Libra Chameleon
@Libra Chameleon
17 YearsLibra
Comments: 0 · Posts: 42 · Topics: 3
Libra woman totally enamored by a Leo man
i think you need to give the guy a break. he's got alot going on. i would totally back off if i were you cos you're already sounding a little demanding when you barely know him. what he's going through is a big deal and his kids are the same ages as mine...and it's HARD!! he's not only got to deal with his marriage ending from his own point of view...but also from his kids' and it can prevent you from developing feelings for someone else altogether...there's just not enough time to be able to date someone when you have 2 teenage kids cos they might have their own issues with it.
so i would back off before he tells you to.
so i would back off before he tells you to.
ould re-read what I write BEFORE posting. Quite frankly, I came across as a bitch in my OP - thanks for not ripping me apart :-)
I might have come across as demanding based on what I typed but I actually came across as firm and no-nonsense. Believe me, since the 1st date we went on, it's been nothing but laughter between us. He is amazing. He's so strong. He's so handsome. He hits all the major things I want in a guy except he hasn't been good about setting proper expectations-his life is hectic right now so I totally give him a pass on that.
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i think you need to give the guy a break. he's got alot going on. i would totally back off if i were you cos you're already sounding a little demanding when you barely know him.
You're totally right when you say that he has a lot going on. But why chase someone if you know you can't handle a relationship? It's not like he's 20, he's almost 40. Tell me this, would you let someone get close to you if you couldn't handle a relationship? Or would you let them get close to you and THEN decide you can't handle it? C'mon, I didn't chase him, he chased me, for 4 months!
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
what he's going through is a big deal and his kids are the same ages as mine...and it's HARD!! he's not only got to deal with his marriage ending from his own point of view...but also from his kids' and it can prevent you from developing feelings for someone else altogether...there's just not enough time to be able to date someone when you have 2 teenage kids cos they might have their own issues with it.click to expand
He's a remarkable father and he is working through it all. He's so incredible with his kids. He's been open with me about everything. I've been supportive. One thing I've been pushing him to do is to have "me time." He spends so much time trying to be superman to everyone that he doesn't have time for himself. I agree with what you said about backing off anyway even though I don't think I'm being demanding.
Rig thx for answering; I would also love to hear your input on my questions in my OP...
Posted by Libra Chameleon
I don't intend on playing games & that I'm looking for something serious.
You can't say this and then decide that you are not going to be the one to initiate contact - this is YOUR game plan, therefore YOU are playing games. He is not, he is busy and has a lot on his plate, so what if there isn't a definite date night, your not teenagers - you can cope with randomness.
he sounds like a good, honest man who has pesonal baggage, who doesn't? - if you are as crazy about him as you say then give him a break, make contact and show him some attention and that you do actually care. I had this with a Libra too, you guys "think" you are being fair, but believe me if you could step back and see your own actions through anothers eye's you really aren't.
BTW as a Leo, i'll make contact, no problem there, if you start game playing and don't contact back I'll be Hurt (pride) and eventually Bored (Fun), with the whole thing and once that sets in I'll be gone - for...ever... I'm also about justice as I think many Leo's are (which is different to fair) and if I see what you are doing is unjust then there will be no forgiveness.
Posted by Libra Chameleon
So I realize the answer to issues is not always in the zodiac. I do believe it does help to know how that person is based on their chart.
Questions:
1. The lack of action leads me to believe he's not interested, but the openness leads me to believe he is. Is this how Leo's operate?
2. Leos, when your interest disappears on you, do you chase more or run away?
3. Leos, if you dirty talk with someone, but no action happens (other than kissing) do you perceive them as easy?
Him — LEO sun, SCORPIO rising, SAG moon, LEO merc, CANCER venus, VIRGO mars
Me — LIBRA sun, SCORPIO rising, LIBRA moon, VIRGO merc, venus & mars
PS. Can I blame venus retrograde? 😄
Thanks!
So to answer your questions 🙂
1. lack of action does not mean he is not interested, he is going through divorce, raising kids, living within his means and doing for other people (and yes I tend to do that and don't tend to ask for help with my own problems, should learn to swallow my pride), he is a man first and foremost and they do not tend to plunge headfirst into relationships, they don't future forward in the way that we women do(unless they are players) and take things day by day. You are looking to far forward instead of allowing this to develop in its own time - and its own time is going to be very slow as he has a lot of stuff going on. He needs a caring friend now - and that friend could also be a lover, when he has time and has developed feelings for you believe me you will see your lion come out of his den.
2. Men like to chase, but they like to chase soemthing that wishes to be caught. Personally if I met someone I like and express interest which isn't reciprocated then i'll be sad etc. but will move on knowing the sadness will eventually go.
3. can't say from a man's perspective, but my own thoughts - dirty talk is for established relationships, not new ones, and especially not ones that have only gotten to the kissing stage - yeah, then he's a man whore if he starts dirty talk - he's dirty in the wrong way.
Libra and Leo, good together, very nice, fun, intellectual relationship.
Posted by Libra Chameleon
You're totally right when you say that he has a lot going on. But why chase someone if you know you can't handle a relationship? It's not like he's 20, he's almost 40. Tell me this, would you let someone get close to you if you couldn't handle a relationship? Or would you let them get close to you and THEN decide you can't handle it? C'mon, I didn't chase him, he chased me, for 4 months!
Who says he can't handle a relationship? He's only starting out on dating - you're putting a womans thoughts onto a mans head. And he is almost 40 - he's well aware that things don't always work out in relationships, but you have to date and get to know people before you find that out - and as a Leo he is not afraid to do this. Why can't you just date him and not start calling it a relationship?
Posted by celticlioness
You can't say this and then decide that you are not going to be the one to initiate contact - this is YOUR game plan, therefore YOU are playing games. He is not, he is busy and has a lot on his plate, so what if there isn't a definite date night, your not teenagers - you can cope with randomness.
I feel like I have to come up with a game plan--I just like him and I don't want to wreck the chance of being too needy or looking too foolish. Call me immature or odd, but I don't date well. I know people, but I don't undersand dating. I know sex and I know relationships. But dating I don't do that well. Probably because I can't control all aspects of it. Ahhh I'm so awkwarddd!
So far I'm glad I posted this... not only I get astro advice, but dating advice too. Win!
Posted by Libra ChameleonPosted by celticlioness
You can't say this and then decide that you are not going to be the one to initiate contact - this is YOUR game plan, therefore YOU are playing games. He is not, he is busy and has a lot on his plate, so what if there isn't a definite date night, your not teenagers - you can cope with randomness.
I feel like I have to come up with a game plan--I just like him and I don't want to wreck the chance of being too needy or looking too foolish. Call me immature or odd, but I don't date well. I know people, but I don't undersand dating. I know sex and I know relationships. But dating I don't do that well. Probably because I can't control all aspects of it. Ahhh I'm so awkwarddd!
So far I'm glad I posted this... not only I get astro advice, but dating advice too. Win!click to expand
Why can't you just come up with a game plan that means you relax and enjoy getting to know him slowly. If you are thinking too much about it and how you appear and look this will come out in your interactions with him, he will smell it 🙂 the fear. Just try to accept you have met a man who has a lot of other things going on in his life and he needs to work through them, and around them to see you, it would be nice for him and for you to have each other to look forward to to take away those other stresses. At this stage it doesn't sound like he has the time to offer you "steady" dates etc. so enjoy the time you do have with him and don't deliver to him over emotional rules based on some game plan you have. As i said, Leo and Libra are good together.
yeah...gameplans are crap per se. you MUST behave naturally, even if it comes over as needy to him cos you're being true to yourself. the thing about playing games is that you're not being you and doing what your gut tells you to and so you're not being honest with the other party about who you are. how can you base a relationship on a forced persona?
so really what i'm saying is that any advice that's given here is just that and you have to make your own mind up what your gut tells you.
my leo....well, not quite mine yet...sent me an email shortly after his birthday saying that he always felt really depressed around his birthday and that he would see me on the other side of his head fuck. it turned out to be a red herring cos actually, he was getting back with his ex but the point is, i replied that i respected that and that he knew where i was if he needed me and i remember writing...'i doubt i'll find anyone as great as you in the short term' and i meant it.
and then i left it for him to contact me, which he did two weeks later.
you have to give people room to be themselves and concentrate your efforts on being you. long term relationships can take forever to make it off the ground so there's no hurry. be patient with him and remain consistently there to support him when he needs it. respond to his contact or if it's been a while, initiate it yourself but just in a hi, how are you type way...nothing deep or heavy.
you get in his face and on his case now and he'll back off for good. i know exactly how much he has on his shoulders cos it's my life too and the last thing i want to hear...and i hear it alot from people i'm sposed to be 'dating'...is that i'm wrong to put my kids first...that i'm denying them my time in favour of my kids like it's a crime. that i owe myself 'me time' when i'm lucky if i get enough time to use the bathroom. i tell you one thing....it sorts out the wheat from the chaff very quickly.
so really what i'm saying is that any advice that's given here is just that and you have to make your own mind up what your gut tells you.
my leo....well, not quite mine yet...sent me an email shortly after his birthday saying that he always felt really depressed around his birthday and that he would see me on the other side of his head fuck. it turned out to be a red herring cos actually, he was getting back with his ex but the point is, i replied that i respected that and that he knew where i was if he needed me and i remember writing...'i doubt i'll find anyone as great as you in the short term' and i meant it.
and then i left it for him to contact me, which he did two weeks later.
you have to give people room to be themselves and concentrate your efforts on being you. long term relationships can take forever to make it off the ground so there's no hurry. be patient with him and remain consistently there to support him when he needs it. respond to his contact or if it's been a while, initiate it yourself but just in a hi, how are you type way...nothing deep or heavy.
you get in his face and on his case now and he'll back off for good. i know exactly how much he has on his shoulders cos it's my life too and the last thing i want to hear...and i hear it alot from people i'm sposed to be 'dating'...is that i'm wrong to put my kids first...that i'm denying them my time in favour of my kids like it's a crime. that i owe myself 'me time' when i'm lucky if i get enough time to use the bathroom. i tell you one thing....it sorts out the wheat from the chaff very quickly.
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yeah...gameplans are crap per se. you MUST behave naturally, even if it comes over as needy to him cos you're being true to yourself. the thing about playing games is that you're not being you and doing what your gut tells you to and so you're not being honest with the other party about who you are. how can you base a relationship on a forced persona?
Absolutely, no games - so take that game plan out of your head, be yourself, interact with him how and the way you are feeling in that moment, with no ulterior moment. A real man will be able to handle this, if its one thing I learned from my pisces and virgo ex and scorpio friend, actual men can handle it 🙂 So if you want to initiate then do, throw away that rule book, if he can't handle it then he's not man enough for you - just be you.
no ulterior moment? Motive obviously 😉
Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i know exactly how much he has on his shoulders cos it's my life too and the last thing i want to hear...and i hear it alot from people i'm sposed to be 'dating'...is that i'm wrong to put my kids first...that i'm denying them my time in favour of my kids like it's a crime. that i owe myself 'me time' when i'm lucky if i get enough time to use the bathroom. i tell you one thing....it sorts out the wheat from the chaff very quickly.
This too, don't tell someone who has kids to have "me time" - its patronising. From a Leo perspective, I don't need "me time", I need to be doing for others, it makes me feel so good.
I saw yes to blame it on the retrograde. Its currently messing with my mind and that of the leos here I know. I cannot wait till its over!!!!
Hey... so thank you to you guys for knocking me down a couple of notches... (take that lightly... I wasn't mad at your guys, I really appreciate the bluntness).
I was freaking out unnecessarily. It has been going well between us. Just slower than normal, but it's building. And that's what's important.
Honestly, I still sometimes get bummed when we can't hang out. But I always eventually get over it.
Most importantly, he did kinda reassure me that he wants to build up towards something, even though he's got a lot going on. He's just a type of person that doesn't really say what he's thinking. And (stupidly) I figured he's a Leo and so that he's a man that will show and tell his emotions. So when he wasn't doing that, I was freaking out, hence my original post.
Now he jokes about it, along with other flaws that I have. I figure as long as I keep it in check, he wont be too pissed...
Thanks again!
I was freaking out unnecessarily. It has been going well between us. Just slower than normal, but it's building. And that's what's important.
Honestly, I still sometimes get bummed when we can't hang out. But I always eventually get over it.
Most importantly, he did kinda reassure me that he wants to build up towards something, even though he's got a lot going on. He's just a type of person that doesn't really say what he's thinking. And (stupidly) I figured he's a Leo and so that he's a man that will show and tell his emotions. So when he wasn't doing that, I was freaking out, hence my original post.
Now he jokes about it, along with other flaws that I have. I figure as long as I keep it in check, he wont be too pissed...
Thanks again!
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So I realize the answer to issues is not always in the zodiac. I do believe it does help to know how that person is based on their chart.
Questions:
1. The lack of action leads me to believe he's not interested, but the openness leads me to believe he is. Is this how Leo's operate?
2. Leos, when your interest disappears on you, do you chase more or run away?
3. Leos, if you dirty talk with someone, but no action happens (other than kissing) do you perceive them as easy?
Him — LEO sun, SCORPIO rising, SAG moon, LEO merc, CANCER venus, VIRGO mars
Me — LIBRA sun, SCORPIO rising, LIBRA moon, VIRGO merc, venus & mars
PS. Can I blame venus retrograde? 😄
Thanks!