Strong VS Submissive

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raptor22
@raptor22
17 Years

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Okay I am a little confused again, spoke to my leo a few days ago who I am casual dating spoke about us etc. I advised him that I felt he wasnt really giving me the chance to get to know me and isnt giving me the chance to get to know him to see if there is potential between us and how i wasnt waiting around forever to find out. I'm allowed to be selective also on who I date. Well much to my surprise he advised me that he was really into me until I rejected him.I dont ever recall rejecting him and I apologized to him for giving him that impression etc. What he said next dumb founded me as he said " I am not sure if your ready to commit as you couldnt be submissive in a relationship" I advised that I could be submissive and will be once I find that right one. My leo guy knows that i like him and I'm always telling him how great of a leader he is how his leadership qualities is what i am looking for in a guy blaw blaw blaw. However he says he is attracted to me because I am so strong; i am on the cusp of Aqu/ Pisces. My question is what can I do (My approach) show I am strong yet that I can be submissive. I met this Leo Aug 1 he reassures me that if he wasnt interested in me he wouldn't keep me around. I want to keep this guy around but I also want him to try to get to know me on a more personal level. We went from speaking once every two days to now speaking once or twice a week. Was seeing him once a week now I havnt seen him in 6 weeks. I havent mention his disappearing act as i like my freedom also and i dont mind his pulling away I just want him to give me a chance to get to know me before he makes a decision to leave or stay.
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LeoAqua
@LeoAqua
17 Years500+ Posts

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Perhaps he never meant it quite like that....what he probably meant was that you'd find it had to allow him to lead at times. Perhaps he sees you as very strong in personality and wonders if you'd ever allow him to play the part of "man"....if it bugged you ask him to elaborate—
He could've meant a few things but I'm pretty sure that when a guy's spading a girl he ain't gonna tell her he wants her to be submissive— Surely?
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enfant_terrible
@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Comments: 1470 · Posts: 13777 · Topics: 204
@raptor22: "My question is what can I do (My approach) show I am strong yet that I can be submissive."

To quote Ned Flanders - that's a noodle-scratcher! I'm a Leo myself, and I also like my women submissive. However, that does not mean "step all over me, I'm all yours". (a) Be independent, but be sure to be sneaky about it. Let him be the alpha-male and show him you rely on him emotionally, never dismiss him, don't come off too hard, keep it cool.

When he says that he is attracted to your strenght, I'm pretty sure it's your (b) Aqua/Pisces nature. Women born in these signs tend to be somewhat aloof, which can easily be taken for strenght, especially by a Leo who always needs to express himself in order to show his strenght.

Now if you can be both a) and b) then you are both independent and strong, the way he wants you.
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a muse a libra
@a muse a libra
18 Years500+ Posts

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Yeah, I get that submissive part. I'm sure he didn't mean it the way it sounds...

My leo guy told me he loved my personality the first day we met because I was a strong woman, I didn't take any crap and held my ground. But just the other night he confessed that he found me a bit intimidating, not that he was scared of me, but that I came on kinda strong. The most true words I think a guy has ever said to me. There is a balance I think the Leo looks for. They need a Queen at their arm...a strong, but feminie woman to help him rule his world..lol

I think you should just let things progress as they will, he's basically told you you're coming on too strong so he's backed off. Let him do the chasing. If you don't have contact for some time, let it be that way. Then, in a while (a couple months) send him a funny text or note, just to remind him of you...
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raptor22
@raptor22
17 Years

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when my Leo and I first went on a date he came onto me soooo strongly (he's a cop) so the guy is strong I literally pushed him against his car and twisted his arm until he was on one knee and told him to lay off me as NO ONE touches me on a first date cop or no cop. Us Canadian country girls lol, anyways he turned around with some funky cop/ military maneuver and had me pinned to his car as he whispered in my ear now escape we ended up play fighting for over an hr which intensified the attraction between us immensely go figure but he called me the next day to advise me that; that was he best date ever. But I quickly realised when I would submit not in a weak way that really i was the one in control. My point is Leo Kitten just because you submit doesn't mean your not in control. I was allowing my Leo to take charge by allowing him to think I couldn't get out of his cop/military maneuvers ( I was submitting) however I was in control the whole time. Does that make any sense
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missmorals
@missmorals
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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I wouldn't worry too much about what he thinks of you, as far as I am concerned, if I am talking, meeting and flirting with a guy, I have a right to know why he disappeared for 6 weeks..that is a long absence..By not saying anything you are setting yourself up to be treated this way should anything serious develop with this dude.

I know you are busy..but at the end of the day, he is still in your thoughts. If he thinks about you in the same way, then theres nothing that should've kept him from picking up the phone. I just do not believe anyone who uses the excuse, I was too busy to call..I am sorry, but how long does it take to pick up the phone or even text?!

He's in a job that kinda demands his time etc..but yes even cops get some time!..
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tamara
@tamara
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 71 · Posts: 2672 · Topics: 56
i believe what he was trying to tell you was that he feels you are overbearing and he wants a break from that. he has a high-stress job and at the end of his shift, he doesn't want to spend time with more high drama and demands.

i not saying this to be mean. several weeks back, you posted your text to him when he didn't show up at your place. that text seemed very bitter. if someone i just started dating sent me a text like that, i would be running for the hills!

"My question is what can I do (My approach) show I am strong yet that I can be submissive."

let him make his own decision whether he wants to get to know you. your only "approach" should be to be yourself. if you can't do that, then you are not being true to yourself.

tiki gave you some excellent advise a few weeks ago.