Leo man is confusing...

Men normally are suppose to say what they mean - "just friends" and "no strings" should mean exactly what it implies right? So why am I confused?

I met my friend technically at the beginning of 2011 and occasionally ran into him. He's 49 and I'll be 41 shortly. In mid August 2011, we had our first encounter. Before doing so, "just friends" and "no strings" was established by him. I know, not very flattering of me as an Aqua to agree to but we were both about 2.5+ years out of bad relationships and he is still recovering from a long term frying pan and a jump into the fire after that. This idea lasted a week (no clue where it went). After about another 2 weeks of "hanging out", it became a daily thing - in his territory - and texting constantly when we are not together. It's like we are joined at the hip sometimes but we do take a day off here or there just to go into our own worlds - it's an unspoken thing.

We have so much in common, want a lot of the same things, and anything he introduces me to I love (riding on the back of his motorcycle for example). He either cooks me dinner (bbq ribs are to die for), or takes me out to eat. We do practically everything together - even helping him with his work. I've met his parents, his friends (quality over quantity), some family... we've taken day trips to see some and there has even been chat of spending the night next time we go visit. I've noticed things have become We and Our in general conversation. Being an Aqua woman, I fully understand and love what a man's "cave" is and was ecstatic last month when I was finally allowed into those rooms. He insisted on cleaning them first. He's anal so everything has a place. I know this falls under Leo's as well since the have a lot of pride.

cont'...

...Aside from the bitterness he has over the ex's - it was a lot worse in the beginning - we always have fun, he constantly makes me laugh and any little project is full of teasing and jokes. But, there has only been a few meaningful hugs since that first week. He's made observations between my parents, his parents, and us - "You're parents are like a couple of kids, just like us." He's made comments such as "you're such a cool woman", "You're great. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you." The last part there I fumbled on, said "no you don't" and kept up the conversation prior to it. I find he is a very emotionally mature man and I've seen him grow these past few month when it comes to past trauma.

Basically, I'm confused as to what he's doing. Is this courting? or am I really stuck in a friend zone?

I forgot to add - The other evening, while he was on the phone with a friend who was giving lousy instructions for a computer issue, I became extremely impatient and frustrated. I got up, whispered that I was going home to eat dinner, and left quickly. I didn't get halfway down the road before he was texting me to come back and have dinner with him. He thought I was mad but I did apologize for my exit and explained to him that after being in the IT field before and dealing with customers and users, it was natural for programmers and database admins to tick me off. It had nothing personally to do with him or his friend. I just lack patience when it comes to IT talk. Not sure why he insisted on me coming back but we went out and had a wonderful time.

A wounded lion...Good luck! You are going to need it once your Aqua heart gets heavily involved but for the most it's still an FWB situation with him, given that you were open enough to allow the relationship to be on his terms well he's showering you with that lovable lion affection and shining that warm spotlight sun all over you by rewarding you with intense attention.

Being an Aqua myself. I feel your Aqua rebellion will inevitably rear it's head, you are fiercely independent and at some point you will attempt to flip the terms to equal things out and not let it be all about him, you'll attempt to put your needs first or at least try to help him understand your feelings and needs are relevant, when you decide you don't want to play by his rules anymore is when the problem will surface. In the mean time try to enjoy what you have with him, you have the warm fuzzy loving sunny side of him right now, enjoy.

Thanks guys. I just wasn't understanding his constant need for me to be around and everything he's doing. I mean he has the guys to hang out with too right? It's taken me almost a year to fully accept his complements and all towards me. I think it has something to do with me emotionally detaching a lot.

Anyway, after a few funny texts back and forth earlier, I basically told him I would say something but I have a gag order from the friend zone. I'm not that scared to drop little hints here and there anymore and would probably remind him that he has me locked in the friend zone cage if he starts asking any questions... gotta let me out of the cage in order to answer them. What he does with my hints is up to him.

So, all in all, tikki, in a way you are right about flipping the terms on him. He does need to realize that it's not all about him, it's about us no matter what relationship we ride with. As much as I'd like to tell the world, and him, that I love him madly instead of just "oh we're just good friends. It's nothing like that" bs, I will remain patient but won't hold my breath.

Split, in a way I do prefer being friends first and getting to know the real person. I've rushed into way too many relations and went down burning. Right now, we're comfortable about not having to fake who we really are as most relationships start off as. If it grows into something bigger and better, awesome... if not I can still say I have a best friend.

Thanks Healer. I just wish I met him sooner, before the bs ex's. Then not only would I not have to hear about them, but he would be in a much better place on a personal level. Watching him grow has been entertaining to say the least. He did something funny the other day... I giggled and said "olive juice" - I know he heard me but I doubt he would have any clue what I actually meant to say. It's getting harder not to cross that line, but I can be patient for a little while longer.

Ur insane! I mean, here you are in the (friend zone) with a guy whose been apparently wounded from his ex's..U r standing by being his devoted friend (patiently) waiting for him to commit to you? while u r secretly in love with him, hoping that sooner or later he'll say AHA! YOUR THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS! ETC ETC ..I get the whole the heart wants, what the heart wants,... trust me im a romantic at heart ! But U R making it far too easy for him and much to harder for U! .. STAY AWAY FROM HIM : STOP making yourself so available !..MEET OTHER GUYS, mingle, let him GOOO! Do u actually think he's not aware of how u feel? he knows, he has u excatly where he wants u?! on the sidelines!...Look everyone heals diffrently, but odviously, this man will not be ready for you or anyone else any time soon! Im hope when he's all healed up, he doesnt move on to someone else and you be stuck in the FRIEND ZONE forever. WISE UP HUN !

Posted by bibiana
Ur insane! I mean, here you are in the (friend zone) with a guy whose been apparently wounded from his ex's..U r standing by being his devoted friend (patiently) waiting for him to commit to you? while u r secretly in love with him, hoping that sooner or later he'll say AHA! YOUR THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS! ETC ETC ..I get the whole the heart wants, what the heart wants,... trust me im a romantic at heart ! But U R making it far too easy for him and much to harder for U! .. STAY AWAY FROM HIM : STOP making yourself so available !..MEET OTHER GUYS, mingle, let him GOOO! Do u actually think he's not aware of how u feel? he knows, he has u excatly where he wants u?! on the sidelines!...Look everyone heals diffrently, but odviously, this man will not be ready for you or anyone else any time soon! Im hope when he's all healed up, he doesnt move on to someone else and you be stuck in the FRIEND ZONE forever. WISE UP HUN !

Who said anything about commitment—? True, I have feelings for him yes, but if he chooses to start dating again when he's ready, I'll step out. Why would I stay away from someone that makes me laugh all day, gives me work when he has it, and cooks? Besides, the question wasn't about what I should do to land him and get him to commit... it was about his actions towards me if I'm just a friend.

His actions are of someone who has a woman conveniently in his life! ..he is nice to her as a friend with no obligations ...( friend zone)..there shouldn't be any confusion about that!

Posted by bibiana
His actions are of someone who has a woman conveniently in his life! ..he is nice to her as a friend with no obligations ...( friend zone)..there shouldn't be any confusion about that!

As an Aqua it is confusing especially since we don't do those things with friends of the same gender never mind just friends of the opposite sex. I know we Aquas can be frustrating at times but theres no need to get flippant.

Im just being honest! ..your birth sign shouldn't really have too much factor! Im a saggie and I hate to travel ...you know exactly were u stand with him! In my opinion u want more! There's nothing wrong with that ?! But u r not confused..lets be real... Ur 41, He's 49..nope..He's hurt and ur waiting !

Thats why I posted in the Leo board to get a take on him as a Leo and not the Relationship board.

Of course, you are not going to post this on the relationship board U and ur leo are not in a relationship!..However, There are some pretty savvy leo's on here so, read all their advice's and hopefully a you'll find a satisfying conclusion to ur intrigue on this LEO man that your in love with! JUST SAYIN!

I think that plane made it's own air strip...

I was pointing out that you just stated you were a Sag. You gave me no indication that you had Leo experience, only man experience. In fact, I thought you were a Leo or had much experience with Leos in some form until you stated that signs shouldn't have too much factor. I was happy and content with Tiki's and split's responses as I stated to them earlier - they were both blunt enough in an adult manner for me to handle the truth without telling me that I'm insane or making me feel like some immature brat. And for all intent and purpose, friendship is a form of relationship.

Im just being completely honest! It is pretty insane ( in my opinion) to wanted as many people as possible advice over a situation that you already know what's the DEAL! so, he treats you awesome, he makes you laugh, you've met some of his family memebrs?! OK, thats off the charts sensational! In fact, im happy that people will read for themselves how awesome LEO's can be! ( i've been with one myself for over a year) The get such a bad rap! But at the end of the day , it's still my opinion! U do sound ( with all due respect) like an IMMATURE BRAT! 41 is still young, however, you should atleast have some sense of reality! Sorry, just keepin it real! Ur goal is to have this man in ur life! Nothing wrong with that..But to want to know little bits of his mannerisms or why he says WHAT's NEW or why that?! sorry, it sounds immature! my opinion..no matter how u want to flip it or how u want to post about it!, no matter how u want to describe it! According to your original post "NO STRING attach!" he made the desicion in what kind a friendship you guys would have... So he's treating you respectfully and as a kind friend! There's absolutely no confusion about that!..... Oh and i totally agree frienship is a form of a realtionship...:-)

My apologies folks! My computer went crazy reposting my reply!

Understood. Im just being honest tho. Giving my opinion just like everyone else. Perhaps, it may seem like im being too harsh..but that's just me how i am....

Nope. just honest.

Yes, as many have already stated, your leo guy is just afraid of getting hurt again. Leos are very passionate and they love to love and to BE loved. Underneath their confident and charming exterior they are blazing (insecurities, need for admiration, hopeless love and much more). As much as he chooses to occupy his life with you (texting, calling, hanging out A LOT, meeting his and your parents...) that says it right there. If he says that he loves you, he probably does and that is also a test. He wants to make sure that you care for him as much as he cares about you. He's trying to see whether or not he can finally let go with you. You have to reassure him constantly that you care. I mean, like go out of your way so that it is crystal clear. Once he sees that you are not afraid of love or a relationship, that you are his ride or die chick and that you don't give him ANY signs of leaving or breaking his heart, he will exhale. Someone that he really cared for in the past probably did him dirty and he's afraid. Just my two cents.