I'm exhausted

I am at a point in my life where I may be at a relationship crossroads.I have poured my heart and soul into her ,I have always been there ,always supportive and never strayed , it's been 22 yrs now and the relationship has been great in the past. We are both quite capable of loving and bonding with eachother. . I have restored a beautiful home with a wonderful garden and a sweet charming world for myself and my Virgo wife.
I flirted once , it was very innocent , and was caught. She has hammered and persicuted me to no end , I cannot apologise enough , nothing works,and after all of this there is no trust.She is now insecure and continues to open the wound rather than move on . This is not the way I want to live my life , under a microscope of suspicion. We've talked and argued endlessly about it. At what point does a partner-driven Libra actually throw in the towel ? I'm getting close, I'm exausted .
If you want to pick me apart that's fine , it happens on DXPnet all the time.I can look myself in the mirror and I don't need to explain the ridiculous details here. What I really need is some kind of encouragement , I am too weary to battle .

yes , many times over .

Can I ask... was it the Aries co-worker? -_-

No Nefe , and over the last two years we have gone on several very enjoyable double dates to shows, concerts,dinner and public gardens. she had nothing to worry about there either and that's the damn truth.

I'm sorry if that sounded curt Nefer, I am in a bad mood .my apologies

I must have missed the "curtness".. probably because I didn't expect it, so I didn't read it with that inflection. lol

Hmmm... so flirting got you into hot water, then? Flirtsies and funsies gone too far (FOR HER)?

Honey, I feel for you, I really do.. I told you what can happen, bared my private life to strangers' eyes so you could see for yourself what "flirting" did to a Libra man's loving relationship. Granted, I was talking to you about the Aries co-worker.. but what I said still stands. Have you gone back to read the earliest posts, and the interaction between you and I? You should; I did.

Maybe it would help to know that Libra and I are doing wonderfully together now.. rebuilt, but in a different way.. stronger foundation. But it took a long time to get there, for REAL forgiveness to allow the gentleness back into my stoned-nearly-to-death heart. He almost lost me forever, but managed to hang in there JUST long enough -- because he understood that HE did this to ME.. and that I EARNED the time needed to heal my wounds, EARNED the right to occasionally bring it up and "hammer" at him with his past indiscretions, and much as he hated it, as unfair as it felt for me to "keep harping" on his wrongdoings.. he took it, hating being reminded of being "the bad guy" (esp when HE didn't think he did anything THAT wrong.. "it was just flirting! never cheating!").. but eventually, I slowly healed and could look at him with admiration and respect and love again... and that's when our relationship really deepened again.

in my experience..
if people are still in love...
they get over stuff pretty fast
if not..
everything is a BFD..

I want to thank EVERYONE for their responses, I sat down with her last night and went thru it with her much like the way 'METOO' had suggested. I told her I cannot live like this any longer , it's extremely unhealthy for the both of us. That this other woman has gotten into HER head , and not mine. Why ,out of no where does she keep bringing her up ? That the punshment has been too severe . I told her if it continues I would have to get an apartment so I can live in peace and not on eggshells. It was not a threat , just the reality of it .
She admitted her insecurities and promised to move on, but she has done this a month ago , and a month before that reguarding the same incident . That is what worries me , but she takes alot of pride in our long and happy marrage. She assured me that this is the end , I told her you will need to prove it because I cannot take it any longer.I'm toast.

so we will see what happens next , I dont want to do anything drastic but If I have to I will. And I can look myself in the mirror when it's all done.And I will be able to breathe again.Again thank you for all of your comments and I am hoping for the best .

Ahhhh Libras.. how DO you manage to take your fuck ups, and turn them around until it's the other person's problem, and their responsibility to fix? It's like your Superhero Superpower or something. -_-

Posted by Nefer
Ahhhh Libras.. how DO you manage to take your fuck ups, and turn them around until it's the other person's problem, and their responsibility to fix? It's like your Superhero Superpower or something. -_-

At the same time, he's had to have learned his lesson and to figuratively keep it in his pants because look what it started. Their flirting goes too far sometimes. Freaking control yourself when you're in a relationship. :/

I have a Libra coworker who had a very similar situation (except he did cheat once), and while they supposedly worked it out, she turned into a very insecure, backstabbing bitch. It pretty much ruined the entire relationship and they've seperated (he walked out, tired of her bullshit). Her behavior was understandable, but not justified. There are times I think that he forgot that letting his dick go astray is what caused him all his drama and issues. It wasn't right for her to dredge it up and turn into who she did, but ultimately, he started the entire problem.

I think guys need to keep in mind that generally, society breeds insecure women. On a daily basis we're bombarded how we're not good enough because we're not pretty enough, thin enough, slutty enough in the bedroom, or give oral enough. The barrage of what we're doing wrong that will make us lose our guy is outrageous. If we don't live up to a certain expectation, he will cheat on us and that's okay because we should have appeared a certain way and done certain things to keep HIM happy. Nevermind our own happiness. Don't forget trashy talk shows that constantly parade how many men are cheating on their women. We don't want to be one of those women!

So you could have something as innocent as flirting (assuming this is all it was) and there you go, that seed has been planted and now she'll start wondering about his integrity, what's she done wrong that he's flirting with other women, and omg is he doing other things? What if he's cheating? He's gone and shown absolute disrespect by doing something that should not be happening within the boundaries of a trustful relationship.

You can have, who seems like, the most confident woman in the world turn into the most insecure person you'll meet because of little things like this.

That said, if you think your truly innocent actions may cause waves, no matter how secure you think your lady is, don't do it. It's that simple.

^ Also, this isn't directed entirely to the OP, but to Libra guys/guys overall. I've seen Libra guys get into too much trouble with their flirty bullshit.

Rocky your notes are very inciteful , thankyou for explaining things i would not normally consider or even be conciously
be aware of. That was helpful . Thankyou

Np. 🙂

You should read "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" by George Carlin. He has a chapter in there on women. It'll open your eyes. :p

Posted by libragemmale
Rocky your notes are very inciteful , thankyou for explaining things i would not normally consider or even be conciously
be aware of. That was helpful . Thankyou

inciteful
Wow no better word