How Long— ...

Hi everyone,
I need a little advice about a situation that I've been dealing with. Well,
I've been dealing with a Libra male for a little over a year now and I need to know how long it takes for a Libra man to make up his mind to decide if he wants to pursue a relationship or not. We have such a "unique" friendship. Everybody that meets us or see us out and about, automatically assume we are a couple... BUT we really aren't. We are really close friends and we share pratically everything (like a best friend relationship). I love my Libra to death and I know he has love for me... it just seems that for some odd reason, he is holding back. He tells people that I'm the perfect woman, but it's just not time yet for us to be together. I do everything so perfect for him... cook dinner, we go to the movies, eat out... we spend so much time together. I also give him space when needed, no questions asked. We are so close to the point where his family (mom, grandma, cousins, sisters, aunt) calls me to find out where he is if they can't get in touch with him. I've been patiently waiting for us to move to the next level. It's tearing me apart though. I want to give up, but people keep telling me that it takes a libra a long time to make up their mind and I should keep holding on. This is really taking a toll. What should I do? What can I do at this point? I've practically done everything to show him how much I love and care about him. What's next??

"but people keep telling me that it takes a libra a long time to make up their mind "

...not a year.

Welcome to Libra Ville. A year seems a long time, but you'll notice from these posts Libra does take a long time to make up their minds regarding relationships---longer than any other sign I know. And I believe it depends on the particular Libra. My Libra Girl STILL is making up her mind, after approximately 8 months.

You've been shelved. He isn't ready for a relationship and there is nothing you can do about it because it ain't about you.

At this point, I would stop acting like a girlfriend and start dating other people. It might be enough to kick him into gear. And if not, you might just meet the right guy once you stop auditioning for this one.

It sucks.

Right on, little sparrow!

i think that it's because libras are very picky about who they will commit to. my libra x has not started a relationship with anyone and i've already ended another one🙂 they like to have fun and go where the party is, but maiby what you are doing is too comfortable for his taste. stop spoiling him with love and attention. realize that you are wonderful and he is just too dumb to see it. find someone who wants what you want. clearly this guy is using you .. you should stop seeing him so much.. and see if he comes looking for you. if he does, tell him what you want and he can either take it or leave it. and if not ... move on!!! i hope things work out well for you 🙂

I have to agree with the others....a year is a LONG time to wonder where you stand, and you should start seeing others and having some fun...you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with but dinner/movies, etc?? Go out and enjoy yourself.

Don't be so available and say no sometimes (say you have other plans)....this will be a shock to his system and might make him think and/or wonder as to what's going on. Sounds like you've totally spoilt him and he's walking all over you - maybe he doesnt even realise this but if it makes you worry so much and you feel you should "give up" then you have to ask yourself as to how much longer you want to be that to him....maybe its time to have THAT discussion with him?

1 year— and you are done with? may be you should ask aquabrat. It took her just 6 years. :d

LOL yes that's true but kind of a different situation but yeah yeah!!! whatever LOL

He sounds comfortable, it must be nice....He has everything he needs from you without having to make a decision, so he hasn't. He might not even realise how much you like him.

P4S, after my ex persued me, he got comfortable at one point. I did spoil him, I got tired of his comfort zone and went ghost for about a month, then when I finally answered one of his many calls, I did just what everyone is telling you. I told him I wanted more and if he didn't I would find someone who did. He became extremely submissive. I still didn't take him serious until a couple months after he asked me to move in with him we were together 8 years, married 6 years, unfortunately now divorced. Can't make them too comfortable.

Oh, and as everyone on here knows... He still won't let me go after the split... I know weird creatures.

*rolls eyes*

Yup. My Scorp ex and I have been broken up for two years, and it has only been about 4 months since I have been able to let it go and move on. No one else can see it of course, it's all introverted but when we fall, we fall.

I think that's what Im facing with mine...he's been away from his parter of 6 years for 2 years but still not "ready for a r/ship" as such....he doesn't know when he will be.....he's also suffering in silence but 2 years is a LONG time Nico!!!

Doesn't really give me much hope but having said that Nic...Im glad you've moved on finally 🙂

Doesn't really help when he sees her every Wednesday to spend time with his daughter (they stay at her house), and a few other times during the week for the same reason....it doesnt help when he goes out to birthday dinners to celebrate her other children's birthdays!!! Im not at all jealous but that is not the way to let go either....I know he still cares about his ex step children but sheesh!!! I did ask why he didn't spend the day with them all a few weeks back when they went to the beach and his response?? "I don't want to give her the slightest idea that there is anything between us...she's two-faced and I am glad to be out of the r/ship"...but somehow I think there's more to the story.

I dunno *shrugs*...Im just getting on with my life and when he finally misses me again he'll call - might not be available though LOL

yeah right!!

No Chatz, no hope is when my Libra friend after 5 break ups with his ex Sag. will probably not truly get over her for another two years and we all know "yours truly" will absolutely not be around for that...

Although, a couple people feel he felt he had to let her go. Howeve, I don't think that means he is over her...

So yeah, not feeling this situation, as I haven't heard form him for 3 days now. I haven't contacted him in 2 and I won't. Going out with another Libra possibly this weekend (not at all confirmed though)

There I go Nic, with the Libra guy/Scorp girl love/hate stuff...

Yup QS and Nic, you've actually made me realise mine may not be "available" for some time yet....thanks for that NOT lol.

Hmmmmmmm makes me wonder now...there goes my new found strength of not analyzing!!!

Nah its good - if he wants to live like that, well what can ya do? nothing really....seems sad to watch him be so lonely though - what a waste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***Doesn't really help when he sees her every Wednesday to spend time with his daughter (they stay at her house), and a few other times during the week for the same reason....it doesnt help when he goes out to birthday dinners to celebrate her other children's birthdays!!! Im not at all jealous but that is not the way to let go either....I know he still cares about his ex step children but sheesh!!! *****

OK, Chatz, stay at her house— A no, no. He seems to be holding on to an extent...

I must confess a situation similar happened with my ex and I. My ex went out with a friend and they were hanging out in the part of town where his baby mama lives... I was alseep at home and his friend left him stranded as they both were wasted. He called home about 6 times. I had the ringer off. He finally called his baby mama to take him to his car parked very far at his fiends house... She picked him up and sai she would drop him to his car in the morning - it was about 3 am. He slepted (according to her, him and their daughter) in his daughter's room and she slept in her mom's room til the next morning.

No not as in stay but he spends a few hours there entertaining his daughter....he goes straight after work and gets there around 6.00pm but is home around 8.00pm...just to keep in contact with his daughter. He's always home - there's no fear that he's spending nights with her - THAT I don't worry about at all. they don't do anything else together as such. He doesn't have dinner with them when he goes over on Wednesday nights (I kinda asked in a round about way) and he always chats with me when he's eating his dinner when he gets home LOL

The next morning as he is walking in the house I get a call from his daughter's mother, who tells me the story and I am a little angry, however at this point I know my ex loves me and he never really loved or was even in a relationship with her (just had unprotected sex a couple times and got her pregnant)I took their word for it... didn't like it at all though.... I told him that was the last time he would ever spend the night over there. He agreed. There was no cabs and the neighborhood isn't the safest, I agree, this is what he told me. He got away with that one.

I just don't get the thing where he feels he's obligated to celebrate her other childrens milestones - they are from a previous relationship. I understand he cares about them but yeah....I dunno, maybe Im being bitchy!!! *slaps hand*

bit-chy came out cookiemonstery LOL

Whew Chatz, OK. then that is different.

bitchy

Yeah if that were the case he'd be watching me walking that's for sure but I am 100% sure he isn't seeing her that way, just won't let go in other ways if you know what I mean - sad, sad, sad

Wow, that is wierd. just tested the bi-tchy thing. Anyway, he probably just bonded with the other kids during the time they were together. I am still bonded with my step daughters, because, they are my daughter's sisters... Kids are hard not to bond with.

Wow, that is wierd. just tested the bi-tchy thing. Anyway, he probably just bonded with the other kids during the time they were together. I am still bonded with my step daughters, because, they are my daughter's sisters... Kids are hard not to bond with.

Oh I understand that part - oh you know what I mean!!

He still calls them "my children".....yet you mention something else and he says "I'm no longer a family man".....that's how wishy washy it all is.

Hmmmm ok here goes the analyzing!!! damn

and yeah I guess...he's only caring coz he has his own daughter to worry about and what goes on in that household affects HIS own daughter....I dunno, i get it but you know...I am wary too!

You can turn off the filter in your profile, and it won't change the cuss words...

me? cuss— *blushes*

Im at work so I better not LOL

Chatz, I hear you. I just can understand because those other kids, although not his they are the siblings of his daughter, so I am kinda the same way.. I let my daughter call her sisters for b-day and just to talk to them...

I understand and apologies for getting on my high horse!!! I am happy he spends time with his daughter coz there are many that don't bother....I don't have a problem with it - just that when his ex clicks her fingers, he jumps!! Yet he speaks so badly of her. I dunno...we'll see

Thanks 🙂

Thanks to everyone for the insight. I think I'm gonna start dating and treating him a lot less important... because he is comfortable. I need to show his azz what he truly is missing and maybe he will realize what he has. If he doesn't, I'm tired of waiting on him to make a move. We'll see what happens. Thanks again!

Yup!

Just pull back and be aloof. It will become clear how he feels about you.

But give it a couple of weeks cause it may not click for a while...

Libra, why does that aloof thing work with you Libra girls?

It seems to ALWAYS work.....God only knows why Atom!!!! You know the freakiest thing— now that I'm ready to walk away (yet again LOL), here come the texts...but I have to ask why can he never ever call...guess there are no answers with Librans Mr Atom!!! ride it out if you can 🙂

Chatz, same here with Mr. Libra. That's when he comes back. We must be strong and walk away....walk away I say.

I've walked - I refuse now to make any first contact with him and it will only be in reply to his. I have made that decision and stick with it.

He can think about it seeing that's what they do best 🙂

OMG, Chatz, you're probably right. I'll do the aloof thing then Libra Girl will probably panic, turn on the charm and want to Super Glue (tm) herself to me. (Or is that just wishful thinking? Ha!).

The problem is Atom, that the pulling away and being aloof is a tough thing to do...it takes a few attempts that's for sure....it does work though *sigh*

It's terribly hard.

Atom - you're up for it though but remember that Leo!!! and yes we do like the 😛 part too hehehehe

Chatz, love your humour. You always put smile on my face!

Glad to make you smile...life is too short not to especially when you have a nice smile 🙂

I only like being around positive and happy people....grumps bring me down and that's never a good thing....so smile everybody!!!!

ITS THE WEEKEND, well for some anyway - your weekend is coming though 🙂