In 2 minds

I’d appreciate others opinions.

My first grandchild (a boy) is due on July 13th to my oldest daughter. Been waiting for a while for this exciting event. My daughter had a couple miscarriages over the last year. She’s happily married (2 years) with a very stable loving husband and great support system close by. Her father and step mum who was previously a very good friend, 2 adult sisters + younger baby sister and a huge close knit religious family and my family live locally.

I’ve been planning a trip to Europe with friends between June 30-July 21st (during school holidays so my other friends can get away.) It’s half way around the world from where we live and expensive, so 3 weeks is a very short trip, however also being a single woman, if I don’t jump on invitations like this, it rarely happens because a lot of people I know can’t afford time and money.

So the dilemma is, my daughter is upset and thinks I should be there. Not for the birth because she’s happy and content with her husband being the only one in theatre but thinks I should be there as soon as baby is born. I have said to her that she will have plenty of support, yes it’s not her mother but if baby is born right on his supposed birthdate I won’t be too far away, a week at the most. If he’s born earlier then yes he’ll be a couple weeks by the time I meet him....

So what do you all think?

what do you think you'll regret the most? not going on the trip or not being with your daughter for the birth of her first child?

Tell her to hold it in for a week longer, what's the big deal.

If she pouts about it, remind her how you labored for 17 hours giving birth to her, cursing through all of it.

Oh I'd have to be there....

Go on your trip and tell her shes gonna need the bonding time alone with her baby the first week anyways. People are gonna be trying to come see her and shes gonna need to shoe them away. She's being a little selfish.

The baby will sleep and poop the first month. She's going to be tired too. Just maybe cook some meals for her and freeze them for hubby to warm up. They will be good in the freezer, and it will show you care and are thinking of her. Or have the food delivered as a sweet gesture.

You're the grandmother allowed to live your life.

Go enjoy your trip. I know what it's like to be single and a grandmother. I love my grandboys dearly but I have a life too. You will need to establish boundaries. I'm sure you have a good connection but she is an adult now and this is her journey. I hear a lot about unfulfilled expectations and misunderstandings and worse when that can be cleared up ahead of time. You may both need to compromise a bit to keep the balance but that is with any type of relationship. Your job is done and now you get to enjoy your grandchildren, not raise them too. I hope this doesn't come across harshly but I have several friends who have had major troubles.

Definitely go on the trip!

Posted by jeane
what do you think you'll regret the most? not going on the trip or not being with your daughter for the birth of her first child?

In all honesty, not going on the trip and because she was upset by that and saying I'm selfish, it's why I am in 2 minds.

On top of all this, I am not allowed around the baby to cuddle and kiss him because of "the whooping cough injection" which I am not having.

So my role is to cook and clean to help out and wear a mask and look from a distance for the first 6 weeks. (I am happy enough to do my duty) however I personally don't think a week out will make a huge impact either way.

Thanks all

class="bqexpand"> Posted by sweethearts

Posted by jeane
what do you think you'll regret the most? not going on the trip or not being with your daughter for the birth of her first child?

In all honesty, not going on the trip and because she was upset by that and saying I'm selfish, it's why I am in 2 minds.

On top of all this, I am not allowed around the baby to cuddle and kiss him because of "the whooping cough injection" which I am not having.

So my role is to cook and clean to help out and wear a mask and look from a distance for the first 6 weeks. (I am happy enough to do my duty) however I personally don't think a week out will make a huge impact either way.

Thanks all click to expand

click to expand

if you'll regret not going on the trip, go on the trip. your daughter will get over it, or she won't. either way, that's her choice. do what makes you happy.