago


Well one thing to remember is, you really don't know this person. Have you been to Sweden before? Do you know anyone else there besides him? What happens if you two have an argument or he randomly disappears on you while you're visiting him? These are things to think about before you dive head first into an unknown situation.

click to expand

Yeah,I barely know him except for the exchange of chats/txts/phone calls,and no I haven't been to sweden. This was supposed to be my first time. Yeah,I know..thats what I told him before he flew here..coz he wants me to go there last time while we were chatting. I said it is too far too expensive and I dont know anyone there,so he flew here instead. I thought he was putting effort by flying all the way there to here in singapore 😢 I did msg him today on fb and whatsapp about my visa..he hasn't replied yet. I feel so dumb right now..

Btw my last msg to him was like monday morning and after that I deactivated my fb for 1day and just want my sanity back. I never chased him or nagged him whenever he is out of sight..I just let him be,he always comes back

Profile picture of siopaowiks
siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Astrology101
Ok what work does he do?



I think you need to tell him this is going way too fast for you. That you need to meet him properly and date him for atleast 6 months before making a decision.

Tell him you don't know him at all.

He can't force you to marry him.. if you think it's going fast tell him.. you won't marry him.. you can say no.



He's from a different country.. and you don't know anything other than whatever he has told you. you need to be careful and make sure you take whatever he says with a pinch of salt..

If you want to visit him in sweden don't go alone.... go with someone so that you can meet his family etc. Go meet his friends family workplace etc....

There are con artists everywhere.. and this guy could easily be a fraud.




OMG your words might be true,scary,fuck when will I ever learn. I did tell him that the marriage thing is way too fast and that we should talk as adults about this and he said yes, but visa applications for sweden are hard and troublesome for asians so I dont have any friends to accompany me. All you said was true,that is what I told him way back when we were chatting and he wants me to fly to Sweden, he worked at the mine there in Kiruna before and now he does freelance jobs so he has a lot of free time to travel. When he told me to fly to sweden while we were chatting.ofcorse i said no and told him I didn't know anyone there,it is vey far and expensive so that is why he flew all the way from sweden to singapore to meet me. I just dont know why he wants to rush it. Maybe the distance of being together is an issue,I dont know really.


You don't even know what kind of job he does... He does freelance jobs? but for what?

How does he have all the money for you visa/ flight etc?

Please know this person properly before anything.
click to expand

He worked at a mine before for years and now doing consulting for the mine,he works freelance by helping his mom in her reindeer shop in kiruna.

Profile picture of siopaowiks
siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Astrology101
Ok what work does he do?



I think you need to tell him this is going way too fast for you. That you need to meet him properly and date him for atleast 6 months before making a decision.

Tell him you don't know him at all.

He can't force you to marry him.. if you think it's going fast tell him.. you won't marry him.. you can say no.



He's from a different country.. and you don't know anything other than whatever he has told you. you need to be careful and make sure you take whatever he says with a pinch of salt..

If you want to visit him in sweden don't go alone.... go with someone so that you can meet his family etc. Go meet his friends family workplace etc....

There are con artists everywhere.. and this guy could easily be a fraud.




OMG your words might be true,scary,fuck when will I ever learn. I did tell him that the marriage thing is way too fast and that we should talk as adults about this and he said yes, but visa applications for sweden are hard and troublesome for asians so I dont have any friends to accompany me. All you said was true,that is what I told him way back when we were chatting and he wants me to fly to Sweden, he worked at the mine there in Kiruna before and now he does freelance jobs so he has a lot of free time to travel. When he told me to fly to sweden while we were chatting.ofcorse i said no and told him I didn't know anyone there,it is vey far and expensive so that is why he flew all the way from sweden to singapore to meet me. I just dont know why he wants to rush it. Maybe the distance of being together is an issue,I dont know really.


You don't even know what kind of job he does... He does freelance jobs? but for what?

How does he have all the money for you visa/ flight etc?

Please know this person properly before anything.

The last thing on your mind should be getting a fast-tracked visa...

You should be learning who the guy is...
click to expand



Yeah,stupid of me..now I have a visa to sweden and he is like idk where. Mind you,he did help me with the application by sppnsoring the accomodation..fudge! why am I so stupid,sorry. I just thought him flying here was soooo surreal,never thought it would be like this. Sorry,but thanks for your replies,greatly appreciated.
Profile picture of siopaowiks
siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Astrology101
Ok what work does he do?



I think you need to tell him this is going way too fast for you. That you need to meet him properly and date him for atleast 6 months before making a decision.

Tell him you don't know him at all.

He can't force you to marry him.. if you think it's going fast tell him.. you won't marry him.. you can say no.



He's from a different country.. and you don't know anything other than whatever he has told you. you need to be careful and make sure you take whatever he says with a pinch of salt..

If you want to visit him in sweden don't go alone.... go with someone so that you can meet his family etc. Go meet his friends family workplace etc....

There are con artists everywhere.. and this guy could easily be a fraud.




OMG your words might be true,scary,fuck when will I ever learn. I did tell him that the marriage thing is way too fast and that we should talk as adults about this and he said yes, but visa applications for sweden are hard and troublesome for asians so I dont have any friends to accompany me. All you said was true,that is what I told him way back when we were chatting and he wants me to fly to Sweden, he worked at the mine there in Kiruna before and now he does freelance jobs so he has a lot of free time to travel. When he told me to fly to sweden while we were chatting.ofcorse i said no and told him I didn't know anyone there,it is vey far and expensive so that is why he flew all the way from sweden to singapore to meet me. I just dont know why he wants to rush it. Maybe the distance of being together is an issue,I dont know really.


You don't even know what kind of job he does... He does freelance jobs? but for what?

How does he have all the money for you visa/ flight etc?

Please know this person properly before anything.

The last thing on your mind should be getting a fast-tracked visa...

You should be learning who the guy is...


Yeah,stupid of me..now I have a visa to sweden and he is like idk where. Mind you,he did help me with the application by sppnsoring the accomodation..fudge! why am I so stupid,sorry. I just thought him flying here was soooo surreal,never thought it would be like this. Sorry,but thanks for your replies,greatly appreciated.




Tell him you don't know him well enough.. to go to sweden.. let alone be married.

Does your family know about this.... talk to someone from your family about these decisions.
click to expand

Profile picture of Chuckcem
Nameless Nemean
@Chuckcem
14 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 17 · Posts: 5119 · Topics: 78
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Chuckcem
I posted my thoughts in another topic, so I'll just link it here:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/ask-a-leo-7783794/?p=13


thank you for your response,I just read it thru the link. Yeah,when he asked me "maybe we should get married" i first asked him if he was on drugs etc and he said that the visa application stressed him out and that me being asian will be a bit difficult when we want to be together,so he wants to make me swedish so its gonna be easier for both of us..Its just so frustrating everytime he leves me hanging,like on the verge of giving up and then he reappears and comes with a plan. He is so weird really. We were chatting online and he said what if we met and fell inlove,would I come to sweden? And then now here we met and spent one wk,I got my visa for sweden but idk where the fudge he is..sorry,I seriously just got my visa a few minutes ago


Well one thing to remember is, you really don't know this person. Have you been to Sweden before? Do you know anyone else there besides him? What happens if you two have an argument or he randomly disappears on you while you're visiting him? These are things to think about before you dive head first into an unknown situation.


Yeah,I barely know him except for the exchange of chats/txts/phone calls,and no I haven't been to sweden. This was supposed to be my first time. Yeah,I know..thats what I told him before he flew here..coz he wants me to go there last time while we were chatting. I said it is too far too expensive and I dont know anyone there,so he flew here instead. I thought he was putting effort by flying all the way there to here in singapore 😢 I did msg him today on fb and whatsapp about my visa..he hasn't replied yet. I feel so dumb right now..

Btw my last msg to him was like monday morning and after that I deactivated my fb for 1day and just want my sanity back. I never chased him or nagged him whenever he is out of sight..I just let him be,he always comes back

click to expand

My advice is to be careful. It would be one thing if you were head over heels for this guy and he was consistent with his communication. That isn't the case here though. Something inside of you is clearly concerned about this situation. Listen to your intuition.

Unfortunately I, nor anyone here, knows exactly what is going on with this guy. I will say that he is moving awfully fast for a guy who has only spent a week with you in person. When relationships move fast, they are unlikely to last. For all that you know this guy could be possessive, controlling, obsessive, jealous, or worse.

If you do wind up going to Sweden, I suggest staying in your own hotel room and plan an exit strategy if things go south (do your research on Sweden). Tell your family and friends where you're going to be (or even better, take someone with you).

Also what's your long term goal with this guy? Starting a long distance relationship comes with its own set of challenges even if everything goes well.
Profile picture of siopaowiks
siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Astrology101
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Astrology101
Ok what work does he do?



I think you need to tell him this is going way too fast for you. That you need to meet him properly and date him for atleast 6 months before making a decision.

Tell him you don't know him at all.

He can't force you to marry him.. if you think it's going fast tell him.. you won't marry him.. you can say no.



He's from a different country.. and you don't know anything other than whatever he has told you. you need to be careful and make sure you take whatever he says with a pinch of salt..

If you want to visit him in sweden don't go alone.... go with someone so that you can meet his family etc. Go meet his friends family workplace etc....

There are con artists everywhere.. and this guy could easily be a fraud.




OMG your words might be true,scary,fuck when will I ever learn. I did tell him that the marriage thing is way too fast and that we should talk as adults about this and he said yes, but visa applications for sweden are hard and troublesome for asians so I dont have any friends to accompany me. All you said was true,that is what I told him way back when we were chatting and he wants me to fly to Sweden, he worked at the mine there in Kiruna before and now he does freelance jobs so he has a lot of free time to travel. When he told me to fly to sweden while we were chatting.ofcorse i said no and told him I didn't know anyone there,it is vey far and expensive so that is why he flew all the way from sweden to singapore to meet me. I just dont know why he wants to rush it. Maybe the distance of being together is an issue,I dont know really.


You don't even know what kind of job he does... He does freelance jobs? but for what?

How does he have all the money for you visa/ flight etc?

Please know this person properly before anything.

The last thing on your mind should be getting a fast-tracked visa...

You should be learning who the guy is...


Yeah,stupid of me..now I have a visa to sweden and he is like idk where. Mind you,he did help me with the application by sppnsoring the accomodation..fudge! why am I so stupid,sorry. I just thought him flying here was soooo surreal,never thought it would be like this. Sorry,but thanks for your replies,greatly appreciated.




Tell him you don't know him well enough.. to go to sweden.. let alone be married.

Does your family know about this.... talk to someone from your family about these decisions.
click to expand

Yeah, I think I was also rushed with my emotions. I have told my friends and siblings. He said he told his sisters about it. But ofcourse it is risky especially on my side.

Some of my friends say its sketchy,some are supportive..

Profile picture of siopaowiks
siopaowiks
@siopaowiks
12 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 187 · Topics: 14
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Chuckcem
Posted by siopaowiks
Posted by Chuckcem
I posted my thoughts in another topic, so I'll just link it here:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/leo/ask-a-leo-7783794/?p=13


thank you for your response,I just read it thru the link. Yeah,when he asked me "maybe we should get married" i first asked him if he was on drugs etc and he said that the visa application stressed him out and that me being asian will be a bit difficult when we want to be together,so he wants to make me swedish so its gonna be easier for both of us..Its just so frustrating everytime he leves me hanging,like on the verge of giving up and then he reappears and comes with a plan. He is so weird really. We were chatting online and he said what if we met and fell inlove,would I come to sweden? And then now here we met and spent one wk,I got my visa for sweden but idk where the fudge he is..sorry,I seriously just got my visa a few minutes ago


Well one thing to remember is, you really don't know this person. Have you been to Sweden before? Do you know anyone else there besides him? What happens if you two have an argument or he randomly disappears on you while you're visiting him? These are things to think about before you dive head first into an unknown situation.


Yeah,I barely know him except for the exchange of chats/txts/phone calls,and no I haven't been to sweden. This was supposed to be my first time. Yeah,I know..thats what I told him before he flew here..coz he wants me to go there last time while we were chatting. I said it is too far too expensive and I dont know anyone there,so he flew here instead. I thought he was putting effort by flying all the way there to here in singapore 😢 I did msg him today on fb and whatsapp about my visa..he hasn't replied yet. I feel so dumb right now..

Btw my last msg to him was like monday morning and after that I deactivated my fb for 1day and just want my sanity back. I never chased him or nagged him whenever he is out of sight..I just let him be,he always comes back


My advice is to be careful. It would be one thing if you were head over heels for this guy and he was consistent with his communication. That isn't the case here though. Something inside of you is clearly concerned about this situation. Listen to your intuition.

Unfortunately I, nor anyone here, knows exactly what is going on with this guy. I will say that he is moving awfully fast for a guy who has only spent a week with you in person. When relationships move fast, they are unlikely to last. For all that you know this guy could be possessive, controlling, obsessive, jealous, or worse.

If you do wind up going to Sweden, I suggest staying in your own hotel room and plan an exit strategy if things go south (do your research on Sweden). Tell your family and friends where you're going to be (or even better, take someone with you).

Also what's your long term goal with this guy? Starting a long distance relationship comes with its own set of challenges even if everything goes well.
click to expand



Sorry for my late reply,was teaching. Yeah,if only he was consistent with his communication then it won't look sketchy. He was the one head over heels with me to be honest, I think he was planning all these before he even came here to singapore. When we were chatting,he always asked what would i do if we fell inlove? Would u move to sweden? Have i told my family/friends about us? He wants to get me a swedish passport etc etc,all these he said before we even met. And now he is saying the exact same things but his actions doesn't coincide with this. I know he got stressed by my visa application but I dont know really what is happening.

My log term goal with him is just to enjoy the ride first,go with the flow,he was like planning everything before hand. Like last time when we chatted he would disappear and then reappear and say--I've thought about this a lot and I will fly to you--

Now he is thinking more long term than what I am thinking. He is thinking of moving with me or me moving with him while he gets his helicopter license which he mentioned way back Feb/March this year. Mind you,everything he said way back Feb/March he is repeating again today,words yes but actions are delayed. I don't know if he is contemplating on it or what..

I don't know if i will go to sweden to be honest,in my visa application I said that he will sponsor my accomodation wherein he wrote a letter for it as proof. I can't be bothered last minute for a hotel reservation unless I suddenly change my mind or if he replies..