libra man... mixed messages

I am confused about my ex (Libra 15\10\1971) behavior. He broke up with me 5 months ago. I accepted his decision. I did not call him or had any contact with him.

We didn't talk for 2 months then his mom died. He called me up and wanted to talk. He wanted to get together.

Then I don't hear from him again until mothers' day. He wants to talk and came over .He tells me how much he misses me and he wants to be with me but I don't want him anymore. He ?likes me a lot?, trust me, can talk to me about anything and he felt that we had a connection. And he can't find what we had with anyone else.

After a few hours of crying and sharing his sorrow's with me. He tells me that his mom's death messed him up and he doesn't want a relationship he is too mess up now (It was almost as if he was angry with me like I tricked him into being there with me. I had to remind him that he was the one that came to me and wanted to get back together)? but he wants me stick around and be there for him. Because he needs me right now.

He fell asleep and held me all night. We got up and went to work. Now, 4 days later and I have not heard from him.

I am one of those people when I hurt I want to be alone and when I am done licking my wounds I bounce right back. I do understand what he is going through. It is just frustrating.

I care about him but I am also so tired of his changing his mind about me.

I don't know what to do and I don't want to get my hopes up again?.

sounds familiar!!!

This guy sounds very immature and I hate to say it, it would seem he is using you and once done, he's off on his merry way...until next time. Save your sanity and put him behind you...this guy won't change...take it from somebody who heard all the excuses of who and what and how this and that messed a Libra man up. He won't change

thank you.

I already knew that I have to put him behind me for my sanity.I also realised that he knows I have a soft spot for him. I have allowed him for to long to come and go as he pleases.This time am just feed up\tired with him.

good be true to yourself...and sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind - I have learnt the hard way but life is too short to have people who bring us down to allow them to continue to do so time and time again 🙂

u too leo?

Yes, I am a Leo.

Bella79 dont even think about being loyal to this one...run, run, run...fast, dont look back lol

lol... see the similar symptoms like chatzee'es libra. 😛 we have 3 examples now(other one being hurt-heart). It should be the way it is for all leo females, libra man combo and its corresponding with each other zodiac.


RUNNNNNNNNNNNN...

lol.
thanks.don't really know what to say. I have been telling friends that I am done with him everytime he messes up.Then when he calls I am like a love sick puppy.

This time I just need to do it and be strong. I think deep down I realised on monday morning that it is over.

I just hope that I keep to my word this time.And let him go

I really hate to feel so weak and pathetic and at the same time so consumed, attracted and overwhelmed by him.

When i met this leo girl, i was so much attracted to her. Asked her out, went out but during dining, i figured out what going inside my head doesnt look close to a genuine like towards her character but more of a lust towards her shape and looks. That evening i made myself look like a fool and skipped. Next day i mailed her saying i do like you but i dont think it would be wise to think about dating you because of so and so reasons. I just wanted to stop myself from taking advantage of the situation.

OK. so, what you are saying is that he is taking advantage of the situation. becauseI let him.

You're right I figured that out a while ago but still I continued. I thought he cared about me andwe lived together for about eight months then one day of of the blue he tells me he doesn't want me.

I have told him time and time again to stay away from me. I really need to get him out of my system.

He probably dont know that yet. I have been experimenting with my life on how i feel and how different it is with different zodiacs. thats the only reason why i know for sure its not just the same. So dont judge him.

I don't judge him.

I just want him to respect my decision and stay away from me. I am really tired of this roller coaster ride that "we" are on.

one moment he wnats to be with me and the next he doesn't. When we are together he gets this look in his eyes... like a trapped animal and I know that I won't see him for a while. I spoke to him about this and told him that he should be honest with himself and if he doesn't see me as the woman in his life .He should let me go. He asked me if I was sure about my decision , to not see him anymore. I said yes , because I can't take it anymore.

He will stay away for a while. Then he will come to my house drunk out of his mind and tell me he can't let me go.

it really isn't fair what he is doing to me... OK, I know that I am the one allowing him to do this.

u shud tell him all those. may be send him a link to this thread and let him read it. he can easily comprehend situations if its explained from another libras perspective.

come to think of it he told me that one of his greatest flaws is that he can't sustain a long term relationship. I really try to listen to him calmly. Which is not always easy being a leo. He will contradict himself every 3rd sentence. He wants to be with me but he doesn't want a relationship now. So, I asked him what is he doing here with me if I doesn't want I relationship.
Response ?I like you every much and should not have left you?. But I just have too many issues and am messed up. I told him to go and speak to a someone?

he is just being honest about what all thoughts goes inside his head. You cannot understand it because its not presented in your way of understanding. Dont try to find fault with him. there is no fault. its not him or you, its the general issue btween leo females and libra males. Kinda same happens with Libra females and Saggi males, Aries females chasing Gemini men.

Try to find ways to help him rationalize his own thoughts. that would be the easiest way out.

u shud tell him all those. may be send him a link to this thread and let him read it. he can easily comprehend situations if its explained from another libras perspective.

I have talked and talked to him about what is going on between the 2 of us. but then he will show up time and time again. He will act like a jealous boyfriend.Picks up my phone ask me if I have contact or still sleeping with my ex(Capricorn( He had cancer so we brokeup. So, that he can take care of his health.We still have a very good friendship. We talk but we haven't seen each other).

thelibran , you are right I don't understand. I really want to understand how he thinks and why he does the things he is doing without taking everything so personal.I am super sensitive and I always end up relating his acts to how he feels about me.

I just so terrified of sticking around for him and when he has or is dealing with his issues... then he decides he does not want me.

I am really not one of those go with the flow kind of people...

Bella79....this sounds so familiar....he wants you but doesnt want you. At the end of the day, he comes and goes as he pleases...what does he do while he's away? keeping his options open that's what..

Oh yes he may very well love you, want you, need you, truly desire you but he's not in love with you or he wouldnt treat you this way...it would seem there's a huge attraction with Leo and Libra but for some reason it just doesnt seem to work out - we are so similar in many ways and have amazing fun but then there's those times when we dont get one another and lets face it, its ALWAYS about how Libra is confused right? its ALWAYS about him not being ready and its ALWAYS the "messed up" thing they come up with.

Mine continually told me that he wasnt "good enough", that he wasnt "worth it"...to a Leo? that's cruel because we want to help people, we have a good heart...they play on that, however, they dont mean to - its just the way they are. In my situation I kept allowing him to take advantage because I was in love with him...he knew it and right at the end when I finished it all off, he said "I had no idea you had such strong feelings for me"...WTF?? Seriously these guys act so shy and without a clue because they're so wrapped up in their own mind that they just dont care about the person they're with...him and I did what we did for a full 12 months...how can you not know somebody cares for you? pffttt LOL

I still love him, always will, but its a different kind of love....I do hope you are true to yourself and dont allow him to return - its not healthy and we hang on way too long as it is

I guess chatz can explain it easily to you than me doing it. She being a leo and have spend a year psychoanalyzing her libra, she is sort of an expert. lol.

He need some solid reasons to pull himself away from you. And you cannot give him any reasons other than "recurring astrological pattern". IMHO, easy option is to give him the link and ask him to read. if he understands, he will realize its only fair from his side to avoid chasing you. if he dont understand, he can get all angry with u and decide to stay away from you for posting all these in a forum. 😉


🙂

thelibran ,thanks for listen to my ranting.

Try to find ways to help him rationalize his own thoughts. that would be the easiest way out.

How do I do this? somethings I try to speak to him calmly about a situation and he thinks I am attacking him or I want to fight...He will raise his voice and I have to tell him we are talking calmly and I am not attacking or finding fault with him. I am trying to understand what he is saying...

aw, bella, sweetie....this guy is milking the attention you give him. i am wrong a lot, but the way I see it, he came over to you on Mother's Day because he knew you'd comfort him and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. What threw up a red flag for me was him phoning you up drunk wanting to see you. His true feelings should surface when he's sober, not when he's intoxicated.

From what I've read, you have told him to let you go. But the control comes from you. If you want him to let go, you have to initiate it and not be a love struck puppy when he comes calling or crawling.

You have received a lot of valuable advice here. Ultimately, it is you who needs to decide what to do and stick to it.

and letting him go means not answering calls, no emails, texts, etc....they are all links to coming back....you have to be cruel to be kind.

At the end of the day ask yourseld...."did he comfort me when I needed him as I did for him"...in most cases on this board this would not be the case.....

Im the last person to put Libras down because I love them dearly...they make much better friends than lovers/friends.....its just the libras that are screwed up? they are truly better off alone than using people as a "crutch"....doubt they know they're doing it but trust me, if you continue on this path of allowing him back in? as soon as he's found a replacement? you'll find he'll cut you dead without hesitation....such is life...be strong and be pro-active, not the victim.

I did this stupid dance for 12 months...never again 🙂 He taught me a lot about what I will and won't accept so I thank him for that....that's all I do have to thank him for....he rest? it was a one-sided r/ship where he always got what he want....dont follow those footsteps...my sermon is over LOL

amen

thank you all for your advice.

And you are all right I should be the one to put an end to this. And yes, I do like the idea that he needs me.

But I am also at a point where I am not willing to put myself through this rollercoaster of emotions with him. As much as I love him I am also so tired?

I will just have to be firm\ tougher with him. It doesn't help to change my number or to stay away from him. He will always find a way to get to me. Like ,Chatz said I will just have to be cruel to be kind.

He came around last night beacuse I was not answering his calls...

I told him that I can't do this anymore . I don't want to be with him anymore. And I don't like what we are doing to eachother( I am not a angel). And just like he wants me to respect his decisions and I would appreciate if he respects my decision not to have him in my life on any level.

He just sat there looking at me. And he got up , said he had to go and left.

Thats good. he will be hurt for a while. but thats the only way.

no, i don't think he's hurt; I think he's playing a game.

Sorry where are the mixed messages?

His mom died. He is messed up. He doesn't want to be in a relationship but you are the closest person to him and you did share a bond with him so he is reaching out to you because he is grieving and alone. He is seeking you out for comfort.

People can love each other with out being romantic.

People are simple. He needs your love, friendship, and support right now. Sometimes the ego has to go out the door when someone we care about is in trouble. This isn't about you and him it is about someone who is grieving and in pain.

The question is what sort of person are you? What sort of person do you want to be? Choose your action wisely because your actions here will dictate the type of person you are.

sorry, didn't read page 2.

Sounds like he is your typical male libra messed in the head. I only know two libra men I like. The rest just turn me right off cause they are pricks and seriously f'ed up about women. They lie. They cheat. They have sexual addictions. Some real crazy stuff.

Do what is best for you honey. I misunderstood the situation so I appologize.

(Libra women however rock.)

I went through this...and he is confused right now. He is hurt and confused. Therefore he is going to be wishy washy. Part of his confusion is he is thinking the following:

1. is she someone my mom would have liked
2. do i really like her or am i grieveing
3. am i using her to try and replace my mom in my life
4. is she the one i want to settle with or is there something else because life is short

LMAO That's my ex Libra male's profile heading "Life's too short!!!"....yet he pissed me and another woman off just to sit behind a computer every freaking night....yep EVERY night...there's nobody there for him, he'd prefer isolation than to commit....hope his computer and him are very happy LOL

You're right LS, I TOTALLY agree and its so sad but their problem 🙂

Ooops that came out all wrong...what I meant was...I dont understand these guys saying "life's too short"....too short for what? sitting at home dwelling on what could have been in previous r/ships so you avoid other r/ships but want to use women for sex and then act all innocent when they want more? puhleeeeese!!

This libra is also doing what mine did....yes he'd come running when life got the better of him....I took it for a year, but not anymore....save yourself hun, as this one said..."LIFE IS TOO SHORT" for this crap

what done is done... Right now I don't feel anything. Went out with my girls bar hopping. only feels good until the next day.

Yes, maybe he is messed up and going through issues right now. I really hope that he sorts them out.

"1. is she someone my mom would have liked"
I met his mom and we got on well.But when she got sick I didn't see her that much. This is when he got all silent , distant, withdrawn and ended our relationship.
I didn't pressure him, I let him come and go and do whatever he wanted.But I made sure that he knew that I will be there for him if he needed me.

"2. do i really like her or am i grieveing"
don't really know...but it makes me feel like that song of Match box 21 - hand me down.

"3. am i using her to try and replace my mom in my life
We could talk to each other about anything and I think in a way we both felt appreciated and understood by the other. He says that he misses that.

"4. is she the one i want to settle with or is there something else because life is short"
It is funny how you break up with someone. then everyone wants to tell you what he was up too.Well, he is in a relationship with someone else. They are living together .So, he has someone else to be there for him.

Yes, life is too short ... and I have my life to live.

Sorry.. Matchbox Twenty, still in toxicated and have deadlines with clients.

Can anyone give me advise? i have been seeing a Libra for 2 yrs now, he is in a realtionship girlfriends a sag, with children (yes i am the other woman) foolish i know but unfortunatly i have fallen for him in a big way. I am usally very good at dealing with my feelings and situations, i have finnished this so many times, i have changed my job as this all started while working with him, I stopped seeing for 3 months but we were texting as i made it clear just friends now, then this friday he text me and we see each other, straight back to square one. What is he doing to my head, is he playing with me, using me? can someone shed some light, make me see sense before this distroys his family?

All I can say is you cant possibly have any self esteem if you knowingly and willingly are the "other woman"...and you want advice?? WTF?? You already are destroying his family....he's using your situation because he can - you keep letting him....and he will NEVER choose you over his family...trust me

I have to shake my head

Thanks for reply its good to see how others see your situation

Yeah, reality check, maybe it is a self esteem issue, i would never and have never asked him to leave is g/f, but no i havn't made it easy for this situation to continue either. i did meet another guy for a while who was also an aries which we got on real well, but libra just kept on pushing which was my fault as well for letting him, (but when you have feelings for someone)i stopped seeing the aries guy coz i didn't think it was right to bring someone into my life while still having feeling for another guy?

sorry.. hit the post button twice

OMG Chatz! That is another thing I have noticed. So many of them don't want REAL relationships. They wanna do some sort of weird online thing. Like they are afraid to get in the real world and be with a real woman. WTF?!?!

The last encounter I had with one was just this week so it is fresh on my mind. I have known him for a year. We work in the same industry so I invited him to an event. He is engaged ended up making out with this girl there and begs her to take him home. (which she didn't.)

He emails me a few days later and says he is going to start a profile on an internet dating site and that I should too. (WTF?) So I mention his FIANCE to him. (and tell him I have no interest in that what so ever. I am pretty content with what I have.) He is like oh I don't want to meet them face to face just have a little chat fun. (WTF?) I tell him all the reasons why it is wrong. So he starts to back petal. But seriously. WTF?!?!

I know so, SO many libra guys that are fucked up like this. At first I thought it was just one or two but there is an entire slew of them. It is the truth not the exception. Seriously.

I have only met two who are actually decent good guys and whom I would set up with a friend. The rest are just dramakings.

It is funny because so, SO many libra women are just awesome grounded, down to earth people. Not sure what happened to the men.

"i stopped seeing the aries guy coz i didn't think it was right to bring someone into my life while still having feeling for another guy"

do you see the irony here? you don't think it's right to bring someone into the equation when you have feelings for someone else. so by those standards, practice what you preach and walk away from this guy. He has children with someone else whom he has feelings for.

You may have fallen hard for this guy, but he's not going to leave her for you. And let's say he does decide to be with you. How long do you think it'll last before you start questioning his actions, coming home late, text messages, etc. If he cheated with you and gets away with it with his current girlfriend, then chances are very good he'll do it again.

Try to break away from him. Don't give in to him. You are only hurting yourself. If you give up the booty, he'll find it somewhere else...you're replaceable.

H74

You are so right, i need to get rid of this guy for good, joining up to a dating agency get some dates and attention form some other guys get him out of my head.
Thanks

I can feel soo much what you are writing about here...this back&forth game...and sentences like " I like you very much" in my case with additional: "I want you to be happy" BUT "I need time,understanding" and "go on with your life, be optimistic, don t forget me cos the world can turn around" and so on..I' ve listened to these words too often!!!

Once we've been together in a relationship than he left my country for more than 2 years and since than I've listened to these bull...t! Once he talked about being together forever, how ideal I am than 2 weeks later again hesitating. Now I m finising studies and I could move to his place but still there is sthing (as always) to make him hesitate!

and I suffered cause my head knew it s not correct to care about him soo much but my heart wanted to be "optimistic"...

Till I recognized that IF I DON T RESPECT MYSELF and let him further space for this behavior THAN THIS WILL GO ON AND NEVER DEVELOP anywhere...

and what hapenned when I told him this?!..he said, "you are right!"
So I told him after all I m not goona do any efforts for him and again he said "yes, you are right! If I m gonna b 100% sure what I want in my future and from you, I will be able to get you!"

So, the very important lesson I ve learnt is to respect myself and be brave to stand for myself if I dont want false love cause true love comes back even if we let it go!

Curtain!

LOL LIttle Sparrow....its too true unfortunately and they know how to win these girls over online, then perhaps even meet, have some fun and then up and on.....my ex Libra though, didnt end up meeting many, if any but for some weird reason he'd prefer to delude himself that the online thing is actually REAL life...pffttt....weird, and I also got to know a few of these Libras online through chat...all the same and all hoping to find "the one"

I know one thing though, Ive not heard of a single success story re: Libras who do this....they're too engrossed in their own head....up and on I say 🙂 Leave em behind..they dont seem to have any morals whatsoever....you live and learn which is always good

Mine thought absolutely nothing of it that I was seeing him for 12 months but that he'd be on at least 3 sites that I knew of, never doing anything with it but he'd make excuses not to see me on Friday and Saturday nights (not always, but just when he wanted to be left to dive into his own depression, but he'd be online instead...this guy truly believed all these women were his real friends but it was quite funny when women would hack into his accounts and cause mayhem with them - so funny now)...but anyway, he'd keep me strung on that little string and every single time I wanted to get more "serious" with him he'd find a way to back pedal and each time he'd say, "i didnt realise you were developing feelings for me"...but he'd not hesitate in luring me back until the end when I called his bluff...even then he said "Im not ready for a r/ship with anybody"....but even that night, there he was online - loser!!

Dont get me wrong, Im not angry at him, IM in fact very grateful to him for setting me free but again, these guys dont hesitate in hurting others - you're right, the women seem to have it together but the ones who have "depression" or are "hurt" from past experiences? best left alone to play with the e-women LMAO