How do I not fall for Libra

It's nothing overly serious, but we keep texting each other with phone calls in between and my silly Scorpio-dominant chart is starting to get obsessive about this guy. I don't wish to turn this guy off because of my ego but maybe I have to? To spare feelings

Is there a way to reframe what this guy is thinking. He often makes references to lovey dovey things, but I don't know how serious they are. By his account and honesty, he says it feels good to say these things and is being truthful in that regard.

Fml. I don't have time for this..but I can't help it! Where's all the people with hearts of steel that can resist.

I agree. I'm a Libra and sweet words just tumble out of our mouths to everyone. People often get the wrong impression. Just don't fall for him and if you feel you can't help it, stop contact to protect your heart.

More than about him... think of yourself. Why are you feeling conflicted where you are falling for someone you don't want to... or maybe just not yet.

What is it about your past or belief system that you are falling for someone when you yourself are not ready for.

I do not think that it's a problem to fall for people based on their sweet words if that is ALL you need to make you feel happy. Some people fall for words AND are okay to fall for those words... they exchange back and forth..and whether something serious develops or not...that exchange alone is fulfilling so no harm no foul. But if you know yourself that you want more to be happy and in love, ask yourself then why am I giving so much weight to words?

If you have answers to these questions, you can share it here as I'm curious about you.

Also before going all MIA or cold, are your interactions at a place where you should even want something serious? Do you know him well enough to want something serious even if he wanted to offer it to you?

If it's not in that place...then why even worry about being serious. You can just enjoy getting to know each other until you both do or until you may realize this is not the person for you to be serious with and you amicably part ways.

I know that as Caps, and even Libras though they may deny it, crave stability in long-term relationships so they jump the gun without first fully getting to know the person to see if they could fulfill each other's needs.

Posted by stillstillwater

I know that as Caps, and even Libras though they may deny it, crave stability in long-term relationships so they jump the gun without first fully getting to know the person to see if they could fulfill each other's needs.

i think this is true. we tend to get carried away in the beginning and then put the brakes on when reality hits and we begin to wonder is this what/who i really want? then we go through a period of oscillation. not helpful to the other person but admittedly, part of our process.

i agree with others, look for things of substance. words are not it.

Rule #1: Know Thyself.

Don’t be stupid. But that could be hard, sounds like you have a dash of stupid in you. Most who post relationship questions have some amount of stupid.

Well, that’s all I got. I really didn’t even care to read your entire post.

Posted by stillstillwater

Also before going all MIA or cold, are your interactions at a place where you should even want something serious? Do you know him well enough to want something serious even if he wanted to offer it to you?

If it's not in that place...then why even worry about being serious. You can just enjoy getting to know each other until you both do or until you may realize this is not the person for you to be serious with and you amicably part ways.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Its not very serious as, and this will sound super dumb, but it is long distance, however long I've known this dude. Only recently have we started flirting with the idea of relationship/flirting/romance basically. And by "recent" I mean like 5 months so.. yea.

The conflict comes in where I'm dating another guy who is very serious about me, for the same amount of time. Its all kind of fucked up if you think about it but as my post demonstrates, I can't quote put a lid on however I feel. It's this jumping the gun feeling but also wanting to pour your energy into something/someone worthy. I'm assuming he feels similar on some sort of level, but I've yet to really interrogate him Scorpio- style as I respect his space. And am not in a place to do so, never wanting to ruffle his airplane or scales...😅🤔

He is honest as most Librans are, just maybe not as reflective when I wonder why he doesn't have me in the friendzone? But maybe that's not what's really important. I don't know. I don't want to mislead, yet I have feelings, yet he's forthcoming.

All this talk really does help btw. I don't think I want to go MIA yet. I just need to get into a space of, Ok, I'm cool with this guy...liking and saying all these sweet, caramel-covered, candy walnut things to me.

Posted by jeane

Posted by stillstillwater

I know that as Caps, and even Libras though they may deny it, crave stability in long-term relationships so they jump the gun without first fully getting to know the person to see if they could fulfill each other's needs.

i think this is true. we tend to get carried away in the beginning and then put the brakes on when reality hits and we begin to wonder is this what/who i really want? then we go through a period of oscillation. not helpful to the other person but admittedly, part of our process.

i agree with others, look for things of substance. words are not it.

click to expand

Yes, I've heard the same. "Dude, I get attached too easily".. his words, approx 2 months ago. But at the time, I was more or less ok with that? Maybe I shouldnt be?

Libras a fkn sweet as heck !

Probably not the best to overanalyze this as I am. Scorpio obsession.

Posted by RollergirlOrc

Posted by stillstillwater

Also before going all MIA or cold, are your interactions at a place where you should even want something serious? Do you know him well enough to want something serious even if he wanted to offer it to you?

If it's not in that place...then why even worry about being serious. You can just enjoy getting to know each other until you both do or until you may realize this is not the person for you to be serious with and you amicably part ways.

Yes, you're absolutely right. Its not very serious as, and this will sound super dumb, but it is long distance, however long I've known this dude. Only recently have we started flirting with the idea of relationship/flirting/romance basically. And by "recent" I mean like 5 months so.. yea.

The conflict comes in where I'm dating another guy who is very serious about me, for the same amount of time. Its all kind of fucked up if you think about it but as my post demonstrates, I can't quote put a lid on however I feel. It's this jumping the gun feeling but also wanting to pour your energy into something/someone worthy. I'm assuming he feels similar on some sort of level, but I've yet to really interrogate him Scorpio- style as I respect his space. And am not in a place to do so, never wanting to ruffle his airplane or scales...😅🤔

He is honest as most Librans are, just maybe not as reflective when I wonder why he doesn't have me in the friendzone? But maybe that's not what's really important. I don't know. I don't want to mislead, yet I have feelings, yet he's forthcoming.

All this talk really does help btw. I don't think I want to go MIA yet. I just need to get into a space of, Ok, I'm cool with this guy...liking and saying all these sweet, caramel-covered, candy walnut things to me.

click to expand

Right...and don't be pressured by the other guy either. Just because 2nd dude wants to commit doesn't mean that you have to push the process on yourself or the Libra. It sounds like you like the LIbra dude better. I'd say just get to know both of them better and better until you are comfortable enough with one of them to commit.

Currently may be you do not need ot commit or open conversations of commitment with anyone.

However, objectively 5 months should be enough time to realize whether you want to be with someone but long distance almost triples that time if you are not visiting each other.

Posted by RollergirlOrc

Posted by jeane

Posted by stillstillwater

I know that as Caps, and even Libras though they may deny it, crave stability in long-term relationships so they jump the gun without first fully getting to know the person to see if they could fulfill each other's needs.

i think this is true. we tend to get carried away in the beginning and then put the brakes on when reality hits and we begin to wonder is this what/who i really want? then we go through a period of oscillation. not helpful to the other person but admittedly, part of our process.

i agree with others, look for things of substance. words are not it.

Yes, I've heard the same. "Dude, I get attached too easily".. his words, approx 2 months ago. But at the time, I was more or less ok with that? Maybe I shouldnt be?

click to expand

don't invest more than you are prepared to lose.

I don't understand RollergirlOrc, if the other guy you're dating wants to be in a serious relationship with you why don't you want him instead of the sweet talking Libra?

@DonnaLibra, its conflicting. Well moreso complications that i bring into myself. To be honest, I will change the story, I've actually been with serious dude before Libra came along as flirty/romantic.

Serious dude is much older, more than 10 years. He's a Taurus. We get along great, like best friends almost but maybe there's a part of my romantic needs that he doesn't hit spot on? It feels so odd to be split like this, that's why this Li-bro is upsetting me with his words. Very easy to fall for. I've mentioned serious dude to Libra. Libra seems to back off but then go back on, stating that he likes the flow of things and he would rather not mess with it, perhaps ignoring it in some part of his psyche. I don't blame him. At the same time, I've always wondered if I was some arbitrary choice as I've heard Libras do not like to be alone, but he's told me it wasn't. It is an odd long- distance liaison that I'm not sure can really last even though he's coming at me hot and with open arms should I even approach the subject.

I think I will try my best to stay friendly, but its again, very hard. His last relationship was almost like a marriage, so I'm guessing he was/is lonely but also fell into some comfort zone. I'm fairly certain hes not surrounded by women he's dating as, this boy is so honest without my even having to ask. Ugh... why. I'm a sucker for open books.

Posted by RollergirlOrc

@DonnaLibra, its conflicting. Well moreso complications that i bring into myself. To be honest, I will change the story, I've actually been with serious dude before Libra came along as flirty/romantic.

Serious dude is much older, more than 10 years. He's a Taurus. We get along great, like best friends almost but maybe there's a part of my romantic needs that he doesn't hit spot on? It feels so odd to be split like this, that's why this Li-bro is upsetting me with his words. Very easy to fall for. I've mentioned serious dude to Libra. Libra seems to back off but then go back on, stating that he likes the flow of things and he would rather not mess with it, perhaps ignoring it in some part of his psyche. I don't blame him. At the same time, I've always wondered if I was some arbitrary choice as I've heard Libras do not like to be alone, but he's told me it wasn't. It is an odd long- distance liaison that I'm not sure can really last even though he's coming at me hot and with open arms should I even approach the subject.

I think I will try my best to stay friendly, but its again, very hard. His last relationship was almost like a marriage, so I'm guessing he was/is lonely but also fell into some comfort zone. I'm fairly certain hes not surrounded by women he's dating as, this boy is so honest without my even having to ask. Ugh... why. I'm a sucker for open books.

It sounds like he's already in your blood so you might as well go with it and see what happens. Libra's don't like to be alone for to long (especially during the holidays) but that doesn't mean that we will latch on to just anyone to make it happen. We are very picky about our partners so if he was just blah about you he wouldn't pursue. I doubt he's desperate. You can try to stay friendly but it will escalate. How will you see him if it's long distance?

Posted by RollergirlOrc

@DonnaLibra, its conflicting. Well moreso complications that i bring into myself. To be honest, I will change the story, I've actually been with serious dude before Libra came along as flirty/romantic.

Serious dude is much older, more than 10 years. He's a Taurus. We get along great, like best friends almost but maybe there's a part of my romantic needs that he doesn't hit spot on? It feels so odd to be split like this, that's why this Li-bro is upsetting me with his words. Very easy to fall for. I've mentioned serious dude to Libra. Libra seems to back off but then go back on, stating that he likes the flow of things and he would rather not mess with it, perhaps ignoring it in some part of his psyche. I don't blame him. At the same time, I've always wondered if I was some arbitrary choice as I've heard Libras do not like to be alone, but he's told me it wasn't. It is an odd long- distance liaison that I'm not sure can really last even though he's coming at me hot and with open arms should I even approach the subject.

I think I will try my best to stay friendly, but its again, very hard. His last relationship was almost like a marriage, so I'm guessing he was/is lonely but also fell into some comfort zone. I'm fairly certain hes not surrounded by women he's dating as, this boy is so honest without my even having to ask. Ugh... why. I'm a sucker for open books.

It sounds like he's already in your blood so you might as well go with it and see what happens. Libra's don't like to be alone for to long (especially during the holidays) but that doesn't mean that we will latch on to just anyone to make it happen. We are very picky about our partners so if he was just blah about you he wouldn't pursue. I doubt he's desperate. You can try to stay friendly but it will escalate. How will you see him if it's long distance?

@DonnaLibra.. its flowing nicely but I don't think I'll jump the gun to see him... what if he's totally different in real life? What if we don't match in person. He seems quite content in this sort of anonymity. He backs off whenever I'm concerned or whatever and wouldn't want to come in between me and someone else (his words). A lot of unknowns. I think if I stay busy, I can appreciate him from afar, and he can do the same so we'll see.

Gosh. Happy holidays everyone!

Posted by RollergirlOrc

It's nothing overly serious, but we keep texting each other with phone calls in between and my silly Scorpio-dominant chart is starting to get obsessive about this guy. I don't wish to turn this guy off because of my ego but maybe I have to? To spare feelings

Is there a way to reframe what this guy is thinking. He often makes references to lovey dovey things, but I don't know how serious they are. By his account and honesty, he says it feels good to say these things and is being truthful in that regard.

Fml. I don't have time for this..but I can't help it! Where's all the people with hearts of steel that can resist.

With all due respect I think you are being way too hard on yourself. Hmm how do you not fall for a Libra? Umm, maybe space out the frequent communicaiton. I spoke and texted to someone everyday on the phone and when it abruptly ended I was crushed. Now I give about 20% instead of going all the way 'in' with someone I've known for less than 3 months. I talk about 3 times a week for about 30 minutes to an hour. This may not work for you because everybody is different, for me, however, it helps me pace my emotional investment appropriately.