Relationships---Just Venting

I'm amazed by some of the things I've read on dxpnet, regarding men, women, cheating and relationships. It's pretty sad that by reading these posts, I understand why more and more people are remaining single and/or are having "open" relationships. That's just MIND BLOWING to me. I'm not a traditionalist, I'm only 25yrs., and I understand that we are all human and monogamy is an unnatural occurrence...but I am becoming more and more positive that this way of thinking allows us to make excuses for ourselves, and the fact that we (UNFORTUNATELY) are unable to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions...are we really sooo lazy to turn down true relating?

I have cheated, once, and I will continue to beat myself up for it. The fact that I've cheated haunts me in every one of my relationships to this very day. Of course, I tell myself not to be too self critical, for I am only human. But when I'm honest w/ myslef...YES, I'am human which is why my ex forgave me and still talks to me today...but, I also broke the heart of someone EXTREMELY special in my life, and I will always be shameful...he didn't deserve that. It's one thing to play the field, date around and be upfront about it. It's another to say you are committed to someone, but still have "relations," w/ other people, i.e., sexual, flirty, or anything that would be disrespctful to your partner.

To those of you who follow the latter trend in your relationships...GOOD LUCK! That fear of spending your life w/ only one person is what will prevent you from ever truly knowing what it's like to not only love someone, but to have that someone truly love you, back...and I mean the way a Man loves a Woman. It's funny to hear men say that they don't care if their wife hangs out w/ other guys...or women say that their man can flirt, but at least he's coming back home to me...That is UTTER SHIZNAT! As humans, we are also territorial...and there's nothing wrong w/ feeling like your man/wo-man is yours and no one elses! Yes, as Humans, we are free to roam...but you know what, if you've pledged committment to someone...roam w/ tact and respect...don't do to your partner what you wouldn't want done to yourselves...

Those who disagree w/ me, that's fine, and I welcome all responses. But I'am conviced that those who do not agree have a low sense of respect for themselves (no matter how much you want to preach about how happy you are!)--BYE :-)

Feel much better, roni...hahahaha!

(scratching head)

... ever get the feeling you missed something?

Why the vent?

Aww...no...I really am just venting LOL! It's just distrubing to me that people are fine w/ being in open relationships...w/ the ideas of not truly committing yourself. I couldn't imagine being in a relatinship w/ someone who can't committ to me, myself and I. I was reading a post on here a couple of days ago, and it talked about cheating and stuff. The person was fine that her boyfriend cheated, and they both agreed to having an open relationships, w/ certain guidelines...I don't get it!

I understand that mongony is something of the past (it seems like, anyway), and I think it's shameful, you know? We don't have respect for ourselves to know that we are worth the best, as good people w/ good intentions...we shouldn't feel like we are not enough, and we shouldn't feel like we have to be shared, you know? I got this one chick cussing me out left and right on the aries board...she's bussin on Leos, too...care to engage?!?!

K...that's all!

yeah. I saw that. @@

I'm not busting you out, truthseeker, or cussing at you. "why" would you say that?

** The person was fine that her boyfriend cheated, and they both agreed to having an open relationships, w/ certain guidelines...I don't get it!

I do get it. People have different needs. Her need for sexual commitment might be low but he provides for her safety or status needs which are higher. It is a trade off.

** I understand that monogamy is something of the past

I don't believe monogamy is dead. Not at all. I believe now we have options to find the right fit for each of us as individuals. If we all accepted each other with compassion and understanding, would the world be a better place?

One thing about your original post stood out to me ... You see the thing is we never own anyone. Ever. The only person we own is ourself. "We are just all out on loan." And that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

So, I'm taking this to mean that you can have opinions, such as, "I think it's shameful, yet, if someone else discusses something with you that isn't how you feel, then you would go to another person who isn't involved and attempt to pit one person against another?

Is that the reason why you would say such a thing? To slant another's perspective of another person who isn't involved? Wow, that's using bullying tactics and very unbecoming for an adult.

*** I don't believe monogamy is dead. Not at all.

To expand on my point, I actually believe monogamy can truly come alive now because people who do not want monogamous relationship can finally be honest about it. Those who really do want monogamous relationship can hopefully pair up with someone who makes the commitment to the commitment. know what I mean?

Actually, cheating will still happen because cheating is an addiction to being bad and usually, serial cheaters, is far more complex behavior that I won't get into. The odd slip ups may still happen but I would like to believe people make a commitment to who they want to be if not the relationship itself. And if they commit to being monogamous they honour that vision of themselves.

But there should be some lessoning of cheating because people who know that they won't and can't can find partners for whom this is acceptable.

the libra will sit down and stop arguing both sides now. lol!

I get you LS...especially your last post. And yes, I'm the epitamy of "being out on loan" to my BF...I agree that no one ever owns anyone, and that's not what I meant. What I meant is that I should have no qualms about referring to my partner, whom I am committed to physically, emotionally and mentally, as being MY partner. That's what I mean. Yes, he is still his own person w/ his own life and dreams and desires (wouldn't want it any other way), but he is in a relationship w/ me and no one else. If he chooses to be plutonic, that fine, too, but not w/ me cuz that is not a desire of mine...does this all make sense?

As for you P...notice that no one has mentioned anything about my post to "gang-up"...I was being facetious...we leo's don't take ourselves, nor anyone else all that serious. The reason why I say and feel like you are attacking me is because instead of giving me your opinion on the topic, you are trying to psycho-analyze me...that's fine in and of itself...but it doesn't lead to much conversing, and comes off as a personal attack.

You may be only questioning how, why is this, what's this, and etc. (the trademarks of a true "truthseeker") But you don't know me either, thus, your assumptions of where I'm coming from were all wrong, resulting in a defensive demeanor which might actually stem from your own issues...does that make sense? (maybe I'm psycho-analyzing!)

Ciao Ciao

truthseeker, I feel ya.