Libra Inaction (tldr, nothing happens)

This is gonna be long, a lot longer than I intended. I started writing because it helps me organize my thoughts and many of you know I can ramble as well as krysrenee, just not usually as often ;P

Anyway, I have a bunch written and may not get to put it all in my phone right now to post it. I am at work after all... Hahaha. If I don't finish now, just wait... I'll finish later. Without further adeau, here's the crap I wrote to post here.


We talk a lot here about what goes on in a libra's brain, especially when it comes to our indecisiveness and/or inaction in relationships. Even before then when's it's still just wondering if he/she likes you? How much do libra's flirt? Do they act differently if they like you? All that crap. I though the best way to explain would be with real examples and lots of carefully chosen words... and a few not so carefully chosen.

The stuff that always fascinated me here was that I wasn't the only complete coward with women. Friends is different, I'm great with female friends, but when I like someone it's like all my charm and charisma goes Forest Gump on me and I'm like Jeeennnnay. I'm sure people's reasons will be different but that libra inaction and refusal to make the first move has always been comically accurate for me.

There's a woman I know who makes my insides go retard on me, but she doesn't know. And I have no plans to tell her. I've poured myself out on here before and have no shame left so if you want another peak into a warped libra mind, read on. I can promise you one thing, it's long... (pun intended)

I guess the question is why haven't or won't told her anything? There's no real reason.

(continues)

*waiting*

love aries moons stories 😄

We met about a year ago when I worked at the bar. She was a waitress there too. At the time, I was "talking" to my ex wife again, and this woman was in a relationship too, so just friends. She was married, had one small kid and pregnant with another. Her husband was controlling and abusive and her friends had been telling her to leave for a long time. I don't understand that stuff and didnt want that kind of drama anyway so I just kept things light with her. We both grew up near Baltimore, we're both libras, I'm a few years older but we have the same birthdate. We talked regularly, just not about failed marriages.

One night she came to work with some extra makeup covering a black eye. They'd fought, he'd won, they broke up, again, for good, again. We talked more the next couple weeks but still only at work. Her husband hadn't allowed her male friends, with her new freedom we said we needed to hang out outside of work. But with us both having each and her working two jobs, we never did. We'd both said we would, should, just never anything firm so nothing happened.

Then, she popped. The baby was born. She was on maternity leave for a while. During that time, I got in a fight with my boss and quit. I don't frequent bars (especially that one lol) so I didn't see her no more. That was back around September.

(continues)

Posted by Damnata
*waiting*

love aries moons stories 😄

Gotta get back into work, much more to come.

I'm intrigued...

The next time I saw her was like six months later (two months ago), my friend had his birthday party there. He works there too. She was serving shots that night so she was more free to roam the crowd. When she saw me she came over, gave me a big lingering (at least on my side) hug, we each took a shot. Did the usual catch up thing, she said I was looking really good, she and her ex were still exes and would remain so. She was happier than before, she looked good. We talked a few times through the night as she made her rounds. She'd always linger near me for a minute and chit chat.

She wasn't closing that night so I told her to find me when she got off. She said she would. She didn't. I got tore up that night, it was a party after all... so at least, I don't think I saw her again that night.

During the day, the bar is a family type restaurant. They do a kids eat free thing on Sundays and everything... Any who, the free Sunday thing came up at home recently and the kids wanted to go. This past Sunday, we did. She was working.

As soon as I came in the door (she saw me in the parking lot) she came over and gave another of those big lingering hugs. She had to go pick up an order and the hostess was coming back from seating someone else. I peeked over the stand to look at the seating chart so I could get her section... but she wasn't on the floor plan. I did however see one section with no name. I put two and two together and asked to sit there. I later found out the floor plan was old and they were going on rotation... my scheme didn't work.

(continues)

After we ordered she came over and said she'd taken the charge off for my daughter's root beer float, and said I should have requested her. I confessed my failed attempt to get her, we laughed, we hugged, she went back to work. My daughter smiled at me and said "she's pretty", to which I replied, "yes very". Of course this lady had just come to our table and told my daughter she got a free rooter float, Megan would have been a fan no matter what.

Like I said though, I'm the nervous nerds type crusher. Shit, my waitress ended up sitting down laughing and talking with us for a while, my daughter even invited her to come hang out with us that afternoon, but with my friend all I did was creepily stare at her. She even caught me once and just smiled.

As we left she came over again and said goodbye. She said I had better come see her again and I better be in her section next time. One more hug, then me and the kids were off to Comicon. The kids like the restaurant, I like seeing the people I worked with... yeah maybe some more than others.

So yeah that's it...

Told ya nothing happened.

Maybe she would be interested, maybe she just likes pervy hugs. Haha. She's probably just a hugger and naturally friendly/flirty, I know I am...and she's a libra too. Down to the same day as me...
I know if I was on the other side of these exchanges I'd say I hadn't done anything more than friendly.

So what does a libra do?

This one does nothing.

Posted by dolphinjoy
could you please share your venus/mars placements in the end? I'm curious

Sun libra
Moon aries
Rising libra
Mercury libra
Venus Leo
Mars scorpio
More libra somewhere, I forget.

So there really is NO reason you feel the need not to do anything about it?

Shyness?

Residual from the experiences of the ex leave you "meh" about it all?

Libra laziness?

Posted by tiziani
You must have some serious chemistry otherwise I don't know how you could remember all these details. It's impressive.

It's a disease. I remember everything. I know every phone number I ever had. I memorize my bank account and credit card numbers...I even memorize account numbers that aren't mine. I'm an accountant, I memorize our trial balance, corporate accounts, passwords. I have jeopardy level useless facts in my head.

As good as it is in some areas, it's bad in others. Two wives did not like me being able to recite back conversations nearly word for word.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
So there really is NO reason you feel the need not to do anything about it?

Shyness?

Residual from the experiences of the ex leave you "meh" about it all?

Libra laziness?

It's some combination of these.

A general meh outlook to dating, I've said recently I ain't looking.
General shyness, I was never good at dating. Only ever dated like a dozen people.
Overall fear of rejection, even though not in this case it's been a lifelong thing even after affirmation is received sometimes.

But yeah really it's just things are going good right now. I'm almost completely out of debt. I'm looking to buy a house in the near future. I putting things back together and taking my time for once.

It not fear though. I can ask anyone anything. It's follow through. If she says yes then I actually have to plan something. And not just a couple times.

Haha maybe it is libra laziness.

Posted by tiziani
You must have some serious chemistry otherwise I don't know how you could remember all these details. It's impressive.

He has an aries moon. We remember EVERY detail as vivid as if it flashed before out eyes right then.

You're welcome. I don't know much about the astrology part anyway, just what I've picked up here. I put a full circle chart thing up on my profile before. It's should still be there if anyone is interested for astrological reasons.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by rockyroadicecream
So there really is NO reason you feel the need not to do anything about it?

Shyness?

Residual from the experiences of the ex leave you "meh" about it all?

Libra laziness?

It's some combination of these.

A general meh outlook to dating, I've said recently I ain't looking.
General shyness, I was never good at dating. Only ever dated like a dozen people.
Overall fear of rejection, even though not in this case it's been a lifelong thing even after affirmation is received sometimes.

But yeah really it's just things are going good right now. I'm almost completely out of debt. I'm looking to buy a house in the near future. I putting things back together and taking my time for once.

click to expand

I don't blame you. I'm the same way about all of it sometimes. I've got too much crap going on and don't have time for all the extra that comes with a relationship, whether it be time, or the potential bs that comes with bringing someone else into your life.

In the mean time, all you can do is you, really.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Damnata

Posted by tiziani
You must have some serious chemistry otherwise I don't know how you could remember all these details. It's impressive.

He has an aries moon. We remember EVERY detail as vivid as if it flashed before out eyes right then.

Just let the guy tell his story man.

click to expand

I am letting him 😭

Posted by Damnata

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Damnata

Posted by tiziani
You must have some serious chemistry otherwise I don't know how you could remember all these details. It's impressive.

He has an aries moon. We remember EVERY detail as vivid as if it flashed before out eyes right then.

Just let the guy tell his story man.

I am letting him 😭

click to expand

/Comfort

Question: How did you connect with your ex wife? Did she initiate?

Posted by dolphinjoy

Thank you for sharing your placements! They match my Libra's almost exactly (w/o houses), though he's still young...

I just got called old...

I am curious to hear what the answer is. You know it's inside you already and by talking about it, it might help it to surface and bring some clarity. You clearly have something of a connection and I would think if you do not pursue it you might regret it.....

Not sure what happened with that last post, I responded to VenusStar and broke the site.

Anyway, yes my ex wife was the aggressor. When we first met she was living with a temporary foster family who went to my church. I was dating a different girl who lived there. We all hung out several times. Me and the gf broke up, and Aqua went home. A few weeks later, maybe two months, I get a phone call from Aqua asking if I remember who she is and if I wanted to come hang out at her place. We started hanging out a lot, going everywhere together. She just started introducing herself as my gf, I didn't object to it, and it was official. We dated for a year or so.

I still saw her on and off for the next couple years. She'd come to my church, I was still friends with her sister. When I married my first wife Aqua showed up at church to meet her (not the wedding, just at church later that month). When I divorced my first wife, Aqua heard about it from her sister and waited outside my work one night.

Yes she initiated.

Posted by FixedWater
I am curious to hear what the answer is. You know it's inside you already and by talking about it, it might help it to surface and bring some clarity. You clearly have something of a connection and I would think if you do not pursue it you might regret it.....

Which answer?

What question?

Posted by Sugarfoot
Why not just ask for her number, talk? You know how things go when we find someone we can talk to AND are attracted to. I think you would have to make at least the first move asking her out. It's the very rare occasion that a libra woman will ask a man out.

There's no reason why not really. I don't know how? I'll see her again, I'm not looking for anything, and I'm not in a rush to find it.

Yes, she's fun and sweet. Yes, I've thought about it. Part of me wants to. I don't know honestly.

I just know people talk about libra shyness and fear of rejection and wonder how it coexists with the rest lively sociable self. I also know in my mind I am not a wishy washy mess incapable of action, however when I got thinking about this yesterday I was. So I figured I'd show how I talk myself out of doing things? Haha.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by dolphinjoy

Thank you for sharing your placements! They match my Libra's almost exactly (w/o houses), though he's still young...

I just got called old...

click to expand

bwahahahaha i'm old too if that matters. lol and a leeb sun with aries moon. i can relate to you a lot.

So... I got her number. Like twenty minutes ago. I just got home and am giddy like a school girl.

My daughter asked if we could go there for lunch again. She likes the restaurant and kids are free on Sunday, so we went. I requested her table this time. She was taking someone's order when we came in but saw me at the door. In my mind, her eyes lit up a bit...I'm not sure if it actually happened though haha. She came over, I perv'd another hug, she got us drinks, normal stuff.

She had a large party and they were having a rough day in the kitchen so she was running all over most of the time. She came by several times and we talked a little. Small talk mostly, kids, the frustration of visitation, work.

The signs were all good. She stood close, lots of hand on arm contact, playful teasing. Heh, when we first got there she said something like a "what are you doing here" and I said "Megan wanted lunch and I wanted to see that smiling face again". She smiled and said good thing I requested her as my server this time. I told her that I had requested anyone but her and the hostess must have misheard me.

Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave I said we should hang out. She agreed again. I laughed and told her we always say that but never have. She said it's because she works six days a week. I said she could come up with a better excuse than that if she's trying to blow me off. She laughed and said no, then asked if I had her number. I said no and she grabbed my phone and put her number in.

So all you who said I'd have to ask... Haha!

Lol😄

Woo! Finally, some progress! Did you text her?

Yes I did. Just a quick funny message so she has my number too. She's having a rough day I figured a smile would be good.

That's sweet! I'm glad you texted her ASAP. That shows interest and follow-through. This is exciting! 😄

lol

Posted by rockyroadicecream
lol

Come on, you gotta give me more than that...

Posted by dolphinjoy

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by dolphinjoy

Thank you for sharing your placements! They match my Libra's almost exactly (w/o houses), though he's still young...

I just got called old...

bwahahahaha i'm old too if that matters. lol and a leeb sun with aries moon. i can relate to you a lot.

That was more in a sense of being wise, rather than age lol

click to expand

No sense back tracking now... It's all good. 😛

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by rockyroadicecream
lol

Come on, you gotta give me more than that...

click to expand

Yeah! I was wondering what happened to rocky. She doesn't seem to be her usual self lately. lol

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by rockyroadicecream
lol

Come on, you gotta give me more than that...

click to expand

Just amused, haha.

"Omg, I finally did something and it worked!!"

Posted by LibraSid
So... I got her number. Like twenty minutes ago. I just got home and am giddy like a school girl.

bahaha I see an Aries Moon here.

I am the same way. I go home when I meet someone interesting and I dance around the house and no one can take the stupid smile off my face.

Posted by LibraSid
Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave I said we should hang out. She agreed again. I laughed and told her we always say that but never have. She said it's because she works six days a week. I said she could come up with a better excuse than that if she's trying to blow me off. She laughed and said no, then asked if I had her number. I said no and she grabbed my phone and put her number in.

So again you didn't do shit but casually suggest and again the woman took the initiative with the Libra Man and put her number in his phone. You don't fool me Libra, once again your gimmick works on a chick without you asking her the number straight up.

ROFLMAO

She probably got tired waiting for him to make a move, haha.

But he does get kudos for putting himself a bit more out there than before.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by LibraSid
Anyway, as we were getting ready to leave I said we should hang out. She agreed again. I laughed and told her we always say that but never have. She said it's because she works six days a week. I said she could come up with a better excuse than that if she's trying to blow me off. She laughed and said no, then asked if I had her number. I said no and she grabbed my phone and put her number in.

So again you didn't do shit but casually suggest and again the woman took the initiative with the Libra Man and put her number in his phone. You don't fool me Libra, once again your gimmick works on a chick without you asking her the number straight up.

ROFLMAO

I know I didn't really do anything. That's what this part meant.

Posted by LibraSid

So all you who said I'd have to ask... Haha!

click to expand

I was working up to it. I wasn't leaving there without either her number or a "no".

I had hoped to be able to update with some good news but the thread title still holds true...nothing has happened.

We texted a few times. It was friendly but she's not very responsive. I called her the other day, she didn't answer and hasn't called back. I texted a joke a day later (a day or two ago), no response. At this point I'm not doing anything else.

No worries.

I did ask her out the one night she had told me she was off. She said she couldn't because she had her kids. I replied it looked liked I may have to take her and the kids to the playground or something to get her out of the house. No reply.

The joke I sent was the next day. When she didn't reply to that either, ehhh.

I was gonna post something joining in the anti flaky libra campaign but whatever haha.

Unresponsive, huh...that sucks.
What are you going to do now, LS?

How disappointing! 😭

Posted by intheair
Unresponsive, huh...that sucks.
What are you going to do now, LS?

I go about my regularly scheduled life. Any future contact can be initiated by her. If the kids want to eat there again, I'll perv another hug...but I can take a hint. I've said before, I'll only chase someone if I think they want to be caught.

Come on Libra I am rooting for you!

If any Libra man can do it..must be one with an Aries Moon.

Posted by Sugarfoot
LOL @ anti-flaky Libra campaign. Eh...maybe she's not into introducing her kids to guys she's interested in until things are more serious. I can see her schedule being impossible between being a single mom and working 6 days a week. And it's a physical job too. Smh that's a lot.

It's all good though. At least you did
your part. I predict she'll reach out to you after she hasn't heard from you in a while. I got 5 on it. Let's get a pot goin. 😉

I wondered that too about the kids. She has mentioned before though that our daughters are close in age and would probably have fun playing together. That's also why I didn't press it and followed up the next day light and easy with a joke.

Oh well, I'm not gonna sweat it.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by intheair
Unresponsive, huh...that sucks.
What are you going to do now, LS?

I go about my regularly scheduled life. Any future contact can be initiated by her. If the kids want to eat there again, I'll perv another hug...but I can take a hint. I've said before, I'll only chase someone if I think they want to be caught.

click to expand

Good sensible plan...
But what do you do w/the feelings you have for her? Stuff them away?

Posted by intheair

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by intheair
Unresponsive, huh...that sucks.
What are you going to do now, LS?

I go about my regularly scheduled life. Any future contact can be initiated by her. If the kids want to eat there again, I'll perv another hug...but I can take a hint. I've said before, I'll only chase someone if I think they want to be caught.

Good sensible plan...
But what do you do w/the feelings you have for her? Stuff them away?

click to expand

It's a crush. It's far too early for deep feelings that would matter. I still think she's a cool woman. We both work a lot and we both have kids. Sometimes things just don't work.

I take it as she was just being friendly. Any interest in more was one sided. I've been down that road before, no thanks.

No harm no foul.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by intheair
Unresponsive, huh...that sucks.
What are you going to do now, LS?

I go about my regularly scheduled life. Any future contact can be initiated by her. If the kids want to eat there again, I'll perv another hug...but I can take a hint. I've said before, I'll only chase someone if I think they want to be caught.

click to expand

I hear you, LS! It's the same for me. The one I'm after needs to be on the same page. I don't wanna be imposing or desperate. That's a waste of time and effort if it's not going to be reciprocated.

...what a lame bitch. :/

All that flirting, the number swap, etc.

And then she behaves like this?

You may be fine with it, but women like this piss me off as the rest of us have to fight off stereotypical crap like that.

It'd make more sense if you insisted on her number and then this happened. Still messed up, but a lot of women are wusses when it comes to saying no if not interested. But she gave you hers and is being all unresponsive. That's not cool on any level. :/

Best of luck, regardless of what happens.

It's so sad that many Librans are like this. The whole inaction thing, I really feel it's because they are afraid of rejection for the most part, the second part is that they 'think' a lot and they realize that if they do initiate and things go as planned then they will have to work at it, and that for a Libran is a big reason to not initiate. Being the charming characters they are should be enough for a woman to want to fawn over them. Libra's love to be admired and love the idea of seduction, it's a turn on for them, so if they have to do the ground work they can't get the same feelings they would if the woman they really liked initiated and seduced them instead. Some people call it lazy, but I see it differently, I understand that it's their thing. Beware of a Libran that is all up in your face and initiating, coz if you meet on of them they only want one thing from you. Supprisingly enough, the best Librans to have a full on committed relationship with are the ones that expect you to do the work, they will repay you in full plus more with their devotion (even if they can't tell you, they show you).

This only works with Libran's though, any other guy that is not a Libran that expects you to persue, is generally a calculated player that wants you to make the moves so he doesn't have to make you any promises, or else he's so shy he's incapable, in either case you should just move on.