Leos: How hard is it for you to let go?

I'm curious. I have known quite a few Leos and I'm starting to sense a pattern. Curious. How hard is it for you to let go of a relationship?

I have a really good Leo male friend who is still hung up on this girl he broke up with months ago. He and I give each other advice on relationships. But, I've witnessed this girl treat him badly, but he keeps begging for more. He lost his job, the SAME day, she broke up with him. Last straw. Was done with her, blah, blah, blah. Still, months later, he is still thinking about her. Wanting to contact her. Lays awake thinking about her. Asks me what to do. My Cap in me told him, she wasn't there for the bad times, why do you still want her? (she kicked him when he was down - unforgiveable in my book). Well, he just does, he said. Can't get over her. Finally, I said, then just contact her. She was responsive, but he knows its not going to work. I don't understand.

Now let me throw the wrench into it. We dated 25 years ago. He was my first love. I'm good with being friends with him. He's proven a good friend. Supported me and gave me advice during my divorce. Like I said, we give each other dating advice. I'm in love with my Aqua. I have never been jealous of his girlfriend. I don't see him like that anymore. Friends. BEST friends is all I see.

Okay, I'll admit, after the divorce I entertained the idea it would be cool if we hooked up after all these years. And I'll admit that I'd consider a reconsideration if he were interested. BUT, I realize we ARE NOT compatible. After hearing his whining about the girl, he's WAY too needy for me. He would drive me crazy. There is no way this cap can provide the attention he wants from a woman.

(I hate these long posts)

Remember, I love my Aqua. I see Leo as a friend.

(I hate these long posts)

My house is for sale because of the divorce. He said the house next to him is for rent. I said if my house sells, I'm going to rent and I'd be interested.

He said that would be cool, but he'd be jealous.

I'm like whoah!!!!!

I said I never thought you were into me like that. He said you're happy and I'm happy for you.

So, my question is Is it hard for a Leo to let go of past relationships. I know I admitted to some interest of reconsideration (this was before I met Aqua), but my Aqua trumps everything Leo and I had in the past. Its just caps respect the past and history, etc. Therefore, it's easy for cap to consider, analyze and give up on past relationships (with well thought out reason). In reality, it is a no.

It just floored me he said that. I'm thrown for a loop. No, I'm not actually considering a reconcilation.


Thanks for reading all this. I know I've made friends with several of you Leos and I am hoping for a good, unbiased, honest opinion and insight on this.

Sigh... gotta make another point....

Leo explained to me one time that women were like lions in a pride. A lion wants to keep that pride close and any other lion that tried to penetrate that pride would be met with another aggressive lion.

Is that all it is?

Posted by truecap
( Its just caps respect the past and history, etc. Therefore, it's easy for cap to consider, analyze and give up on past relationships (with well thought out reason). In reality, it is a no.

I am so sure that doesn't make sense to anyone but a cap. lol! I mean we like the past, respect history. We will consider and weight out pros and cons. And, after things are analyzed, we have a logical, calculated answer, which would be no, we are not compatible.

I suppose that is what he is feeling. So yall think it has to do with being a fixed sign?

Caps are so different, I just don't understand it at all. When we're done, we might still hurt, but we shut down the thought process. We analyze what and why it didn't work, take note, learn from it and that makes us feel better about a break up. Then we try not to give it any more thought. Sometimes those thoughts are replaced with anger, nostalgia, resentment or even fondness. Once we make sense of it, we move on pretty quickly. Maybe that's why we are accused of being so cold. ??

I try to understand and I listen, but I just didn't understand why he couldn't let go. Yall have given me some more insight and I appreciate it. Maybe I can be a better friend now.

Wow! I'm overwhelmed trying to grasp all this. You guys are amazing!

When yall say don't try to give that piece of heart back to you, what do you mean?

I understand the notion of staying friends. I usually try to stay friends with exes,but sometimes that's not possible. Just because the relationship didn't work out doesn't necessarily mean they are not a good person and I see that there is something about them that is likeable.

I think I understand, believe it or not.

I need to know if I said the proper thing to my Leo friend, please. He said he texted the ex gf yesterday and told me he shouldn't have that he was kicking himself for doing so because he was anxious now about whether or not she would text back. I asked him a few questions. He said he doesn't know why he can't let go, but he doesn't want a relationship with her anymore.

So I said: "See! You've already made a start getting over her because you just admitted you didn't want a relationship. So, (quoting yall), just let her have that piece of heart you gave her. Let her keep it. Meanwhile, be confident in yourself that you can get through this. What works for me is to focus on the negative things of the relationship, then I eventually feel a relief its over."

He responded "I think I'll try that. Thanks".

I don't know if I can help him, but with you guys explaining things, I feel I understand a little better the place he's in. Before, I'm thinking just get over it and move on. Now I feel bad about that attitude. Can see why so many are on the cap board saying we're cold/unfeeling/etc. We're not really that way, but we are too stoic for our own good. I really appreciate yalls help and honesty!

Posted by WoundedLeo
Totally what JSG said. That part of our heart was meant for the person to whom it was given. If the person tries to "give it back", it feels like a slap in the face. I can't explain it any better that. I can't even explain how we choose the part of the heart or how we give it. It just IS.

Very well said. Especially the part "give it back feels like a slap in the face".

Thanks yall! And WL, I don't mind the change. Thanks for the input on a better way to put it. Just glad I'm on the right track. He doesn't understand himself what he's going through and he knows his friends definitely don't. I truly love him platonically as a friend and he was defintely there for me many times when I needed someone to talk/whine to. I'm happy to return the favor!

Posted by truecap
I'm curious. I have known quite a few Leos and I'm starting to sense a pattern. Curious. How hard is it for you to let go of a relationship?

I have a really good Leo male friend who is still hung up on this girl he broke up with months ago. He and I give each other advice on relationships. But, I've witnessed this girl treat him badly, but he keeps begging for more. He lost his job, the SAME day, she broke up with him. Last straw. Was done with her, blah, blah, blah. Still, months later, he is still thinking about her. Wanting to contact her. Lays awake thinking about her. Asks me what to do. My Cap in me told him, she wasn't there for the bad times, why do you still want her? (she kicked him when he was down - unforgiveable in my book). Well, he just does, he said. Can't get over her. Finally, I said, then just contact her. She was responsive, but he knows its not going to work. I don't understand.

Now let me throw the wrench into it. We dated 25 years ago. He was my first love. I'm good with being friends with him. He's proven a good friend. Supported me and gave me advice during my divorce. Like I said, we give each other dating advice. I'm in love with my Aqua. I have never been jealous of his girlfriend. I don't see him like that anymore. Friends. BEST friends is all I see.

Okay, I'll admit, after the divorce I entertained the idea it would be cool if we hooked up after all these years. And I'll admit that I'd consider a reconsideration if he were interested. BUT, I realize we ARE NOT compatible. After hearing his whining about the girl, he's WAY too needy for me. He would drive me crazy. There is no way this cap can provide the attention he wants from a woman.

It's very hard for me to let go. I believe I have a problem. Even though I know that this Cancer that I've been fucking for the past couple months doesn't want a relationship with me, I still hold onto the possibilty of a relationship because of the signals he sends me. It's in a Leo's nature (male and female) to hold on everything and it takes us even longer to heal. Leo's are hopelessly in love romantics who can't get enough of love, love stories,and fairy tale fantasies that most likely will never happen. He'll get over it once he's tired of pining for unrequited love or he'll just find another person to pine after (which possibly could be you) BE CAREFUL

Uh oh. I didn't think about that....

Letting go?

sorry my fingers are busy clinging to every past relationship I ever had and I cant let go to type more. Ive been typing with my nose and its getting annoying.

:p