Argh! What Do You Think?

Okay, all my Libra friends, you get to vote. As most of you know I have been entranced, bewitched, bothered and bewildered by Libra Girl. Now to review Valentine's Day. We ran errands together, work related, and enjoyed each others' company. Some of my work done, some of hers done. While driving she let me touch her arm, hug her, kiss her on the cheek. We stopped for lunch at an upscale Mexican Restaurant. She gave me a card and baked me a Rum Mocha Chocolate Cake for V Day. I gave her a card and two very nice throw pillows she kept saying were beautiful. I went to kiss her (on the lips)---the moment seemed right, etc., and she said "No," and pulled away. I kissed her on the cheek anyway. I told her, "If you ever kissed me I'd faint dead away," and started falling to the floor. She said, "No, you wouldn't." I said, "Yes, I would." Really! At this point I'd be shocked!

Then we watched a great dance movie at my place, Take The Lead, and ate her rum cake. I basically held her hand throughout the movie and she didn't seem to mind, touched her leg, shoulders, off and on, didn't seem to mind. When the movie was over, she had to get back to see a friend, so I drove her to her place and she thanked me again. No, I didn't go for another kiss. Frankly, I'm upset and doing the wondering what's wrong with me thing.

SO sweet Libras, male and female, you get to VOTE! Yay! Here are the choices based on what you have shared with me in these posts:

1) Forget it. You've tried long enough. She's not into you. She only wants you as a friend. And she likes the gifts. She doesn't know how to say "No" when you ask her out. But you like her more than a friend. And she's just leading you on. Cut her off. Move on.

2) Hang in there. She just needs more time. She's giving you signs she wants you as more than a friend, only in that Libra way you haven't figured out. Just wait. You'll be pleasantly surprised.

3) Don't do anything. Just see what happens.

4) Wild Card Vote. "Other" with creative responses.

Thank you for your VOTE!

She's a prude.

Prude? Could be! What're the chances of future romance?

Atom darling, my point of view?? ok here goes:....I think she's a silly billy for being so coy but hey, she's a Libran (sorry guys and gals who are of that starsign LOL..you know I love ya!!!), so you have to play her at her own game.....I do suggest you now back off, be aloof and maybe, yes maybe even go out and have fun with the Leo (us Leos are fun you know?? LOL) and make yourself a little more difficult to reach...I know (man do I know) that its hard to pull away, to avoid contact, to try to forget they exist but if she's a normal Libran and she cares, she will come to you and it'll be like heaven for a while anyway until next time LOL. You want that kiss— then go and kiss another in the meantime!!! You owe her nothing at this stage 🙂 I can't for the life of me understand how anybody could not want to kiss...OMG kissing is the best!!!

Maybe she's got some underlying issues but if you keep making yourself available and continue to be there in the way SHE only wants you to she's going to continue to feel comfortable like that and offer you no more (you won't want that forever - trust me 😛)....you have to get her to move out of her comfort zone so to speak and start realising that you may not be around forever as Mr Nice Guy.

future romance with a Prude— ummmmmm....how much time have you got—

I say ask her how she feels about you and let her know how you feel about her, just generalize it. Not too much pressure. Like I did with my Libra friend. Liked the responses, but not enough action to follow. He is damaged and I can't expect too much and maybe nothing at all for a very long time, which I won't be sitting around waiting for.

Chatz, like the phrase about moving out of her comfort zone---will have to imprint that on the little grey cells. And, LOL, regarding future romance with a prude---I haven't got THAT much time!!!!!

QS, as you can tell, I'm growing impatient. I DID tell her on V Day, "You are the only woman I want to be." Is that direct and general enough? She seemed to take it in in her eyes and didn't say anything. I said it mainly to get to to THINK about it, like our darling Libras like doing (chewing on a bone).

Ha!

*I want to be WITH

oh yeah - they like to read between the lines too - so perhaps not be TOO direct - its a fine line between getting it right and wrong isn't it— oh Atom why are you doing this to yourself— LOL...why are all of us doing this—

only 3 hours to go and Im getting into that liqueur tonight - at least I'll enjoy the present I bought for HIM and yup Im laffing at myself 🙂

Maybe the poor bugger thought I was going to send the first text like I always do, i.e. Xmas/New year, etc......not this time, uh uh, not me!!! Maybe he's chewing on his own bone now *laffs*...ok back to work for me!!

LOVE your humour, girl! I wonder how much rum cake it will take me to get sauced?

I'd imagine a tad - enjoy though, and if you don't get sauced, just top it off with some more rum!!!

OK, Atom a little too direct and not general enough, you probably shocked her socks off, but I feel you I too get tired of tip toe'n around 'em...

QS, 'Hope it was a GOOD shock! Hey, she might as well know. Because she sure WILL know when I disappear off the face of the earth and she wonder what happened!

yeah, that disappearing act works everytime, but so hard to do sometime.

that a boy!!! Come in, sit down and pour yourself a drink like the rest of us during this "pulling away" phase!!! Im only a few days in myself so its going to be fun as per usual....Atom....welcome!!!

We should call it the Libran lovers singledom time eh?? Man, come to think of it, we should damned well enjoy these times in between as they take so much of our energy when we are around them...why on earth do we waste such precious time mourning them not being around— OMG that is insane...ok I've picked myself up again, how u all doing—

Let's face it guys and gals...they WILL come back soon anyway yeah— we should just enjoy the ride in the meantime...there is a reason they do come back - now don't put your mind in the gutter ok—....there;s more to it than that right?? LOL

ok a bit of humour - oh I do love humour....hope I put a smile on your dial anyway - that's my aim in life...to cheer others up hehehehe....in the process though, I get a good laugh 🙂

Chatz, you reminded me. I still have wine leftover from the other night!

nic', my typical Aries impatience is kicking in a-waiting your take on this!

Well, seeing as how you are the kind of guy to not really worry about the decision you make and just go with it confidently, there is no harm in just seeing where it goes. I have an intuition about this that she has a bit of a dark past she never dealt with.

It apears to me that she is fine with keeping you interrested as it makes her feel good, boosts her confidence. It is a selfish thing, but I'll put all my chips in on a bet that she is using some sort of past painful event to qualify in her mind her lack of reciprocation while still hanging around. Unfortunately, you could completely open up to her about how you are feeling and she could just turn around and coldly tell you about how that is your problem not hers. If I am right about this, it will result in some serious frustration from her making you feel like her feelings are indeed more important and do so without apology.

I could be wrong, but you seem like the kind of person who is keenly aware of who they are and what they can get so.........I personally would turn it around on her. Find a hot one to break the bed frame with and since you guys have no commitment to each other and she isn't providing you with any reason to assume she is going to come around....don't feel bad about it.

But that might just be me and my feeling I don't have to prove myself to anyone, I am who I am and you like me or you don't. If you do, do something about it. Give in.

Okay, that just sucks... No?!?!? The two of you have had how many "not date" dates, including one on V-Day. And, then she says "No" when you go to kiss her?!?!?!? WTF?

I am not a Libra, so I am probably going to be told I am wrong. And, I am sure this is going to come out harsh, so I will probably get a few lashings for it. But, I speak my heart...

The chick is leading you on. She may not even realize it, but she freaking is... I know you like this girl, and I don't want to piss you off, but you deserve better. You deserve to have someone that will appreciate and reciprocate your attention, affection, and love.

She obviously has some issues... Because, whether she consciously realizes it or not, dangling you at arms reach for as long as she has (knowing your feelings for her) is clearly indicative of the fact that she either cares very little for you or is incapable of taking any other person's feelings into account other than her own.

I think that you deserve better, any person deserves better than that... But, the heart does not follow reason. Follow your heart, where ever it may lead you...

Ooh Nic, that was so sexy... just turned me on... Like a man to know thy self and be confident with it... fanning self...

^^^^ What alcheme said^^^^

Look at it this way. Don't you understand she doesn't owe you anything for being a nice guy to her and treating you right? even if she does start to open up affectionately and passionately....I hope you like blue balls because there is going to be a lot of starting and stopping just to show you that she doesn't HAVE to do anything. This isn't a Libra thing, this is a girl that hasn't dealt with emotional damage who happens to be a Libra thing.

You have to have a little cynicism to deal with a girl like this. Personally, I would charm her into as far as she would go then when she coldly rolls over to go to sleep leaving you in testicular agony rub one out and let your sweet release discharge in her hair....then put your pants on, walk out and never talk to her again...but hey...how good are you at being and A-hole?

If I am right about all of this, she could be waiting for you to get frustrated and show it then she will turn it into the whole:

"You see, all guys just want sex"

It seems this could be a long drawn out version of what I went through with that Libra girl. But right now she is in total control, and in knowing her, do you think she will be willing to give that up and be vulnerable any time soon? What ever your gut reaction to that is you should let be your answer.

OMG that is so funny!!! terrible but funny

Ummmm Atom....you know Im going through the emotional rollercoaster ride with mine but he's ALWAYS affectionate, he ALWAYS wants to kiss and hug and just have his arm around me and gives me 100% of his attention when he's around me...he NEVER pulls away, he NEVER makes me feel insecure around him (only when he's gone again LOL).....ummmm...like the others have said....go for some other action - you owe her nothing 🙂

and Mwwwaaaahhhh for Valentines Day!!!!

"Personally, I would charm her into as far as she would go then when she coldly rolls over to go to sleep leaving you in testicular agony rub one out and let your sweet release discharge in her hair....then put your pants on, walk out and never talk to her again..."

Holey shit!!!!! A little pent up frustration and anger, Nic? Haha! I certainly hope no woman ever gives you blue balls again... Hahahahaha! You are just evil.

***I would charm her into as far as she would go then when she coldly rolls over to go to sleep leaving you in testicular agony rub one out and let your sweet release discharge in her hair....then put your pants on, walk out and never talk to her again...but hey...how good are you at being and A-hole?***


Not my sweet and charming Libra Nic, would you really do that— Even you guys get pissed off huh?

Honestly no, if just for the fact I wouldn't let it get that far. If a girl isn't going to let herself go for me I am not going to hang around to be an emotional scratching post. Or, at least not after I realize it, some times it takes a while to come around. If I saw that situation comming in an ironic way blue balls would be my own fault. I just have a little cynicism towards those who try to demonstrate congested emotional strife in the bed room.

I will help you with with anything you need, and I will do so with everything I have. But I am not the person who hurt you, don't take it out on me.

Sorry if my tact tank seems low. I just woke up like an hour ago.

Whew, you scared me for a minute. LOL!!!! So you have a lot of energy now huh—

nic', I think your intuition is right on too. I can not and will not ever be an A-hole to any woman for any reason; BUT have FELT that point of frustration. My response would be more toward pity for a broken person. I appreciate the point of view of her being in control and the comment about me NOT being the one in the past that hurt her.

You all probably know the famous quote from the novelette Damage: "Damaged people are dangerous because they know how to survive."

I have felt damaged somewhat from the past, probably like MOST people, but CHOOSE to deal kindly and as loving as I know how.

alcheme, you put in words what I've felt. I DO deserve better in that I DO deserve loving affection and romance just like any other red-blooded American boy, even nicodemus (ha!); and still feel she is VERY good for me. Yet, boy, do I miss intimacy or even an open door to intimacy (or, er, lotus to intimacy, if you prefer!). And, yes, I appreciate the LOL angst too!

kennyqu, will distance myself from Libra Girl for a while---get clearer perspective again---one reason being you HAVE pointed out I DO treat Leo Lass differently (probably, actually, feel more comfortable with her!). Will go back in my cave and grab the club again. Ha! Thanks!

Tom

Think your girl wants to stay in full control over what happens to HER. That's more important than winning you, at least at the moment but this is something she longs to break through. I do think that you are in a special zone. Because of the effort that she's put into it - who bakes a cake? Takes a couple of hours and at least you need happy thoughts while baking it.

I think a first reaction (if perhaps you have relationship issues) can be to say No, when getting kissed. Then you beat yourself up afterwards. You feel limited by your own thoughts.

Also think that if she contacts you now it is a Yes - BUT THAT STILL DOES NOT MEAN SHE WILL PUT HERSELF OUTTHERE. Because we would not put ourselves outthere and put your hopes up if I did not want you there. Too much hassle.

It's all in her head, of course...

I've gone and have put guys through hoops because I did not know what to do...

Well at least thus far it has been consistant in that she hasn't allowed it to go to that next level, rather than being ok with it and then putting the wall up.

I know what you mean and respect your inability to be an a-hole to any girl, no matter the situation. I was just trying to give you a cynical rise to get your head out of focus and have a laugh. I am the same way, which is kind of why I was pointing it out...I can't be a jerk either, it's just not something I will allow from myself and my comments were out of subtle suggestion you were the same way.

"Well at least thus far it has been consistant in that she hasn't allowed it to go to that next level, rather than being ok with it and then putting the wall up."

Bingo...

^^^^ What alcheme said^^^^

And KennyG

This whole precious thing on both sides is KILLING me. She is pretending to be a fragile flower and he is buying into it.

She will respect you if you stand up to her. She may not like you, but she will respect you. At some point, the game has to be played.

She has to be young and doesn't know what to do. That is the only explaination.

I have a Libra girlfriend who before she got married dated her Husband for a while. During the first couple of months, he tried really hard with her and she gave very little in return. She told me that she wasn't that into him. He eventually backed off (actually broke up with her) and after about 1-month she missed him terribly. They are now married.

Stand up to her or have her look around and I'm gone? I tend to be the "I'm gone" guy and once I make up my mind, I don't get involved again. I'm done with that person FOREVER (and usually by that time have another lovely maiden on my arm). I don't WANT to do that to this woman (and believe me, she's not FRAGILE) but may have to (taking Soliatas' point seriously). I have NEVER taken a woman back on the rebound. Hmmmm.

solitas, I have difficulty "tossing" anyone, but you've probably already perceived that. You see this as a completely no win situation. And it makes me sad. Digesting.

(((Atom)))...honestly you have yourself worked out and know what you will and won't do.....you needn't "toss" anybody aside....if you can handle the quiet times to find out for sure how this girl feels/thinks— go for the pulling away...it is hard, as you expect it will be but keep yourself busy, go out with some mates or some other female friends...it doesn't have to be a romantic interest, just friends and have a laugh..keep busy is the key!!! BELIEVE ME its hard but once you've gotten through the first day, then the next?? it gets easier and who knows?? it might just be the kick she needs!!! If not?? you've already gotten through a few days/week and you're on your way to finding new love....you have NOTHING to lose and EVERYTHING to gain and yeah...life has a funny way of working itself out 🙂

This too shall pass....life is to be lived, let's all insist on having a fabulous weekend whether or not our Libran mates are there to enjoy it with us or not...think positive and things do fall into place - promise!!!

Chatz,

You are remarkable.

Mwaahhh!!!

I think Chatz said it perfectly !! I would love to add to that but there is nothing more to be said. Nicely done.

archer, you know us well! It is VERY difficult to accept it. In fact, I'm still working on accepting it. It confuses us.