Bull-ish
@Boots1313
7 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 2429 · Posts: 2637 · Topics: 65
How can I move forward with Libra boyfriend?
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
My take is too much alchol put the soldier to sleep and he was embarrassed by it. You guys broke up while tipsy Yes? And once the hangover subsided he regretted it?
Posted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
click to expand
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
Posted by iFemmeHe is my boyfriend....I don't know where you got that info from.
Why would you try to work out this problem of yours, you not even in a relationship yet? Two strangers with a sex problem and you think it is worth to solve out? No-no, don't do it to yourself.
Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes percisely.
My take is too much alchol put the soldier to sleep and he was embarrassed by it. You guys broke up while tipsy Yes? And once the hangover subsided he regretted it?
The real issue is me trying to move on and take him seriously now and not get insecure that he is going to break it off with me the next time this happens. How do I get over that and believe he is in it?
Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
click to expand
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.
Posted by jeaneUgh, sadly I think you hit the nail on the head.Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.click to expand
All of the above is very accurate.
Thank you
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeaneUgh, sadly I think you hit the nail on the head.Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.
All of the above is very accurate.
Thank youclick to expand
you're welcome. i do sincerely hope i am wrong and please take what i've said with a pinch of salt. i have no idea if that is what he is really thinking or feeling.
Posted by jeaneHow do you suggest I approach a conversation with him about?Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeaneUgh, sadly I think you hit the nail on the head.Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.
All of the above is very accurate.
Thank you
you're welcome. i do sincerely hope i am wrong and please take what i've said with a pinch of salt. i have no idea if that is what he is really thinking or feeling.
click to expand
He wants to meet up with me tonight because I'm going away skiing for the weekend and he wants to see me before I go.
Posted by Boots1313If you want to continue the relationship then I suggest you try bring up what happened and communicate. Then put it behind you because this sort of external circumstances do happen to loads of people and then embarrassment stops people from talking about it and seeing it for what it is. Something that happens to people on the odd occasion who drink. He will clam up but with support and understanding brings strength.Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes percisely.
My take is too much alchol put the soldier to sleep and he was embarrassed by it. You guys broke up while tipsy Yes? And once the hangover subsided he regretted it?
The real issue is me trying to move on and take him seriously now and not get insecure that he is going to break it off with me the next time this happens. How do I get over that and believe he is in it?
click to expand
Since I posted this Tuesday and it didn't show up until today quick update:
I went over to his place to hang and have dinner. The other night came up in conversation and he said he's trying to move past it and he's so sorry that it happened and that he is very much interested in pursing what we have and he just wants to leave it in the past. He also explained even though he doesn't remember the conversation at all, he didn't break up with me but he admitted he isn't 100% content with our sex life. ... (to me this is hurtful and I guess I just don't place as much of an emphasis on sex) but he wants to try to connect and work on that aspect, other then that he is very happy.
We're both in our early 30s BTW. He also thinks he has a heart condition and has told me his ED has been an ongoing issue in the last 3 relationships he has had and is thinking of seeing a dr. That kind of made me feel better.
His actions seem to be sincere and I sort of feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
But I'm still extremely hesitant.
I'm going away this weekend so maybe some time away will help him think and figure out what he wants.
I went over to his place to hang and have dinner. The other night came up in conversation and he said he's trying to move past it and he's so sorry that it happened and that he is very much interested in pursing what we have and he just wants to leave it in the past. He also explained even though he doesn't remember the conversation at all, he didn't break up with me but he admitted he isn't 100% content with our sex life. ... (to me this is hurtful and I guess I just don't place as much of an emphasis on sex) but he wants to try to connect and work on that aspect, other then that he is very happy.
We're both in our early 30s BTW. He also thinks he has a heart condition and has told me his ED has been an ongoing issue in the last 3 relationships he has had and is thinking of seeing a dr. That kind of made me feel better.
His actions seem to be sincere and I sort of feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
But I'm still extremely hesitant.
I'm going away this weekend so maybe some time away will help him think and figure out what he wants.
Posted by Boots1313
Since I posted this Tuesday and it didn't show up until today quick update:
I went over to his place to hang and have dinner. The other night came up in conversation and he said he's trying to move past it and he's so sorry that it happened and that he is very much interested in pursing what we have and he just wants to leave it in the past. He also explained even though he doesn't remember the conversation at all, he didn't break up with me but he admitted he isn't 100% content with our sex life. ... (to me this is hurtful and I guess I just don't place as much of an emphasis on sex) but he wants to try to connect and work on that aspect, other then that he is very happy.
We're both in our early 30s BTW. He also thinks he has a heart condition and has told me his ED has been an ongoing issue in the last 3 relationships he has had and is thinking of seeing a dr. That kind of made me feel better.
His actions seem to be sincere and I sort of feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.
But I'm still extremely hesitant.
I'm going away this weekend so maybe some time away will help him think and figure out what he wants.
he should see a doctor. it could be a heart condition.
Posted by Boots1313it seems like you've had the discussion already. i would put it behind you now and continue working on strengthening your relationship.Posted by jeaneHow do you suggest I approach a conversation with him about?Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeaneUgh, sadly I think you hit the nail on the head.Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.
All of the above is very accurate.
Thank you
you're welcome. i do sincerely hope i am wrong and please take what i've said with a pinch of salt. i have no idea if that is what he is really thinking or feeling.
He wants to meet up with me tonight because I'm going away skiing for the weekend and he wants to see me before I go.click to expand
Posted by jeaneThank you. I wasn't sure if I should bring it up again and ask him if there is something missing and if he is trying to convince himself.Posted by Boots1313it seems like you've had the discussion already. i would put it behind you now and continue working on strengthening your relationship.Posted by jeaneHow do you suggest I approach a conversation with him about?Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeaneUgh, sadly I think you hit the nail on the head.Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.
All of the above is very accurate.
Thank you
you're welcome. i do sincerely hope i am wrong and please take what i've said with a pinch of salt. i have no idea if that is what he is really thinking or feeling.
He wants to meet up with me tonight because I'm going away skiing for the weekend and he wants to see me before I go.click to expand
But saying it out loud that sounds like an awful idea lol
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeaneThank you. I wasn't sure if I should bring it up again and ask him if there is something missing and if he is trying to convince himself.Posted by Boots1313it seems like you've had the discussion already. i would put it behind you now and continue working on strengthening your relationship.Posted by jeaneHow do you suggest I approach a conversation with him about?Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeaneUgh, sadly I think you hit the nail on the head.Posted by Boots1313- that you feel he is closed offPosted by jeaneHmmm, I hate to hear that, but I kind of have that feeling too.Posted by Boots1313
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
hmm...i don't know what it is (and perhaps i am reading far too much into this and completely wrong) but something seems off. i wouldn't be surprised if he breaks it off again in the near future.
What part of that is giving you that impression? Just curious
- that he repeatedly spoke about how fun it was - almost making a point of it. trying to convince himself? over compensating perhaps?
- his reaction that instead of blaming himself that he being drunk and a bit shit, he blamed the relationship. his words in particular might convey what he is really feeling?
to me it feels like he is trying to convince himself this is what he wants. you're a nice person and i'm sure he likes you but perhaps feels something is missing?
5 months (or thereabouts) is often the crunch time in relationship. is this something to continue now that the newness has worn off? is this what he really wants? is this is how he thought it would be? many people break up in this period.
like i said, i'm very willing to admit a lot of this is supposition on my part. i could be completely talking out of my arse here and i hope it was just a blip and the booze talking and nothing more.
i guess my only advice to you is to give it time. i don't think talking him to about his feelings will get you anywhere if he isn't ready to admit it to himself yet but you can try to see if there is something else behind this. i figure if he isn't forthcoming with his emotions so far he might not be with this either.
All of the above is very accurate.
Thank you
you're welcome. i do sincerely hope i am wrong and please take what i've said with a pinch of salt. i have no idea if that is what he is really thinking or feeling.
He wants to meet up with me tonight because I'm going away skiing for the weekend and he wants to see me before I go.
But saying it out loud that sounds like an awful idea lol
click to expand
he told you what was missing - the sex is unsatisfying for him. probably it's something he needs to tap into and work out what does it for him. all you can do is be (stealing from dan savage) ggg - good, giving and game. it's certainly not a lost cause. you just need good communication moving forward which is completely doable.
no need to rehash the other night. it's done.
Posted by tizianiTiz , I always love reading your advice I'm kind of a big fan lol
I wouldn't make it about him though. At the end of the day he's being upfront about what's going on with him (at least from your last post).
You've said things here about how you feel that are best said directly to him. Not about him, but about you.
Can you elaborate on this? What do u mean don't make it about him? Just tell him my feelings? I don't want to come off as insercure...
Posted by iFemmeAlthough I agree with you, you are incorrect. I have known him for 2 years, been dating for 6 months and officially together as bf gf 5 months. We aren't really strangers, just strangers to a more intimate relationship. That's where I agree with you.Posted by Boots1313I got that info:Posted by iFemmeHe is my boyfriend....I don't know where you got that info from.
Why would you try to work out this problem of yours, you not even in a relationship yet? Two strangers with a sex problem and you think it is worth to solve out? No-no, don't do it to yourself.
– "I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now"
– "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring"
click to expand
what are his personal planets?
and yours?
I am not sure I could get over it if somebody told me our sex life is boring.... is he watching too much porn?
the debacle of the other night was because he was embarassed he couldnt perform and told you in defence that sex is boring....
maybe you two have too much home-dates (dinner - sex) like an old married couple and not going out enough?
just dont try to force yourself beeing "more sexy" now
I think you should maybe suggest to have a sex-free month, only light touches... it can build up the passion... be playful and flirty, go out more on dates and be a bit like "shy"... so he can get back his confidence gradually, to get a connection back
dont force "sex goddess" , its too early... but dont be the "wife" and live a married couple life with all that dinners at home..... go out and have some fun
next time if there is again this situation, just talk to his penis, stroking and kissing it, and telling him: your master is drunk as f..ck and forcing you, but I love you just how you are 🙂 or something like this maybe?
but, the personal planets can maybe explain some of what is going on.... so, what are they?
and yours?
I am not sure I could get over it if somebody told me our sex life is boring.... is he watching too much porn?
the debacle of the other night was because he was embarassed he couldnt perform and told you in defence that sex is boring....
maybe you two have too much home-dates (dinner - sex) like an old married couple and not going out enough?
just dont try to force yourself beeing "more sexy" now
I think you should maybe suggest to have a sex-free month, only light touches... it can build up the passion... be playful and flirty, go out more on dates and be a bit like "shy"... so he can get back his confidence gradually, to get a connection back
dont force "sex goddess" , its too early... but dont be the "wife" and live a married couple life with all that dinners at home..... go out and have some fun
next time if there is again this situation, just talk to his penis, stroking and kissing it, and telling him: your master is drunk as f..ck and forcing you, but I love you just how you are 🙂 or something like this maybe?
but, the personal planets can maybe explain some of what is going on.... so, what are they?
Posted by Pandora101I love this response.
what are his personal planets?
and yours?
I am not sure I could get over it if somebody told me our sex life is boring.... is he watching too much porn?
the debacle of the other night was because he was embarassed he couldnt perform and told you in defence that sex is boring....
maybe you two have too much home-dates (dinner - sex) like an old married couple and not going out enough?
just dont try to force yourself beeing "more sexy" now
I think you should maybe suggest to have a sex-free month, only light touches... it can build up the passion... be playful and flirty, go out more on dates and be a bit like "shy"... so he can get back his confidence gradually, to get a connection back
dont force "sex goddess" , its too early... but dont be the "wife" and live a married couple life with all that dinners at home..... go out and have some fun
next time if there is again this situation, just talk to his penis, stroking and kissing it, and telling him: your master is drunk as f..ck and forcing you, but I love you just how you are 🙂 or something like this maybe?
but, the personal planets can maybe explain some of what is going on.... so, what are they?
Hes pure Libra-
Sun libra
Moon Libra
Venus Libra
Mars Virgo
Rising Libra
Im
Sun Taurus
Moon Virgo
Venus Gemini
Mars Cancer
Rising Libra
and to be honest things have been better-we went out last night and had no issue when we got home. Also our conversations have been more open and honest and the vulnerability from both of us has been helping us "connect"
We have been doing a lot of in home dinners, movies, sex routine -we both hate the cold and live in the north- so you are correct that, that gets boring. (and he admitted to watching a lot of porn)
I think we just need to do more activities and communicate more.
Thank you for your advice
and let me know what you think about the placements
Posted by DeleterNerdlol Thanks for the assessment
Hes blaming you for his limp dick problems the fuck? He sounds really weird, but you also sound weird.
Posted by Koniuchaai haven't looked that indepth into his chart.
He could be pure libra, but all of those libra placements might be in the 12th house
Once we start talking houses i get all confused.
Ill have to look into it.
Posted by DeleterNerdLol I can be antisocial, but for the most part I think i'm more social than he is-Posted by Boots1313My dad has your placements. I know how weirdly antisocial you are :p jkPosted by DeleterNerdlol Thanks for the assessment
Hes blaming you for his limp dick problems the fuck? He sounds really weird, but you also sound weird.
Libras can only get it up for women that remind them of their mothers. They also like to be bitchy women in relationships. I hope you go out and meet someone new. There's a 99% chance any other guy will be able to get it up for you lmao.click to expand
his mother died when he was young so no hope in me reminding him of his mother-i can be very "motherly" though.
and i've never had issues with past boyfriends and getting it up...so this is all very shocking and surprising to me.
Posted by Boots1313Guys are often morons...it was the wine!...gees...talk to him about how it's weird that he would wanna break up just because of the wine...or smth to that effect...it makes you a bit insecure. All is going well and he just decides to break up?Posted by QueenofthepheasantfairiesYes percisely.
My take is too much alchol put the soldier to sleep and he was embarrassed by it. You guys broke up while tipsy Yes? And once the hangover subsided he regretted it?
The real issue is me trying to move on and take him seriously now and not get insecure that he is going to break it off with me the next time this happens. How do I get over that and believe he is in it?
click to expand
Oh but if you say that he'll feel pressured and run away....god damn some guys are stupid. He ruined it. But it will pass. Just keep focusing on the good stuff...and no wine! 😂
I would often wonder why libras get ragged on all the time. Here is an example why. How old is he?
Posted by Librah31...he seems old enough. ..maybe not?
I would often wonder why libras get ragged on all the time. Here is an example why. How old is he?
Posted by Boots1313Some guys do mature a lot slower I guess. It just seems soooo damn weird to break up over that. I mean if that happened to me sure I'd be embarrassed, but I wouldn't end it. Even if I wanted to for other reasons I couldn't end it on a limp dick episode.Posted by Librah31...he seems old enough. ..maybe not?
I would often wonder why libras get ragged on all the time. Here is an example why. How old is he?click to expand
Posted by LibrahYeah thank you. I think now we ate better but to me it was such odd and hurtful behavior.Posted by Boots1313Some guys do mature a lot slower I guess. It just seems soooo damn weird to break up over that. I mean if that happened to me sure I'd be embarrassed, but I wouldn't end it. Even if I wanted to for other reasons I couldn't end it on a limp dick episode.Posted by Librah31...he seems old enough. ..maybe not?
I would often wonder why libras get ragged on all the time. Here is an example why. How old is he?
click to expand
Posted by Boots1313I think as long as you communicated how hurtful it was to you he won't pull shit like that again. If he's anything like me he'll hate the idea of hurting someone he cares about, not only that he'll hate the conflict it brings. Although if he does pull stuff like that again and forms a pattern of behavior it should be a red flag to bail for your own sake.Posted by LibrahYeah thank you. I think now we ate better but to me it was such odd and hurtful behavior.Posted by Boots1313Some guys do mature a lot slower I guess. It just seems soooo damn weird to break up over that. I mean if that happened to me sure I'd be embarrassed, but I wouldn't end it. Even if I wanted to for other reasons I couldn't end it on a limp dick episode.Posted by Librah31...he seems old enough. ..maybe not?
I would often wonder why libras get ragged on all the time. Here is an example why. How old is he?
click to expand
Posted by LibrahThank you for your insight. Next time I'm not sticking aroundPosted by Boots1313I think as long as you communicated how hurtful it was to you he won't pull shit like that again. If he's anything like me he'll hate the idea of hurting someone he cares about, not only that he'll hate the conflict it brings. Although if he does pull stuff like that again and forms a pattern of behavior it should be a red flag to bail for your own sake.Posted by LibrahYeah thank you. I think now we ate better but to me it was such odd and hurtful behavior.Posted by Boots1313Some guys do mature a lot slower I guess. It just seems soooo damn weird to break up over that. I mean if that happened to me sure I'd be embarrassed, but I wouldn't end it. Even if I wanted to for other reasons I couldn't end it on a limp dick episode.Posted by Librah31...he seems old enough. ..maybe not?
I would often wonder why libras get ragged on all the time. Here is an example why. How old is he?
click to expand
Posted by Boots1313My ex is a libra too. Faced similar situation as you.
Hi I'm new here but have been reading the boards for quite sometime.
I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks
What i did is to be patient with him. Libra doesnt like to be put in a situation where they feel stress in a rs. They need a long time to think about how they feel and what they want in a rs
My suggestion is, don't put too much attention in this rs, let it be natural, otherwise, you will end up being stress and upset over it
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I have been with an amazing Libra male for 5 months now.
He has always been emotionally closed off and at times hard to read, however he is very affectionate and we are always finding fun things to do together. ..to me everything has seemed fine.
Friday night, we cooked a romantic steak dinner togther, candles, music the works. I felt so special, spoiled and appreciated and he kept saying how much fun this was.
We settle in and watch a movie have a 2nd bottle of wine (we don't drink much so we were both very drunk) and moved into the bedroom where.....it didn't work. We tried and tried and nothing.
Now I know he's drunk and I'm not concerned I tell him let's just go to bed it's fine. Being completely understanding. His response "we don't have a connection anymore, there is no spark and our sex is boring" what?! I have been very satisfied and I figured he was as well we have never had this issue before.
He ended up breaking up with me and in the morning I packed all my things and left..
A few hours later he texted me begging for me back and that he wants to work things our, he knows things aren't perfect but he wants to try to make it work. He even showed up to a superb owl party I was at to say sorry.
Now I have forgiven and as of Monday we went on a nuce date bowling and it seems good. Im just scared and unsure and I need help just moving forward...any advice would help.
Thanks