Advice request from Libra Men please - is he indifferent/gone/hanging on??!!

I have been in a relationship with a Libra guy properly since December (we chatted on PM since October)..... great to start with, really overwhelmed us both. I am a Pisces. We were very vocal about how happy we were to meet each other.

Down the line a little, I saw a message from a plutonic girlfriend where he made a sexually suggestive remark and I overreacted. She was telling him how sick she was and he replied to say that he would 'help her get her juices going'!! He was upset as I admit I ambushed him with this news and I asked him to leave my house. She does not even live in the same country! This I believe has turned our relationship on a downturn because I then got a little wary and crawled back in my shell. He was still vocal, telling me how much he liked me and it would be ok, but I admit I doubted him. I don't now believe I needed to to large extent, he was always calling every night, if I didn't pick up a PM then he would call me at work to see if I was ok. We had our routine.

To keep it short..... I called things to a halt, and only then did he reveal his thoughts, even though I had asked him to try and communicate with me because I knew something was wrong. He says I tend to magnify things too much (I would agree in some situations, such as the one above, yes I do!) and he was starting to find it irritating. I said well thanks for being honest. He wanted to call me later that night as he needed to sleep (I get it!). He messaged me but I didn't respond. He followed up with me the next day to ask why no reply... I just told him I really had nothing else to say and really didn't know what he had to say at that point. I was past communicating at this point.

I had sensed a change in our dynamic before this anyway.... phone calls were shorter..... he seemed to snap at some things I said and was downright rude at times I felt..... I took some time out and then a couple of conversations later I called it a day.

We are still in touch, I sense he wants that as he still instigates it as I do at times. I have told him I missed him and was thinking about him.... his response was 'Sundays are certainly not the same' (we see each other once a week due to distance). Obviously he does not feel able to say anything else (he used to tell me all the time that I was missed), and I can't blame him for that.

My confusion..... even though I could tell he was getting irritable, and he can be like that, quite moody and blunt at times, he was always in touch without fail. Libras have a habit of hanging on so I understand, even when they are unhappy..... perhaps he also keeping me there for whatever reasons he has... he can be quite spiteful I feel so perhaps he is plotting his revenge?! Libras are known for this also no?

I really like this guy I just felt so frustrated by his lack of communication about his irritations (NOT you he says, just some of the things I have said and done.... then that is ME isn't it?!), that I have ended something perhaps prematurely without pacing myself.... patience is key with a Libra I know..... but if I don't know what I am doing wrong then how can I fix it or work on it?! We were so very nice together and I know that he is a good person, but I don't want to keep this 'chat' going where there is nothing I am getting to say he is still with me and I could try and work on it more.

Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated. Have come to a roadblock in my Pisces thoughts and kind of clutching at straws as to what to do.... leave him completely alone, but I would feel bad by not replying to his messages,... I want to reply!

Have you tried telling him how you feel?

I have no idea what is going on with this dxpnet site.... it won't recognise my original login.... so I have now created a third one!!

Thanks for responding @VampScorp......

Of course I tried in my own way! I got into his head a little I guess, but all I got was either silence and eventually anger.... Libras are very quietly judgemental, constantly assessing with their calculated questions (well that;s what I found)... meaning that you really have no chance to either correct something that they may not have liked.

Admittedly I have not told him how I feel about him for a while.... I am Pisces and we love to show how much we care and I have done and said various things to make him feel special. But things dried up and I got nothing from him so I stopped too. He would not communicate with me so I closed myself off a bit although I continued to make an effort. I just feel his effort became more mundane as it were, no feeling there from him.

I want to sit down with him and talk, he is amenable with calm words I know, but I don't want to do that to him because I ended things.... and knowing him, his pride and spite side would show!

Yeah lack of communication is #1 enemy of any kind of relationships. And libras let's be honest suck balls with that. Been there, done. What can I say, It will kill you slowly dear and he's gonna pull away even further. I can tell you are very much into him, just like I was. You remind me of myself and that's quit sad to talk about. Someone said that you should open up to him, but I don't think it's gonna help, better it didn't help me and I scared him away I guess. I can't give you any advice, telling that you gotta dump him would be torture for you i think, so I don't know, give time and space then. I did the same but never heard from him again. Hugs dear

You rejected him several times, what would you expect? Libras don't take rejection easily, I simply don't insist in that particular matter anymore and move on. We don't like moody or impulsive people, push and pull is not acceptable unless it is well justified. And in this case it is not. He even explained to you what he felt, but you chose not to answer. It's like being slapped in the face and then simply to turn the other cheek. It doesn't happen.

And who said Libras are not good communicators I really doubt it. Yes, we check regularly on the persons we like, but we are not clingy. If we feel you are not comfortable, we adjust. You are more important than our personal needs. Vengeful? No, unless you really hurt us, which is not the case here.

Irritations? Yes, it's you and he told you that. Pisces are known to inflate simple things and make a tragedy out of them because of their high sensitivity and insecurity. We like natural things and simple truths. And we run away from useless fights. You showed him the door after only 2-3 months of dating, if I am not mistaken. Who can take this easily? You barely know each other at this point. This kind of behavior can repeat in the future and a rocky relationship is not something for us.

Posted by compy
You rejected him several times, what would you expect? Libras don't take rejection easily, I simply don't insist in that particular matter anymore and move on. We don't like moody or impulsive people, push and pull is not acceptable unless it is well justified. And in this case it is not. He even explained to you what he felt, but you chose not to answer. It's like being slapped in the face and then simply to turn the other cheek. It doesn't happen.

And who said Libras are not good communicators I really doubt it. Yes, we check regularly on the persons we like, but we are not clingy. If we feel you are not comfortable, we adjust. You are more important than our personal needs. Vengeful? No, unless you really hurt us, which is not the case here.

Irritations? Yes, it's you and he told you that. Pisces are known to inflate simple things and make a tragedy out of them because of their high sensitivity and insecurity. We like natural things and simple truths. And we run away from useless fights. You showed him the door after only 2-3 months of dating, if I am not mistaken. Who can take this easily? You barely know each other at this point. This kind of behavior can repeat in the future and a rocky relationship is not something for us.

I agree here.

I'm talking to a Pisces and a Libra guy right now so I guess I can speak from both sides. Hehe



The Pisces is like you. He's explosive over minor problems and sometimes forgets to communicate. Maybe it doesn't seem superficial to you, but I promise if you try to express yourself collectedly then he would respond better. I try to calm down whoever is angry with me and talk about the issue but I refuse to engage in aggressive arguments. No yelling, name calling, kicking people out, whatever. This Pisces guy is one of the few people that can overwhelm me enough to make me want to leave. Actually, today, he told me that one of the things he likes about me is my ability to talk and communicate. I guess it depends on the amount of patience the dude has.

The Libra guy very rarely makes me upset but I've annoyed him a few times. He goes silent for a little but I think that's expected. Neither of us are very clingy with each other and it feels truly balanced. It seems like libras don't like to suffocate their partners unless it's an unhealthy relationship.



I would give him some space and time. When you feel like you've given enough then try to apologize and actually change your behavior. I personally can't deal with intense emotions and I doubt another Libra could.

You said you doubted him, you dumped him and now you want him back. On top youre upset you cant get him back when you want(if i got it right).You now think he left to lick his wounds because you feel empowered after leading the break up.With his attitude he is trying to tell you that you got this relationship wrong from the beginning. Something you may not know is the fact that Libra men disappear so often not because they dont know what they want. Its because they know exactly what they dont want in a woman or relationship(if it makes sense). Dont forget about his side that can master relationships(smoothly). Clearly not the relationship he wanted. You gave him 1000 reasons to leave in just few months. And who cares if he is going to text you again or talk sweet to you again (believe me its possible). Still wont change things here. Also still sure breaking up was your idea? Think about it.

Libra man here-all the best pisces woman(my mum is Pisces thats why your post impressed me!).

Just click save password button before login. Hope it helps and you stay.

I wanna know more about you and libra and how things work for both of you.

Good luck, my heart goes out to you

Posted by compy
You rejected him several times, what would you expect? Libras don't take rejection easily, I simply don't insist in that particular matter anymore and move on. We don't like moody or impulsive people, push and pull is not acceptable unless it is well justified. And in this case it is not. He even explained to you what he felt, but you chose not to answer. It's like being slapped in the face and then simply to turn the other cheek. It doesn't happen.

And who said Libras are not good communicators I really doubt it. Yes, we check regularly on the persons we like, but we are not clingy. If we feel you are not comfortable, we adjust. You are more important than our personal needs. Vengeful? No, unless you really hurt us, which is not the case here.

Irritations? Yes, it's you and he told you that. Pisces are known to inflate simple things and make a tragedy out of them because of their high sensitivity and insecurity. We like natural things and simple truths. And we run away from useless fights. You showed him the door after only 2-3 months of dating, if I am not mistaken. Who can take this easily? You barely know each other at this point. This kind of behavior can repeat in the future and a rocky relationship is not something for us.

Did I read the same post? Completely missed the point were she rejected him. Hmmm OP ignore my advice!

Pisces, your Libra man is less distant than you said on your first message. Dont know if its because we are helping you or because you've already taken action. The fact he still talks to you on daily basis is a good sign. Calm approach is what you need now. Show him you want to get over what happened more than openly questioning how he feels. You dont wanna know how he feels. This is why is running from you. Because you are chasing him emotionally. Make sure his not only polite when he talks to you otherwise you've lost the game.

Read between the lines. Dont think about how he deals with emotions. He doesnt want you to go there.

Libra man

PS next advice ill ask you 5£

Op, you sound quite controlling.

Just saying.

Posted by Pisces_Are_Sweet
@jeanne really??!!

I have been told before that I appear quite naive and can be easily led!!

You have bought about thoughts on his quite controlling nature now. Me and him both smoke, he said to switch to roll ups, I've done that. He said to take Vitamin C tablets daily, I do that. He says I eat like a mouse, buckle up, look after yourself better, I am doing so. All good and sound advice, but some might call that attempting to control someone maybe? I got told I should make sure my phone is charged evening times because 'you know I am going to be calling you'.

No sorry I would dispute your comment there. You won't find me wanting to control his every move needing to know what he is doing and where he is all the time. I have respect for someone's space, time and need for independence.

You're entitled to disagree. I'm happy to stand by my observation.

5£ please

All the best

Posted by jeane
Op, you sound quite controlling.

Just saying.

You do sound controlling.

"He says I tend to magnify things too much (I would agree in some situations, such as the one above, yes I do!) and he was starting to find it irritating. " I am not trying to sound mean, but It's very difficult dealing with people who blow things out of proportion because 1) people have to walk on eggshells 2) and they make unpleasant company.

If you get help, you have a chance, otherwise unless the Libra has mental issues, most guys would leave you alone.

Posted by Pisces_Are_Sweet
Well we had a good conversation ? Which hopefully led to a better understanding of each other. He is a great communicator when he wants to be when it's done in a calm and reasoned fashion. He grunts a lot when he's listening! From my side slow down, think less from an emotion standpoint when necessary and stop with the magnifying of a problem. I am sure he took some of my points on board too.

No pressure on either of us, he understands his part and I understand mine in kind of ruining things a bit. We will keep in touch for sure and I suspect see each other again too.

Thanks to those for their advice and opinions, all taken on board!! Perhaps it is good to 'control' things at times. Especially when you feel there is something worth working for, and I haven't done that too many times in relationships ?

It sounds like the Libra made peace before exiting. As a Libra man, I love peaceful and laid-back women. Usually we will make a date with a woman we like before getting off the phone if we were moving forward. But yes if you are continuing to communicate then there is something about you he likes, but if you two aren't seeing each other face to face then he isn't moving forward towards commitment. We will not tolerate long absences from 'that one'! Two weeks - and that is very generous - maximum. So if I were you, I would enroll in an anger management course, or get professional help. If you haven't changed by 46, you won't change by yourself. Otherwise considered your days with the Libra numbered.

He's not into you anymore and is keeping you around as an option until something better comes along.

Posted by Pisces_Are_Sweet
Sorry plus on top of that the most important advice from people seems to be to leave the Libra be..... give them time and space to process, balance and whatever else they need to do.......

This is the usual advice from people who coddle and want you to stick it out for moronic reasons.

The biggest red flag was him distancing himself in phone convos and making inappropriate comments to his other female friend.

The phone thing is a tell that he's losing interest. The flirting around with the chick is him keeping options. Immature Libra dudes tend to do this because they always want to have a plan B in case plan A they're hanging on to fails like they expect it to.

The fact that you're both 40 is also concerning. I read the OP and you sounded as if you were in your 20s.

If this is how he's behaving at 40, he's not changing. This shit you're seeing now is who you get. You obviously don't like it, so write this off as lesson learned and move on. Life's too short for guys like this dear.

"My reason for magnifying something was soley based on seeing sexually suggestive comments which made me doubt his sincerity about us......" But earlier you wrote...

"He says I tend to magnify things too much (I would agree in some situations, such as the one above, yes I do!) and he was starting to find it irritating" You sound like you are contradicting yourself. It wasn't a one-time offense as you tried to make it out to be. This issue is ongoing.

Another contradiction;.

"Also why would anyone be moving to commitment in a relationship after 3 months....."

Exactly therefore he has the right to make sexually suggestive comments to anyone he wants as a single, un-married man. He is not your husband, he didn't take a vow of fidelity to you. You are not even his woman. His sexual conversations with other women, are none of your business. He really didn't have to ever call you back.

The way you handled it was like a 4-year-old. You withdrew didn't take his phone calls. All the while this man owed you nothing. A real woman would have told her man. " I know this early in the relationship you don't owe me any explanations to what you do with others, however when I saw that comment I felt hurt, and a little scared. I need to take a little space to re-group because you have done nothing wrong, so let's talk in a couple of days."