Leo Male Help

hey, trying to keep this short but want to give the full pic!

Met a leo guy online 11months out of a relationship which ive now found out could have been quite emotionally hard (for him) of 12yrs. He was like a steam train with the effection, calling, excited to meet. Chatted every day (from May - 2 days ago) met up, both said had a great date. I explained I had been emotionally and mentally tortured in my marriage of 15yrs (he was great, said to let him know anything I was thinking so it didn't destroy the connection we had)

Planned a 2nd date but he said he was ill the night before so it got cancelled. Planned a 2nd date again but child plans messed it up a bit but still saw him 2 hours as he said there was no way he was cancelling, again both said it went great, he was still messaging every morning and through the day but then i noticed he wasn't as full on as he had been with his messages, they were still coming through but not like before. Tried to plan a 3rd date and he cancelled again the night before, ill. On the day we were supposed to meet he was still messaging but it got a bit wierd, I said i was in his area with a friend and the messages he sent seemed to be questioning exactly where I was (to me as if he was afraid of bumping into me) I then went on to say this and he took massive offence. He said he'd always been honest, he just was asking in general as he loved to know inwas having a great time. After that he really pulled back, still messaged every morning but hey how are you, just very cold compared to previous.

I ended up getting him to face time and he admitted he had pulled back because he was worried he was going to get into the same situation as with his ex (of 12yrs) we talked, we both said we would have left this a few weeks back due to these hick ups but we both felt we had some amazing connection that we didn't want to throw away. I thought after that we would get back to normal (steam train) we didn't, i asked to meet, to facetime and he was dodging it, but still messaging everyday. He said his head was all over the place but again he didn't want to throw it away so I suggested on the Friday to not message at all and see how he felt, if he missed me wed work something out, if he didn't he had his answer and to come back to me monday with a decision. He said how amazing I was to suggest this and he would do it. Monday came and nothing. Tuesday afternoon a message saying hi, hope youve both had a good weekend. I was pissed he was so casual and it was Tuesday, Monday id taken it as over. So I told him I was pissed, he didn't like it one bit. After texting back and forth he said he did want to chat to work something out as he'd missed me but he then decided he was dragging his old insecurites into this and he was afraid if he carried on he might freak, run and hurt me.

He's said how im one in a million, how amazing I am, never to change and loads more beautiful stuff........... have i screwed this up or could this be potentially honest and he could come back....... im seriously feeling destroyed which isn't normal at all. He seems such a genuinely lovely guy who's a bit messed up but its been since may to the end of July and ive seen him a total of 6hours in dates the rest of the time text, facetime a lot at first but then not.

Sorry this is mega, I havent got everything in there either 😆

I've also sent him over a lot of info around mental and emotional abuse in relationships after this decision which helped me(5yrs ago) and hes said how grateful he is for it, how it proves what an amazing person I am and just kept thanking me for being me

This is a refreshing post. On behalf of Leos everywhere, thank you for being so direct. A lot of people in your position would have resorted to playing games in order to "gain the upperhand". This usually blows up in their faces and suddenly the Leo is at fault in their minds. So again, thank you for being straight forward.

It sounds like this Leo is not emotionally available. As you mentioned he is less than a year out of an emotionally taxing 12-year relationship. There is a saying that it takes half as long to get over a relationship as it took to be in that relationship. So according to some folks, he will not be emotionally available for 6 years. I do not actually believe this is true, but I do think he will need at least a year of being single (maybe longer) to rediscover himself before being emotionally available. He will not truly be able to offer himself fully until then. Likewise this is still a very recent development for him and it could be moving faster than he can handle.

On the other hand, you do not actually know this Leo. In fact you have only known him going on 3 months now. It could be that the 90 day initial spark phase is coming to an end and you are now seeing him for who he is. Likewise it is possible that he is talking to other women and not being upfront about it. Granted since this connection is so new, that is only a problem if he lied about his intentions with you. In fact unless you two had already discussed getting to know each other exclusively, I would suggest you keep other options open. It is possible that his feelings have waned, so you will need to be aware of that possibility.

Whatever his reasons are, it still sounds like he is not in the position to match your emotional output at this time. Instead of getting frustrated about it, see this as an opportunity to back off and reevaluate the connection.

Hi Chuckcem, thanks for taking the time to reply! I did initially at the time say 11months out was not very long and he explained they both knew for around a year and a half things weren't right but tried (child involved) so he'd said he'd been cut off from the relationship emotionally longer than 11months.

He seems a really lovely genuine guy...... but in this day and age a lot do and to be honest on paper, id 100% say he was messing me around, however, actually speaking with him it was as if i could see the emotional turmoil he seemed to be in and he spoke so genuinely. We did have an amazing connection, both said we would only be speaking to each other because we valued the connection we seemed to have. Sounds really crazy so early on.

I'm a great believer we cross each others paths for a reason, he said i made him feel the most cared for and respected that he'd felt in the last 13yrs, I hope I did and I hope it helps him on his road to recovery if that is what is happening with him because its pants when you have insecurities and you are then met by more manipulating people. Who knows, maybe he will come back, maybe he won't is what ive come up with today (even though I'm still really sad about it) he was the first person I'd opened up to in 5 years...... we both did each other a favour i suppose but maybe that, on top of his own insecurities was too much pressure for him to handle.

Honestly, leos seem lovely, loved the steam train approach, didn't like the pull back but would have loved for him to just maybe let me in and work through the insecurities as a team but I just wasn't THE one that's all....... unless theres any updates in the coming weeks but I won't sit and wait around ill just carry on moving forward 🙂

I'd just like to add to this about your time comment. I was 15yrs in and now 5 yrs out and can relate to it, i have once thought id been side blinded by someone, unexpectedly and it was great but absolutely nothing like what this guy did, he didn't just sweep me off my feet in an exciting way, Its the most secure and genuinely happy and content I've felt in a life time. His excitement, openness, care, kindness and beautiful side was absolutely wonderful and thats what ill take from this and if thats what leos have to offer....... the other side I saw would have been worth working through. From this experience he's shown a leo maybe full of insecurities (at some point) but that amazing side........ wow its beautiful 🙂

Mmmm who said anything about love or marriage, (well actually thinking about it..... he did mention that and talk about a future, but I just skimmed over it) or not leaving him alone. Thanks for your comment but I find it quite disrespectful really without knowing the situation fully to be so presumptuous that this was all from my side.... which it wasnt by the way.

I pride myself on being kind, constructive and respectful to others..... its something good to learn

Posted by adele3612

Hi Chuckcem, thanks for taking the time to reply! I did initially at the time say 11months out was not very long and he explained they both knew for around a year and a half things weren't right but tried (child involved) so he'd said he'd been cut off from the relationship emotionally longer than 11months.

He seems a really lovely genuine guy...... but in this day and age a lot do and to be honest on paper, id 100% say he was messing me around, however, actually speaking with him it was as if i could see the emotional turmoil he seemed to be in and he spoke so genuinely. We did have an amazing connection, both said we would only be speaking to each other because we valued the connection we seemed to have. Sounds really crazy so early on.

I'm a great believer we cross each others paths for a reason, he said i made him feel the most cared for and respected that he'd felt in the last 13yrs, I hope I did and I hope it helps him on his road to recovery if that is what is happening with him because its pants when you have insecurities and you are then met by more manipulating people. Who knows, maybe he will come back, maybe he won't is what ive come up with today (even though I'm still really sad about it) he was the first person I'd opened up to in 5 years...... we both did each other a favour i suppose but maybe that, on top of his own insecurities was too much pressure for him to handle.

Honestly, leos seem lovely, loved the steam train approach, didn't like the pull back but would have loved for him to just maybe let me in and work through the insecurities as a team but I just wasn't THE one that's all....... unless theres any updates in the coming weeks but I won't sit and wait around ill just carry on moving forward 🙂

One thing to remember is that his insecurities are his to fix. Who knows, he may just need time. However it is best not to wait around while he figures things out. He knows how to communicate with you if he needs to do so.

Time is too precious and ive come to the same conclusion thanks again for your time 🙂

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

Don’t you think IF he wanted to BE with you - HE would find the way?

Literally word for word what I told you about the married scorp and the years you wasted/continue to waste on him. But thats life!

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

Don’t you think IF he wanted to BE with you - HE would find the way?

Literally word for word what I told you about the married scorp and the years you wasted/continue to waste on him. But thats life!

click to expand

I have never dated a married man, nor would I ??