Leos and marriage

So, a guy posted on the cancer board - his leo gf broke up a 3.5 yr relationship with him. She said she loved him but was not in love with him. He later mentioned that they had talked about marriage, family, etc. and he got a ring and she knew about it. He mentioned in the post that he didn't think getting married was the problem. Although its clear they had difficulty in communicating (it seem she had more difficulty doing so than him), I began later wondering if marriage was a bigger problem for her than she let on to him.

But that got me thinking, that in 5 yrs with lioness, how is it marriage has never come up? Not once. Sure, I thought about it, but I personally never brought it up because - well it never seemed to be on her mind or agenda. So why trouble the waters.

All this got me wondering, are leos more cautious about committing to marriage? What would make you be willing to commit to marriage?

Any input would be much appreciated.

OK, so I'm an old Leo (45). AND, I'm air dominant (Libra), so take this with a grain of salt.

I like the IDEA of being married, but if push comes to shove, the reality sort of freaks me out. I've never been married but always thought I would be. Since I've been in a committed relationship for a long time, I can say that I love the comfort and security of commitment and unconditional love we share, but the, idk, loss of identity(?) and lack of freedom (or the idea of freedom) that comes with marriage just doesn't appeal to me.

I've thought quite a bit about it, and maybe it's because of who I'm with that I don't want to get married. I used to bug him a lot about it in the past, but really thinking it through, if he asked me I don't think I could say yes. But I can't imagine him not being in my life.

Maybe I'm just buggered, I don't know.

Double post. ^^^

"...are Leos more cautious about committing to marriage? What would make you be willing to commit to marriage?"

Personally I am cautious, but more cautious as opposed to what?
Hopefully most women in general and men also, are approaching marriage with some level of caution and concerns are ironed out before the rings are exchanged.
I have no idea what would make a random Leo woman commit to marriage... I have no idea what would make ME commit to marriage, I do rather imagine I would take some convincing.
I have never brought up marriage in relationships- most have been long term but I leave that to the gentleman caller.
Call it Feminine prerogative, a Leo woman's' specialty 😉

Posted by dontgetmewrong
Lol!! My ex proposed after a year and a half. He brought it up, completely blindsided me.

I could only think that perhaps she wasn't sure and was waiting for you to bring it up (some women are like that)..but then the whole cheating with the ex thing happened and obviously nixed that thought. Gotta work your way back up.

That would explain now, but not the last 5 years. She could also have just been focused on her career, and enjoyed being with you but marriage wasn't a priority then.

Although I'm asking this obviously with lioness in mind, not even before the cheating, when things were really REALLY good, never a mention of marriage. And like I said, I just don't think it's on her agenda or on her mind. So, I'm just trying to understand where she may be coming from regarding it and how you leos think about it in general.

She really is pretty independent. She may tolerate living together at some point - probably a long ways off... so maybe it's and independence, freedom thing.

I don't feel I need marriage with her to feel we're good. And like dontgetmewrong mentioned, I wouldn't even think about bringing it up anytime soon given where things are...but... 5 yrs is a long time for it not to have been mentioned - through all the romantic movies, love making, cuddle times, intimate talks, going to weddings, etc.... nada.

Posted by sultrykitty

Posted by dontgetmewrong
Lol!! My ex proposed after a year and a half. He brought it up, completely blindsided me.

I could only think that perhaps she wasn't sure and was waiting for you to bring it up (some women are like that)..but then the whole cheating with the ex thing happened and obviously nixed that thought. Gotta work your way back up.

That would explain now, but not the last 5 years. She could also have just been focused on her career, and enjoyed being with you but marriage wasn't a priority then.

click to expand

Yeah, she's definitely career oriented. It never bothered me, not that it's bothering me even now, but...the things that make you go...hmmmmm. I didn't know if it was a leo thing or not.

Posted by wagtail
"...are Leos more cautious about committing to marriage? What would make you be willing to commit to marriage?"

Personally I am cautious, but more cautious as opposed to what?
Hopefully most women in general and men also, are approaching marriage with some level of caution and concerns are ironed out before the rings are exchanged.
I have no idea what would make a random Leo woman commit to marriage... I have no idea what would make ME commit to marriage, I do rather imagine I would take some convincing.
I have never brought up marriage in relationships- most have been long term but I leave that to the gentleman caller.
Call it Feminine prerogative, a Leo woman's' specialty 😉

That's what I'm looking to get answered. What kind of convincing would you need to feel, yeah, I'm want to do this marriage thing with your SO?

Cautious in maybe not wanting to marry the wrong person, so tend to error on the side of not getting married vs. getting married. Like maybe instinctly you know that once you're in it, you're in it do or die, so you rather not than find yourself in a bad marriage. IDK,

Posted by sultrykitty
OK, so I'm an old Leo (45). AND, I'm air dominant (Libra), so take this with a grain of salt.

I like the IDEA of being married, but if push comes to shove, the reality sort of freaks me out. I've never been married but always thought I would be. Since I've been in a committed relationship for a long time, I can say that I love the comfort and security of commitment and unconditional love we share, but the, idk, loss of identity(?) and lack of freedom (or the idea of freedom) that comes with marriage just doesn't appeal to me.

I've thought quite a bit about it, and maybe it's because of who I'm with that I don't want to get married. I used to bug him a lot about it in the past, but really thinking it through, if he asked me I don't think I could say yes. But I can't imagine him not being in my life.

Maybe I'm just buggered, I don't know.

I feel this will be lioness and I. I'm kinda ok with it...now...but if I ever got the feeling she would be willing to commit to marriage, I would jump on it. 😄

Posted by JustALeo
I'm married and divorced twice...so no marriage doesn't scare. What scares me is if something that my partner/SO does/is doing that betrays me.

I am in love with love, I am not afraid to love or give my love, but in the end is the person on the other side deserving?

Very well said! Thx!

Posted by dontgetmewrong
I have a Leo girlfriend and my leo cousin never asked their husbands or had talks about marriages. They waited for them to bring it up. Completely ok with how things were going. Sometimes when things are going well, you just enjoy the times and go with it.

You didn't bring it up, maybe she thought that things will eventually happen, but not forcing it on you. Some leos don't really need marriage to validate a good, lasting relationship, as long as it is.

Well, we were really just enjoying each other. I guess that's the best place to be in a relationship - just enjoying one another. Thx!

I'm a cancer saturated Leo and a submissive.

My first Leo sun, Leo rising, Leo moon husband and Dominant swept me to the altar pretty fast with valid reasons - most of them concerning our lifestyle choice. We parted amicably for medical reasons.

With the Scorp though, he asked what he could do to make me feel secure. Then, he went away a while, came back and proposed. All in the space of 9 months or so.

I really thought he would be the one I grow oldwith.

So, twice, for being an emotionally committed submissive, I got married.

Very good question. Not sure if it's a leo thing or not. I dated my ex for 6 years and never once brought up marriage. I love the idea of love and marriage (based on what my idea of marriage is) I love stability and security and consistency. However, after 6 years I never brought it up (I wonder if he ever noticed?) He was always the one to bring it up but I also realized sometime in that I wouldn't want to marry and that could be why. The guy I'm dating now he has brought up marriage right away and when I think about him all I can think about is a future with him. He has all of those things that I mention to offer and that may be why. However I will also say I'm not gung ho over the entire charades of marriage the wedding and the other stuff but that has always been me.

Posted by 037
With the Scorp though, he asked what he could do to make me feel secure. Then, he went away a while, came back and proposed. All in the space of 9 months or so.

I really thought he would be the one I grow oldwith.

So, twice, for being an emotionally committed submissive, I got married.

Good approach! Thx!

Posted by MahoganyLeo
Very good question. Not sure if it's a leo thing or not. I dated my ex for 6 years and never once brought up marriage. I love the idea of love and marriage (based on what my idea of marriage is) I love stability and security and consistency. However, after 6 years I never brought it up (I wonder if he ever noticed?) He was always the one to bring it up but I also realized sometime in that I wouldn't want to marry and that could be why. The guy I'm dating now he has brought up marriage right away and when I think about him all I can think about is a future with him. He has all of those things that I mention to offer and that may be why. However I will also say I'm not gung ho over the entire charades of marriage the wedding and the other stuff but that has always been me.

6 yrs - so maybe it's not so strange - atleast for Leo's. LOL!! Thx!

@seraph, thx for the input!
I think what I sense in lioness is correct - it's just hasn't been on her mind or agenda up til now.

If her feelings change on the matter, I'll pick up on it for sure and proceed accordingly.

But being in a relationship where the woman never hinted in about marriage in some way? Well that's definitely a first! And in some ways, even freeing -cause there's no pressure. 😉

Posted by crabbycrab76
@seraph, thx for the input!
I think what I sense in lioness is correct - it's just hasn't been on her mind or agenda up til now.

If her feelings change on the matter, I'll pick up on it for sure and proceed accordingly.

But being in a relationship where the woman never hinted in about marriage in some way? Well that's definitely a first! And in some ways, even freeing -cause there's no pressure. 😉

Definitely. I will say I never grew up with marriage on my mind to be honest. Don't worry yourself too much

Posted by MahoganyLeo

Posted by crabbycrab76
@seraph, thx for the input!
I think what I sense in lioness is correct - it's just hasn't been on her mind or agenda up til now.

If her feelings change on the matter, I'll pick up on it for sure and proceed accordingly.

But being in a relationship where the woman never hinted in about marriage in some way? Well that's definitely a first! And in some ways, even freeing -cause there's no pressure. 😉

Definitely. I will say I never grew up with marriage on my mind to be honest. Don't worry yourself too much

click to expand

You leos are quite unique 🙂 But I was just wondering what was the deal, that's all.
@MahoganyLeo, let me know if you still want to see our charts and I will pm them to you.

Posted by kalin
I don't think my Leo sister brought up the marriage talk though. She was just happy and in love. She thought she was going to be with him for the rest of life anyways so there's no rush. He was a couple years older. Anyways, she was happy that he proposed. She cried when he proposed and during the wedding. It was touching.

That's a very interesting point! Like it doesn't really matter married or not to them because their committed to the relationship either way. 🙂 Thx!

The average Leo has had 2 marriages by 36.

Posted by LunarMaiden
The average Leo has had 2 marriages by 36.

Then I guess they're not marriage shy, huh? . Just not on the mind of some?? Wonder what the leo average age of the first marriage and the longevity of the first marriage.

Posted by Ssupes
Prob less than a year

Yikes!