In July of last year I walked away from a traumatic relationship with 2 kids. I met My libra guy online and from the start he swept me off my feet. However I sprinkled our relationship with my doubts because I’ve gotten use to dysfunction and our relationship made me afraid. I told him early on I wasn’t ready for a relationship because of my past and needed to work on some things. He was ok with that and said we could go slow. But he was very serious about wanting to be exclusive with me and frequently telling me we were in a relationship. He was a great guy and eventually I agreed to be exclusive with him. However, we both work a lot (I’m a nurse) and we live over an hour from each other we are also both parents and not ready to meet the kids, so our time is very limited. It consist of seeing each other once a week, not a lot of calling, and a few text a day. This is very different for me as spending time is a way that I feel secure in a relationship. He also is very hot and cold. Very attentive intense/passionate and affectionate when we are together but cool and polite in text and when we are apart. Long story short he seemed distant and text became once a day or we’d go a day not talking. I struggled because as I said I need to feel connected somehow especially if you want a relationship to evolve with me. I told him I missed him on Easter in which he didn’t respond to my text until the next day asking about the kids. I told him how this bothered me and questioned if we should continue seeing each other... I didn’t get a response and was gaining a sense of dread. The next morning he texted that we could talk later, he’d been thinking a lot about what is best for his daughter every since he was at her birthday party. He said he needed a day to process his feelings and I agreed. I was torn up that whole day and didn’t call him. When I saw he didn’t text me for for the second day I assumed we were over. He is divorced and when he talked about the welfare of his daughter I assumed he meant leaving me for the mother. I know I shouldn’t assume but I panicked. I was falling for a guy who I wasn’t sure if he was all in, what he says and does don’t always match I.e. being hot/cold. So I took advice from a YouTuber I follow (I know, dumb) and texted I’ve been thinking. We should take a break. We can see other people and remain friends, if you want more let me know.” He responded with “ I wish you the best. Take care.” I realize I was defending my heart and trying to buffer it from a breakup prematurely. I was devestated and called him. He told me he doesn’t take breaks and he is firm on what he told me in the text. It bothered him that I think we should see other people. And he was shocked. I tried to explain why I wrote it, that I assumed he wanted to be with his daughter’s mother and not with me, I thought he maybe wanted a break because he was so distant but he said if I cared about him I wouldn’t write things I don’t mean. He only sees my text not the intent behind it. He said we can remain friends but he didn’t want to pursue me physically and he is respecting my choice. Are we really over or is he just hurt? He is such a great guy and I hate that I sabotaged myself. My bday is March 19, 1986 his is September 28, 1986...I didn’t know if its needed but I’ll add just in case 🙂
